Berent was inside an asteroid; a fifty
kilometer diameter sphere hollowed out of the rock. Berent rotated on 
one
axis to create artificial gravity for its inhabitants.

{There are practical problems involved in every place in the colony 
having a different gravity.  It is for this reason that the standard 
design for a space colony (which appears to be Berent's inspiration) is
not a sphere but rather a cylinder.  Apart from that, don't repeat 
Berent's name in two consecutive sentences.  Instead use "It" the second 
time, or make it all one sentence as in "...an [insert description] 
which rotated to create the effect of gravity inside the rock."}

Angels cost
a great deal of money, and to keep them in their maturation chambers
until they grew up was too dear a price for many these days.

{Five Star Stories?}

  Weird Harold helped Floyd to his feet. The old psionic brushed his
black sunglasses up from his eyes, then thought better of it. Even in 
the
dimly lit ambient room, his dialated pupils let in far too much light.

{The room was ambient?  How does it do that?  "dilated"}

after repairing the latest breakdown on their starship, The Antichrist,

{That's kind of a strange and potentially offensive name for a starship}

     "Yeah, until the inevitable disaster happens, and then we become
personas non gratas on Berent for awhile." Crazy Eddie added.

{You might want to work a little harder to give more of your characters 
a distinctive voice.  You have a rather large cast after all.}

 The first ork, undaunted by the streams of hemocyanin
blood flowing from his nostrils,

{Avoid technospeak unless needed for flavour.  Hemocyanin doesn't
mean anything to the average reader.  You might as well just have 
called it "blood".  Neither Phineas nor the Ork care what the blood
is made out of, by Phineas might notice it's colour in passing.}

   "We will. Go with Light," the Angel said as the cab started up into
the flyer traffic

{I hope those two show up again.  Otherwise that was a really pointless
fight.  But hey, 500,000 words, I'm sure they will.}