Since my hubby already commented on the English portion of the fic, I
am merely here to insert a couple of comments on the Japanese portion.
Dan Root wrote:
Ishi o Tsukairu
written by DaR
Okay, what are you trying to say with this title? Because last I heard,
the verb "tsukairu" didn't exist. There is the verb "tsukau" (to use)
which is conjugated to "tsukaimasu" and can even become "tsukatteiru"
(is/are using). There is even the verb "tsukaeru" (to be able to use,
or
to get clogged/blocked up). My impression, though, is that you wanted
to use some form of "tsukau" so that the title is something along the
lines of "using (one's/his) willpower."
In any case, it would be only polite to provide a translation somewhere
for the non-Japanese-speaking majority on the list. :)
(snip)
Somewhat disappointed that the manual hadn't revealed any great
secrets, he flopped back on the bank of the river, randomly flipping
through the remainder of the book. As he turned back, he came
across the other section that had struck a chord in him. Staring
at the characters and diagrams was a slightly maddening experience,
he could *almost* make them out if he wasn't focusing, but as soon
as he looked closer they became nonsense again. Then it hit him.
The sensation was almost exactly the same as he felt when first
trying to summon the ki necessary for techniques like the mouku
takashiba or hiryu shoten ha.
That would be Moukou Takabisha :)
Some people occasionally accused Ranma of being stupid, but that
was mostly a judgment of his academic performance and somewhat
undeveloped social skills. His mind made the leap nearly immediately,
<This is a manual of ki techniques!> Slipping into the correct
state of relaxed focus, he started over from the beginning of the
section, trying to absorb the feeling of the text rather than the
exact literal meaning. As he read he found some moves that felt
familiar: there was a projectile like the shi shi houkudan or his
And Shi shi Houkoudan
(snip)
It didn't take him long to get there, which suited him fine, as he
was impatient to get his plan underway. He circled around the
school campus, then hopped over the protecting wall, landing lightly
on the ground inside. There was a small corpse of trees on this
^^^^^^
I do believe you meant "copse" (not Japanese, but it stuck out :)
(snip)
A quick walk around the base of the tree from varying distances
proved that the combination of leaves, branches, and brown nylon
hid it well, even knowing where to look Ranma had trouble picking
it out. Satisfied that no one could find the book unless they knew
exactly where it was, he headed for home. Moving at a far more
sedate pace than his normal roof hopping, he mentally ran a series
of fights, figuring out where the optimal place to insert the new
technique was. Used right it would pin his a opponent like a
butterfly. chyou o sasu, 'pin the butterfly'. Ranma was pleased,
he even liked his name for the new technique.
The only problem with this is that it isn't really in the idiom of the
special technique names in Ranma 1/2 - they are exclusively "Chinese"
compounds, where the name above is a sentence. Might I suggest
"Choushi"?
"Cheer up okyakusama, it can't be all bad." The bowl of ramen slid
under his hands, the wisps of steam warm against his cool skin.
Ranma smiled his thanks at the man barely older than himself and
then returned his contemplation to the food in front of him. He
muttered "itadakemasu" to himself as he broke the chopsticks apart,
then took hold of the bowl. The eating utensils flashed, snatching
up a piece of meat to be held in the cooling stream of air from
his mouth.
"itadakimasu"
And I think it would be again polite to provide a translation, or to not
use the Japanese. These may be first-semester Japanese, but not
everyone
has had even that, and these are not "common knowledge" like the
ubiquitous
"baka."
I will refrain from actual fic commentary because I am about fifteen
minutes late getting ready for work, but I believe Jamie said much of
what
I would have. Consider this a supplement :)
Bridget