Pretty enjoyable with a nice ending though you do you you left it hanging
there :)  The story never realy sets the location for the battle though.
I'm asuming it at the Dojo or in Nerima as everyone is present including
Kasumi and Nabiki.  The bra and panty line just seemed a little out of place
with the rest of the paragraph of Happosai the way it was fit in.  It may
have flowed a little better if if it was phrased starting with 'and' to sort
of link it to the rest of the paragraph.

It was interesting how you wrote Ranma's and then Saffron thoughts as
seperate paragraphs even though they covered the same time.  It was little
awkard when you had Ranma's actions linked it Saffron saying something that
you don't know what he said till you got halfway into the next block of text
though.

     The battle was not going well for the Nerima group as the they faced

off


Extra 'the' in the start there.

Tom

----
Thomas C Kinnen - <tkinnen@creativeanime.com> <tkinnen@livingston.com>
[Test Engineer - Radius ABM] - LUCENT Technologies RABU
<URL:http://www.livingston.com/> * <URL:http://www.lucent.com/dns/>