It's a bit early to really say much about this story. It's not *bad*,
but it is too easy to fall into the fusion-trap of simply repeating
events readers already know with only *minor* changes, which, after
a while, grows rather *boring*.

In other words, I think you should try to make the *RANMA* elements
in this story a bit stronger overall, and also try to give it some
direction beyond just following the events of FKC - in what way
would the Ranma-elements make things different? If one event happens
slightly differently, then the next one might happen in a *totally*
different way, or not at all, if I'm making myself clear. As I
said, this is not too bad yet, but if you keep going the same way,
it will pretty soon be.

Most of the characters in this series are from Ranma 1/2, but the
personalities of many have been slightly altered to fit within the roles
established by the fusion with Futaba-kun Change. The following details
are significant at this time:

Um.

You should try to tell this by showing it in the *story*, not in some
introducory notes, and you need not even do so *immediately* but as
it becomes apparant.

Really. As now, that bit looks *very* amateurish.

Ranma-kun Change, Volume 1

And the title. Gah. What can I say? *CHANGE IT*. This type of
"standard" title scares lots of people off with out even taking a
glance at the fic; if it wasn't the first Futaba-fic I've seen
on the list, *I* probably wouldn't be reading this now.

worst. He just didn't get it. Besides, with half of the boys at 
Fuurinkan High chasing after her, he didn't have a chance. Well, a man
could dream...

Hello? I thought this was Ranma? While he might well think he can't
get to Akane because she hates boys, he sure as hell wouldn't think
his chances less because there are other boys chasing her - he has
too high an opinion of himself for that.

I have no problem with his reluctance; I have some problems with part
of the reasons behind it.

He thought back to their first meeting. He had arrived for his first day 

"meeting, when he" sounds better.

On the surface, it had appeared that he had been wrong. She had yelled

no "had" - "it appeared that he had been wrong; she yelled at him"

However, later that day she had seemed to have had a change of heart.
Even though she hadn't said it with words, she had given him a look
that told him that she really had been glad that he had stood up for 
her.

Try "the look she gave him told him that she had really" to avoid
the damn "had"ing all the time.

Still, any time that he had tried to approach her since then, she had 

every time

given
him the brush-off.

Can you really say "give someone the brush-off"?

A chalkboard eraser sailed through the air and whacked Ranma upside
the head, shaking him out of his daydream. He looked up at Miss
Hinako, who seemed to be quite angry at him.

Scratch "to be".

"Saotome! Ranma Saotome! What are you daydreaming about? Pay
attention to the lesson, not the girls! The lesson!"

"Yes, Miss Hinako," he replied in a small voice. The rest of the class
burst out laughing.

'Akane...she laughed at me,' Ranma thought.

And if Akane is to be Akane, she wouldn't laugh - she'd scowl at the
pervert.

Hiroshi grabbed Ranma and tried to place him in a tight headlock. "Who
were ya looking at in class anyway?"

"Whaddya mean 'who'?" Ranma forced his way out of Hiroshi's hold
and dropped into a simple defensive stance.

While it is a good touch to make Ranma more markedly better than
his pals than Futaba (who, IIRC, really strains at the corresponding
point in FKC), I think you should exaggerate it even further - Ranma
is The Great Ranma, after all, and Hiroshi originally no martial
artist at all. Since you already say "tried", make it clear he doesn't
actually succeed.

"Think again!" Ranma's fist flew out to punch Hiroshi directly between
the eyes. Hiroshi retaliated by throwing a punch at Ranma. This quickly
degenerated into a low-level fight. Ranma could have finished Hiroshi
quickly, but he preferred to win by surrender, not knockout. After a few
moments, both collapsed in a heap at the feet of Akane, who had been
standing nearby, watching them.

"Kyaaa!" Akane quickly pushed down her skirt. "How dare you look up
my skirt, you pervert!" She waved her fist at Ranma.

Here, I think you're going a bit too far in order to include a scene,
in that you have Ranma exhausted by the fight, too. A better
solution would be to have him throw his opponent in a way that has
him ending up on the floor, too; or better yet, skip the scene.
Of course it, it *does* fit rather well with Akane and Nabiki.

"But you still did it, didn't you!?" Akane reached up to slap Ranma.

Slap? Akane would deck Ranma right away before he'd gotten halfway
through his explanation.

Kunou tried to glomp Akane, but she shoved him into the wall before he
had a chance to succeed.

Heh.

"A talisman?" Nabiki was shocked. Akane believed in magic? Then
again, one of Nabiki's major sources of income was selling "foolproof"
methods to trap Akane to the boys who had crushes on her, some of
which *did* involve the use of "magic". If they could believe in it, 
then
why not Akane?

And this time, I *really* think you should come up with something
new. Heck, it's Akane - the actual peek itself would be more than
enough for her.

boy interested in you, you need to show some interest in him. Do you
really think he'll come to you if you push him away the same as you do
every other boy who approaches you?"

Aww. This is Nabiki. At the very least, she'd *CHARGE* her for the
advice...

"Stop this! You're just wasting your time."

"Here! Buy *this* item of *GENUINE* magic instead!" ^_^
And you might at least include a thought from Nabiki at a missed
opportunity in that regard...

people saw it!' She thought of the tag again. Ranma would definitely be
her last choice to see the tag pinned to her panties. After all, it was 
his
name written on it.

That sentence is more than a little awkward.

" Anyway, let's get going. I still have some stuff to do before noon
recess is over," Nabiki prompted, impatiently.

Seeing as how they're sisters - as opposed to best friends - I really
see no reason for Nabiki and Akane to follow each other around all
the time.

"Are you blind? It's the latest set of prints of Akane Tendou that we 
got

>from Nabiki!?" Hiroshi explained.

Heheh.

he remembered his father's words. He must never admit to having
feelings for any girl, or his father would be quite angry.

Hm?

I'm looking forward to finding out why. ^_^

'She is kinda cute...' Ranma admitted.

Er. Admitted? Didn't he already think about that earlier?

Ranma's heart began to beat faster: "Doki doki".

I *could* accept "The heart beat faster: "Dunk dunk"" or something
like that, though it looks *WAY* silly - but really, using a
jappish sound effect in a fact otherwise written in english - NO.

She was... so beautiful. She was slender, but not skinny, lean muscle
filling in the places where fat had been. Not that she was muscle-bound,
mind you. On the contrary, she was quite curvy and well-stacked. What

I think you're missing out on an important aspect of Ranma 1/2 if
you make Akane "well-stacked" - it's more than enough that she is
beatiful in other regards.

Besides, having her ... assets ... smaller would give opportunity
for a source of worry for Akane which could be employed well in a
story like this.

"Doki doki doki doki" Ranma began to feel dizzy.

Just bloody say that his heart beat faster and faster; this is
*prose*, not a comic book.

Daisuke, upon seeing that Ranma was almost completely nude,
developed an explosive nosebleed and passed out on the floor.

And now, you're *DEFINITELY* overdoing the analogue. There's
no reason to turn Daisuke into (forgothisname); this is supposed
to be a fusion, not FKC with the Ranma names search-and-replaced.

"Hey you!" Kunou shouted. He tried to grab Ranma before she
could escape.

And much better to have Kunou momentarily stunned by the
beatiful goddess when he enters, then try to capture her in the
usual Kunou way - "hey you" is way too rude/informal.

"...As a matter of fact, -I- was the one who gave birth to you!"

Finding out that *GENMA* is your mother would be enough to drive
anyone insane. ^_^

with anyone that might cause trouble later. It also explained why his
father had kept insisting that he never reveal any feelings that he 
might
have about a girl to anyone, if he was to become one himself.

Since obviously his father didn't say "if you are to become one
yourself", you'll need to reword this a little.

Then, he fainted.

Try "so, he fainted."


---
Ronny Hedin, thark@hem2.passagen.se, http://nabiki.newberry.edu/thark/
        "So, they aren't extraterrestials?"
        "Nope, they're manga characters who've lost their hair."
        (the unexpected end of X-files)