Very good story.  A number of formating issues as I've marked below but part
way through I figured it must be due to something happening in the posting
since they tened to be the same erroes over and over again.  I'm suprised at
a few things though like how did Sylia know who John was when his wife died?
Also taking off he mask was not something I would expect her to do.  Was it
since Holly had worked with Sylia's father?

Also I'm assuming that Priss is out of her suit once she is injured as I
doubt John could cary he in the suit.  I'm gusing they destroyed it as
leaving the remains of the suit around would not be pretty smart.

Various comments follow:

John McClain looked out the window of the DC-10 making its way to
Tokyo.  A mixture of boredom and apprehension played on his face.  He
still hated flying, but forced himself to endure it.  Holly had gotten a
job working for a new company called Bradley Inc.  They were flying her to
the Tokyo branch so she could make several business presentations to the
board on New Years day.

True to Japanese logic, the best time to propose something new and
earth shattering would be on the eve of a new decade.  A decade that would
also see the completion of the world's largest skyscraper that was said to
be fortified sufficiently to withstand d even the great Kanto earthquake.

He thought back to that phone call and wondered how she'd managed
to talk him into it.  "Yeah."  John said.
"John?"  His wife Holly, said.

I think it would have made more sense when talking about Holly in the first
paragraph to say she was his wife because at first I was going "So why is he
flying out to see her?  Wife, Girlfriend??" (Ok, so it took me this far to
figure the Die Hard cross over.  I'm dense sometimes <G>)...

"This is Captain St. Claire.  On behalf of British Airways International,
I'd like to welcome you to the Narita International Airport. We hope
you've had a pleasant flight and that you'll choose e to fly with us again.

You have an 'e' all by itself in that line...

The local time is six o'clock. The weather in Tokyo is a brisk zero
degrees centigrade, and there is a slight chance of snow this afternoon .
. ."
The speech already boring him, McClain tuned it out and looked to
his right through the small window. The landscape of Japan rolled into

I've noticed up to this point some inconsistent indentation and spacing
between paragraphs.  Some paragraphs are justified left, ome with single
space indenting, some with and some without spacing between.  It tends to
make reading a little awkard at times.

brief queasiness he always felt when a pla ne started its descent. A
gargantuan skyscraper, currently under construction, caught his attention.

Plane has a space in the middle of it.

Why is it, John thought, that I always manage to sit next to the
yakkers?

Earlier you were putting what the characters though within aspostries like:
'Why is it,' John though, '....' and now you seemed to stop and change the
format.

The trucks hung tightly together, moving slowly, like soldiers marching.
Rising over the skyline, the lead driver could d see the dark figure of the

Extra d in the middle of the line...

main gate, a roadblock with a stop sign dropped down and a security guard
walked out to meet the trucks.
"Yeah, we got a delivery to make."  The driver said in a harsh
accent to the bored security guard.

You do not have the guard asking anything (Unless it is implied) and the
drive is starting out with "Yeah," like he is answering a question....

back of the truck opened up and two men ste pped out dressed in Sumotori
security uniforms.  They picked the dead guard up by the shoulders and

Stepped has a space stuck in it.

legs and slung him like a sack of potatoes into the guard shack.  One of
the 'guards' knelt down and pulled the knife from the unfortunates' throat
and he neatly wiped the blood on the dead guards pants.

You have unballanced '' in that sentance.

the view of the lush interior of the buil ding.  One of the men, a tall
blond, who looked like he was of Swedish descent, tapped on the glass

Anoth space in the middle of building. Looks like something reformated a few
things in posting this as this seems to be a repeating problem.

technician imagined he could hear the polymers
and myomers straining to carry the ton crate.

It may be a bit clear if you used something like "carry the one ton crate."
As it is it seems ton is not describing the weight of the creat but the
appearance to me.

follow and was lost in fuzziness that liquid d oxygen helped conceal.

Extra d on that line....

setting up.  The technician thought the whole alien structure had a
disturbingly org anic feel to it.

organic has a space in the middle of it.....

vigilant!" The naturally bubbly redhead said, ch eering herself up.

Cheering has a space in it.  Definatly looks like when this was poseted all
hyphens got converted to spaced when wraping a word across two lines.  That
would also explan some of the other formating.

had put a quick stop to it, however, wh en Leon had autofired thirty into

"I even hear the Americans are sending there forces from Yokuska."
The sergeant said, wearily.

Sending their forces.....