On 23 Aug 98 at 8:17, Tempest- wrote:

"Not every fairy tale has an happy ending."

And a sad ending may have been what this fic needed. You had a very

good

buildup, but the ending was a let down. Look, I wanted Belldandy to

live as

much as you do, but the way you went about it was... disappointing.

it

lacked the emotional impact.
Unless you can rewrite the ending for better impact, you may have to

let

Belldandy die.
Looking forward to reading the completed version of this fic.

	Perhaps a bit more strife in the end, but killing Belldandy... seems a
bit excessive.  Note: Killing Belldandy pales in comparison to keeping
her alive, but separating her from Keiichi.  There are other ways to
make an unhappy ending than killing the protagonist.

True, but the entire focus of this particular 'fic seemed to be that 
Belldandy was going to die. She even started walking down the aisle 
with Death (literally) when Verthandi showed up, exclaimed "We seem to 
have made a mistake!" and *poof*, everything was right with the world 
again.

I think it's that all-too-sudden right turn at the end that's throwing 
people for a loop. I admit to not wanting to see Belldandy die, but the 
ending seemed a bit rushed, as if the author suddenly changed his mind 
near the end (I'll kill her. Yep, she's gonna die. She made a 
mistake, and she's going to pay the ultimate penalty for it. She's 
gonna.... waittaminute. Nah, she ain't gonna die.)


Derek