On Mon, 24 Aug 1998, Scott Pollert wrote:

At 12:16 PM 8/24/98 -0500, Ranma Al'Thor wrote:

to r.a.a.c. Well hey, there's a well read story all right! But you are
denying yourself the kind of C&C that this list was made for. The kind that

But which it rarely provides.  Unless there's a LOT of privately sent C&C
going on, a lot of stories seem to get no comments at all, or maybe one
lone comment.  Part of this is simply the sheer volume of stories that
comes through, but a vast majority of the people on this list never
comment on anything, as far as I can tell. 

Have you ever considered the possibility that reader's are maybe a little
intimidated by either the length of a fic or even the author's name when
they consider offering C&C?

Yes.  But then, what is the point of having a pre-reading list at all if
everyone's going to be intimidated?  I fully recognize there are a lot of
long stories, and that my own stories tend to be long.  But that doesn't
change the fact that if there are 900 people on this list, most of them
are not offering C&C unless they're all sending it by private email.  Be
it short fic or long fic.  And lots of people get no comments at all.
 

through.) Taking your fics as an example, Mr. Biles, (er, how do you wish
to be politely addressed by a stranger over email? I never have figured out

Just call me John.  I'm not old enough to insist people use my last name
only :)

the proper netiquite for that.) looking in my mailbox I see Dance of Shiva
chapter 9, Furinkan Summer 6 and 7, and FS 8 and 9 which clock in at 42,
97, and 110 kb respectively. I think it would be a little unreasonable to
expect detailed, line for line analysis of fics of this size (though

Yes, but I don't usually even get a brief list of major problems.  Or even
a 'I liked it'.  Or even 'I saw it'.  I don't even get hate mail :)  

receiving 900+ such replies would be... interesting). So instead we're left
with a shorter, simpler reply, which brings up a crucial question:

	How do I summarize an 110 kb fanfic into a handful of paragraphs and make
it meaningful C&C?

Point out the major problems.  The plot's usually harder to fix than
spelling and grammar problems, but major holes in the plot, bad
characterization, etc, can be pointed out fairly quickly.  

=====
DoS ch 9
I liked it, for starters. Specific comments though... Priss in a Sailor
uniform is always funny, provided you're out of firing range. Mihoshi as
Leon's partner was also good. One little comment though, and this may be
more from memory of reading the first drafts off your web page than this
chapter in particular, but have you thought of dropping the little tag
lines at the close of scenes? While a number of times I remember them being
funny, in some cases they're extraneous, in others they're simply annoying,
and a few times they pretty much give away parts of the plot.

I've removed some of those.  Others not.  I always have problems with
ending scenes in prose without putting in something to soothe my sense of
transition.  This doesn't happen to me in scripts, just prose.  Not sure
why.  

 > FS 6&7

Hmm... These probably weren't two of the better chapters of FS in my
opinion. Mostly because, like another poster mentioned, they were a little
*too* silly. While I usually enjoy silliness, there's an undercurrent of
darkness here that I dislike. Maybe it's just me, but the whole 'locking
Ranma into cursed form' isn't something I consider silly. You've taken away

I do.  Ultimately, I consider that the constant insanity that the Ranma
cast goes through HAS to make them somewhat blase with regard to more
weirdness, especially since many of them are used to turning to cats,
ducks, etc.  Do we ever see Shampoo or Mousse experience any real
psychological stress from their curses?  Does Ranma even take any real
long term effort to find a cure for his curse?  No.  

To Ranma, this is another short-term burst of aggravation, just like the
others.  Yes, he does want his body back.  He wants his skills back.  But
he doesn't stay Davey-Jones long enough for him to really start worrying
about it.  He focuses on what he has to do to get his regular body back,
because Ranma is action oriented and not introspective as a character.
And the others are fairly used to people turning into odd things.  If this
was a permanent thing, it would be different, but it gets fixed fairly
quickly (Only to be replaced by other problems).  

Now, if Ranma had been stuck as a woman, it would be somewhat different,
but he's sufficiently relieved to be male all the time again that the
flaws don't manifest immediately and he's able to mostly deny them and
focus on other things (ie, how to fix this).

FS 8&9
These two chapters were better than the last two. By toning down the
silliness a notch, you made the chapter more palatable. I am curious as to
why you've chosen to make FS a spoofish fic more in the tone of "The
Nameless Sequel" by Mike Loader than the silly, yet serious tone of
"Putting Your Heart in the Right Place". I think that's why I had trouble
swallowing the last two chapters as well. 

I suppose some of it is that much of my other fiction has been fairly
serious of late and my innate silliness then explodes here.  Some of it is
also that the story becomes progressively darker as you move from 6 to 14
as Desire's plans unfold.  (I've written through 13 and 14 is mostly
finished now)

And some of it is simply that I dislike excessively serious Ranma fanfics
most of the time.  Ultimately, Ranma 1/2 is a rather farcical comedy, and
while you CAN make it serious, the characters appear more and more
dysfunctional the more serious a tone you take unless you change them.
This is not intended to start a 'Should there be Serious Ranma fics' flame
war.  It reflects my personal tastes.  (I have read fairly serious Ranma
fanfics I liked; I have written a few with fairly serious elements; But my
own liking tends to run to comedy oriented Ranma fanfics)

Oh well, there's my feeble attempt at C&C on two great stories. Hope this
helps.

Actually, I'd say that was very good C&C.  I rarely get a lot of comments
which fundmentally challenge some aspect of what I'm doing without being a
'I hate you' letter.  I hope this gives you a better idea of what I
was thinking when I wrote these.  Thank you very much for your time.  

 > =====

Now for the other problem I mentioned earlier, that of being intimidated by
an author's name. Maybe I simply lack chutzpah, but I find it hard to be
critical of a well-written author when I myself have produced so little.

Well, I hadn't written more than three chapters of Right Place the first
time I told an author they stunk :)  However, it probably helped that the
same person had posted a post to RAAS in which they informed all of us
that WE stunk and that she was going to show us the RIGHT way to do
fanfics.  

However, I'm in academia, and they train us to attack all other people in
the same field with verbal knives, which helps.  

How am I, Scott Pollert, author of no more than a half-dozen spamfics, none
of which were over 10k, suppose to criticize someone like *John Biles*,

Like you did up above!  I may have written a lot, but I'm not good at
giving insightful comments.  I didn't agree with some of what you wrote,
but it all showed solid thought about what I had written, and it was a lot
better done C&C than I know I've provided for some stories.  

who's written such well-known, liked, and *long* fics as Dance of Shiva,
Sailormoon Z, and PYHinRP/Furinkan Summer? (And don't let them fool you,
size *does* count! ;) I can't be the only one who is hesitant to criticize
an author for this reason, can I?

Well, length has nothing to do with quality. I can think of a few authors
whose work I really don't like who have produced HUGE amounts of work.  I
just can't help myself; every time I try to write a short story, it turns
into an epic.  

 

Finally, I sincerely hope no one takes any offense at this. The above

paragraph should assure you that I am very much in awe of and jealous of
the writing ability many of the author's here possess. 

I take no offence.  I didn't realize I was particularly scary, though. 
Thanks for commenting!

John Walter Biles :  MA-History, Ph.D Wannabe at U. Kansas         
ranma@falcon.cc.ukans.edu       
rhea@tass.org              http://www.tass.org/~rhea/falcon.html
rhea@maison-otaku.net      http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/

"Life's like a movie; write your own ending"--Kermit the Frog, 'The Muppet
Movie'