Once upon a time Nephilim shaped the electrons to say...
Noted hallmarks of bad fanfiction:
Two very basic things that always set me on edge:
1. Bad formatting. Simple as that, lines like this one I'm doing deliberately that are longer than 80 columns
or that have
seemingly random line wrapping. It makes it a bitch to read, and what it
does for me is make me think "If the author couldn't take the time to do
something as simple as format the text, I bet they didn't take the time to
write a good story."
Like it or not, the way your work appears - the formatting - is the first
impression a reader gets. Before they even register the shapes of words, the
overall shape of the text on the page hits their brain.
2. Script formats. While I have seen some very good work done asa script,
for me they are usually a hallmark of bad stories. It seems to be a way
for authors who aren't good at building a scene to duck that and dump it
all into stage direction blocks.
Sally: *sniffle*
[Sally wipes her nose. John moves up behind Sally. He puts his hand on her
shoulder. He leans in close to her ear.]
John: It's ok.
[Sally turns and embraces him. John returns the embrace. Sally begins
to sob.]
Sally choked back tears, wiping at her nose with the back of her
hand. Quietly John stepped closer to her, resting his hand gently on her
shoulder to calm her.
"It's ok," he whispered softly into her ear.
Sally spun around, wrapping her arms around John in a desperate
embrace, which was quickly returned. His chest muffled the sounds of her
sobs.
Ok, so it is cheese - it is 6AM, I should have been asleep hours ago, and
I spent this weekend moving furniture and a mountain of boxes full of books.
I'm completely burnt.
BUt I did it to (hopefully, likely in the morning I'll cringe when I
remember doing this) illustrate the lack of depth in the script format.
A script is meant for actors to play - it is their acting that brings out
the nuance and adds the spark of life. You push that work onto the reader,
they have to build the story in their minds, doing the hard would. Scripts
tend to lack real narrative.
For me the real work in telling a story is writing the narative - building
the imagery with words. I can picture characters doing things in my head
very easily. Doing a script that just desribes what they do is easy - but
hollow. Putting together the words that hopefully convey the emotional
impact of a scene is the hard part.
Inconsistent confusion of the word "their" and its homonyms. I know some of
I do this when tired. Mainly I mess up its/it's quite a bit. This is
where writing in a group, proofreading, and/or having editors help. I also
strongly recommend spell-checking.
Any fic containing "1/2", "Muyo", "Neon", etc. in the title. There are a
few notable exceptions, mostly done by well-known authors. Exceptions
And try not to take a pun too far - Neon Leviticus Evangelion anyone?
(I hope that isn't a real fic - I just made it up as an example.)
(Again, many apologies to the exceptions) Catchy titles are great, but
"Blah 1/2" has been done to death.
I think "1/2" was done to death in the SOURCE material, IMHO. ;-)
Fics done by people with K-Rad (Is that still the word?) nicknames. (I know
I'm guilty here, sue me... it's a biblical reference) I don't think this
Hey, do I get grandfathered in?
For those who don't know, I do use MegaZone in daily life. Lots of
memberships, my office is so labeled, etc. Find a copy of the Osborne/
McGraw-Hill "HTML: The Complete Reference". In the credits in the front
you'll find "MegaZone" under Technical Editor. ;-)
Of course, I'm an old fogey by Internet standards. :-)
LONG fics that rehash the entire life histories of every character, lesser
Some long fics are really good. Now, I -=SUCK=- with names. I frustrate
my own co-authors by constantly forgetting character or chapter/episode
names. So I can't recall the stories, but back when I was moderating the
group some of the long, ongoing stories were really well done. The important
part is knowing how to pace things. You need a good deal of arc control -
you need some short arcs, say in that episode, that provide immediate
entertainment. Medium arcs that tie a few episodes together and provide
more character development then you can do in one episode. And then your
long, over-arcing arcs that provide the backbone to the story.
-MZ