Subject: [FFML] Reviews List for the week of August 14, 1998 (Part 2)
From: "Shunsuke" <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
Date: 8/24/1998, 7:57 PM
To: ffml@fanfic.com

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                   The FFML Reviews List
                   =====================
Part 2


- - - - -
Title: "May I Have This Dance?"
Genre: Short - Cute
Author: Michael C. Won
Email: skeezy5@geocities.com

Date Sent to FFML: August 11, 1998
Size: 18k

Summary:

A small idea that evolved from a conversation on the Ranma ML.  Ranma,
Tofu, Kasumi, and Akane as the groom, bride, best man, and maid of
honor, but not neccessarily in that order.  (Now there's an idea for a
fic...)

{Paul}
   I somehow knew this wouldn't be a Ranma-Akane wedding... either I'm
   subconsciously denying that can happen or I've come to expect
   seperate but equal plotlines from you. I hope it's the latter. The
   first three scenes' somewhat vague nature sort of clued me in to the
   building dramatic irony, but it was nice to be SURE. Very, very
   interesting scene at the reception. Very interesting... and, come to
   think of it, a perfect excuse for Ranma's usual gang of admirers not
   to be around. After all, it's only Tofu and Kasumi...

   Again, a very well-written fic, like the other ones I've come to
   expect from you. Are you sure you and Lawson-sempai haven't met
   before? The styles are rather similar, I'll grant... and this
   particular opus merits about 17 or 18 out of 20.

{Shunsuke}
   You can keep the audience guessing only so long before they figure
   it out.  The question is, when they do is it before you intended
   them to?  In this case, the answer is yes.  I liked the WAFFiness,
   but I didn't really buy the idea of Ranma being so dense about
   Akane wanting to dance.  Or maybe it's just me. ^_^

   At least the author didn't overdo it (like Lawson in TIL) by using
   that damned Anne Murray song. <*shudder*>

- - - - -
Title: Moment
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: WAFFy fic
Author: Jiro Maeda
Email: hiryu@tri-isys.com

Homepage: none

Summary:

My take on how Ranma and Akane finally express their real feelings, no
fights no fiancees ,no saving from bad guys...just a peaceful moment
of reflection

{Shunsuke}
  The WAFFiness wasn't a problem here, but the jumping from one POV to
  another was distracting.  There really isn't much to this fic, and
  it probably would have worked better as a storyline in a songfic.
  Nice ideas, mediocre execution.

- - - - -
Title:  Monkey Head Butting Part 7
Series:  Ranma 1/2
Genre:  Comedy/Original Flavor
Author:  M A Davis / Miko
Email:  nausicaa@sprynet.com

Homepage:  http://listen.to/bell/

Date Sent to FFML: Thursday, August 13, 1998 8:39 PM
Size:  51kb

Summary:

It's the big fight between Mousse and Ranma!  Only Ranma's in Kasumi's
body, and Kasumi is... well, she _was_ in Ranma's body, but now she
and Akane have also switched.  Yes, it's very confusing.  Can Akane,
as Ranma, defeat Mousse?  Does s/he even want to fight?  Does s/he
have a choice?  Will Nabiki strike it rich, or suffer the greatest
monetary loss of her life?  Can she figure out what's causing the
switches, or will Cologne beat her to it?  And what about that cooking
challenge between Happosai and Ranma, anyway?
Can the author possibly get through this without thoroughly confusing
himself, let alone the reader?  ^_^

{Paul}
   Well, perhaps you should have introduced a way of coping with the
   name problems in part 1. A bit late for that now, isn't it? Hmm...
   let's see here... I've seen the idea done a few times, even if it
   HAS taken you six chapters to end up with Ranma and Akane in each
   others' bodies. The "switch at will" power Nabiki possesses has a
   heck of a lot of potential... and the fight scene approached
   PERFECTION, as did the comments from the outside. This is actually
   one of the few fanfics out there which could be translated into
   manga with little loss of tone from the original... and it doesn't
   hurt any that the story is both concise and developing subplots at
   a rapid rate.  18 or 19 of 20... this thing is GOOD.

- - - - -
Title: A New Life
Series: Ranma
Genre: Dark
Author: Ryan Erik
Email: ryanerik59@hotmail.com

Homepage:

Date Sent to FFML: August 9th, 1998
Size: 140k

Summary:

In the sequel to "Vengeance," Ranma wakes up from a coma after nearly
two decades. Surrounded by strangers and very far away from home, she
has to learn to deal with her current situation, but the conditions of
her stay don't help things much. The emotional trauma that accompanied
her survival of the near fatal accident are much worse than any
physical injury that could have been done to her. Will she pull
through and create herself a new life?

{Shunsuke}
   Parts of this work well and other parts need a big injection of
   help.  The concept, the gradual course of events and their
   description all work together to build the story.  But at times the
   execution just didn't do it; the gaps in time with no explanation,
   the regular-as-clockwork grammatical errors, and the wording can be
   too much to take at times.  With a rewrite and a good prereader,
   this could work.

- - - - -
Title: No Need For Fiancee's (Part 1)
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: "What if?"
Author: Carly aka Akane-chan
Email: carly-san@geocities.com

Homepage: http://carly-san.animecity.ml.org/

Date Sent to FFML: August 13 1998

Summary:

One of those "what-if" stories.  What if Ranma got rid of Genma while
on the way to the Tendou's for the first time.  Honor still bound him
to show up at the Tendou's house, just not with his father.  Ranma
really needs a friend rather than a fiancee so decided to stay in his
girl form (much to his disgust) so he can be friends with Akane, and
find out what the rest fo Tendou's are like, to see if he wants to
marry any of them.

{Paul}
   Now this... is interesting. Opossum-ken at work. And what seems to
   be a slightly more intelligent Ranma as well, but that's to be
   expected. One wonders when the other shoe will drop, but this is a
   very nice set up. Let's hope it doesn't peter out halfway. 8 of 10
   on the short scale.

- - - - -
Title: Shampoo 1/2 Chapter 33: You Are Cordially Invited to the Wedding of
       Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternate Universe
Author: D.B. Sommer
Email: sommer@nb.net

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/~azatlan/Special-Series/shampoo.html

Size: 125k

Summary:

It's the wedding day of Ranma Saotome and Akane Tendo, but there are
several people that might want to put a stop to that. Also the Hunt
Pack finally arrives in Japan as Shampoo is about to run out of time.

{Paul}
   It never rains but it pours. Neriman weather, being what it is, has
   changed this to "It never rains but it floods". Everything...
   happens... at ONCE. In the temporal and not ideological sense... see
   above. The events themselves were rather crammed, but their pacing
   in the story was excellent. Ranma overloads, Akane finds herself
   destitute, Tarou finds out that Ranma doesn't have half the perception
   he was credited for, Shampoo finally actually SAYS something and is
   finally tracked down... can we say cliffhanger? Goood. This is
   definitely one of the premier alternate worlds... 18 or 19 out of 20
   for this particular installment.

- - - - -
Title: Shattered, part 1?
Series: Ranma
Genre: Alternaverse
Author: Brian ?_?
Email: brian_kun@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Shrine/6648

Date Sent to FFML: August 14
Size: 11k or so

Summary:

Kodachi and Tatewaki's parents both die in a tragic accident seven
years before the start of the series.  They are taken in by the
Tendos.

{Paul}
   Now this... was interesting. Kodachi and Tatewaki, minus insanity
   in some portion, added to the household... This is very well dealt
   with. Not as extreme a change as "Loveletters from the Edge", but
   a change nonetheless...in personality, at least. A nice teaser,
   handily worth 8 or 9 of 10 on the short scale.

- - - - -
Title: Someday Never Comes -- untitled chapter
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Next Generatin
Author: David Homerick
Email: dhomeric@jps.net

Date Sent to FFML:  Mon Aug 10
Size: 8 KB

Summary:

A short (but necessary) chapter featuring Kenshiro Tendo and Ryoshi
and Shimi Hibiki.  Primarily here to give the reader a feel for who
these people are.  This will probably become chapter 5 in the
storyline, with "Dock of the Bay" becoming 6.  Yes, I know it's more
setup.

{Paul}
   Hmm. Nice setup, seemed unnecessary, but then I don't know where
   you're going with this. An interesting scene, a bit more
   introspection and conversation to define the characters... 8 of 10
   on the short scale.

- - - - -
Title: Ukyo and Konatsu Write a Fanfic
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Spamfic/Parody
Author: Razorclaw X
Email: spiceoflife@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/anaheim/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html

Date Sent to FFML: 8/7/98
Size: 1kb

Summary:

Ukyo and Konatsu get involved in the latest FFML craze.

{Paul}
   *piku* Oh god. BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! To be honest, this might make a
   nice .sig. 10 out of 10, simply for humor.

{Shunsuke}
   It sounds like the author is telling those of us who wrote these
   spamfics (myself included) to shut up.  Point taken. ^_^

- - - - -
Title: What Was Never Meant To Be
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Altiverse
Author: Wesley Bridges
Email: dragdawn@geocities.com

Homepage: Currently Unavailable

Date Sent to FFML: circa 8/14/98
Size: 5.76K

Summary:

Nodoka recieves a letter that states that she and the late Mrs.  Tendo
are sisters and that makes Ranma and Akane cousins. Ranma and Akane
cope as the families scurry to find new fiancees for them.

{Paul}
   Niiiiiice. Very well played-out, not expressly contradicted... and
   Genma and Soun are oblivious enough to realize that they didn't
   marry sisters. Or perhaps they just willfully ignored that fact
   and hoped it would never come up. But this stops RIGHT WHERE THEY
   FIND OUT! I understand perfectly the value of a good cliffhanger...
   but you'd better have the next part SOON. 7 or 8 of 10 on the short
   scale.

- - - - -
Title: Wheel of Fire #6: The Law of Amazons
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation
Author: Razorclaw X
Email: spiceoflife@hotmail.com

Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/anaheim/~slythe/ranma/ranff.html

Date Sent to FFML: 8/12/98
Size: 70kb

Summary:

Shampoo kidnaps Ranma and takes him back to China to be properly-wed,
with Akane and the others close behind. After all, three-thousand
years of Chinese Amazon tradition is at stake! And, Kuno finally
reveals his new, ultimate power... Ranma, look out!

{Paul}
   Hmm. This would actually work a bit better in script form, if you
   ask me. There are a few problems with tense and wording scattered
   throughout... and the fight scene and a few of the other scenes in
   the story seem as through the characters are working from badly
   dubbed and overly dramatic scripts. The story itself is turning out
   to be rather interesting, but the presentation is almost painfully
   trite in places. 12 or 13 out of 20.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Dune]

- - - - -
Title: God Emperor 1/2 - Parts 1-4
Series: God Emperor 1/2
Genre: X-Over, Ranma and Dune
Author: Michael C. Won
Email: skeezy5@geocities.com

Date Sent to FFML: August 12, 1998
Size: 25k, 24k, 22k, 14k

Summary:

A X-Over using the world of Dune and the characters of Ranma.  Ranma
as the God Emperor and Ryouga as Duncan Idaho.  Not much more to say,
I suppose.  Helps to have read God Emperor of Dune, but it seems some
people are enjoying it w/o knowledge of GE.

{Shunsuke}
   Knowing any Dune stories would definitely help, and I always found
   Frank Herbert pompous and boring.  This story was definitely hard
   to take from that point of view; unless you're already a fan, it's
   rough going.

   Having said that, the ability and style of the writer are up to his
   usual standards; if there's a Rookie of the Year vote for fanfic
   writers, Skeezy gets mine.  If the topic matter was anything else,
   I would have enjoyed this.

* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2 / Journey to the Centre of the Earth]

- - - - -
Title: The Journey - 1
Series: Ranma / Jules Verne
Genre: Bizarre
Author: Angus MacSpon
Email: macspon@ihug.co.nz

Homepage: http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/fanfic/index.html

Date Sent to FFML: 9 August 1998
Size: 12K

Summary:

The Nerima gang discover a mysterious parchment and embark on a
Journey to the Centre of the Earth.

{Paul}
   This is... shall we say... INSANE? Delightfully batty... humor and
   running gags tied together by a semblance of a plot. Hey, if it
   works for Animaniacs... 7 or 8 of 10 on the humor scale.

- - - - -
Title: The Journey - 2
Series: Ranma / Jules Verne / Others
Genre: Bizarre
Author: Angus MacSpon
Email: macspon@ihug.co.nz

Homepage: http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/fanfic/index.html

Date Sent to FFML: 10 August 1998
Size: 15K

Summary:

The gang reach a strangely-familiar jumping-off point for their
journey, but end up getting a little side-tracked.  All right, a LOT
side-tracked.

{Paul}
[See part 1 above for the review.]

* * * * *
[Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger]

- - - - -
Title: Sailor Trigger, pt.2: the Day of Dread
Series: Sailor Moon/Chrono Trigger
Genre: Crossover
Author: Koban Hiryuuno
Email: kobanh@yahoo.com

Date Sent to FFML: 8/4/98
Size: 15kb

Summary:

The second part in the Sailor Trigger series continues the story of
the Sailor Senshi teaming up with the Time Travelers from Chrono
Trigger to defeat Lavos. Along the way, Serena's Cutie Moon Rod is
destroyed, and Spekkio grants her Moon magic. Also contains characters
from the upcoming original series, "Red Dragons."

{Paul}
   Hmm... I'm detecting a little bit of Sailor-bashing here. Perhaps
   if Serena manages to toast Yakra however-manyth with the Scepter
   and gets a tad overconfident... but, as it is, the portrayal is
   completely without redeeming qualities. And the characters are
   getting along just a bit too well after their intial encounter...
   which I STILL wonder at. I'd like to see a lot more interaction
   between the characters... and perhaps a little less nigh-omnipotence
   on the part of the newcomers. And if Lavos is coming to destroy the
   world, whyingodsname aren't these people PRACTICING? There is just
   far too much that doesn't make sense here... 9 or 10 out of 20. The
   prose was clean, the plot I desperately want to get into... but I
   couldn't overcome the above hurdles.

* * * * *
[Tenchi Muyou!]

- - - - -
Title: Legacy of Tears Update (includes parts 2 & 3)
Series: Tenchi Muyo-Based
Genre:Drama/Romance
Author: Trakal
Email: Trakal@map.com

Homepage: <being edited>

Date Sent to FFML: Aug 12, 1998

Summary:

Shiasta tries to enjoy a quiet day at home while her mom & siblings go
shopping.

{Shunsuke}
   This author's writing at times reads like "John Steinbeck writes
   sci-fi".  There's a nice 'timepiece' feel to the words and pacing,
   an attempt to suck every bit of emotion out onto the page.  Okay,
   Trakal only writes TM! stuff; I'd rather read good TM! than poorly
   done stories about other series.

   Just make these things longer, will ya? ^_^

* * * * *
[Yuu Yuu Hakusho]

- - - - -
Title: Ani-chan in Futureland
Series: Yuu Yuu Hakusho
Genre: Parody, kinda dark
Author: Blade
Email: ayiekie@hotmail.com

Homepage: www.wizard.net/~deva/fanfics.htm

Date Sent to FFML: July 27th

Summary:

Toguro Ani escapes from the plant that's been containing him for about
a hundred years.  He promptly goes off to kill all of the remaining
YYH cast, and fails miserably, since his fighting skills have gotten a
tad rusty with disuse.  Lots of dark, sick humour abounds. ;p

{Shunsuke}
   This is the work of a sick mind.

   As I read, I couldn't help but think this was "Terminator 2 meets
   _Blazing Saddles_".  Ani was a perfect mix of Hedley Lamarr and the
   T-1000, what with the maniacal laugh, mindless killing, and endless
   plotting.  The jokes were ludicrous, the violence absolutely
   pointless and excessive...I like it.

   The semi-script style was a little unusual and hard to get used to.
   It reads easily enough, but it's not something you normally see.
   The plot is rather simplistic, "kill, maim, and kill some more
   with no fathomable reason other than revenge", and the ending is
   very reminiscent of the the fight scene at the end of _BS_; if
   you know the movie, you'll know what I'm talking about.  I'm left
   halfway between saying "More!" and "Don't you dare!"

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

End of the FFML Reviews List for the week of: August 14, 1998



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