Hello to all,
If you have any comments, questions or criticisms of the weeks reviews,
*please* address them to the person who wrote the review, the name given
in soft parentheses. {} Thanks in advance.
{Shunsuke}
This is being sent in two parts because my mail program won't allow it
(over 32K) and the FFML server is rejecting it as an attachment. (This
is the fourth time since this morning I've attempted to post it, so my
apologies if the previous attempts somehow get through.)
Collectively,
Paul <arezina@acad1.stvincent.edu>
Helen <Helen@eiw-ca.com>
Shunsuke <shunsuke@mailcity.com>
------------------------------------------------------------------------
The FFML Reviews List
=====================
Part 1
For the week of: August 14, 1998
Synopses Submitted: 29
* * * * *
[Dragonball/Ranma 1/2]
- - - - -
Title: Dragon Ball R1/2
Series: Ranma 1/2, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Crossover
Author: Donny Cheng
Email: chengdo@shaw.wave.ca
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Ginza/4537
Date Sent to FFML: August 16, 1998
Summary:
Mr. Satan has a new student... or not.
{Paul}
Now this... this is one of the few plausible crossovers out there...
if one can ignore the slight technological gap between the two
crossed universes. One wonders what will happen when Ranma and the
line of Son Goku cross paths...
The story is good, and the fight scene is rather nicely done,
especially in light of the fact that most of the Dragonball warriors
can carve up planets with a stray blast. It'll be interesting to see
what happens when the "flavored" ki of the Ranmaverse touches with
the raw power Goku and his gang of fools seem to command. Quite a bit
of foreshadowing, some less obvious than the rest... but the
occasional awkward sentence, particularly as the plot starts racing
along, is hardly welcome. Hopefully, this will be corrected as
suggested... but until it is, I can give it only 13 or 14 out of 20.
* * * * *
[Dragonball/Yuu Yuu Hakusho]
- - - - -
Title: Kaleidoscope - Parts 1 and 2
Series: Yu Yu Hakusho/ Dragonball
Genre: crossover
Author: Rhionae
Email: rhionae@hotmail.com
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Island/3226/fanfics.htm
Date Sent to FFML: 10/8
Size: 11kb, 11kb
Summary:
Goten and Trunks have landed up in the YYH world - which leads to
trouble as there's a powerful youkai on the loose... Sequel to
Allegiance. Warning: contains yaoi themes, so if you don't like -
don't read!
{Shunsuke}
I haven't read Allegiance, so I could be at a loss here, but it
didn't feel like it. The story reads quickly, it's sharp, and has
a lot with little wasted words. Then again, a little more ambience
and descriptions would give it more flavor.
I know very little about Dragonball, but IIRC Goten wasn't gay in
that series, so the kiss was a surprise - in a good way. ^_^
* * * * *
[Evangelion]
- - - - -
Title: Neon Genesis Evangelion: Other Paths - Prologue
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Action/Drama
Author: James Grabowski
Email: sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius
Date Sent to FFML: August 13, 1998
Size: 34K
Summary:
The day of the Unit Zero reactivation experiment is at hand. Everyone
has their own concerns, expectations, and agendas about the
experiment. However, total failure was not expected. With the end
result being a severe injury to the Sub-Commander of NERV, and a near
fatal experience for the pilot of Unit Zero, it becomes imperative
that a new pilot be found to activate the dormant Unit One, the Third
Child. The reason unknown to the child, he is summoned to Tokyo-3 by
his father. He chooses to obey, never imagining this kind of fate
awaiting him.
{Shunsuke}
In his notes the author describes this as a character exploration,
and upon first reading it does a lot to fill in the holes of who
does what and why. The attempt to stick with the original EVA
storyline is consistent, and though some details are created by the
author, they still fit. I do have one comment for the author,
though: since character development is what you intend, you will
likely be dealing with sudden changes in the people, because as you
yourself note, events take place quickly, at least half the series
within the span of only three weeks. Any changes are likely not to
be gradual.
* * * * *
[Evangelion/MST3k]
Title: Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut - Fanfic/MST Part II: Chapter 1
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Fanfic/MST/C&C (combination) / Humour
Author: James Grabowski
Email: sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius
Date Sent to FFML: August 8, 1998
Size: 69K
Summary:
Different from the normal MST genre, this series takes on its own
internal plot. Features the C&C of the chacarters OWN personal
feelings, rather than those of the author. Featuring Rei Ayanami,
Asuka Langley Soryu, Shinji Ikari (the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Children
respectively), Hikari Horaki, Touji Suzuhara, and Kensuke Aida with
their own outtakes on Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut Chapter 1. Covers
the ENTIRE chapter. Continued from "Part I: Chapter 3.5".
{Shunsuke}
The commentary the author puts into the character's mouths is funny
for the most part, making it seem like every other comment is "he
says I said WHAT?". I really couldn't see where this was going (if
anywhere), and the hentai bits were too screwball to be hentai.
This is better than most MSTs I've seen, but given that I don't read
them normally, I can't be entirely accurate. Another big problem is
that I never read the original, so this is hard for me to follow at
times.
- - - - -
Title: Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut - Fanfic/MST Part III: Chapter 2
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Fanfic/MST/C&C (combination) / Humour
Author: James Grabowski
Email: sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius
Date Sent to FFML: August 9, 1998
Size: 86K
Summary:
Different from the normal MST genre, this series takes on its own
internal plot. Features the C&C of the chacarters OWN personal
feelings, rather than those of the author. Featuring Rei Ayanami,
Asuka Langley Soryu, Shinji Ikari (the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Children
respectively), Hikari Horaki, Touji Suzuhara, and Kensuke Aida with
their own outtakes on Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut Chapter 2. Covers
the ENTIRE chapter. Continued from "Part II: Chapter 1".
{Shunsuke}
[See Part II: chapter 1 above for review.]
- - - - -
Title: Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut - Fanfic/MST Part IV: Chapter 3
Series: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Fanfic/MST/C&C (combination) / Humour
Author: James Grabowski
Email: sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net
Homepage: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius
Date Sent to FFML: August 13, 1998
Size: 87K
Summary:
Different from the normal MST genre, this series takes on its own
internal plot. Features the C&C of the chacarters OWN personal
feelings, rather than those of the author. Featuring Rei Ayanami,
Asuka Langley Soryu, Shinji Ikari (the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Children
respectively), Hikari Horaki, Touji Suzuhara, and Kensuke Aida with
their own outtakes on Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut Chapter 3. Covers
the ENTIRE chapter. Continued from "Part III: Chapter 2".
{Shunsuke}
[See Part II: chapter 1 above for review.]
* * * * *
[La Blue Girl]
- - - - -
Title: Wandering Boy Bob, Luckless Shikima Episode 2: The Mister Happy Machine
Series: La Blue Girl (with lots of cameos and guest appearances)
Genre: Lemon, Crossover, Parody, New Characters, Unusual Events
Authors: Nikholas "SwitchRain" F. Toledo
Email: niftol@i-manila.com.ph
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/boybob.html
Date Sent to FFML: 1317H 09 Aug 98 (+0800H)
Size: 55 KB
Summary:
Bob travels the long and lonely road, desperate to prove himself
amongst his peers as he stumbles on - what else? Hiroe is distraught,
while Fubuki is frantically searching. Plus, how to make your own
ecchi movie, part one, a partial who's who and the episode's courtesy
fight sequence!
{Shunsuke}
You know, I was dreading having to do this one, I found LBG so
loathsome, yet this was very funny. Cameos done way too many times,
bad jokes, and somehow even a love story thrown in. Go figure.
As a silly romp, this works without degenerating into the kind of
rapentertainment of the original. I just pray that Oh My Goddess
doesn't get crossed into in a future part....
* * * * *
[Original]
- - - - -
Title: The Black Magic Project
Series: Original
Genre: Anime-based Science Fiction
Author: J. Austin Wilde
Email: wildeman@psn.net
Homepage: http://www.psn.net/~wildeman/
Date Sent to FFML: 14 August 1998
Size: 67K
Summary:
The first part of a sci-fi novel I started writing seven years ago,
now polished a bit and awaiting some good C&C so's I can get a
manuscript together for publication. An eccentric team of mercenaries
ends up in the middle of an intricate web of lies and subterfuge that
has been in motion for the last 800 years.
{Paul}
I can't fault the writing. As always, I'm seldom casting about
trying to fasten on to a mental picture of characters, setting, or
plot. I realize this is only the first few parts of the series...
but, as it is, it seems like so many other novels I've read, in
which a motley crew is assembled and goes forth to do whatever. Not
that that's a BAD thing, mind you... and this certainly differs in
setting from most of the other such stories I've read, but as it is...
To put it succinctly, what is so different about this? I'm hoping to
get an answer a couple chapters down the road. 17 or 18 out of 20,
because this is quite a good story... I just feel like I've heard it
before.
- - - - -
Title: Macho Caballo Chapter 27 - Something Grunty This Way Comes
Series: Macho Caballo
Genre: Humor/Drama/Original
Author: James Eades (James and the Bluejay)
Email: jeeades@ix.netcom.com
Homepage: http://www2.netcom.com/~jeeades/macho.htm
Date Sent to FFML: Aug 11 1998
Size: 46K
Summary:
Yucca tries to eliminate a rival, as part of Espuma's assault on the
Apache encampment. Espuma tries to eliminate an obstacle. Lucha
wants out of camp because of the ruckus caused by her engagement, and
Machita finds an answer to her dilemma - sort of.
{Paul}
Again, the description here is absolutely wonderful... I'm beginning
to see latent Tatewaki, Kodachi, and Gosunkugi personalities
developing... of course, such labels are more or less meaningless in
original fiction, but one must look to the inspiration, ne? Though I
must admit, I never thought anyone would prove themselves denser
than Kuno. Everyone got a bit of development here... except for
Lonesome. Hopefully, the next chapter will overlap with this one,
continuity-wise, and we can see exactly what Lonesome's reaction is
to having a wife... and if he hauls off and decks the mare after all
she's put him through. But, all in all, a very well-thought out and
well-written story. 18 or 19 out of 20.
* * * * *
[Ranma 1/2]
Title: Alternatives -- Chapter 7
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre:
Author: Mike Allen
Email: allenmk@gte.net
Homepage: http://home1.gte.net/allenmk
Date Sent to FFML: 08/13/98
Size: 34K
Summary:
Ranma jumps into the Spring of Drowned Twins. He finds that it is a
painful event. Some of the same day aftermath is presented.
{Paul}
Just when you thought it would turn out like "5 of a Kind"... PLOT
TWIST! Though one wonders why Happy didn't wince a bit when he got
a few drops from the spring splashed on him. The writing,
technically, is fine... and the story is certainly original and has
been told well so far... as far as I can tell. However...
It feels a little... well... blunt. The fic fluctuates between
third-person and third-person omniscient, giving a few characters
flashes they shouldn't be having. It seems like this is an outline
for a fic, rather than an actual fic... everything just sort of
happens and shifts - quite nicely, might I add - but there's very
little of anything else going on. Too much is happening at once...
it's almost as if the author has a list to work from and is ticking
off items as he goes. As such... 11 or 12 out of 20. It's an
interesting plotline, but it's being presented with all the grace
of an elephant.
{Shunsuke}
I reread part one again before reading this part, and I can say that
there is a marked improvement. This is much easier to read and far
more cohesive, plus the characterizations are well done. (I like
that the offhand comments are long gone. ^_^)
In an earlier review I made comment that the author would have
problems accounting with new Ranmas feelings, that alternate males
wouldn't love Ukyou, Shampoo and Kodachi, while the female wouldn't
handle being so. I take some of it back, that things are well done
and he has handled it well, but from my point of view I would have
seen things a little more emotional when onna-Ranma met Akane for
the first time. But that's just me. ^_^
- - - - -
Title: Birthdays - Itoshii
Series: Birthdays
Genre: Short - Bittersweet
Author: Michael Won
Email: skeezy5@geocities.com
Date Sent to FFML: August 13, 1998
Size: 10k
Summary:
A monologue by Tendo Soun, speaking to his wife.
{Paul}
Who gave Soun Prozac? Then again, the entire series thus far has
been written with the characters a lot less insane than they're
traditionally portrayed. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. This
fic is like all your others in that it casts a thread of narrative
into the mists, safely outside where canon would roam, and fills in
a bit here and a bit there... not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
Soun rambles a bit and swings from narration to narration as is his
wont, making for a somewhat disjoint piece... but he always comes
back to rest on what he and his wife had expected together. Not that
that's a bad thing, mind you. An interesting study into the mind of
Tendo Soun. 9 of 10 on the short scale.
Not that that's a bad thing, mind you.
{Shunsuke}
This one's a little WAFFier than the others (that was possible?),
and at times seemed a little too much. The background on the Tendo's
marriage while made up was certainly likeable and touching. It just
didn't do it for me like the others (esp. Ryouga), and I just can't
say why. <*shrug*> This isn't bad, it's just me....
- - - - -
Title: In My Life - A Whisper, A Hope (Episode 5)
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Alternative
Author: Florencio B. de la Merced, Jr.
Email: fmerced@pworld.net.ph
Homepage: http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Temple/3641/index.html
Date Sent to FFML: August 10, 1998
Size: 40 Kb
Summary:
Akane and Shampoo talks about so many trivial things...While Nabiki
invites her new friends over at the Furinkan's Blue Flames' office for
some interviews for the school paper. Mousse and Shinnosuke arrives at
the campus looking for Kasumi Tendo.
{Paul}
One wonders how a fic with nothing happening can convey the
impression that so much is happening... or, rather, that so much
has the potential to happen. It's odd, but I have this feeling that
something will happen, soon... something big, at least if the minds
of those it's happening to. This is a very interesting series, even
though this chapter only felt like so much marking time. 14 or 15
out of 20.
- - - - -
Title: The Insanity Continues Vol 4 Chap 1
Series: Ranma 1/2
Genre: Continuation, Original Flavor
Author: Lord Archive
Email: archive@mich.com
Homepage: www.mich.com/~archive/anime
Date Sent to FFML:
Size: 19 K
Summary:
It an atypical Monday. Normally that means not much happens. But not
this Monday.
{Paul}
Well, finally. Insanity indeed... this is actually turning out to
be a bit saner than one might expect. Principal Kuno actually seems
to be playing somewhat of a role in this particular series, which I
find quite surprising as he is often ignored. Mostly, this deals
with a bit more resolution from the week prior... it'll be interesting
to see where the story goes from here. 15 or 16 out of 20.
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