This was written a long time ago, and I don't think I ever posted it
here... I wanted to wait until I finished the epilogue, which was a lot of
fun to write once I actually got down to it. I'll post the epilogue in the
next mail...

This started out as a PWP (pwp = plot? what plot?) and it kinda grew from
there -- gee, my fics have a way of doing that. It's probably wildly
inaccurate and OOC. I hope not, but hey, it's not like the Gatch team had a
great deal of luck with permanent relationships in the show, so I'm
extrapolating as I go along... 

I've tried not to use unnecessary Japanese in the fic (after all, they are
all speaking the same language) but have used it when English doesn't seem
to fit right. Examples of this include the usage of 'chan', as well as
'aniki' instead of the colloquial 'bro' or 'brother.' I did, however, use
'sis' instead of oneechan, because that does work in English.. 

YAOI! ^_^;; This means it contains somewhat explicit (although not
terribly) male-male sex. Okay? 

Oh, and C&C, please, if you've seen Gatch or any incarnation thereof. ^^;; 

I See His Eyes: by Monica Shin

---
KEN
---

	"Do you really think that a safeword is necessary?"

	"Ken-love, I don't do any kind of tying down without one. Okay?"

	"All right, I suppose. It's just that I don't think that I'll be in any
danger. The word -- how about Nambu?"

	"Why Nambu? It is... well, a bit odd..."

	"Trust me. Nothing would get me to scream the Doctor's name unless I
wanted you to stop..."

	As the inane conversation dies down, I smile at him. I wonder while I do
so whether the slight trepidation I feel shows in my eyes. I've never done
this before, after all. I don't mean sex, of course, but this voluntary
giving up of my personal power to another. It goes against all of my
training as a soldier and a leader, where death is preferable to true
surrender. 

	I nod once, silently, and he puts the blindfold over my eyes. I
automatically keep track of his location from the bed by hearing him move
around in the room. As I feel the rope circle my wrists, I close my eyes
and try not to listen too closely. Surrendering is the whole point of this
particular game, after all, and like always, I'm going to do my best. I
don't want to ruin this, since I was the one who asked him... 

	I feel him pull gently at my wrists with the rope. I raise them over my
head, letting him secure them to one of the bars on my headboard. Lying
back, I try to concentrate on the feel of the cotton sheets and the
slightly lumpy mattress of my bed. Even while I try to distract myself from
what's happening, I can feel my heart start to beat just a little faster. 

	That is a little odd, since I am only feigning helplessness. I can break
myself free of the rope at any time -- it is a laughably easy task for a
member of the Science Ninja Team. But the rope and the blindfold both
conspires to make me feel some amount of... well, not panic, certainly. No,
something more like a heightened awareness of my own vulnerability. I'm not
sure if I like it or not...

	I feel the bed move beneath the weight of an additional body as my lover
sits besides me. I can sense his hand hovering over me, about to touch. I
can't quite anticipate where, though, so am pleasantly surprised when his
feather-light fingers start to explore the hard ridges of my stomach. His
hands are gentle as they trace out the lines of the muscles, so unlike...

	Then again, Joe could be like this, for all I know. Michael is being kind
enough to indulge my small fantasy, not even taking offense when he heard
the reason why. That understanding is one of the pleasant things about him.
We both know that our relationship is based on mutual attraction and
friendship -- nothing permanent is going to come out of it. Still, I know
that he is quite possibly the only lover I had, or will ever have, who does
not care that I wish him to be someone else. He is altogether too nice for
his own good... 

	My gasp is audible as I startle. Michael's hands have started to drift
their way lower, and he seems to be taking a fiendish delight at teasing me
to my limit. Perhaps I had been a bit hasty in thinking that he wouldn't
take some form of revenge... As his lips join his hands in their
explorations, I can't help but wish that this be the form all revenge took...

---
JOE
---

	I'm drunk, I think. No, I know I'm drunk. Not a lot, but enough to slow
down my reflexes and make it so that I could quite possibly do damage to my
car. That would not be a good thing -- I know that if I do something stupid
now, I _will_ regret it later. I debate whether or not I should attempt to
drive to my trailer, or just drop by Ken's. His place is definitely closer,
so I guess the question is pretty much answered. I have to wonder why I'm
so close to the airstrip -- I don't remember driving out this far.

	Noticing the lateness, I attempt to drive quietly. Parking and getting
out, I wonder if Ken will even realize that I am being considerate, in my
own way. Guess that's what being middlin' drunk does to me. I'm not used to
it; I'm usually violent or just bombed, but either way, I'm never this
aware. Damn, it's weird feeling sober when I know I'm drunk.

	I wonder if my fearless leader is awake. Ken shouldn't be, since we have a
training session tomorrow and he's the one always telling us that we should
get a good night's sleep before those. I'll admit I was pretty stupid to go
drinking when it's going to be that brutal tomorrow. We're going to be
experimenting with some different hand-to-hand moves that will take a while
for us to really get...

	Reaching for the key under the doormat, I carefully unlock and open the
door. Closing it behind me, I decide to grab some food before crashing on
the couch. After all, we're teammates, right? He shouldn't mind too much if
I get myself something to eat -- it's not like I haven't paid off some of
his tab at Jun's. That should entitle me to something.

	After looking into his fridge and seeing nothing but water, ketchup and a
lone bottle of beer, I shake my head. He's really terrible when it comes to
things like mundane self-maintenance. At least I can cook, which is more
than I can say for him. I wonder if I should take the beer, but decide that
I've had enough, considering tomorrow. 

	I freeze when I hear something come from somewhere in the darkened house
as I leave the kitchen. I stay perfectly still, straining my ears. When I
hear another muffled cry, I immediately launch myself toward Ken's bedroom.
I know Eagle, and he's not the type to have someone else with him this late
at night. I'm willing to bet that he's still a virgin -- probably waiting
for Jun or something. Too bad... 

	No, I did not just think that. Ignoring the errant thought, I try to
concentrate on keeping quiet. As I get closer to his room, I hear the
sounds of rustling sheets and a struggle. Racking my brains, I wonder
exactly what could have gotten a member of the Science Ninja Team, here in
his own home. A Galactor attack or some kind? Maybe a spy, or... I shrug,
since it doesn't really matter. I'm gonna seriously damage whoever is in
there with Ken and then he can fill me in on the rest. That's the way it
works.


	I notice that the door is ajar. Deciding to get a look at the situation
before rushing in, I take a careful look inside the room, making sure that
I won't be seen. All that ninja training is good for this sort of thing,
after all... 

	As I take in the scene before me, I blink, unable to comprehend what I was
seeing. I close my eyes and open them again, wondering if I had had more
beer than I'd thought. Slowly, I get out a shuriken from my pocket, and
prepare to take out the man who's obviously holding Ken prisoner somehow.

---
KEN
---

	I manage to gasp out, "You're evil..." before his mouth covers mine. For a
moment, I think my torture is over, but thought is dashed when Michael
starts to simultaneously tease my mouth with his tongue and run his hand
down my body in a most distracting, tantalizing way. 

	I squirm, wanting to tear free from the bindings and reverse the slow,
maddening ministrations, but something stops me. It would mean that I would
be admitting defeat, for one thing. That is something I make a habit of
_not_ doing. Besides, I'm enjoying it -- Michael is too good a lover not to
make this absolutely mind-blowing amazing. Another good thing about him...

	As Michael's lips move lower and my control erodes even more, I can't
think of anything but the intense sensations. My awareness of him as a
person disappears and all I'm left with is the torment of his touch ruling
everything. I thrust against his hand, hoping that he give me even a little
relief, but all he does is laugh and move his hand back to my stomach. I
think I'm going to kill him if he doesn't stop this soon... 

	"God... oh, shit. Joe... please."

	I barely notice what I say, as I lose all grip on reality and become
flooded with nothing else but the sensations that he is raising in me. I
wish that this were Joe, dammit. I want him to be driving me crazy like
this, not Michael... I love Michael as a friend, as a lover, as someone who
will always be there for me. But Joe... Joe is the one wild passion in my
life.

	For a moment, Michael is still and I wonder if I've made him angry. It's
understandable -- even if he did agree to this, what kind of person could
not feel cheapened in some way by this? It's a horrible thing I've made him
do, but...  

	I feel a soft breath against my cheek, a whisper in my ear. "It's all
right, love. I understand. Stay here for a second, and I'll be right back.
There's... something I should take care of."

	I stay there, gasping and trembling on the bed as he stands. I could ask
him where he's going, or tear off the rope and undo my blindfold to make
sure he doesn't leave at all, but I don't. I trust him, and he deserves
better than that -- especially since I'm essentially the one using him... 

---
JOE
---

	Ken's hoarse, desperate cry is ringing in my ear and it won't stop. As
soon as I hear it, I propel myself away from the door as fast as I can, my
brain racing. He... he couldn't have said what I heard. It's impossible...
I know him. He's the Eagle, G-1, leader of the Science Ninja Team. He may
be intelligent, brave, and all of that heroic shit, but he's also clueless
when it comes to anything resembling a personal or love life. He somehow
manages to miss all the desperate signals that Jun throws at him, never
mind the more subtle ones I try to hide... Or at least, I'd thought-

	"Condor Joe, I assume."

	I roll immediately, shuriken in hand, and crouch into a defensive
position. That guy... he couldn't have been walking that quietly -- I
should know better than to let my guard down over something as trivial...
as... damn it, what the hell is going on?

	Everything I'm feeling must be written all over my face, because he raises
an eyebrow and motions me away from the door. With a knowing smile, he
asks, "So, G-2, what are you doing here?"

	He doesn't even flinch as my shuriken comes at him, although I can tell he
notices my lightning-fast movement. I'm really tempted to just let the
poisoned tip go through his neck, but I stop my hand at the last moment.
With the point just at his throat, I hiss, "Who the hell are you, and what
did you do to Ken?"

	Looking at me calmly -- too calmly for a guy who's really close to death
right now -- he grins at me. "I'm Michael, Ken's lover, and I'm currently
in the process of screwing him silly right now. Oh, and I'm also pretending
to be you. Happy?" With that, he moves my hand away from his throat. I let
him, as my brain slowly tries to deal with what he's told me. 

	Finally, I manage to get something out. "Oh. Okay. Bye." I'm going to run
very quickly to the car right now, turn around and pretend this never
happened, because if I do think about it, there's gonna be hell to pay-

	My panicked train of thought is interrupted by his exasperated question.
"That's it? That's all you're going to say before you leave?" Before I know
it, he's the one who has me pinned against the wall. My eyes narrow as I
examine him again -- he's definitely not normal.

	Again, I ask him, "Who are you?"

	He gives me an indecipherable look, before answering. "Doesn't matter
right now... besides, I think my question is a bit more important, don't you?"

	I look away from him, trying to avoid his eyes. "What else should I say?"

	"For one thing, you could ask why Ken wanted me to do this."

	"None of my business."

	"You think not?"

	His challenging tone makes me bristle. Snarling, I force myself away from
him. "It doesn't matter. Why should it?"

	"It shouldn't -- that is, if Ken is just your comrade. If all you he is to
you is your leader who you rebel against every so often, or even a friend
and occasional drinking buddy -- if that's all he is to you, then it
doesn't matter." His look is hard as if he's looking down into the depths
of my soul. "If you can honestly tell me that you can just shrug off the
fact that Ken is lying on a bed right now, wanting you more than anything,
then fine. It doesn't matter."

	I close my eyes for a second, just knowing that Ken is going to burst out
of his room wondering what the hell is going on... I really don't want to
be here when that happened. Really. I don't. That is- "So, why do you care?
Not as if you're going to leave him just 'cause I'm here."

	"I am."

	"What?!" I glance at the door nervously, hoping he that he hadn't heard me
just now...

	Michael looks at me and rolls his eyes. As if explaining to a child, he
starts to speak slowly to me. "I'm not going to stick around when Ken
obviously wants someone else in that bed with him. Especially since said
person he wants has just showed up at the perfect time to do something
right." He shrugs and turns to leave. 

	I put myself in front of him and struggle to keep my voice low. "Are you
crazy? How can you just leave him there-"

	"I figure that you're going to go in there soon and give him something he
can't get from me."

	"What-"

	"He loves you, idiot. I'm assuming you love him too, because you're
exhibiting all the signs of it right now. So why don't you go in there and
make things right between the two of you?" His expression turns amused and
not a small part lecherous as he adds, "I'm going to leave now, unless you
want me to watch." He looks at my face and shrugs again, "I guess not. See
ya."

	I watch him leave, not quite knowing what to say. I really, really want to
leave now too. But that would leave Ken the way he is, and that would be
very bad... yes, very, very bad. But if I go in there, he'll probably kill
me. I think. Maybe. If I go into his room, I don't know if I'll be able to
stop... I probably won't want to...

	I feel my expression turn decidedly perverted for a moment as I remember
the way he looked on that bed. I know I want him right now, but I've wanted
him for a long time. That doesn't mean that I have to act on it... Dammit,
I thought he was straight -- if I'd known... if only- That guy can't be
telling the truth, because if he is...

	I close my eyes for a moment, trying to calm my thoughts. I open them
again after deciding to do things the way I've always done them -- by going
the highest speed I can and hoping that I don't crash into anything. As I
turn to the door, I can't help but think that if nothing else, I'm going to
take a good, long look at him before he decides to beat me silly... 

---
KEN
---

	When I hear the soft footsteps and the creak of a door opening, I sigh in
relief. I had been debating whether or not to go after Michael and would
probably have gone in just another moment. After all, something could have
happened to him -- anything is possible in a world like this. He comes up
to me hesitantly, and then stops at the side of the bed.

	I feel him stand over me, just looking. I shiver at the intensity of the
gaze, and hope that this means he's willing to stop with the wonderfully
torturous foreplay. Not that I mind _too_ much, of course, but enough is
enough -- I suppose. He sits down next to me, and does nothing for a long
moment. I can sense something different, something -- I stop myself from
exploring further. I had decided to play as a normal person, and I refuse
to break that vow now. Instead, I close my eyes under the blindfold and
wait for him to act. 

	A finger starts to trace my face, starting from my cheek and moving down.
At the same time, a hand runs down my side possessively, as if wanting to
touch every part of me. There's something -- I cut that thought off too,
resolutely trying to do nothing but feel. It's not too difficult. The touch
is somehow more... I can't define it, but he's tempting me to just pull
these ropes off...

	His mouth captures one of my nipples, and his suckling makes me moan. At
the sound, he stiffens, stopping and pulling his head up. He stays still,
just looking at me again, and I want to scream at him to continue because
he's driving me crazy and- He puts his hand back to my face, capturing my
chin. His thumb rubs my cheek, and then brushes my mouth. I capture it
playfully between my teeth, tasting salt, alcohol, dirt, and- 

	Something is too obviously wrong for me to pretend anymore. This isn't
Michael, and that means that he's either dead or incapacitated -- this must
be some sort of Galactor plot, or- At my alarm, the impostor quickly pulls
his finger away. As I'm about to break the ropes, I feel a hand clamp my
wrists together and keep them on the headboard. 

	I struggle, but somehow this person is even stronger than I am. I'm about
to try for the Birdrang from under the pillow when I feel the stranger
climb atop of me, putting his whole weight and length on me. I feel the
other hand come closer, and am prepared to bite when it merely removes the
encumbering blindfold from my face. 

	Before my eyes adjust to the dim light, the man steals a kiss. He crushes
my lips with his, flooding my mouth with the taste of beer and cigarettes.
I fight, trying to bite his tongue or lips, but he pulls back too quickly.
And then I see him. Oh God. Joe.

	I stare up at him in shock and disbelief. It can't be him, here, like
this. It can't. I must have fallen asleep waiting for Michael. That's the
only explanation for the fact that my dreams seem to have come to life like
this. Must be. Or else... 

	His low, deep voice rumbles through me as his mouth pauses at my ear.
"Just let me have one more minute before you kill me..."

	Joe's eyes meet mine and all the things I had been about to say float
away. His wonderfully changing blue-gray gazes at me and my mind gibbers,
running away into a corner while my libido takes charge. I know I'm about
to make a mistake and for once, I'm not going to give a damn...

---
JOE
---

	I shouldn't be doing this. I knew that the second he resisted my kiss,
trying to do damage to his attacker -- me, I guess. Still, I can't help
asking for another minute, and his huge blue eyes seem to scream outrage at
my presumption. All I know is that I'm gonna take that full minute for all
its worth before I end up in the hospital.

	I don't take my right hand from his wrists as my left moves to re-explore
the body that's been so tantalizingly out of my reach for as long as I've
known him. God knows I've touched him before in fights and training
sessions. I've even looked at him in the showers when he wasn't looking,
and so I've got a pretty good idea of what I'll find. 

	Still, as I feel his smooth skin under my hand, I realize how all of my
imaginings, daydreams and half-touching hits had never even come close to
the reality. The strong, lean muscled body that is under me for this
moment... it's better than anything, everything -- it's enough. For this,
I'll go to the hospital. It's not like I've never been there before, and if
there's ever been anything that's been worth a trip...

	He stops trying to buck me off, seeming even more shocked. That must be
what it is, since his eyes are getting even larger and more intense... I
can't help but wonder, though. I've seen that expression before, when he
was sizing up a particularly tough Galactor, and-

	"Shit!"

	My surprised yell rings through the small room as I find myself suddenly
flipped over. Staring up, I see Ken's mouth turn up in a predatory smile as
he lowers himself to steal a kiss of his own. Neither of us are resisting
this time and I find myself relaxing more and more into the kiss, feeling
nothing but pleasure and-

	The kiss breaks off suddenly as I feel Ken's hand around my throat.
Looking up into his grinning blue eyes, I wonder if he's gonna kill me or
do something else... I really hope its something else, because I'm
obviously going to enjoy that more... 

	There's a dangerous glint in Ken's eyes as he growls in my ear, "Joe,
you're going to find out exactly what I can do. I promise I won't damage
you... much."

	Oh good. It's going to be something else... That's the last coherent
thought I manage as Ken's lips come back down on mine and his hands start
to slide off my shirt.

-------
MICHAEL
-------

	"Mister-"

	I look at the good doctor with more than a hint of exasperation. "Dr.
Nambu, please! Just Michael, if you wouldn't mind." He looks a bit
nonplused, the poor dear. He's just not a people person, is he? "So, Doctor
-- what is it?"

	He looks down, avoiding my gaze. In a rush, he says, "I thought that you
were going to be with Ken... that is-" I sigh. Dr. Nambu is definitely not
comfortable with the idea of my being Ken's lover. He agreed to it, of
course, but he didn't seem to like doing so much. Logic had persuaded him,
perhaps, but... 

	Still, even he couldn't deny why it was necessary. Given Joe's track
record with Galactors, ISO had been searching, unofficially of course, for
a way to prevent such impairment of judgment from happening to the leader
of the Science Ninja Team. Ken's reluctance to have a relationship with Jun
made it so that they had decided that there was need to search elsewhere...
especially when someone figured out Ken was gay after having seen him
flirting with a few guys at a bar.

	Since that discovery, ISO had thrown a number of male agents at Ken,
hoping he'd develop a relationship with someone safe. It was recognized
that Ken, as leader, had an especially large sense of responsibility, and a
penchant toward feeling greater amounts of stress. Sex is a great way to
relieve that, after all, and a stable relationship would be able to protect
him from any Galactor plots or infiltration dealing with his separate life
as Ken Washio. So, there I was. Ken knew I was ISO, even if he didn't
realize it had been planned -- it made things easier all around. 

	Still, Dr. Nambu definitely does not like any of this as is somewhat
understandable, considering his mindset. He must really be concerned if
he's willing to talk to me when not absolutely necessary. I give him a
reassuring smile and answer, "I was, Doctor. That is, until Joe showed up."

	"Joe?!" 

	Why, the man looks quite shocked... how unusual for him. I try to calm him
by giving him a quite sensible explanation. "Well, yes. Don't know why he
was there, but it's all fine now. They should be releasing some tension in
a nice, productive way now..."


	"WHAT?"

	I glance around, noticing the startled stares that are being garnered by
the Doctor's outburst. I sigh again, wondering how long this is going to
take. "Well, you know that Ken and Joe are in love -- or in lust. Who
knows? Still, I'm almost willing to bet it's the former. They've been
through too much for there to be nothing but physical attraction."

	"Joe and Ken... you're joking. You have to be-"

	"Doctor, please. I'm late for a rather important meeting. If you really
want to know, sir, then I suggest you ask your two Ninjas. They are, after
all, quite capable of answering your questions." I nod my head and leave
him there in the hallway, speechless. I can't help but start to whistle as
I walk on, feeling as if I've done two good deeds in one day. After all,
Ken and Joe deserve each other, and the Doctor... well, everyone needs to
be taken down a notch or two. Right?

---
KEN
---

	I stare down at him, at the man I've been dreaming about possessing for so
long, and grin. He looks back at me with a challenging expression on his
face and reaches up with his hand. Just touching my face, he lets his
fingers drift down my cheek and throat to stop at my chest, where my heart
is beating much too fast.

	"So, that was nice. How long..." Joe's question fades away, as if he is
uncertain of what exactly to ask. I shrug and lie down beside him on my
somewhat small bed. It's a size that makes it so I'm basically forced into
his embrace -- a feature that I had noticed before with others, although I
never appreciated it quite so much until now...

	"How long what? How long have I wanted this? How long have I been gay? What?"

	Our faces are almost nose to nose and his stormy eyes make me want to
shiver as he gives me a measuring look. He's silent for a moment, before
lying back against the bed. Letting out a sigh, he answers, "I think that
maybe you should tell me everything. This is gonna take us a while..."

	I grin at his automatic usage of 'us', before climbing atop of him. He
raises an eyebrow, to which I shrug again. "Hey, the bed _is_ a little
small. I'm just conserving space. Got a problem with it?" Joe doesn't say a
word, so I just prop myself up on my elbows against his chest, ignoring his
little grunt of pain. I count the seconds, getting up to ten before he
finally loses it and tosses me back on the bed. 

	"Calm down, Joe... chan." As I watch his face contort, I know I'm going to
be having a lot of fun with him. He's going to be in for a surprise if he
expects me to be the straight-laced Ken with him...

	I ignore his expression, just gazing into his eyes until he quiets down.
That had always worked with him in one way or another, even if he would
never acknowledge it. After a moment of silence, I break through it with an
answer to his question.

	"How long... well, if you mean gay, I've known I was for a while now.
Didn't think it was anyone's business, though. After all, it is my personal
decision to go out for a good time as long as it doesn't endanger the
team." I give Joe a stern look before emphasizing, "Unlike _some_ people, I
always made sure the guy was safe and not a Galactor..."

	Joe becomes half-embarrassed and half-angry in a really cute way that I
hadn't noticed before. "Hey! How was I supposed to-"

	With a knowing smile on my face, I pat him on the head. "Don't worry,
Joe-chan. It's not your fault that you think with your dick."

	"Screw you, man! I do not -- it's just- And what's up with the 'chan',
anyway?"

	"You're so adorable when you're like this... I thought that it fit." 

	"You-" He growls, only half-joking. Putting his arms around me, he holds
me to him tightly, barely letting me breathe. I can't hide my amusement at
Joe's total loss of control. I never thought what fun it could be to mess
with him like this... The total freedom I feel right now -- it's amazing. I
can't be myself with anyone else, and I wouldn't want to. Somehow, only Joe
makes it so that it's possible. As his grip loosens, I sink down into his
embrace, content to be in the warm silence with him. 

	I'm who people expect me to be. To Dr. Nambu, I'm the boy he raised when
my father left. He expects me to act the way he taught me to be -- honest,
brave, intelligent, utterly loyal to ISO, self-sacrificing -- all of it. I
don't really mind, because that's basically the way I tick, but sometimes
the pressure just gets to be too much. 

	To the others on the Team, I'm self-righteous Ken, the leader. I'm the one
they follow, the one they blame, the one who's supposed to get the Team out
of trouble. They don't consciously know it, but somehow what they expect of
me. The worst thing is that Joe is at his best when challenging Leader-Ken.
I don't want to take that from him, since he is so... I grin at the
memories of some of the more heated arguments we've had. 

	I know that Leader-Ken is who keeps us alive in situations where Joe could
get us killed, but that doesn't mean I want to be like that all the time.
Leader-Ken can be a real bastard, and if I'm not him, then I'm -- well, I
don't know who I am. I don't have much of a life beyond ISO and fighting
Galactor, and I probably won't have one until Galactor's threat is gone
from Earth forever -- however long that takes. 

	To everyone else, I'm Gatchaman. G-1. The Eagle. A faceless 'hero' who
manages, though sometimes just barely, to beat Berg Katse's latest plot
with his teammates at his side. The public thinks he's great, and the
Galactors have nightmares about him. But he's not a real person. Eagle is
the guy everyone wants to be when they're playing Science Ninja Team versus
Galactor -- well, me or Joe. But that doesn't give Ken much of a life...

	Screw what Dr. Nambu thinks. I don't care what the Team will do or -- no,
that's not true. I care. I care terribly about what'll happen to the Team,
what everyone will think. But that doesn't matter. I'm not going to let him
go. I'm not going to be any easier on Joe because of this, but what happens
outside of Gatchaman time is my private business -- and I fully intend to
have Joe there with me. 

---
JOE
---

	I notice him grow quiet beside me, and I enjoy the feel of his body right
alongside mine. A comfortable silence grows between the two of us and I
don't mind it stretching out the way it has. That's one difference between
him and my usual relationships. Either the girl or I'm talking -- I could
never seem to find a person who'd just shut up, and who'd let me do the
same, until now. Finally, I decide to say something -- not that the silence
is bothering me, but because it seems right that I give Ken something back. 

	"Fine, Ken. You want to be like that, wait until you get into trouble and
see how fast that 'chan' disappears. Got it?" As he smiles up at me, I
realize how much I want to see that happiness on his face. Ken doesn't
really have a history of being all that cheerful -- he's either being a
prick, or just- well, actually, being a uptight jerk is what he does best.
I wonder why I want him, considering...

	Then I remember back to times when someone else had shone through the
mask. In those rare moments when he had let himself be unguarded, I had
seen -- well, the guy I'm holding in my arms now. That Ken is worth my
time, even if the Fearless Leader isn't. 


	Besides, it's not like I'm much better than he is. At least he has a real
person under his mask -- I'm just me. He knows as well as I do that I'm not
quite all right inside. There's an urge inside me to destroy, to kill, to
get back what was stolen from me -- all of that, and more. But maybe if
he's here with me, I'll stop being so damn stupid sometimes. Who knows?

	It's odd. I mean, I'm not gay... bisexual, maybe, but I like women too. A
lot. I like having a soft body next to me, and curves under my hand. But
Ken... he's more than sex, even though it's even better with him than I
could have imagined -- and trust me, I've imagined. He's a friend, and he
could be something more, if we could both let it be. 

	But I've got to know... "Just who is this Michael guy, anyway? How the
hell did he know I was G-2?"

	"I have no idea how he would know. I mean, well..." His voice drifts off
as he collects his thoughts. "Michael is someone I met a few months ago at
a bar when I was really trying to forget about a Galactor incident. It was
one of those where we didn't get there fast enough and-" He stops, his
voice choked at the memory. I nod, understanding exactly how he feels. 

	"It's not our fault -- remember that if we weren't there at all-"

	"I know. But-" Ken's face is haunted as doubts he had never let out force
their way to the surface. I watch him, knowing that even in my
blood-thirsty soul, that same grief and pain exists, hidden. "Are we really
doing any good? There's so much blood on our hands. Are we even-"

	"Yes." My monosyllabic answer quiets him as he hears the iron behind the
word. He believes me... I just wish I could believe myself. But that
doesn't really matter. I distract him by putting his reminiscence back on
track. "So, you met Michael at this bar. You picked him up?" That last
question was asked somewhat incredulously as I tried to reconcile my mental
image of tight-assed Ken doing that.

	Ken smirks at me and shrugs. "Well, something like that. It just sorta
happened, you know -- one drink after another, and we ended up back at my
place. He had mentioned during our conversation that he was part of ISO, so
he was safe enough." 

	I blink at the casual tone, but I can't say really anything, can I -- not
considering my record, anyway. After a moment of silence, Ken picks back up
on his story. "It started out as a casual thing, but I started to run into
Michael at odd times when I was doing test pilot stuff for Dr. Nambu. I'll
tell you, the first time I saw him at Cresent Coral, I think both of us
nearly had heart attacks. We actually got to know each other, and he got to
be a good friend. I know he does some research for the Mantle Project, but
I don't pry and he doesn't either."

	Looking at him, I wonder if I should bring up some of the moves that
Michael had used on me. Maybe he's part of Red Impulse, or...? After
thinking about it for a moment, I decide not to -- after all, what would be
the point? Michael's one of the good guys, and as long as he's not a threat...

	I look around Ken's room, really seeing it for the first time. It's pretty
much what I'd expected -- spare and utilitarian, with a hint of shabbiness
that showed though its precise organization. My eyes light on the photo of
a younger Ken with his parents, but know that this is _not_ the time to
open that particular can of worms. 

	A thought comes to me as I look at the beat-up furniture. "Ken, don't you
think its time we got some money for all this Galactor-fighting we do? I
mean, it's pretty crappy of Dr. Nambu to not even pay us when we put our
lives on the line every week. You barely make ends meet with your mail
route, and I miss half the prize-races I could be in because of the
idiot-mecha-of-the-week."

	He shakes his head. With mock seriousness, he gives me hard tap on my
head. "Weren't you listening when the Doctor explained this to us?" At my
rude gesture, his lips twitch with barely-suppressed laughter. "All right
-- you know as well as I do that sudden influxes of money makes people
suspicious. Once people start looking for something hidden, they're pretty
much guaranteed to find it. The head of Galactor Intelligence might be an
idiot, but the Finance guy is pretty competent. Let's not push our luck."

	"You know that you wouldn't survive the week without the tab at Snack
J's..." Neither of us say anything for a moment, before I decided to bite
the bullet and give voice to some of the things we've both been wondering.
"What do we do about... well, about everyone? Should we tell them, or-" My
train of thought breaks off and I mention the real doozy. "Shit. Jun."

	Ken nods before looking away from me. As I'm about to ask if he's all
right, his voice rings in the room. "It's none of their business. If they
find out, they'll just have to accept it. That's all I can say." His fierce
eyes meet mine and I match him, look for look. He's said what I was gonna
say, so at least we're thinking the same... 

	Our eyes don't leave each other as Ken reaches out for me. He pushes me
back down on the bed, and his lips come down on mine. I hold him to me as
we both lose ourselves in the sensations of the kiss. After a few minutes
of this, I reach up to brush some hair from his eyes and then turn both of
us so that we're entangled, side by side. 

	We make love more slowly this time. There's less hunger and more curiosity
as we both explore, lips and hands and everything else touching, feeling...
I try to ignore the desperate quality of it, submerging myself in the
simpler, more pleasant sensations of pure desire transforming into a sated
happiness that finally drifts both of us into sleep.
	
-----
NAMBU
-----

	I stare at the jauntily whistling man walking away from me, absolutely
stunned by what I had just heard. I wonder if my ears are actually
functioning, and then note that they obviously are. I walk slowly to my
office, and sit quickly. 

	"Ken and Joe. Impossible. Preposterous."

	I don't want to think about what this is going to do to the team. Aside
from their obvious new closeness, Jun's anger is going to be hard to deal
with. Not to mention that Joe might take this as some sort of initiative
that he can do whatever he wants since he's slee- he's... he has a
relationship with Ken. 

	My mind is still working out this problem as I start retrieving files on
my computer. I might as well get all of these forms done tonight since I'm
obviously not going to get any sleep. I work through the night, stopping
only to stand and get some coffee. I try not to think about what Michael
had told me, and decide to focus on my work to the extent of nearly
forgetting to make sure that everyone is ready for the training session.

	I page Ken's bracelet, before realizing that he might not be in a position
-- that is, in -- in a state to receive calls. Still, he turns it on
obediently and I see that he is dressed and seems ready to go. He looks
awake and aware, as well as quite cheerful. Perhaps...

	"Ken, you do remember that the training session is today?"

	"Of course, Doctor." He sounds quite happy, and not at all tired. He
obviously could not have been awake during the night... I find myself
wondering if Michael had just been playing a joke on me. He seems to enjoy
doing that, the trickster that he is.

	With that comforting thought in my mind, I tell him, "Please remind all
the others about it." I am glad to be able to page off without having to
deal with any of the things I'd learned last night. Michael really must
have just told me that to-

	"What does the Doctor want, Ken?"

	Ken's harsh whisper is toward someone whom I can't see. "Get out of bed!
It's already seven in the morning." The owner of the sleepy voice is one
that I recognize...

	"Not my fault you tired me out last night." I hear Joe yawn in the
background, and wince. "I'm gonna make breakfast, 'cause you can't cook. I
remember."

	"All right, just get out of bed!" Ken's face returns to the view-screen
and he smiles at me with in some embarrassment. "Sorry about that, Doctor.
Obviously, I won't have to tell Joe. I really will have him getting up
earlier from now on."

	I cough, and nod. "Of course."

	"Ken out."

	I lean back against the chair, my head pounding. I have a feeling that
this is not going to be a good day...

---
KEN
---

	"Shit." My soft curse makes Joe turn back toward me in surprise. I take
off my transmutation bracelet and place it on the dresser before sitting
back down on the bed. I had managed to get up at six o'clock like usual,
and a cup of coffee had made it so that I'd actually felt awake. 

	After downing the extra-strong cup and getting dressed, I had sat back
down on the bed next to the sleeping Joe, just trying to think. I had
gotten distracted from my usual thoughts of the next mission by the soft
snores emanating from the person who I was sharing my bed with.

	With a smile, I had pinched his nose, wondering how long it would take
before he woke up. To my surprise, he had just batted my hand away firmly
before draping his still-naked form on top of mine. I had considered
pushing him off, but decided that I really didn't mind that much...

	When I heard the beeping of the bracelet about thirty minutes later, I had
replied immediately. It was ingrained habit, after all, and it was only
after I'd done so that I'd realized... 

	Still, the expression on Doctor Nambu's face had been priceless. We all
respect the Doctor, of course. He is a incredible man and has a mind beyond
our capabilities to understand. However, he's also somewhat conservative
and old-fashioned, not quite in sync with the social changes in the world... 

	At Joe's silent question, I sigh. "This probably wouldn't have been the
way I would have broken this to him, you know?" 

	He nods, and then shrugs. "Well, it wasn't like we could have kept this
secret, anyway. Shit happens. What can we do?"
 
	I accept what he says with a half-smile. Joe has a rather pragmatic
approach to life... In an attempt to change the subject, I ask with a
smile, "What's this about cooking?"

	Joe gives me a look filled with disgust before pulls me to the
refrigerator. Gesturing to the near-empty interior, he asks, "What do you
eat when you're not mooching off of Jun? Look at this! How am I supposed to
make breakfast?" 

	I open a cardboard box that is under the small kitchen table and pull out
two instant ramen cups. After tossing one of the plastic-wrapped Styrofoam
packages to Joe, I pour some water into a kettle and put it onto the
burner. "This is what we eat, of course." I grin at the expression on his
face before reaching back into the box to pull out a a couple of disposable
chopsticks. Handing one to Joe, I sit at the table, and wait for the water
to boil. 

	"This is what you eat?"

	"What else for a person who, like you said, has very little income?"

	He groans before retorting, "Look, Ken. When I move my trailer here, I'm
going to have to cook you some real food..." His voice trails off as he
sees the surprised look on my face. "What?"

	"You're moving your trailer here?" I say this in a stunned sort of voice.

	"Well, why not?" His gaze is challenging, as if expecting an argument. I
get out of my chair, but stop as I look at him, unsure of what I should do.
My first instinct is to hug him, but that would probably make him a bit
uncomfortable, or something, and... To hell with it-

	I put my arms around him and feel his come around me. My lips lock onto
his and we stay that way until the fierce boiling of the water makes the
kettle whistle. We both jump, instinctively searching for a target. As we
both realize what the high-pitched noise is, Joe starts to laugh and I join
him. I retrieve the kettle, pouring water into both our ramen cups before
putting it back onto the stove top. As Joe starts to eat, I reach for the
phone to call Snack J. 

	"Hey, aniki. What's up?"

	"Don't forget to remind your sister that we have the training session
today, 1000 sharp. Okay?"

	"Don't worry, we didn't forget. Oh, and Ryu's here too, so we're all going
together. Where's Joe-aniki?"

	"Joe... Joe will be there. Don't worry. See you soon."

	At Joe's expression, I shrug. "I don't have to proclaim to the world that
we slept together last night, you know."

	"I know."

	"Besides, you _are_ going to be there on time, right?"

	He bared his teeth at me in a combination of smile and challenge. "How are
you going to make me?"

	Reacting to his playful attitude, I lower my voice and say in my most
threatening manner, "I have my ways..." 

	"Is that so? We'll just see about that." Joe's arm comes snaking over to
circle my waist...

---
JOE
---

	I think he's mad. Taking a quick glance beside me, I catch Ken's
expression as he stares stonily down the road. Okay, lemmie revise that
last thought. I _know_ he's mad. At me or at himself, I can't tell, but
it's not really my fault that we're late -- it's more like it was really
both our fault... 

	At my grin, Ken half-seriously aims a punch at my head, which I dodge in
an exaggerated manner. "It's not funny, Joe. I should be there on time, if
only to set an example as-" I press down on the acceleration, reveling in
the feel of my baby as she takes the tight turns easily. It's easy to
ignore Ken when he gets into his 'I'm a leader' mode, and I know he's
noticed my inattention when he finally shuts up. 

	"Joe."

	Without looking at him, I intone, "What is it, Oh Mighty Leader?" I ignore
his irritated look and keep on driving. Can't forget that we _are_ late --
we still have more than a few miles to cover. I feel his frustration but I
ignore that, too. After all, Ken deserves to have a little hot air taken
out of him when he acts that way. 

	"What's wrong with you? Don't ignore me when I-"

	"Do you see a Galactor around here?" 

	Immediately, Gatchaman is in the seat where Ken was, as he warily scans
the skies and the road. When he doesn't see anything threatening, he shakes
his head. He mouths, "Where?"

	I tell him rudely, "If there aren't about twenty Galactors chasing us,
then I don't want to hear you preach at me. Especially when we're alone."

	Ken stiffens even more, and then gazes away from me, out the window. I
don't expect much conversation now, but Ken, as always, manages to surprise
me. After a moment of silence, he turns back to me and asks, "How else do
you expect me to be?" 

	How can I answer him, if I don't know myself? Just... I just want him to
be more... or less... or- I'm not really cut out for thinking, you know?
Not for the deep kind of stuff that Dr. Nambu understands, or even for the
kind of thing that Ken always agonizes over. All I know is loyalty to the
Team, to ISO, and that we should kill all the bastards who dare to hurt one
of ours. 

	How can I answer him, when he's the one who thinks for me on most of the
important stuff? I follow his orders most of the time, unless there's a
quicker way to kill more of the bad guys. Even then, I can always see that
Ken has a point -- it's just that I can't seem to control my blood-lust. I
know that Ken's not always in control either, but at least he tries. He
tries so hard that he can't help but become Gatchaman outside of his
Birdstyle. I know all that, but still...

	I don't like Gatchaman very much -- I don't mean the real Ken, but the
"white shadow". He's bossy and irritating, always thinking that he's right,
you're wrong, and that Nambu is God. He's cold, and willing to sacrifice
the few for the greater good of the many. It may be expedient, but it's
also something that should give someone nightmares at night. Maybe it
does... but not when he's being Leader.

	Hell, I know that's why Ken's leader. We need someone like that in our
fight -- I mean, come on! We're five against the largest, most dangerous
criminal organization ever assembled. We've had help from Red Impulse and
his team, but that's rare, at best. Granted, most of the Galactors are
two-bit thugs who figure that they're better than the rest of the scum.
Okay, so Berg Katse is a crazy hysteric who's prone to wearing lipstick.
Oh, and plus the fact that the mechs that are thrown at us range from the
surreal to the incredibly _stupid_. 

	Even with all that, how likely are our chances of survival with just our
Birdstyles, weapons and the God-Phoenix? Actually, they do seems pretty
high, considering we haven't gone splat on the ground quite yet. The
reasons for that? One of them has to be Leader-Ken. I appreciate that and I
know he's the guy I'd want at my back in a fight. But at my side, in my bed...

	"I just wish you wouldn't act that way when we're not in a combat
situation. We're not G-1 and G-2 right now. We're just Joe and Ken, you
know? You don't have to be that way when we're alone." My voice feels rough
and forced, and there's just enough of my internal monologue still present
in it so that I sound almost desperate. 

	He shrugs. "I'm not sure if I know another way."

	Neither of us move to fill the silence that comes out of that bleak little
statement, and the drive to Headquarters is quiet. It might have been
better if Ken could have taken his plane while I drove in G-2, but his
Cressida had developed "engine trouble." That is, G-1 had taken one hit too
many... Michael had driven him home last night, so I guess we'll tell
everyone that I'd gone to pick him up. I guess. 

	When we get there, I notice that everyone else is already in the practice
room. I check the time, and notice that we're only fifteen minutes late --
we shouldn't be in too much trouble-

	"Ken, Joe. What time is it?" Or maybe we are. Doctor Nambu doesn't look
thrilled at our late arrival, to say the least. 

	I look him straight in the eye and give him the answer that he's waiting
for. "It's 1015, Doctor."

	His lips thin into a disapproving line at my blunt, unapologetic
statement, and he turns to Ken with a look of disappointment in his eyes.
"Ken, this is inexcusable behavior. I reminded you several hours before the
session, not to mention-" Ken looks back at him without saying a word. His
expression is one of stoic acceptance, and I almost feel as if he's
surrendering to something that wasn't his fault. For some reason, this just
pisses me off.

	"Doctor." Doctor Nambu turns back to look at me with even more of the
exasperated hostility than usual. "It's not Ken's fault. It's mine, and I
take full responsibility for it. If you wish, you can discipline me for
this transgression, but I recommend that you do so after the session is over."

	There. I just made a perfectly calm, reasonable request for punishment --
if that doesn't indicate that my brain is slightly off-kilter, nothing
will. Anyway, what can he do to me that he hasn't done before? At least
this way, he won't have to embarrass himself by asking me in public
_exactly_ why we had been late... 

	The Doctor nods. "Joe, Ken, both of you report to me after the training
session. There are some things that we have to discuss." He waves at us to
start, and then goes out the door. As the door hisses shut, everyone seems
to relax just a little.

	Jinpei rushes up to us, almost jumping on top of us in the almost feverish
way he gets when he's excited or curious. "Wow, Joe! That wasn't like you-
Why were you guys so late and-"

	Before either of us can get a word in edgewise, Jun steps up and pulls
Jinpei away from us. "Jinpei! Hush -- we have to start training, and
besides, they'll tell us when they want to."

	"Sis~" The threat of a knock on the head subdues his chatter, and Jun
smiles at Ken. Of course, he's looking elsewhere and misses it, and her
face falls just a little. Damn, we're going to have to talk to her too, I
guess. 

	Ryu, who's been standing by watching all of us with just a bit of
bemusement on her face, volunteers a suggestion. "Why don't we get into our
Birdstyles? Not that this hasn't been fun, but we should start..." The rest
of us nod, and the room is soon filled with five Science Ninjas attacking
and defending from various attacks. 

	I take my frustration out on the various members on my team. Ryu is
actually an interesting partner to have -- he's massively strong and dense,
and faster than you'd think. I'm without my knives and shuriken while he's
in his element with just his fists and strength. We batter at each other
for a few minutes, before I see a form coming in behind me. Dodging
quickly, I let a flying Jinpei take Ryu in the stomach, leaving both of
them in a pile behind me. 

	While Ryu tries to catch the fleet-footed Swallow, I find myself engaged
in a three-way war with Jun and Ken. I catch Ken's eye, and he grins and
gets in a punch just to show me that he's not going to take it easy on me
because we're lovers so I land a kick on him, while blocking one from Jun. 

	It's not easy fighting against Eagle or Swan, and don't let anyone tell
you different. Barehanded, Ken fights like I do when you get down to it.
Our speed, agility, and strength are pretty much balanced while the other
three in our team are more specialized. Owl's got more strength than us,
while Sparrow is much more agile. And Swan -- she's _fast_. She knows where
to hit you so that it hurts, and she does it so fast that all you see is a
blur before you're face-down on the floor. Still, in the end, it becomes a
fight between me and Eagle, as I manage to land a lucky blow on Jun that
takes her out of the game. 

	Ken and I know each other's weakness all too well; we've fought enough
times so that each move is as familiar as our own. That can make for a
really extended, or a really short fight, depending -- this time, it's
long. We trade blows and dodge the ones we can for so long that everyone
else gets up and watches, yelling out suggestions and tips on what we need
improvements on. 

	Finally, I get in a jab that catches him in the solar plexus. He doubles
over for a bare moment, just long enough for me to get an elbow in his
back. He bends down even lower, and then catches me by surprise by grabbing
at my hips. For a surreal moment, this reminds me of last night, and I
redden and let my guard down. He takes the opportunity and manages to throw
me halfway across the room. Remind me not to think about sex when someone's
trying their best to beat you up. Makes for less pain all around... or at
least, for me.

	"I give up, Ken. Damn, that last one hurt..." I open my eyes and see him
standing over me, offering me a hand up. I take it, feeling every bruise
that I've received in the last hour, and then some. His expression is
slightly concerned so I offer him a silent assurance to my mostly-healthy
state. At that, he flashes a grin in my eyes before turning to the rest of
the Team. 

---
KEN
---

	"I've noticed that we've started to rely on our weapons quite a lot --
with the exception of Owl, who is his own weapon." Ryu grins before wincing
at a particularly bad contusion he'd acquired when Jinpei had landed
head-first on him during the fight. "Today, we've seen how long we can last
without weapons, against others without weapons. Still, that doesn't mean
anything if the thugs have guns or knives or any of the other things that
Galactors have been known to use."

	"But aniki, we're twenty times better than any Galactor! Besides, why
wouldn't we have weapons?" At Jinpei's question, I sigh. It would be nice
if it always worked out that way, wouldn't it?

	"Jinpei, you know very well that we can be captured at any time if they
rush us with more people than we can handle. Even Galactors aren't stupid
enough to leave us with our primary weapons -- the fact that some do, or
that they miss a few that we've hidden doesn't mean anything. We have to
prepare for every possibility."

	Jinpei nods in understanding, his eyes too serious for a kid his age. It's
times like this when I wish he didn't have to be a part of all this. Not
that I don't think he's good enough -- for all the trouble he's caused,
he's still integral to the team. Still, it would be nice if he could have
stayed out of this life and lived a normal life -- well, as normal as you
can get during times like this. 

	I'm almost tempted to say something, but then he grins and starts to act
as he usually does -- just like a carefree child. Turning to his sister, he
grins, a sure indication that a teasing is about to occur. "Sis, you did
really good today -- but I bet you would have done even better if you
hadn't been so distracted by-"

	Jun's knuckles comes own on Jinpei's helmet hard enough to make it ring.
At Jinpei's muffled 'ow', the rest of the team starts to laugh, including
me. Jun looks at me for a moment with an indefinable expression on her
face, before turning to berate her brother. The rest of us smile as we
watch the two sibs express their love for each other in their own special
way. 

	This feeling of belonging, of togetherness -- this is what I don't want to
disturb. For all my brave thoughts and words, is getting involved with Joe
worth the risk of breaking up our family? I know that for both of us,
that's exactly what the team is. Even for Joe, this has to be hard. At
least I have the hopes that my father is alive, somewhere. Joe doesn't even
have that.

	I'm about to break the two up when my bracelet beeps. Everyone quiets down
immediately, while I receive the message. "Doctor?"

	"Ken. Have you finished with your training?"

	I look around at my battered teammates. "Yes, Doctor. Joe and I will be up
shortly." He nods and then signs off, leaving an uncomfortable silence
behind him. 

	Finally, Ryu pats me on the back. "Don't worry, Ken. We'll sneak you in
some food if we have to."

	That ridiculous assurance breaks the quiet and cheers everyone up
immensely. I get out of Birdstyle, and motion for Joe to do the same. While
he does so, I tell the three that are left, "Practice while I'm gone for
another thirty minutes. Then go home and rest -- we've had a hard morning."

	The three salute and the "Roger!" rings in the room. I watch them start to
circle each other before turning to Joe. "Let's go."

	We both step out of the room and head toward the Doctor's office. There
isn't much in the way of conversation between us, which I suppose is
understandable... whatever. I'm not exactly sure what Dr. Nambu wants to
discuss with us, but I'm willing to bet that it's about this morning. 

	As we go into the Doctor's office, he motions for us to sit while he
finishes up some paperwork. He seems just a bit more tense than usual,
while his office is not quite as neat. It's just little disturbances, but
enough to be noticed -- at least by us. That is part of what we do, after all.

	After signing the last of the papers on his desk, Dr. Nambu closes the
file with a resounding thump. Putting it away into his desk, he finally
looks up at both of us. But at me, first. Always at me first. His
expression is slightly disapproving, with an edge of disappointment that I
can feel. Still, underneath that I sense something more... 

	"Ken. Joe. We all know that there is something we have to discuss."

	I find myself almost glaring at him. The Doctor's tone is somewhere
between censorious and shocked, as if he can't believe he's even having
this conversation with us. I don't understand it, really -- considering we
both risk our lives everyday to stop Galactor's plots, shouldn't we at
least get some peace in our private lives?

	"I didn't realize that our love lives had anything to do with the Science
Ninja Team, Doctor." My tone is colder than I want it to be, more
confrontational. I can't do anything about that, though -- I'm speaking
like Gatchaman would when faced with a threat.

	Dr. Nambu is quiet for a moment. Then, he puts his hands down onto the
desk. "But it does, Ken. You know how I feel about fraternization -- quite
frankly, I thought that this talk would involve Jun. I don't know if you
two realize how much difficulty these kinds of relationships can cause."

	He stands and walks in front of us. He asks me, "Ken, are you sure that
any decision you make won't be affected by your relationship with one of
your team members?" Then he turns to Joe. "And you, Joe. Is a relationship
with Gatchaman going to make it so that G-2 is going to think that he can
disobey even more than usual?" Neither of us can answer him -- I think
we've both been wondering the same things. 

	"How do you think the other team members are going to react? Ken, you know
that the team dynamics will change if there's even an hint of a
relationship, be it between you and Joe, or anyone else. Have you given any
thought to how they will perceive your orders, or if they'll believe you're
being more permissive than usual, or-"

	The doctor sighs, before sitting back down. Steepling his fingers, he asks
us one final question. "Have you even though beyond -- I'll be generous --
your hearts? There is more at stake here than just your lives. You both
knew that when you joined the Team."

	When his questions are met with silence, he leans back in his chair. After
raising his eyes to meet ours, he closes his eyes. "I admit that the...
nature of your relationship makes me uncomfortable. However, that is not
the primary, or even one of the reasons why I am against it. Speaking
logically for the good of the Team and the Earth, can you offer any sort of
counter-argument for why this should be allowed?"

	I can feel Joe's sidelong glance. He's letting me speak first, which is
good, I suppose. "Doctor." His eyes open and I nod. "I understand all your
concerns, and I have thought about them. However, you're missing one very
large piece of information." I point to Joe. "I have been in love with him
for a very, very long time. I don't know if he's been quite so obsessed
with me, but he did have some feelings for me before last night."

	Looking straight into the Doctor's eyes, I answer all of his doubts. "I
have never hesitated to put Joe in danger. I have never, because of my
attraction for him, allowed him to do anything which I felt put the team in
jeopardy without good reason. My feelings for him do not make me blind -- I
know his strengths and weaknesses, and have never hesitated to go against
his incessant urges for violence and force."

	 He is the one silent this time as Joe joins in. "I don't expect anything
different from Ken now that I'm sleeping with him. He's still my commanding
officer, and in a combat situation, I will act like a soldier. Whatever
people may think, I still obey my leader -- it's just a matter of degree."
At that last bit of information, I shake my head. He grins at me, and I
mouth, 'later'. 

	And the team... gods. I really _don't_ know what to say about that. All I
can do is hope for the best, right? "As for the rest of the Team, I can
only say that I trust them to be soldiers as well. If they have a problem
to our relationship, they're welcome to their opinions -- but only outside
of the fight. They can have their own private lives, as we have ours, but
that does not mean that I will allow them to shirk their duties for any
reason."

	Dr. Nambu looks as if he wants to say something, but I go on. All of this
has to be said- "All five of us know what it means to be a part of the
Science Ninja Team. It means that we risk our lives for the good of the
Earth, so that one day kids like Jinpei don't have to worry about some
mecha coming down and raining death on their city. None of us resent that
-- in fact, it makes us stronger. But I don't think that it's fair for
anyone to restrict our lives as normal people as long as the Team isn't put
in danger. Is it, Doctor?"

	I defiantly take hold of Joe's hand. Seeing my motion, Doctor Nambu's face
exhibits an array of different expressions, before settling on a faint
smile. "Go on, both of you. I'll give some thought to what you've said." We
both stand and salute before leaving our mentor at his desk. 

	When we leave the Doctor's office, both of us let out a simultaneous sigh.
Looking over at me, Joe shakes his head as if seeing me for the first time.
"Shit. Are you _sure_ you're Ken? I never thought I'd hear you talk that
way to the Doctor." 

	I shrug. "He's usually right, so I don't. This time, he wasn't. Okay?" He
mock-salutes and barely manages to duck my quick jab at his head. "What the
hell was that in there about degree? I don't believe in 'degree', got it?!
Follow my orders, or else I'll just keep on beating you up -- you know that."

	Joe manages to get tangle my feet up and make me crash into a nearby wall.
He pins me there, and growls, "Beating me up?" I look into his eyes and
smile at the dangerous, crazy-Joe that I see caged there. Doctor Nambu
should see that Joe before thinking any relationship is going to change the
essentials of what we have. He'll always challenge my authority when he
thinks he's right, and I'll always pound him back down, if he's wrong. 

	Following that chain of logic, I slip out from under him before crushing
his body against the same spot where mine had been. Holding him there, I
see the grudging acknowledgement of my strength in his eyes. Hell, this
isn't a combat situation, and there isn't anyone around... I notice the
same look in his eyes, and we both just sort of start to kiss. I wonder if
he noticed the silly grin I'd had on my face... 

------
JINPEI
------

	I know that we're not supposed to go running around Crescent Coral --
especially me. I don't think they've forgiven me for the last prank I
pulled. But come on! I'm a Ninja and if I can't get past a few guards and
scientists... 

	I leave Ryu and Sis to duke it out some more -- it's getting real
interesting when I leave, 'cause Sis is so fast that Ryu can't keep up, and
Ryu's so strong that Sis' kicks don't have any impact. I'm kinda bored, so
I go see what's happened to Joe-aniki and Ken-aniki. Dr. Nambu had sounded
real mad! I dunno why -- I mean, they were only a little late. 

	Dodging the people and making sure no one sees me occupies my mind until I
get to the floor of the Doctor's office. The scientists around here are
used to seeing me around -- I guess they think I'm their little mascot, or
something. Even the guards smile and wave me through, although, of course,
they make me go through the metal detectors. The guards aren't stupid.
They're not that bright either, though -- if they really thought about it,
one of the Science Ninja Team isn't going to be weaponless. We _are_ ninjas. 

	I wander around, trying to see where they are. I almost miss them by
walking past the corridor they're in, but I just manage to hear their
voices. I'm about to go bursting in on them when I get the feeling that I
should be careful. After all, if the Doctor had yelled at them, I'm not
sure how they're feeling right now.

	I see aniki holding Joe against the wall. Guess they're fighting again...
well, I- What are they doing? It looks like they're... Shit! I know what
Sis would think about my language, but... I've got to tell -- I dunno! I
mean, what... what... Sis!

	I run back as fast as I can, not even nodding to the guard who'd waved me
in before. When I get back to the training room, Ryu and Sis are both
sitting on the floor, exhausted. When Sis sees me run back in, her eyes
narrow in suspicion. "What have you done now, Jinpei? If the Doctor tells
me that you're pulled another prank, I'll-"

	"Joe- Ken- they- they- I-" 

	Ryu comes over and holds his hand over my mouth. "Calm down, Jinpei.
Okay?" I nod, and then he lets me go. "Take a few deep breaths, and tell us
what happened to those two."

	After taking a few -- okay, a LOT 0f deep breaths, I sigh and slump to the
floor. Playing with my shoe, I manage to mumble out, "Joe and aniki were...
they were kissing..." I raise my head to see the other two Ninjas'
reactions, not sure how to react myself. I mean, I... Joe and Ken?  

	Jun kneels down next to me, her voice full of conflicting emotion. "Are
you sure, Jinpei? You didn't see something else that-" I shake my head
fiercely. That was a kiss. NO doubting it. Her voice trails off and she
looks vaguely shocked. Ryu also looks a bit dazed, as if trying to figure
it out. They both leave me sitting there, wondering about everything...

	Finally, I ask, "Sis... I mean, is that okay for them to do?" I know about
gay people -- I'm not stupid, you know. But I don't know what I'm supposed
to think. A lot of people don't like them, and I know some kids have told
me that they can't fight, or that they're all girly, or... I'm just
confused. 'Cause if gay people are supposed to be like that, then how come
Ken-aniki and Joe-aniki can fight so well? I mean, you _don't_ want to be a
bad guy when they're around -- especially Joe. He's scary sometimes. 

	Sis is looking at me kinda strangely. She doesn't look very good -- I
guess 'cause aniki is with someone else. You'd have to be a real idiot not
to realize that my sister is in love with him. Still, I figured that he'd
have gone after her by now if he were interested so I'd just thought he
wasn't with anyone. I guess not. 

	I turn to Ryu instead. Sis definitely needs some time to think. "Ryu, I
mean, are they doing something wrong?" 

	He looks as if he's about to give me an answer, and then pauses. Finally,
he replies, "Some people might think so, Jinpei, but I don't. We have to
trust the members in our Team, right?" When I nod, he smiles. "Good. Now,
let's not mention this until Joe and Ken decide to let us in on the secret.
Why don't you go to Jun? She doesn't look too happy right now." 

---
RYU
---

	I watch Jinpei sit himself down next to his sister with a smile. He's a
good kid, that one, for all the smart-ass things he does. He _does_ get
himself into some sticky situation, doesn't he? Hell, more like he just
landed all of us in something that gonna be real messy. 

	Okay, I admit it. I'm not all that bright, and I'm certainly not the most
experienced. For all that I've seen and done, I'm still a country bumpkin
at heart. When I realized what Jinpei had seen, I think my brain overloaded
there for a bit. It's a stretch to even think of... God! How long has this
been going on? I would never have guessed -- not in a million years. I just
wouldn't have been able to.

	Still, even with all that, I'm glad I was able to put the kid's mind at
some ease. Jinpei's lucky -- when he's not being G-4, he's pretty much a
normal pre-teen. In this day and age, the idea of two men... together, I
guess -- it's not so terrible. With so many people being killed by
Galactor, there's been a shift in a lot of people's attitudes. If two guys
want to be together, it's their business -- after all, who knew how long
everyone was going to be around? It's a bit morbid, but you can't help
having that kind of idea in your head after hearing about such widespread
destruction. 

	I, on the other hand, can't help but be just a little shocked. Ken, maybe
-- okay, not maybe. I... I guess I have been wondering about him
subconsciously for a while. After all, the way he just ignores Jun, not to
mention -- well, anyway, I'm not so surprised. But Joe? He's the last
person I would have expected to be gay -- well, bi, I suppose. Considering
the sheer number of women that he's been involved with... well, better Ken
than another Galactor, right?

	Watching Jinpei comfort his still-shocked sister, I'm surprised at myself.
I almost expect myself to freak out at this -- I can't help but wonder if
I'm just having a delayed reaction or something. Still, I guess... well, I
guess I'm okay with Joe and Ken being together. 

	One thing you learn from being part of something like the Science Ninja
Team is that you trust your teammates. They'll be there to guard your back
while making sure you don't screw up. If they think they can deal with
having a relationship while everything's the way it is, then I can't really
say anything, can I? I may not be real comfortable with the idea, really,
but I don't wanna take away their happiness. 

	Of course, that's just me. Probably Jinpei too, 'though he's probably
annoyed that his aniki isn't going to be with his Sis. But Jun... that's
one mess that I don't want to even think about. If anything is going to
blow up 'cause of this, it'll be 'cause of what Jun does. If she gets
mad... well, I'm not really sure how much hurting the two are going to do
'cause of this, but it's not going to be pretty. At all. 

	Funny how 'holy shit we'd better get out of her way' comes to mind at the
thought of one royally-pissed off Jun with access to explosives and
electricity... I think I'm going to find something to eat. If no one's dead
by the time I get back, well... let's just hope that's how it'll stay. 

	"Jinpei, why don't you and I go grab something to eat? We'll take G-5 and
be back later. I think that your sister might want to speak with Ken and
Joe alone." 

	Jinpei looks at his sister, who looks as if she's barely hanging onto her
temper, and then nods. "Uh, yeah. Sis, I'll be back... um, later. Bye-" He
zips out of the room, not wanting to get flattened. 

	I go over to her and put a hand on her shoulder. "You all right? If you
want us to stay-"

	Her voice is ice and fire. "No, Ryu. Go. I'm going to have... a little
talk with our leader and his... with Joe." 

	I can be pretty damn quick when I have to be -- trust me, this is one of
those times. Jinpei and I both know enough to get out of that room _fast_.
It's better not to be where the wreckage can hit you, after all. Now, to
another important matter... "So, Jinpei. Where do you want to eat?" 

---
JUN
---

	I watch Ryu leave with a smile on my face. Even though I'm incredibly
confused at the moment, his obvious fear of my temper makes me want to
laugh. That fades quickly enough as my mind returns to what I've just heard.

	Ken. With Joe. Kissing. 

	I'm _almost_ tempted to go and beat the crap out of both of them... but I
don't. It wouldn't be lady-like, after all. Besides, they're going to come
down here anyway, so why make a spectacle of myself looking for them? It is
just so much more convenient for them to come to me before I start to hurt
them. A lot.

	I sit at the wall of the room that faces the door, not particularly caring
that my skirt hikes up if I sit in this cross-legged position. After all,
they've both demonstrated how little my display would affect them. Whose
idea was the skirt, anyway? It must have been a man. Not that I mind too
much -- I think I'd feel even worse without the mini -- after all, that
would have left me with just the leggings that the guys wear. Still, you
have to admit that it looks just a little ridiculous. At least I have boots
-- if they had tried to get me in heels on top of everything else, there
would definitely have been one member gone. 

	Dammit! I'm really angry. How could Ken have done this to me? And Joe,
too! Hell, with Joe, for gods' sake. I mean, I thought he was dense, or a
virgin, or something. If it had been something like that, then I could
accept his total lack of interest in me. But to have been having a
relationship with someone else...

	The worst part was that he hadn't told me. If he had, I would have been
mad, but I'd have gotten over it, sooner or later. I've had boyfriends
before, although I'll admit that only Kouji had come close to being more
than just casual dates. My infatuation with Ken -- that is what it is, and
I do know it -- is something that grew out of the fact that I admired his
strength of character so much. 

	I have an image in my head, of the a single, pure-white figure standing
between the darkness and the world. That is what attracted me to Ken so
much. He will not bend, will not yield to the destruction. He makes all of
us, including Joe, stronger, even if G-2 resists Ken's tempering discipline. 

	But for all that, there is a reason why I hadn't just asked him out. One
reason was the whole fraternization thing. I always felt like he wouldn't
become intimate with anyone until Galactor's threat was destroyed. Well,
that's one theory shot to hell. Another was the fact that even though I
admired leadership and power, Gatchaman isn't someone I could see on a date
with anyone. Ken, maybe, but not Gatchaman. 

	Ken... he's another reason all by himself. Once Gatchaman becomes Ken,
he's more like a brother in my eyes -- a delinquent, lazy brother who
doesn't do much beyond mooch off of Snack J and sit around at the counter.
He never seemed to not have any interest in women at all -- something that
probably should have tipped me off. Too bad I just ignored that... 

	It wasn't like I would have been heartbroken or devastated if Ken had just
come out and told me. Sure, I'm hurt. It's hard knowing that you don't have
a chance with someone you've been wanting for a long time. Still, our
friendship is too strong to break over something like this -- I would have
gotten over it. Now, it just hurts even more because he hadn't trusted me. 

	And Joe, too. That idiot. The fact Ken hadn't confided in me is something
that I can understand. He isn't terribly talkative about his life beyond
the Team, so I almost expect that kind of thing from him. But Joe! He
should have told me the truth instead of endlessly going on about the
latest girl he'd hopped in the sack with. How long had this game been going
on?

	I stand as I hear the two of them come into the room. Joe looks a little
mussed, while Ken's breathing harder than usual. I narrow my eyes, and I
can make out the traces of hickeys on both their necks. I'd almost be
tempted to laugh again if it weren't for the fact that I'm furious. After
all, that kind of thing is so high school it's funny. 

	"Ah, Jun. Where is everyone else?"

	Ken's voice is a touch uneasy and guilty. Actually, if you get right down
to it, the great Gatchaman sounds like my little brother after he broke
something. I'm just starting to find the whole thing ludicrous, but I have
enough anger left in me to maintain my control. 

	"Oh, Ryu and Jinpei went to get something to eat. You know how Ryu is when
he hadn't had anything to eat in at least an hour."

	Joe nods, and Ken sighs. "Discipline... we really have to talk to him
about that again."

	I feel one eyebrow raising, and consider my options. I could let them
think I don't know and try to see how I could have missed it before. Or, I
could confront them and beat the crap out of both of them. That really
sounds appealing. Or I could be rational about this... a mix of two and
three sounds just about right. Hey, a girl's got to have something fun to do.

	"Discipline, Ken? You really want to talk about discipline?"

	Ken gets a puzzled look on his face, and shrugs. "What do you mean, Jun?"

	I smile -- a bit enigmatically, I'm sure -- and wave his question away.
"Why don't we train a little more first while we wait for our two truants
to come back?" Before either of them can say anything in response, I launch
an attack at Joe, while targeting Ken immediately for the second wave. 

	Soon, we're all immersed in the intricacies of combat with equals. I don't
think I've ever fought so well, and the others notice. Trust me, anger is a
real good motivator, especially if you're involved in something which so
easily facilitates a desire to hurt... I grin and launch a kick at Ken's
groin that he barely manages to block. I almost stop after seeing Ken's
face, but then I realize I'm having much more fun nearly hurting him. 

	Finally, the two smarten up and gang up against me. They manage to corner
me and are about to come in for a two-pronged attack when I play my trump
card. "So, was Ken really good in bed last night or what, Joe?" They both
stop, slack-jawed, and I get in two solid hits which floor both of them.
Ken sits up first, hand at his aching jaw, while Joe is still somewhat
incapacitated by the kick I'd gotten in at his stomach. 

	"Jun... you- you know?" He sounds absolutely horrible. Guilty as hell -- I
can't help but wonder how he managed to hide it if this is how he acts the
second I confront him with it.

	"Yeah, I do. Is there anything else you'd like to let me know about you
two? Either of you also working for Galactor or something? I thought even
idiots like you would know to tell your teammates something as important as
this..." I look down at the pair of them, and my anger dissipates. I can't
help it -- they're just too pathetic. Ken was never mine in the first
place, except in my dreams... 

	"Uh... no." That comes from Joe, surprising me to no end. He's gotten up
as well, and he sounds almost as guilty as Ken. Maybe even more so...
"Trust us, we didn't plan it or anything -- it just happened, and we would
have told you even if you hadn't found out."

	"When? Next week? Next year?" At my harsh voice, both of them wince. The
look of near-panic that Ken throws at Joe tells me how on the mark my
comment had been. I'm tempted to just hit them both a few times more --
they're probably not going to stop me, after all. Still, the two of them
are my teammates. Hell, if they do go out looking all bruised, it'll seem
as if Galactors had actually managed to land a few hits. That kind of
publicity, the Science Ninja Team just _doesn't_ need. 

	"Fine. So, when was did this 'just happen'?" 

	"Last night." Ken's quiet, almost wistful voice elicits a grin from Joe, a
kind I've never really seen on his face. It was more gentle, less harsh,
although there was still a savage quality there beneath the surface. 

	"So, that's why you were late? Gods -- the both of you should try to
control yourselves!" My aggravated tone makes both of them blush -- even
Joe! That's a treat in and of itself, and is almost worth the hurt that I'd
felt before. Actually, no... it doesn't. But at least I know that this
hasn't been going on for that long. 

	I mean, I would like to think I'm more perceptive than that -- after all,
how long can a couple hide a relationship when belonging to a group like
ours? We're thrown together into high-stress situations, and have to be
around each other to train and be a team. I think that they would have
revealed themselves to us, even if they hadn't meant to... 

	"You- you're not mad, Jun?" 

	"Mad? Try angry. Furious. Absolutely raging. Incredibly beyond words
pissed off." 

	"Oh." The great Gatchaman is lost for words, and is looking around as if a
Galactor attack would be welcome right now. 

	"But I was more angry when I'd thought you hadn't told me. I'm still angry
because I know you wouldn't have told me the first time you'd had a
chance." The two of them blinks at me, not saying a word. I poke a finger
-- a bit harder than necessary, I suppose -- into Joe's chest. He winces,
but keeps silent. 

	"Do you think that anything like jealousy would keep me from my duty? Did
you really think that I was _that_ hung up on any man that I would
jeopardize our mission and the safety of Earth? Do I seem that shallow to
you?" Both of them are shaking their head frantically, as if to make sure
that I know absolutely that they would never believe such a thing.

	I let a small smile touch my lips as I transfer my stare to Ken
exclusively. "Do you really think you're so great a catch, that I'd do
something stupid over you? Don't be an idiot." He looks almost hurt, as if
his great male pride had just been injured. How ridiculous is that?

	"I'm still tempted to injure you permanently, of course." The sweet way I
say this might be what makes both of them back away from me. "I won't, but
don't say I didn't warn you if I go into a mad rage and decide to give both
of you a lot of pain later on." I grin. Can't have them feel too secure,
after all. Have I mentioned how angry I still am?

	The wary look Joe gives me attracts my attention. I pull him over to the
wall, a little away from Ken. "Now, you are going to give me details. If
he's not going to be mine, then you're going to tell me what I've missed."
At Ken's suddenly frantic expression, Joe starts to grin as well.

	"Well, he does this really silly little thing where-"

	"Joe!" Ken's yell is all the warning Joe gets before getting tackled. As I
watch them fight, I sigh. If they can still act this way, I guess I can
accept it. Not that I'm happy about it, or anything, but if I'm going to
lose Ken, it might as well be to a teammate. I can't believe I just said
that... 

---
JOE
---

	Ken has me pinned to the floor when I hear the door open again. Jinpei is
looking at us strangely, and Ryu is kinda avoiding looking at us at all.
Guess this isn't the best way they could have seen us after hearing...

	"Sis, are you okay?" Jinpei is at his sister's side, giving her a a
worried look. She smiles and nods, before turning her attention back at us.
Jinpei gaze also shifts back to us, a mix of curiosity and hostility. 

	"Let me guess -- you all know?" At their nods, I shrug. Well, it wasn't
like we were going to keep it a secret or anything -- too bad we couldn't
have told them ourselves. "How'd you find out?"

	Jinpei looks moderately ashamed as he replies, "I was kinda snooping
around looking for you, and I saw you... erm... kissing. You know, in the
hallway, and... um..." 

	"I see." Ken's voice is stern as he asks, "Jinpei, how many times have we
told you to stay put? You know you're not supposed to go wandering around
Crescent Coral -- do you realize how much could go wrong if you're
someplace where you're not supposed to be?" 

	Jinpei hangs his head, and then looks up with a mischievous smile. "Still,
aniki... it's fun!" Everyone sighs and Jun gives a helpless laugh before
knuckling him sharply. Jinpei grins even harder, before turning to me.
"Joe, did sis beat you up?" I nod and he whoops, "Go, sis!" Jun blushes,
but doesn't bother to smack him this time.

	Ken and I share an incredulous look -- I think we're both amazed at the
easy way everyone's taking this. As long as Doctor Nambu doesn't freak out
on us, I think we're actually okay. What a concept... 

	Jinpei looks ready to ask some more embarrassing questions when the screen
in the practice room goes on. "Team, there's been a Galactor attack. Please
come to my office now -- you'll have to leave almost immediately." We all
salute and he nods, all business. There can be no distractions while we're
fighting -- if any judgments come down on us from him, it'll be after the
mission. 

	Ken and I stay behind for just a moment as the other three hurry to the
briefing. 

	"We're going to be late again, you know." 

	I shrug. "Not that late." I give him a kiss before adding, "Don't get
yourself killed today."

	"Same to you." I nod. That's all we need to say before we follow our
teammates up -- that's all that's ever going to be said. We are part of the
Science Ninja Team, and that will always come first, no matter what. Maybe
one of these days, if we ever do manage to beat Galactor, we'll be able to
say more. But not until then.

	Maybe it's a weakness for me to start thinking of a life after Galactor's
destruction. It's not been a looming factor in my life so far, but now...
well, I actually have something to look forward to. Kinda strange, but I
find myself liking it. Maybe I'll even teach him to cook, so that we can
get rid of those awful ramen cups...

-----
NAMBU
-----

	I usually watch the recordings from the practice room to see how much
they've learned and improved in their combat skills. Having done so now, I
realize how little I know about all of them, and how much I've forced them
to grow up in exchange for the safety of the Earth. How little tolerance I
have -- that is also something I see, even if I'd rather not face it. 

	After seeing Jun's wholehearted reaction, I find myself wondering why I am
having such a problem with this. Jinpei's innocent curiosity and Ryu's
home-grown wisdom all make me wonder why I, a certified "genius" with
another lifetime of experience, can't accept a simple relationship when the
people who will most be affected by this can, and did, so easily. 

	I pause the tape at the quick, touching scene between Ken and Joe. I force
myself to watch it, to hear the real concern and half-hidden pain behind
the words. I've heard that tone before when wives and husbands of soldiers,
preparing to lose their mates, said their last good-byes. It hurts me to
realize that for my Team, everyday could be such a time. 

	I've dealt with that guilt before -- compartmentalized it and let it sit
in the dark. I can't do anything about it, and refuse to let the anguish
stop me from doing my job. There isn't anyone else at the gate between the
attack and home -- we are all there is. If we fail, there is no one else.
If only because of that, I have let my heart become cold, refusing to feel. 

	I can't let weakness affect my judgment and cloud my thinking. If all of
them have to die, so be it. I will mourn their loss for as long as I live,
far more intensely than any of them realize. I will grieve but I will
sacrifice them -- the queen can be taken as long as the king stays safe. 

	But if they have found happiness, I see the wrong in trying to prevent
them from experiencing it. No matter that it might end up as so many
relationships do -- I see Team's strength now, and know that they won't let
themselves destroy Earth for the sake of their arguments, whatever they may
be. 

	Perhaps the children are making me grow as well -- a small price to pay
for the far greater burden they are willing to bear. Leaning back in my
chair, I look out and gaze at the ocean creatures swimming merrily on their
way. My headache is quite gone, now. I see their smiles at each other, and
think for a moment of a world without Galactor. 
 
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Monica/Akira-chan/Heero/Hayama/Naga/Kircheis no Miko- Proud TABBE! Member
monica@pipeline.com, mshin02@uclink4.berkeley.edu, knomiko@yahoo.com (alt)
http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/ - main web page ^_^
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