At 01:47 PM 8/24/98 PDT, Philip Hacker wrote:

Here is Chapter 1 of my new series, Ranma-kun Change, which is a fusion 
between Ranma and Futaba-kun Change. The majority of characters are from 
Ranma, but the initial situations are more like FKC. You'll see what I 
mean. Your C$C is welcome, but please, no typo complaints!

Interesting. I think I once saw someone attempt a crossover, but I haven't
seen anyone try a fusion yet. BTW, all I've seen of Futaba-kun Change are
the two issues that Iron Cat has put out.

Just a few comments about characterization follow.

**********


Ranma-kun Change!

A Futaba-kun Change/Ranma 1/2 Fusion


by Phil Hacker

**********

Most of the characters in this series are from Ranma 1/2, but the
personalities of many have been slightly altered to fit within the roles
established by the fusion with Futaba-kun Change. The following details
are significant at this time:

Be careful that your changes aren't so great that an old, familiar
character doesn't become an original character with an unoriginal name.

1.  Ranma lives at the Saotome home with both parents.
2.  None of the characters have Jusenkyou curses.
3.  There is no arranged marriage between Ranma and Akane, for
reasons that will soon become obvious.
4.  Ranma and Kunou are friends, although Kunou still wants Akane.

Hmm...considering both boys arrogance, and the fact that they've only known
each other for a month, *and* the fact that Kuno is currently pursuing
Akane, someone Ranma is supposedly interested in, I really don't see how
four is possible.

**********

Ranma-kun Change, Volume 1

Part 1: Ranma-kun Changes



It was a typical morning at Fuurinkan High. All around was the typical
hustle and bustle of students rushing to their last class before lunch. 
In
room 1-F, Ranma sat in his seat, paying more attention to the girl in
front of him than to the teacher.

Ack! It's the dreaded *typical* morning! Besides being the most overused
word in the opening paragraph of Ranma fanfiction, you've used it twice,
almost back to back! Double ack!

Even though he had only been at Fuurinkan High for a month, the bulk
of the last several years of his life having been spent wandering about
the far corners of the globe with his father in an attempt to hone his

So the backstory of Ranma 1/2 is intact? Minus Jusenkyo?

martial arts skills, he was absolutely sure of one thing: he liked Akane
Tendou. Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, mind you, but she was
wonderful. So beautiful, so graceful, so sweet... except when a boy
approached her. At best, she was all business when that happened. At
worst... well, let's just say that no man was safe around Akane at her
worst. He just couldn't get it. Besides, with half of the boys at 

Hmm... maybe swap "couldn't" for "didn't". And double check your formatting
here, please.

Fuurinkan
High chasing after her, he didn't have a chance. Well, a man could
dream...

Er, is she, or is she not fighting off the horde of pursuers each morning?
And if she is, why hasn't Ranma attempted to help her? You should take
pains to make sure Akane isn't merely Misaki with a different name.

A chalkboard eraser sailed through the air and whacked Ranma upside
the head, shaking him out of his daydream. He looked up at Miss
Hinako, who seemed to be quite angry at him.

"Saotome! Ranma Saotome! What are you daydreaming about? Pay
attention to the lesson, not the girls! The lesson!"

"Yes, Miss Hinako," he replied in a small voice. The rest of the class
burst out laughing.

'She... she laughed at me,' Ranma thought.

Who did? If you're referring to Akane, you need to make it a little more
clear. If you mean Ms. Hinako (and that's who it seems Ranma is referring
to at first), there's little reason for Ranma to acted so stricken in
response.

"Kiin Koon Kaan Koon!" The school bell rang, dismissing the students
for lunch. Hiroshi, three seats over, immediately got up and approached
Ranma. "Raanmaaa!" he called.

"What d'ya want?"

Hiroshi grabbed Ranma and placed him in a tight headlock. "Who were
ya looking at in class anyway?"

While I can accept a major overhaul in Hiroshi and Daisuke, them being
minor characters at best in the original series, why are you changing Ranma
so much? You seem to be following the Futaba-kun Change storyline a little
too closely here. It's just the FC characters with different names. You've
already said that in this timeline, Ranma did indeed go on the ten year
training trip with his father, so he should still be the best martial
artist in the school. The following fight sequence should play out
differently. Make it clear that Ranma is just playing with Hiroshi, they
end up wrestling on the floor, and Ranma ends up under Akane's skirt.
(Actually, you do do something like this, I just think it needs to be made
a bit clearer about who is in control. Hiroshi putting Ranma in an armlock
seems a bit much for example.)

"Whaddya mean 'who'?"

"Don't play dumb with me, Ranma. It's written all over your face!"

"You think I'm gonna tell *you*?"

Hiroshi twisted Ranma's arm backward. "It was that girl, Akane, wasn't
it? She's gotta be the most popular girl in school. Who else could it 
be?"

"Oww!... You think I *want* to look at that macho, uncute tomboy?!
You got another thing coming, pal."

Now this was uncalled for. Why is Ranma insulting Akane so strongly? In the
series, Ranma, in general keeps the insults in check unless someone insults
him first. (Of course, since, in general, everyone *does* insult him...)
For that matter, he's not exactly being quiet here, Akane should
righteously pound him for this.

"Ooooh, so you *do* have a crush on her. Figures."

"Think again!" Ranma's fist flew out to punch Hiroshi directly between
the eyes. Hiroshi retaliated by throwing a punch at Ranma. Ranma
ducked, and slid across the floor, finally coming to a stop beneath
Akane, who had been standing nearby, watching them.

"Kyaaa!" Akane quickly pushed down her skirt. "How dare you look up
my skirt, you pervert!" She waved her fist at Ranma. Then, in a small
voice, she said, "D...did you...see anything?

Erk! What happened to Akane? Assuming she's fighting off the admirers every
morning, I'd think her instincts here would be pretty strong. Namely, pound
first, question later.

"A... a little..." Ranma replied in an equally small voice. Then, 
regaining
his composure, he said, "Why would I want to look up your skirt,
anyway? It's not like there's anything I want to see."

Format error in there. Also, remember, this is a Ranma who doesn't see a
beautiful, naked girl everytime he takes a bath. Girls are going to be
quite a bit more mysterious to him, especially considering his long years
on the road. I'd think he'd be more likely to blush and stammer, rather
than attack her with words.

"Why you--!" Akane reached up to slap Ranma.

Nabiki, who had been standing in the doorway all this time, decided to
speak up. "This is an outrage! You should demand consolation money!"

Um, no. This is probably your weakest part right here. You've basically
done nothing more than given a name change to Noregi (sp?). Putting Nabiki
in her place was good, but she should try and make money in a Nabiki sorta
way, not a Noregi way. Basically, you need to rewrite this scene and make
it your own, rather than simply copy down the dialogue from the manga.

"Nabiki-chan!" Akane reprimanded.

"Keep quiet, Akane! You see, Ranma, now that you've peeked under
her skirt, don't think you're getting off for nothing! Get it? We demand
compensation! A girl's privacy is valuable..."

Kunou appeared out of nowhere. "Such an accident was unavoidable, as
one of my standing can clearly see," he said.

What's Akane's response to Kuno's defense? She does have a tendency to
speak her mind. This is another pitfall of simply changing names and
reprinting dialogue, you're missing chances to make the scene different and
unique.

Strangely enough, I can rather easily see Kunou speaking "True Man"'s lines.

"What?!" Nabiki demanded.

"Our comrade Saotome has just given Hiroshi a splendid demonstration
of his martial arts talent! That he was in a position to see under the 
lady
Akane's skirt was merely a coincidence and hence unavoidable!"

"Kunou! Ya know, that actually made sense," Ranma said.

"I tell you a girl who's been looked at like that may very well cry 
herself
to sleep!" Nabiki retorted.

Kunou folded his arms. "Bah! How could someone be so badly hurt by
just being looked at?"

"How can you say that?!"

"That's enough, Nabiki!" Akane snapped.

Looking at Ranma, Akane spotted a rip in the crotch of his pants,
probably caused when he ht the floor. "Ewww!"

Somehow, I see Ranma going through a *lot* of school uniforms.

<snip>

'There was only one more day to go, too...' Akane thought dismally.
'Could he have seen the name tag? He only got a glimpse, so he
probably couldn't even make out the characters. But if Ranma-kun of all
people saw it!' She thought of the tag again. Ranma would definitely be
her last choice to see the tag pinned to her panties. After all, it was 
his
name written on it.

So Akane has already fallen for Ranma? Perhaps because he's one of the few
boys who *doesn't* attack her every morning? 

***

Ranma sat by himself under a tree, entirely absorbed in his own
thoughts, such as they were. 'Once again I've made myself look like a
total idiot in front of Akane! I'll never live this one down...'

<snip>

"Oh yeah! Hey Ranma! You can borrow these for the rest of the day!
Take your time and enjoy it!" Hiroshi tossed the photos to Ranma."
But don't get them dirty!"

'What a great bunch of guys!' Ranma thought.

Hmm... somehow, I really can't see, no matter what reality, Kunou willingly
giving up pictures of Akane. Hiroshi and Daisuke on the other hand... 
I suggest you dump Kunou from the above scene and just involve H&D instead.
Again you seem to be following the FC manga a little too closely, without
taking into account the different personalities of the Ranma crew. Keep the
Akane pictures though, that works nicely. Though I think it'd be more
likely that Ranma would beat H&D up(just a light pounding) and "confiscate"
the pictures from them for being perverts, than simply go along with them.
Of course, the next scene can flow from either version.

***
The picture showed Akane taking a bath, *completely* naked.

Ranma's conscience immediately told him that he should stop looking at
the picture, out of respect for Akane, but his curiosity was stronger.

Would Nabiki really go that far? In the original she didn't. And with good
reason, being sisters, Akane would kill Nabiki if she found out about this.
No amount of blackmail would stop her. How about something a little tamer,
like Akane in a bath towel? Remember, Ranma is pretty much an innocent when
it comes to girls since he's fresh off the road and minus the curse. A
little leg, a flash of breast and he's gone.

She was... so beautiful. She was slender, but not skinny, lean muscle
filling in the places where fat had been. Not that she was muscle-bound,
mind you. On the contrary, she was quite curvy and well-stacked. What
muscle she had seemed to convey a sense of power and independence,
things that were not traditional in Japanese women, but ranked high in
Ranma's scale of values.

Like this description, though I think that last "in" should be "on".

'Gee, all that beauty and strength. No wonder everybody's going gaga
over her.'

"Doki doki doki doki" Ranma began to feel dizzy.

"Wha--?"

*doki-doki-doki-doki-dokundokundokundokundokun*

"I-- I feel so hot! It-- it...hurts!" He clutched his chest in pain.

He thinks this, or says it out loud?

Gasping, he collapsed onto the floor with a dull thud.

***

<snip>

Their suspicions were confirmed when Hinako pulled out a fifty-yen
coin and pointed it at Hiroshi. "You guys always hang out together! Do

Maybe "delinquents" instead of "guys"?

you know where he is?"

Hiroshi steeled himself. If Hinako didn't believe him... "It is 
regrettable,
but even if I did know, honor prevents me from answering. No true
martial artist would ever betray a comrade. However, I believe that
wherever Ranma Saotome is, he is off bettering himself somehow.
Maybe you should ask the 'Blue Thunder'."

Ah! Martial Arts Buck Passing! Good one! *grin*

Hinako lowered the coin, much to the relief of her students. "Very well,
then. Tendou?"

"Present!" Akane replied. 'I wonder what's wrong,' she thought. 'Did he
get his pants fixed okay?' Suddenly remembering something, Akane
grabbed a book from her bag and flipped through it.

"...By these three charms you and he shall be drawn closer together...
That's it! It has to be!"

I think you got a thought mixed in with a quote from a book there.

***

<snip Ranma's 'discovery'>

***

<snip bathroom scene that is so Ranma that it doesn't need to be changed>

Though I would suggest going back and making Kunou's speech a bit more
flowery.

***

Akane had left her classroom in search of Ranma. She passed Nabiki's
classroom. At that moment, Nabiki happened to be standing in the
doorway. "Hey, Sis! Whatcha doing?" she asked as Akane passed by.

A note on style tendencies, try not to repeat verbs too often, in this
case, "passed".

<snip because I have nothing to say about it>

***

Much later, Kunou and Hiroshi had reformed outside the clinic.

"Well, this is the only place in the school that we have yet to search,"
Kunou said as they entered the clinic. "Hello? Is anybody in here?" he
called.

Meanwhile, Akane was still wandering the halls in search of Ranma,
although she wouldn't admit it to anyone who asked.

'Where could Ranma have gone without his pants?' she thought.

Oooh! *grin* Now there's a line for a .sig if I ever saw one!

<snip>

Nodoka turned and called down the stairs. "Dear! Ranma has grown
up!"

"Huh?" Why wasn't Nodoka confused? After all, it isn't every day that
your son turns into a woman... isn't it?

Shouldn't "Nodoka" be "mom" or "his mother" instead? And I believe that
last "isn't it?" should simply be "is it?".

***

A moment later, Ranma, male once again, and his entire family were
assembled in the livingroom. Of course, that wasn't saying much,
considering that Ranma was an only child.

Hmm... no sexually aggressive sister in this one, I see.

Genma laughed. "Wahahahahah! This is a day to celebrate! Is it true?
Has our son finally come of age? I was hoping it would be soon! That's
why I was in such a hurry to get back form our training journey last
month. Dear, is there any more red beans and rice left, or did I eat it 
all?

"You ate it all, dear," Nodoka replied.

"Darnit! Well, then make some more!"

"But Pop! What's going on?" Ranma asked. "I don't understand it!
How the hell could something like this happen?"

"What? You mean that you don't understand *yet*!? Now that you've
matured, your body will change into the opposite sex whenever you
become tense or excited. It's a genetic trait in our family!"

"G... Genetic trait!?!"

"Your mother and I, and now you, we all change in this way! You've
lived with us all your life and you haven't noticed?! A martial artist 
is
supposed to be observant! How can you be observant if you can't even
notice a simple thing like that, pray tell?!"

I'll say. He traveled for his father for how long and he never saw his
father change once?
(Of course, this raises the question of what all Genma has been up to in
his untraceable female form. Like making engagements perhaps...)

Ok, everyone reading this pause for a second and contemplate this image:
Genma, as a woman. *shudder*

"Well, I uh..."

"Now, boy, what I have to say to you may come as a bit of a shock, but
I have to tell you that...

Nodoka smiled.

"...As a matter of fact, -I- was the one who gave birth to you!"

AAAAAHHH!!! Genma is a *mother*!? BWAHAHAHA!!!

This was way too much for Ranma to handle. The full impact of what
his father said began to sink in. It all made sense in a twisted sort of
way. It explained why they had kept moving from place to place during
their training trip: that way he wouldn't form any lasting relationships
with anyone that might cause trouble later. It also explained why his
father had kept insisting that he never reveal any feelings that he 
might
have about a girl to anyone, if he was to become one himself.

If what his father said was true, he was doomed from birth to turn into 
a
woman *any* time that he became excited. He tried briefly to imagine
what it would be like. He couldn't.

Then, he fainted.

A perfectly understandable reaction!

[End Part 1]

**********

Well, this chapter turned out to be a little more like the Futaba-kun
change story than I would have liked, but I managed to work the Ranma
characters' personalities in, including details like Kunou's dialect,
Genma's attitude toward Ranma, and Hinako's gojuu-yen satsu,
although the Futaba-kun elements continued to dominate. I hope to get
away from this soon. If anybody has any ideas for making it a little 
more Ranma-like at this stage, they would be welcome.

Hmm... you have to remember to use the plot of FC as a *guide* not as
something to be followed letter by letter. Once you've put the Ranma
characters into the initial starting spots of the FC characters, the Ranma
crew will take the story in a whole different direction. Remember, for all
the wierdness that surrounds them once the story starts, Misaki and Futaba
both start out as normal junior-high students. Ranma and Akane are anything
but at the beginning of their series. Even without the curse, Ranma is
still going to stick out like a sore thumb, and Akane is going to get
attacked by the boys regardless of how Ranma starts. I'm just suggesting
that you have to write the story using *some* elements of Ranma in order to
keep the story from simply being FC with a different set of names and
faces, and keeping the characters as close to their original
characterizations is a good place to start. Remember, if you make too many
changes to things, the whole story will fall apart, or at least not be
recogizably a fusion.

Well, I've blathered on long enough. Hope this helps. 

Phil

prohackr@hotmail.com

----------

Scott Pollert [pollerts@hsonline.net]