"Anand Rao" <deranged_otaku@hotmail.com> wrote:

Hey Gary,

Liked this chapter, better than any of the previous ones.  I think it 
shows that you, more than many, many, other writers keep the Ranma crew 
IC when writing...  The 'proposal' scene is a great example.

Thanks... I like these characters, so I try very hard to stay in tune
with the spirit of the characterizations.

Big romantic moment?

Close enough.

That scene had me laughing really hard.  It serves as a perfect 
counter-point to all the WAFFy, completely OOC Ranma and Akane match ups 
that get written.  In my mind, this is the way it would happen.  I 
really don't see them declaring their undying love for each other any 
time soon.

I agree. It seems like just about all Ranma/Akane matchups are either
WAFFy, or have the two arguing constantly. I wanted to do something in
the middle, more in the spirit of the original work.

This seems very familiar for some reason.  Didn't RT write a manga story 
about some woman you ran a wedding chapel?

Yup. I referenced it in the author's notes.

Day after day, Akane did what was required of her. Day after
day, a star would be added to the piece of paper, and her parents 
would tell her how wonderfully she was doing. She loved the >attention 

she got.

Until one day. No more praise. No more stars.

No more mother.

-Very- nice scene here.  

Thanks. It was an outgrowth of a class on educational psychology, where
we learned all the reasons that controlling students with rewards is a
bad idea.

"Fine, whatever," Ranma grumbled. "I don't really care whether
you train or not, y'know!"

Akane kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Ranma. I appreciate
that." She walked out, leaving behind a very confused fiance.

Wow, I'm surprised that they're already that intimate, dispite the fact 
that they're getting married.  Ah well, my biases are showing again. 

Yeah, they do have some nice moments in the original series.

Okay, I understand why you brought Koichi into the story, it was a nice 
way getting Akane on towards maturity, but why the paragraphs of 
detailed description on him?  Or is he another cameo from another 
series? 

Nah, I just wanted to give the guy an attempt at some depth, instead of
letting him be a complete jerk. This bit was added in the revision, and
I'm not sure if I'll keep it or not. Any opinions for or against,
anyone?

Even though Kaede is your own creation, I'd say you went OOC here, no 
one, I repeat, no one, would want to marry happosai.

Well, every Ataru has his Lum... of course, Kaede *could* have been
pretending in order to get rid of Happosai.

"Oh my. I'll get some hot water," Kasumi said.

LOL!  Of course, it just had to happen...

Yep. It was inevitable. :-)

Anyway, no problems here Gary, I thought it was great!  Looking forward 
to seeing this thing get underway!  

Me too! Too bad it won't write itself. :)

Thanks for the commentary!

Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics