Konatsu Masquerade Soliloquy II:  Ukyou

It was a proud day indeed when Ukyou-sama summoned me to the kitchen 
shortly after Ranma and Akane's wedding.

"Take off that kimono, Konatsu."

I misunderstood her meaning, and my eyes goggled.  "Ukyou-sama... what 
are you saying...?"

She quickly backed up a step, and waved her hands in front of her, 
laughing and blushing furiously.  "No, no, no... nothing like that, 
Konatsu."  She waved her hand toward a coat rack in the corner.  On it 
was hanging an exact replica of her own okonomi-yaki seller's costume.  
"I ordered this from a local uniform shop, and it's finally arrived.  
I think you're ready to work side by side with me rather than just as 
a waitress..." and she winked at me.

"Go ahead, try it on... I want to see if it fits; I gotta return for 
alterations it if it doesn't, ya know, and they only give me so much 
time for that..."

I removed my kimono, and put the leggings and the robe on in a daze.  
She thought I was worthy of this!  I was overwhelmed.  The outfit was 
perfect... I looked almost like Ukyou-sama.  Well, almost...

She held out her hand to me.  In it was a white hair ribbon.  "Here ya 
go.  This'll finish it off..."  She walked over to me, and gently 
pulled the flowers and ribbons out of my hair.  She then grasped the 
whole of it, like a sheaf of wheat, and tied this new white ribbon 
around it.  "There ya go, sugar...

"Let's have a look atcha, ne?"  She stepped back to appraise her work 
and nodded approval.  "Super..."  She waved atme to indicate a nearby 
mirror, and I went over to it...

...and saw two Ukyous staring back at me.  The one in the foreground 
wore a expression of perplexed amazement, while the other Ukyou off to 
the side was still nodding in satisfaction at her creation.  I turned 
back to her.

"Ukyou-sama... I can't believe this!  Thank you!"  I dropped to my 
knees and bowed.  "I will do everything in my powers to be worthy of 
this honor you have bestowed upon me."

Ukyou-sama sighed.  "Get up, Konatsu... this is only gonna be half the 
battle.  You've gotta learn how to cook like me, now, too."  She 
grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet.  "Now, let's get on with 
things, shall we?"

***

For the next few weeks, we worked in tandem.  Every move she made, I 
shadowed, until I could copy all of her patterns without looking.  
Every so often, I could feel her presence retreating, stepping back to 
see how I would handle the next order on my own.  And in all humility, 
I would say I acquitted myself well.  Our business began to grow, as 
word spread of the 'twin Ucchans' performance.  And with both of us 
behind the grill, we were prepared.

***

It was a rainy, blustery day outside.  The kind of day that persuaded 
your ordinary mortals to stay indoors at all costs.

But Ukyou-sama was no mere mortal.  She set a portable grill down by 
my futon that morning with a clang that bolted me awake.

"Come on, 'Natsu-chan, get up... we're going on holiday."

I must have looked awfully puzzled at that.  "Holiday?"

She shrugged.  "Or you can call it a training journey, if you prefer.  
C'mon... you gonna sit around in bed all day, or what?  Grab your 
grill and let's go."

As I clambered to my feet, picking up the grill as I rose, I made a 
mental note of the fact that, through the kitchen window, it was still 
dark.  I doubted the storm was *that* severe; it must be awfully early 
in the morning.  I began to wonder if Ukyou-sama had even gotten to 
sleep.

Daylight had broken by the time we reached our destination, although 
you would hardly know from the skies.  The wind and the rain were 
howling furiously, and the ocean was crashing against the promontory 
upon which we set our grills.

Ukyou had poised hers precariously on the edge of the rocks.  If a 
wave came in too high, she would be in serious danger.  She lit her 
grill, and turned to me, screaming to be heard over the wind and 
waves:  "Now watch me!  Do everything I do, okay?!"  After the past 
few weeks, she hardly had to tell me, but I nodded and fired up my own 
grill.

We spent the better part of the day fighting the elements as we 
prepared okonomi-yaki that, it occurred to me, no one would ever eat.  
The waste saddened me, but when I tried one of my creations during a 
brief lull, it was so waterlogged as to be unpalatable even for me.  
<So,> I thought, <these are the sacrifices of training...>

Ukyou-sama, for her part, never even bothered tasting her work.  She 
was preparing okonomi-yaki at a frantic pace, all the while yelling 
down the wind.  With her back to me, I couldn't make out all that she 
was saying, but I'm sure I caught Ranma's name once or twice, and a 
fair number of unprintable words as well.

Finally, late in the afternoon, the rains subsided, as did the 
breakers against the rocks.  Ukyou turned off her grill, and dumped 
the bucket she had filled with okonomi-yaki into the sea.  "Here ya 
go, fishies!" she screamed, "Take it, compliments of the Ucchan!"

She turned to me, and picked up my bucket.  "How'dja do here?  Hmm... 
not bad."  It wasn't quite as full as hers, but apparantly it was 
close enough, even in her eyes.  Again, she heaved its contents into 
the water.

"Okay, Konatsu... that'll do.  You've done very well.  Let's get back, 
now, shall we?"  I tried not to stare at her as we made our way back 
to the Ucchan, but I noticed her eyes were tinged with red.  I 
realized that the dampness on her face had not been merely rain or sea 
or sweat... but if she wasn't going to say anything about it...

***

In time, the novelty of the 'twin Ucchans' wore off a bit, and our 
clientele dropped back to the old regulars and a handful of new ones. 
With business at a relatively slow pace, it didn't  surprise me when 
Ukyou-sama opened the store wearing one of the fancy kimonos she had 
given me to wear when I was working as a waitress.  She had pulled 
her hair back in a long ponytail as well; in fact, she almost looked 
the way *I* used to.  Several customers actually confused us, but 
when I tried to correct them, I was met with a rather harsh glare 
from Ukyou-sama.  I was stilled in a hurry, but I had to wonder
why...

***

This went on for a while; I worked behind the grill, creating 
okonomi-yaki with as much panache as a could muster, while Ukyou-sama 
relegated herself to the role of 'draw girl', even to the point of 
enduring customers' invariably addressing her as "Konatsu-chan."

One night, I was busy cleaning down the grill while Ukyou-sama took 
care of the dishes in the back room.  When I finished up, I walked 
into the kitchen, to find all the dishes neatly cleaned and stacked, 
but no sign of Ukyou-sama.  All I ever found was a small piece of 
paper on my old futon with three little words scribbled on it in her 
handwriting:

"Tell no one."

I searched long and hard through the streets of Tokyo that night.  
And every night thereafter.  I felt honor-bound to respect her 
wishes, and so I never told the police.  But night after night, you 
might hear the wind on a calm night, as I continue my search for my 
missing mistress.  But day after day, I am Ukyou-sama myself, 
pretending everything is normal, serving up okonomi-yaki with even 
the same broken heart she must have carried for so long, carrying out 
her second dream in her stead, the dream she abandoned to me for... 
what?

And people still come into the Ucchan these days, and ask me the 
fateful question: "Hey, Ukyou... where's Konatsu these days?"

And I respond, with total honesty, "I have no idea."

==========

"And they say
 Life's made of cruel circumstance.
 Fate plays the tune, and we dance,
 Dance, till we drop in the dust, and we're gone,
 and the world... just... goes on..."

         from "Christmas at Denny's" by Randy Stonehill


Cruel indeed... while I was halfway through writing this second 
Soliloquy, my real-life Konatsu was struck by a car while cycling.  
Thank God there were no broken bones, just a severed tendon and 
severely torn skin on the left foot.  But it means being on crutches 
for several weeks, and the days of leaping from rooftop to rooftop 
are more or less over.  It's going to restrict me as far as my 
writing goes too, as I now have Konatsu *and* Dan-chan to take care 
of (not that my writing's been all that torrential these days, 
anyway).  

We're not gonna let this cramp our style, though; we're still gonna 
attend AnimeIowa98 in four weeks (whoa, that soon?)  I'll still be 
out here lurking, too; I'm not planning on dropping out like Bobbi-
kun (a.k.a. Lurker-san)(gosh, I'll miss him) at any rate, the Critic 
Under the Bridge hasn't slammed me -- whether I'm beneath or beyond 
him is left to conjecture, I guess -- so I see no reason to toss the 
baby out with the bathwater.

Enough for now, I guess... I need to check on Dan-chan... I hear 
giggling downstairs: he's having way too much fun to not be getting
into trouble...

Itsu mo,
Ucchan   ^_^