-------------------------------------------------------------------------
* Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction * Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction *
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Switch: Odds and Ends: Tree (a divergence) by Nikholas "Switch" F. Toledo
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Plea$e do remember that Ranma 1/2 is a trademark and a copyright of and
by $ome big name people and companie$ I am not even worthy to introduce.
Anybody who $ay$ that I took any of their $tuff better not find me
hiding. Also, great thanks to whoever reads this and likes it, good
thanks to whoever reads it anyhow, and teeny-weeny thanks to whoever else
even saw this. The roads diverged in a yellow woo. I took some-not-all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would've come here sooner if I knew you were here
---------------------------------------------------
Ryoga looked into Ukyo's eyes and said, "..."
She blinked. "You... you..."
The hand flashed, and soon he was airborne. "LECHER!"
Ukyo stomped off to the other side of the public bathtub.
Ryoga wondered what all the fuss was about. He just wanted to
borrow some soap.
Speaking of the
----------------
"CURSE YOU, RANMA SAOTOME!"
Ukyo turned to the shout. Ranma Saotome, here in her own junior
high school graduation trip? She rushed to the cliff.
"RANMA, NOW YOU WILL - huh?"
There was no one there. If she had noticed the "Avalanche prone!"
sign, she might have looked down. She just didn't feel like
rubbernecking quite then.
Delicate lotus blossom
----------------------
"Here," the 500-yen coin landed softly onto the ragged young
beggar's palm. Ukyo walked away smartly, a smile in her mind's eye.
Ryoga woke up under the shade in the park. "What th-?" He quickly
pocketed the coin, and picked up his gear, wondering where the forest he
had slept in had gone.
A special new beginning
-----------------------
The mighty sea bellowed its righteous fury.
"Take that! And that! AND THAT!" The oversized cooking implement
waved and wove through the wave with unbelievable maneuverability.
The tide ebbed, ready for its next charge.
The heated platter boiled and bristled under the humidity caused by
the salt breeze. The okonomiyaki was unscathed.
"Uh..."
Ukyo turned, "WHAT IS IT? CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M A MARTIAL ARTIST
IN TRAINING HERE?!"
Ryoga wanted to ask whether or not the okonomiyaki was for sale,
since he was quite hungry. Unfortunately, the tide came in and swept him
away.
Funny things that happened on the way to the train station
----------------------------------------------------------
"Shoot!" the long-haired student bewailed of the weather in
general. "And me without an umbrella. What's that?"
To the other side of the deserted platform, a red bamboo umbrella
made an audible *clunk* as it landed, opened.
Funny, she thought, I was sure there was someone there...
Ukyo picked up the umbrella, compensating for the unusual
weightiness, unable to hear the wails of a piglet who had slipped, mainly
because the train had arrived.
One that got away
-----------------
Ukyo noticed a scratching at the door.
Opening it, she saw a peculiarly colored dog, black on one side,
white on the other.
"You hungry, girl?"
The dog shook its head, and zoomed inside.
"Hey! Not so fast!" But Checkers was much too fast for her.
Unfortunately, the navigational wonder could not find the stairs,
and so had to quickly flee the irked okonomiyaki chef's battle spat, and
her claims of vagrancy.
In Ukyo's closet in her room on the second floor, thumps and
screams could be heard.
Pillar of caterpillars
----------------------
"Where am I now?"
Ryoga ambled out of the forest only to end up...
"AIGH!" He lost his balance, but didn't fall into the pond.
Luckily, there were some stones in the pond he was able to lean on, with
one arm and one leg.
Ukyo ran into the fairy pond. She had already figured what she was
going to do - she was going to use superior speed.
The hurrying chef didn't notice the lost boy, stepping soundly onto
the center of his back. He sought to regain his balance by leaning his
other arm on a nearby stone - but the stone floated away.
"WHAT THE-?" *sploosh*
"Huh?" said Ukyo as she cleared the obstacle. She turned back,
but did not see the submerged martial artist cum porkchop. Setting her
sights back on the castle in the distance, the sound of easy money guided
her on.
Yellow pages
------------
At the reception desk of the Japan-wide "Super Once-in-a-Lifetime
Mega-Spectacle Tournament of Oddly-Assorted Esoteric Martial-Arts and
Their Respective Representatives Fighting for Worldwide Recognition", she
was being interrogated by a bespectacled man in white.
"Name?"
"Ukyo Kuonji," and she was proud of it. She was even proud of
being a female, puffing up her chest at the man's questioning glance.
He ticked off "definitely female" in the sheet.
"Martial Arts Discipline?"
"Martial-Arts Okonomiyaki Preparation, Cooking and Assemblage."
He nodded, filled out a name tag which said "Feared Martial Artist
Ukyo, Okonomiyaki-do", gave it to her, then pointed to a group that
looked mostly to be of dock-workers, fishermen and chefs. "Over there."
Ukyo ambled off, and the man ticked off the box with "Foodstuffs",
then turned to the next man.
"Mortal, shudder under the righteous fury of Koji Fujisawa, master
of Martial-Arts Slinky CommfF?!" The thinnish man with the colorful
coils got shunted off to the "Branded Items" bunch (and got into a nasty
but highly edible fight with the master of SPAM), without anyone
bothering to explain why his nametag was slapped onto his mouth.
"Name?"
The youngish man looked fidgety.
"Name?"
The martial artist turned, ability quite obvious from the muscles
rippling on bare arms against the dark blue shirt. "Uhh... R-Ryog-g-ga.
R-Ryo-ga H-hib-biki."
"Ryogga Ryogga Hihibbiki," the man wrote down, ticking "confused
male" as he passed by it. "Martial Arts Discipline?"
"W-What?"
The man didn't even bother to get angry. Patience was not only a
virtue in his line of work, but a necessity. "What form of martial arts
do you and your dojo represent?"
Ryoga looked around, and concluded that this guy was still the only
guy that he could talk to, without getting into much of a ruckus. Those
feather-duster dudes looked tough. "M-martial Arrrts R-r-rhythmmmic
Gymm..."
"We already have one of those."
"W-what?"
"Rules say only one entry per discipline."
"B-but..."
"Next!" The burly guy behind Ryoga tried to push him out of the
way, but the Lost Boy didn't budge.
"I-I jj-just wanted..."
"The fame? The glory? The girls?"
He shook his head frantically. "T-the bbbathroom."
Speaking of the epilogue
------------------------
"A-CHOO!"
Ranma wiped at his nose. Funny, he didn't have a cold. He didn't
give it a second thought.
Autumn of the cherry blossoms
-----------------------------
The mind loves playing tricks.
I now see him, riding on a steadily shrinking house - my house -
flicking the falling leaves and petals as they land on his clothes, on
his cheeks, on his hair. He laughs, beckoning me to come, and I follow -
but he is soft to my touch, like the windy down of flour, running softly
through my fingers.
"Break the breeze," he says, spreading himself into dreamdust and I
return.
"The summer," I think aloud, "the summer when the sun cuts wind
lengthwise."
"And because of that," a voice interjects, "the sky is threadbare
with heat."
I turn my head, but the girth of the cherry tree does not reveal
the other side. No, I chide myself, now is time to play tricks on my
mind. "Would you be the spirit of this cherry tree?"
A laugh, this voice. "No. I always thought that cherry spirits
were female."
"Only to males," I correct, leaning back to watch the dancing
pinks. "The cherry likes to seduce us wandering souls into dancing with
their fallen sons."
"Or daughters," he shoots back, then sighs, a willowy note. "It is
sad that the cherry blossom must shed to be appreciated."
A petal lays itself on the back of my hand. "It seeks to root
itself to shine on its own."
I am certain he shakes his head at this. "But it is the leaving
that we celebrate, not the landing." He pauses, as though shifting. "Do
you remember one when he is gone, or as he leaves?"
The voice is melancholy, as though in reminiscence itself. "Only
when he is here. His absence shapes the void into the memory."
"I... miss her." He is suddenly quiet.
I stop, unsure of my next words, but he cuts the silence. "I miss
her now, because her absence is the ribbon." He catches himself,
flounders, and trails off.
"And the tree connects you to her," I supply.
"The ribbon is my continuity. My past, and my future. She... she
broke it."
I see a face to this voice: rugged, bright, and longhaired. My
heart jumps, yet it is still. Beggar my mind. "Break the breeze," I
whisper.
"What?"
I close my eyes - I feel the wind and see the young man's face.
Damn and confound this wishing heart. "He... you... said. Break the
breeze."
He pauses, but the moment flows with pent-up emotion. "Do... do
you..."
"I am." I hug my legs close; they are numb from the chilling
wind.
"May... may I...?" He calms his madly beating heart. "Thank you."
I feel a sudden movement by me, as though a face to meet mine. I
open my eyes -
- I am alone, and the breeze is broken.
Livin' in luxury
----------------
"Excuse me! Emergency!" The man ran to the door of the public
car.
"Hey!" Ukyo shouted, "that's MY cab!"
"Sorry," Ryoga apologized as he shut the door, and the cab zoomed
off.
"Where to?"
"My house," the Lost Boy said. He did need to get home, surely and
quickly, no matter how much the cost.
"And where'd that be, mac?"
Ryoga looked up, face blank, completely set off-track.
What goes around comes around
-----------------------------
"There ya go, one ticket."
The train of cars was nowhere near filled. "How long do we have to
wait here?"
The barker put his weight to the old-style lever. "Don't worry -
just one person per car s'nough. Unless you pick-up... something."
The "Trainwreck Tunnel" was underway.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!"
"Shut up, Ikuko!"
"What a crappy 'horror train'."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"L-leggo, Ibuki!"
"H-Hiroshi, s-something's crawling up my leg!"
"You don't need to shout it out, Yuka."
"What a weird 'love train'. The gore and surprising costumed
extras seem to fail to fill the ambience."
Ukyo wondered why she bothered with the ride. That weird "Gambling
K" wasn't here either. Maybe next spring fair...
She felt a tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me..."
She turned to see a man with an axe in his head asking, "is this
train headed to Kyoto?"
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" *flak!*
On the bright side, Ryoga actually got halfway there.
Joshua
------
He felt walking, floor, wood and the smell of wonderment was gone.
He had left a room of soft-cushioned walls, and was on the way to be
illuminated, there was a light in a shaft of white. There was some sort
of blossom show, and a tingling sensation was locking itself onto his
skin.
He gazed into the beam to a shadowplay of trees and silk. He saw
A____, in a kimono, with a bamboo umbrella. She was in a sitting
position, and was gazing towards an unknown. She turned, so lovely, so
unassuming and she spoke to him. He couldn't stop himself, walked
closer, to the tree, and found himself taking a seat not quite opposite
to N_____. She didn't quite smile, but she did not look into his soul.
He began to wonder what she was doing in that tree. "What are you doing
in that tree?"
"This tree? It's mine."
"What would you want to do with a tree?" as he began to pummel the
trunk with all sorts of kicks and punches. The tree was beginning to
shiver but the occupant was nary impressed.
"I bought this tree," she began, "because I liked seeing things."
"Seeing things, huh." He started running circles around the trunk,
which had a velvety touch. It was a sexy kind of tree, and the shade of
blue it was hued came out as Ukyo's wraparound, unraveling without its
bandoleer, under N_____'s calm-world perusal.
"Give me a hug," said the tree.
"Give me a kiss," she echoed.
He stepped on the lowest roots, flowing outward, blanket in a windy
night, enfolding him as he found handholds in Ukyo's navel, the hollows
of her shoulders, the crook of her arm, her delicate fingers, as they
felt him, and he felt them, all of them. N_____ sat in the tresses of
her light brown hair, with wings of a butterfly, so far to him, so
taunting, and so tiring to see. He sat down on the branch he was closest
to.
Ukyo turned to him and said nothing, the tree was no longer blue,
but the ground ate away at the color, laying only white and pink, which
made the tree look soft and hard at once. He felt through the upper
branches, and they came with him like fragrant willow's wisps, snaking
not quite around him, tentatively.
N_____ flew by to kiss his ear, but he heard her say, "you're such
a pig," not that he could complain, it was all true. But she kissed him,
dammit, that should mean something to her, it meant something to him.
Ukyo just shook her head, her hair covering the sky.
Another brick in the wall
-------------------------
"You should'a seen'em!"
Daisuke shook his head. "Poor fools."
Ukyo rushed over to the two. "What?"
"Lunchroom." They bowed their heads in awe and prayers for
deliverance.
It was then their pink-haired classmate and his girlfriend
returned. Or, more precisely, in the arms of the latter.
The chef asked her co-conspirator. "What's with Shun?"
Haruka dropped (very softly, but quickly enough to look gruff) the
aforementioned into his desk-seat. "Got caught in the last meat bread
with that transfer and Hibiki from A."
"I feel like a springboard," he muttered.
Footsteps.
Ukyo sniffed, not really caring for it all. "Why do they keep
running out of the good bread, anyway?"
"My dear, dear U-!" The drummer dropped his horde of pastries as
he got flung to the back of the room.
"There goes Wings." Hiroshi just closed his bento box, grinned and
air-riffed a drumroll.
50000000 feet of earth
----------------------
"It's no use, sir. There's no way out."
Under the glare of the heavy-duty flashlight, the archeologist's
weathered features looked haggard to the point of death. Without much of
a sigh, he plopped to the ground, sitting cross-legged.
He closed his eyes, and wondered for deadli- err, time-checks. In
two hours, they'd have the bends. In about three, the air would run out.
In five days, the batteries would run out. In ten years, they'd be
cracked and scarred by heat, without the benefit of a proper decaying.
"Err... excuse me?"
"Who're you?!"
Ryoga wondered why such rugged-looking people were sitting or lying
down on the dirt, without bothering to pitch their tents. "I... I'm just
looking for Tokyo..."
"HOW DID YOU GET HERE?!"
Ryoga had to shirk away at that, but he wasn't able to avoid the
fierce hug the man gave him. "BLESS YOU, SON!! YOU'VE SAVED US ALL!"
Suddenly, Ryoga looked straight up.
Suddenly, Ukyo looked straight down. She felt a strange blush
creep, and closed her legs, keeping the fabric on them, all but
forgetting about the screen before her and the microphone in her hand.
She never could get used to wearing skirts.
Tie me up, tie me down
----------------------
After volleyball practice:
"You know," Haruka began, "I wonder if those handholds of yours...
are they like, y'know, notches on a warknife? Kills?"
Peering over her shoulder, Ukyo started pulling off her jogging
pants, signaling that they were the only ones in the locker room. (Not
that they'd go in when anyone else was there.) "Yeah, those are for the
guys I cooked with it."
"Um-um. Just love the smell of roasted boy." Haruka shook her
head, laughing inaudibly. "No, really."
Ukyo put on the pants of her uniform, then regarded the instrument.
"They're there because those are the balance points on the handle." Her
gaze, however was focussed on the middle, which was covered by a ribbon
of cloth. "Points of balance..."
Haruka immediately noticed the change in mood. "Come again?"
"You ever have this empty feeling? You know, when things don't
matter?" She touched the binding at the larger end of the spatula with
one hand. "There's the things you're happy about," then she slid the
other hand along the handle, almost choking the bindings nearer the
notch, "and things you have to be angry about."
She slid both hands to the middle of the handle, where the cloth
bindings were. "When things seem to not-matter, I just remember the
other things."
"Other things?" Haruka echoed, shuddering inside. This girl's
gotta have some psychosis or something, turning all deep-voiced about
cloth.
So, now that the world is over, do we call God?
-----------------------------------------------
"You-part-us!"
Ex-he turned. Was this ex-she ex-he heard talking to once-him?
"Um, are you-part-we talking-thinking to me-part-us?"
Ex-she took once-his arm-extension in once-her arm-extension.
"Yes, you-part-us, soulmate."
Ex-he would have started-stuttered-stopped. "Soul's mate?"
Ex-she nonverbally-assented. "Uh-huh." She curled-folded-mended
in once-his cusp.
Ex-he recognized-realized-discovered the familiarity-similarity.
"Don't I-part-we know-remember-become you-part-us? Aren't you-part-we U-
?"
Ex-she brightened-holied slightly, a smile showing-induced. "You-
part-we do remember-know!" U- giddily rubbed against ex-him.
Ex-he ran-rolled ex-his fingers-extensions along U-'s long brown
hair. It smelled-was incense, but everything-part-us sensed-was incense,
a fog of it. "Long-brown-hair, you-part-us're my-part-our soul's mate?!"
Long-brown-hair stuck-out-showed-induced once-her tongue-extension.
"Of course not, silly P-. It just feels better if your-part-our soulmate
was someone you-part-us knew-remembered." Ex-she noticed-knew ex-his
pig-tail droop-sag. "Not angry?"
Ex-he squealed-grinned. "Not at all." P- covered-embraced U- with
himself-part-universe and sang-lived.
"Mmmmm." Long-brown-hair tickled P- with fingers-hair-fragrance-
extension, and ex-he smiled-glowed.
"So," P- whispered-caressed, "what do we-part-all do now?"
Long-brown-hair-horse's-mane: "What else, besides waiting-
timeless-stop-paused? I-part-us never did believe-know-understand all
that Hindu stuff. Let's-part-all have wild, passionate chess." And
they-part-us did.
He just said, "5 to go."
------------------------
"Gee, just for you?"
The young man looked past her, then around her. "5 to go."
"Gotcha covered," she assured him. He must be hungry, lugging that
big knapsack. Is it just me, or is he making sure that I couldn't see
his face? "Say, you..."
"5 to go," he droned, still looking around.
"Yeah, yeah," she sighed, giving up. Was she being paranoid?
After three okonomiyaki began to sizzle into completion, she ducked
in to get some more ingredients. When she came out, he was gone.
Ryoga stuffed the sign into his pack, wondering for all the while
why a dojo would be called "Kuonji's Okonomiyaki". And it was on a
curtain, too! This "dojo destroying" business was too easy, though it
always left him grumpy. He shrugged, "4 to go."
Black moon, white sky
---------------------
For all the world, she wanted to be a magical girl.
"When windward sails the darkness, and homeward streaks the moon,
the legions, in their slumber, sing mindlessly the tune to which
fighters, beautiful and true, derive their calls of nature, hear this,
evil-doers: I FIGHT FOR MACAROONS!"
She lifted her pencil with a flourish. Not only was it heartfelt,
and to the point, it was within meter! Now that I have a witty and
poetic catch-phrase (which I will no doubt keep to heart, uphold and
remember without having to need cue cards), I have to work on my
transformation sequence.
Readying herself, she stood, took a deep breath, and raised the
half-eaten coconut cookie which was her divine inspiration and chanted:
"Egg-white, coconut and sugar, mixed and baked to hold,
spices up everything nicely, much like girls of old.
Come together in my hand, and sprinkle onto me
The secret of the MACAROON: POWER OF THE BAKERY!"
topped with her spinning around, quickly removing her school-girl
uniform, slapping on a wraparound and (her personal touch) two bandoleers
of baking instruments.
Holding up the rolling pin hidden on her back, she bellowed, "I
will straighten out your crooked stuffing! I AM BAKER MACAROON!
EEEEEEEEEK!"
Something made a loud crash outside the window. The world, though,
could rest at ease, as the secret true identity of its newborn beautiful
heroine of the fluff, Baker Macaroon, could never escape the lips of its
co-discoverer, as he could not be found when needed, or, when found,
could not be prodded to talk, as he was too busy laughing.
Tie me up, tie me down before
-----------------------------
He wondered if it was all a dream.
Sometimes, he would lie on his stomach, which invariably stopped
him from sleeping, and thought about her. Or, rather, tried but failed
to not think about her.
It wasn't as though she felt like a dream, no, she was very real,
but it wasn't that, either. It just made him so confused.
"What could it all mean?"
At this point, he would invariably flash back to the time they
first met.
"Say, you!"
Ukyo turned to the tinny-little-jerk voice that taunted with its
very tones. "What is it, kid?"
If they weren't the only people on the road at that time, she would
have just ignored him. If she wasn't... as it was, she really had no
time for this.
"Look," she started, "I'm really in no mood to - whatever." She
turned back to her chosen path.
"Hey!" The other just stood and gawked. "Hey!"
"SHUT UP!" With an annoyed flick of her wrist, a spatula flung
back at the stranger.
"WHOA!" *chok*
Ukyo really didn't know why she'd done it, but really didn't care.
"Those two jack-asses!" No, she really didn't know she'd done it. "And
that stupid ki-"
She suddenly found herself stopped, because she was rolled up in a
yellow ribbon. "HEY!"
She turned to the boy, who was holding a stick, to which the ribbon
was attached to, thus ascertaining him to be the guilty party. He said,
"that... wasn't... very... nice."
She noticed the spatula sticking out of his side. "Eh?"
He dropped the ball that the spatula had embedded itself into from
under his arm. "I don't know where I am, but any place people greet each
other with shuriken is not a place I want to be in." He took the stick
and fastened it into the wrapped ribbon. "You're gonna take me to a
phone NOW."
"Don't wanna." Ukyo just stood there, smoldering. She couldn't
budge in those coils, and her chest was starting to feel slightly caught.
"WHADDAYA MEAN 'YOU DON'T WANNA'?!?"
"YOU TIED ME *UP*, YOU JACK-ASS!"
"YOU TRIED TO KILL ME!"
"I DIDN'T MEAN TO!"
"YOU DIDN'T *MEAN* TO!" Obviously, he thought it would be kind of
strange. "YOU DIDN'T *MEAN* TO?!"
"YES!" Ukyo now just felt exasperated.
They stared at each other. The boy turned, and sat, chin in hand.
After minutes of deliberation, he stood and faced his captive.
With a few steps, he was almost nose-to-nose with her.
"I don't believe you."
She shrieked in her Righteous Indignation. "WHAT?!"
"Hey," he shrugged, "you might just try it again."
Ukyo mumbled on her unbelievable luck. Her father's yattai had
been hijacked, and now she was being kidnapped by this STUPID KID!
"So," he concluded, "you're going to take me to a phone."
She set him locked in her sights, and did a laser-eyed sweep, which
did not do much damage. Then, something clicked, and she smiled. A very
*nice* smile.
"Sure, kid. I'll take you."
"Are you sure we're getting closer?"
"Positive," Ukyo said.
The sun was hanging rather low from a branch, and looked like a
juicy fruit. She wove through the low-lying branches deftly, while her
"baggage" had to fend off ticklish leaves.
Just a few more turns, she guessed.
After the few turns, they ended up in what would have looked like a
clearing, except that the tree that stood in the middle of it heavily
shaded them with its branches.
She turned to him and stopped.
"What? We're here?"
She stared at him intently.
All of a sudden, she started to spontaneously burst into tears.
"WE'RE LOST!" she wailed.
"I could have told you that," he said, sighed and sat on one of the
largish roots that grew out of the soil in parts.
"Oh, and how is THAT?" She sniffed, sitting on another root.
He unhitched his backpack, which Ukyo had noticed looked heavy. "I
was here."
She looked incredulous. A random walk into the forest (which
should have ended up, in the first place, at her father's house) led them
to a spot he was at before? "You were here?"
"Uh-huh." He pulled out, much to her surprise, a portable gas
burner. "Had an interesting conversation with that tree over there." He
gestured vaguely towards the trunk while pulling out a kettle. "'Hey,
tree,' I said, 'I'm lost. Think you could help me out?' She says, 'sure
thing, Ryoga, but on one condition.' 'Name it.' 'Take me with you.'"
She goggled, as he pulled out a largish canteen. "The tree talked
to you?"
"OF COURSE NOT!" He screamed, dropping an unopened cup o'ramen.
"I am LOST, in the middle of the FOREST, with a NINJA who'd no sooner
KILL ME than KISS ME!"
"Who said I was a ninja?!" She bristled slightly, then
backtracked. "Who said I'd kiss you?!"
"Of course you'd deny being a ninja." He sniffed, sitting down to
ignite the burner. "If they (whoever they are) found out that someone
(whoever it would be) found out that you were a ninja, you'd have to wash
the toilets for a month or something."
"WHO SAID I'D KISS YOU?!"
"No one did. Just making conversation. Besides, why would I want
a guy to kiss me, huh?" Placing water into the kettle, he started
heating it.
"Uh... right." She tried to shrug, but it was a little too
difficult. "Say... since we're lost and everything, can't you at least
untie me?"
He adjusted the flame a little and mulled it over, over it. "Well,
since you were the one who led us here, and you are the ninja -"
"I am NOT -"
"- I do suppose that I should."
I wonder how that came as a conclusion.
"But you have to swear not to kill me."
"But I TOLD you -"
"On your ninja honor, or something."
"I am NOT -"
"- a ninja," he finished. "Yeah, yeah. Swear it."
She grumbled some. "I swear, on my honor -"
"On your ninja honor," he corrected.
"- on my honor," she repeated, more for herself than for him, "that
I will not kill you." Not unless you try that kissing thing - blech.
"Oh, goodie," he clapped. Taking the stick, he loosened a small
amount of ribbon, then suddenly jerked it, pulling the ribbon forcefully.
Much to Ukyo's surprise, the coils undid themselves, completely recoiling
back in his hand.
Opting to cover it, she asked, "so, you got any more of that cup
ramen?"
Several mini-meals later, Ukyo had come to the firm conclusion that
this kid was "not bad", meaning that he would probably not kiss her and,
kidnapping aside, would probably not have to be killed. It was
surprising, mostly because of her current stand on boys in general.
"So," he said, finishing off his third, "what's your name?"
"Ukyo," she said, slurping a noodle. "And you're Ryoga, right?"
"Yup." He adjusted the flashlight a little, and sat down from a
squat. "Forests sure are dark at night."
She shivered involuntarily (who the heck shivers voluntarily?) as
she put down the empty cup. "Wh-why'd ya hafta say that?"
He leaned back, further from the cone of light, so that she
couldn't see his face. "Nuthin'. Haven't been in a forest this late,
'sall." He leaned forward, face peeking from the darkness. "Heard a lot
of scary things that happen in forests."
"S-SS-Scary?" She edged around the roots, towards the trunk, along
the edge of the light, inching to his side nervously.
He didn't notice; he was fiddling with the ribbon, as though
checking if it was dirtied. "Yeah, like tree-spirits, and earth-spirits,
and ghosts, and things that go 'BOO!'" He said the last word with a
lurch, leaning forward all the way with arms outstretched.
At the mention of tree-spirits, Ukyo suddenly felt the tree loom
behind her, so that when he said 'BOO!', she was sure that the tree said
it. So she screamed (a truncated "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" would
be a good approximation) and jumped squarely into her companion's arms.
The two landed a good two yards back and started rolling in the
dark, grassy forest floor, entangling arms, legs and a great deal of
ribbon.
When they finally stopped rolling, Ryoga found himself embracing a
shaking-tense Ukyo. Since he ended on his back, he should have been able
to remove his arms from their place, except that he was tied in place by
the coils of cloth. "Hey, hey, man!" He was also quite aware that she
was hugging him something fierce. "Hey, hey!" He laughed.
When she didn't budge and didn't laugh either, he began to get a
tad bit flustered. "Hey, man! No need to get that jumpy. Geez!"
Ukyo bravely fought fear to say, "I-I'm s-sorry."
"Hey! Don't sweat it." He laughed again, in vain. "Man, you're
so jumpy, you're acting like a girl!"
"I-I, I AM a g-g-girrl."
Absolute, total silence.
"Eh-heh," he chuckled unevenly, "good joke."
"D-do I s-ssound like I'm-mm j-joking?"
A pause, a little like the last.
"So what?"
"What?"
"So what if you're a girl?"
"Ah... g-g-good p-ppoint."
When she woke up, he was gone.
It was though the whole day before was a queer dream. The whole
mess of a young martial artist leaving, the yattai gone, that boy, and a
night sleeping so peacefully... it quickly felt like haze in a young
mind. The only proof of the events that happened was the ribbon which he
tied her up with, cut slightly in half, with the stick gone.
Time and change pass, and though hazy, Ukyo still searches, not
actively, though, (mind you, she blamed a certain [at the time]
ponytailed boy for her companion's disappearance) for the boy that held
her that night, and told her that she could still find worth in the male
half of the human race (once she could settle with the ponytailed boy),
the boy who was good with a rhythmic gymnastics ribbon named Ryu.
The mind loves making things up, ne?
I wouldn't have come later if I knew you were waiting
-----------------------------------------------------
Ryoga looked into Ukyo's eyes and said, "..."
She blinked. "You... you..."
The hand flashed, and soon he was airborne. "PERVERT!"
Ukyo stomped off to the other side of the public bathtub. In a
way, she'd be glad when puberty came, and she'd have to go to the other
side of the wall.
"Hey!" Ryoga wondered what all the fuss was about. He just wanted
to borrow some... "Whoa, d�j� vu..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
(Detach here)
DON'T PANIC.
This volume scores over the best-selling yet pedestrian work in two
points, namely, even though much of what is contained is apocryphal or,
at least, wildly inaccurate.
Ukyo has once said that she would rather stay as she is rather than
endanger lives with her stunning beauty. Tatewaki Kuno, noted
connoisseur and authority, has compared the female Ukyo to the worship of
two goddesses, but the religion of which is regional and subject to time
zoning.
On the other hand, Ryoga is holding a pair of deuces, which would
have been good except that bad luck in pairs always likes emulating
Fibonacci's series, consecutive terms of which are always prime,
relatively.
When we caught up with the author, on his way in between paroles of
Nevada and Katmandu, his comments were: "I couldn't remember if I wrote
that on pot or on Dr. Pepper. Who's Godot? May the Goddess live forth!
Govinda jaya jaya."
On totally unrelated developments, a young female has been sighted
in the Nerima district, searching for her "Master Ryoga". It has not
been confirmed whether or not the girl has an affinity for being tied to
posts, but carries Traveler's Checks.
Also, there actually has been a game called "Strip Fighter",
although it has only appeared on a now deceased gaming platform, and has
never appeared on the Sony Playstation.
(Detach here)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Nikholas F. Toledo Zu @ WWW: The Entertainment Capital of UP Village
Vector, Switch, Yebah, Rain Man, goo, Pervert, Scruples, Hollie, NomaD,
Blitz, Gee, Datzo, Jewel, elf, Radler, Pinball, Mayhem, Chaos, Father,
Attar and Llewe @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/mezza9.html
Fanfiction Page @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/fanfics.html
Perv's SI Archive @ http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Flats/3145/insert.html
-------------------------------------------------------------------------