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NEON GENESIS EVANJELLYDONUT: F A N F I C / M S T 3 K / C & C (New Style)
Written By:
James Grabowski
Part IV : Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut 3
Revision: 1.00
Date: August 10, 1998
Time: 11:49:30 AM (EDT)
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Author's Notes:
Welcome to the fourth installment of the Evanjellydonut
Fanfic/MST series. Very different from the average MST, the C&C found
here comes from the characters of the series rather than the author.
NOTE: READ THE FIRST THREE PARTS, "I" "II" & "III", BEFORE YOU READ
THIS.
Why? So you know what's going on of course! This isn't your
average MST here. This is a series in itself. It has its own
internal plot, it has situations running over from one fanfic to
the next.
READ THEM FIRST OR YOU WILL NOT ENJOY OR FULLY UNDERSTAND THIS.
Where can you find the latest versions? My page of course!
What's the address?
<http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius>
Follow the "Anime Fanfiction" link.
NOTE: BEFORE READING THIS PART, "IV", OF THIS MST SERIES,
READ "NEON GENESIS EVANJELLYDONUT" ALL THE WAY UP TO 3.5.
(1, 2, 3, 3.5)
You need to know what's going on before you understand why the
characters are doing what they do. Where do you find it?
Andrew Huang's page of course. What's his address?
<http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~alhuang>
For a direct link to EVA, add this:
/anime/fanfic/myfics/evafics.html
It's strange when I think about it. Normally an MST involves
its author and other anime characters. I somehow managed to twist this
into a different format, having six of the characters from Evangelion
become involved in a plot of its own. Funny, making a Fanfic/MST out
of another fanfic.
Anyway, this will be the last installment for a while. How come?
There aren't any more chapters of Evanjellydonut to MST!!! Part V will
come out once Andrew Huang writes the next chapter, but I don't know when
that will be. I just hope it's soon. =)
Well, I promised Asuka would get a break, and I believe that I
came through on that promise. Asuka gets much of the spotlight in this
installment, and in addition, a lot of the good lines. <g> In addition,
I was able to actually give Rei some humorous lines without taking her
out of character (there are exceptions due to character development
though, but it's a comedy so it doesn't matter).
Yesterday it was suggested to me to do some MSTs of a few other
fanfics. It sounds interesting, though I have a few other projects to
work on at the momemnt, so that'll be later. However, you'll notice at
the end of this installment that I've left room to bring in just about
any fanfic. I eventually may just retitle this whole series, but for now
I'll leave it as is.
I don't have too much else to say about this installment. It's
about as long as Part III was, so expect to take just as much time
reading it. I'd really appreciate any comments on this series. You
can always find the latest version at my web page, listed at the end of
this document. Now that I'm done with this for a while, I can begin work
on my Evangelion fanfic series.
Well, that's all for now. Enjoy!
James Grabowski
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LEGAL INFORMATION:
All characters contained in this MST3K are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA,
and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or
production of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
The fanfiction "Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut" is a production of Andrew
Huang, and may not be tampered with (except to do a MST3K / C&C obviously)
This MST3K is a production of James Grabowski, and may not be used in any
way, shape, or form without prior permission of the author. Distribution
is subject to prior approval by the author. (i.e.: ASK before putting it
on a web page if you wish to do so, no posting on a newsgroup w/o
permission, etc. etc. etc.)
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SHINJI: That was excellent Hikari-sama!
HIKARI: So formal! Arigato Shinji-kun.
(The group of 6 were sitting on the floor finishing the meal... no, seven
course feast that Hikari had SOMEHOW managed to pack away into a small
bag. Apparently, "impossible" is not in this girl's vocabulary.)
KENSUKE: Mmmm! I've never had better!
TOUJI: That's right.
ASUKA: (annoyed) I can't tell what's making me more nauseous; the lack of
sugar in this Diet Dr. Pepper, or the excess of it in this silly
conversation!
HIKARI: (laughing) You're just jealous because you can't cook well.
ASUKA: I'm an excellent cook. Right Shinji?
SHINJI: Actually... I don't think you've ever cooked since you came to
Japan.
ASUKA: (whispering) Don't tell them that baka!
REI: (sips her tea quietly)
HIKARI: By the way, you came back looking a bit... well...
ASUKA: What?
HIKARI: Well... on fire actually. (whispering) What'd they do?
ASUKA: Nothing.
HIKARI: Nothing?
ASUKA: Yeah. (Turns towards Rei and Shinji and cracks her knuckles for
emphasis. Shinji turns white.) Nothing.
HIKARI: Oh.
SHINJI: (idly sipping some tea) Nothing until you left anyway.
ASUKA: ?!
REI: (softly) You shouldn't have said that out loud.
(Asuka whaps him upside the head and starts yelling at the both of them.
On the positive side, Shinji didn't spill his tea.)
HIKARI: *sigh* I hope she's not like this through the third Chapter of
the "film"...
TOUJI: You're actually expecting her not to be?
KENSUKE: Maybe we should start before Asuka loses it...
ASUKA: I'M NOT LOSING IT!!!
KENSUKE: Then why are you sitting next to me?
ASUKA: ...I was bored.
KENSUKE: Does this mean you like me?
HIKARI: Don't you remember where boredom got you the last time?
ASUKA: You're right. This could be much worse.
(The two of them laugh. Both Shinji and Kensuke mutter something under
their breaths.)
TOUJI: ...
REI: Are we going to begin?
HIKARI: Sure, hold on a sec...
(She also manages to neatly clean up the mess in under ten seconds.)
TOUJI: (blink) How d--- How d---
HIKARI: (already back in her seat) What're you all still doing on the
floor?
(With a sense of wonder, and of wondering about what had just happened,
everyone returns to their seats.)
ASUKA: Hikari? This isn't going to be anything like last time, is it?
HIKARI: Why do you ask?
ASUKA: (whispering) Because if it is I'm not letting those two sit
next to each other.
HIKARI: No, it's not like last time.
ASUKA: (confidently) Well alright then! Let's begin!
(After she notices that she's standing on her seat with everyone else is
staring at her, she slowly lowers herself back down to sitting level.
Rei finds the remote by her feet and starts the third Chapter.)
The Sound and the Furry Productions, copyright 17th year of the 78th
cycle
Andrew Huang, nutcase, headcase, briefcase, member
begun August 6, 1997
TOUJI: You're right, the copyright date does change everytime.
KENSUKE: Maybe he exists outside of time.
Reminder: There _are_ spoilers in here. Big time.
TOUJI: What's a spoiler?
KENSUKE: Something that spoils.
*WHACK*
Evangelion is the property of Gainax (great bunch of people, they
are). ADV Films has the rights to the English translation. And usage of
o/" to symbolize musical parts (it's a music note, see?) was borrowed
from RpM, fellow fic writer. And special thanks to Michael Borgwardt for
cleaning up the German parts. I'm nowhere near as fluent as I once
was....
SHINJI: We can see what's happening. Why do we need a "o/"?
REI: Maybe someone was reading this on paper.
ASUKA: Oooh! German! Now THAT'S a language everyone should know!
Back to Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut. If this story makes you dizzy,
bang your head against a wall a little. Not too much, just a little.
This part is set a few days after the conclusion of part 2, "The Faces
of Death^H^H^H^H^HAyanami". Please read part 1 and part 2 first, else
you may be confused and be forced to bang your head against the wall.
HIKARI: ...That was a planned joke, wasn't it?
I'll not take any responsibility for the consequences of taking that
advice above....
Pardon the sugar content. Those with low tolerance for extreme WAFF
(Warm And Fuzzy Feeling) situations should NOT read this part. Actually,
do read it--just be prepared to page through certain bits.
ASUKA: I don't like warm and fuzzy...
KENSUKE: (to himself) And I don't like Dr. Pepper, but at least I fake
it.
ASUKA: Hikari, I thought you said...
HIKARI: It's not. It doesn't mean you'll like it though.
ASUKA: Oh.
It was time.
Time for some more Evangelion spoofiness.
"Yes, it does exist. Stop looking at me like that."
The writer sat down at his keyboard, and began
bumbling^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H crafting his latest masterpiece.
ASUKA: If someone doesn't tell me what "^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H" is, I'm going
to scream.
KENSUKE: Now I remember! It's like pressing a back-space key on a
computer.
ASUKA: ... But this is a film.
KENSUKE: Maybe it was meant for a computer...
Misato yawned and stretched, giving a grand show to anyone who might
be watching.
HIKARI: Shut your eyes Touji!
TOUJI: Yes ma'am.
"8 am. Things have been so slow around here lately. Shin--
oh, that's right." Shinji had left early for school. A meeting, he said.
Misato smiled, thinking who it was exactly he was meeting with. Those
two had certainly advanced their relationship in leaps and bounds. It
had been, what, not even a week? But then, they had so little before, so
that would make sense.... Asuka had also left early--to keep an eye on
things, no doubt.
KENSUKE: Deja vu, ne?
ASUKA: Two languages in one sentence. Don't you feel special?
KENSUKE: Hey!
"Squawk!"
"Oh, Pen-pen. Looks like Shinji already fed you." The bird nodded.
Misato laughed, remembering a certain dream. "Don't you start
philosophizing about the Angels and talking about design specs for Unit
01." Pen-pen merely looked at her strangely, then ambled over to his
refrigerated compartment, shutting the door behind him. Misato began
preparing for the day.
The sound of typing was barely audible. [Open log_]
[Log opened_] read the computer screen.
[Report of Agent P: The woman knows too much...._]
*GROAN*
SHINJI: Can't make fun of us without turning the penguin into an
international terrorist, can he?
ASUKA: Have I mentioned yet that I don't like what he's done to us?
SHINJI: Many times.
***
Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut, part 3:
Tenshi Muyou--No Need For Angels
by Andrew Huang
written for The Sound and the Furry Productions
***
HIKARI: Puns...
TOUJI: Bleah.
KENSUKE: Saw that coming a mile away I did.
If the thirteenth Angel had a mouth, it would be smiling right now.
Now was the time. Yes, it would find one of the Evangelion units, bide
its time in the computer system, take over the controls when activated,
and carry out its purpose. Its glorious, grim purpose.
That is, if only it could just possibly find one of those EVAs. Now
that was posing a bit of a problem.
SHINJI: I thought angels were supposed to be intelligent.
[Hmm. Now, where am I?]
"Say, boss...you didn't, perhaps, do something with my computer again,
did you?"
"No, Sato-kun...not since that last time. I still have the burn
scars."
"So why does the screen keep on flashing 'Which way to NREV'?"
SHINJI: Case in point.
"Well, I don't...eh...wait. 'NREV'?"
"NERV, I'm guessing. Maybe it doesn't know how to spell, whatever _it_
is."
[So sue me!]
If the thirteenth Angel had a mouth, it would have stopped smiling
just about now.
ASUKA: The life of an angel...
TOUJI: That sounds like a good movie title!
"Good morning, Shinji-kun."
"Ah, good morning, Rei-chan."
TOUJI/KENSUKE: Isn't that romantic...
REI/SHINJI: Shut up.
The two students sat down at empty desks next to each other. It was
quite a sight: Rei _not_ staring out the window, silently, and Shinji
_not_ idly slumped at his desk, listening to Touji and Kensuke yammer
about Misato--instead, they chatted quietly, smiling. A cute couple,
they were.
ASUKA: (thinking) I think I'm going to be sick...
But then, the past few days had been highly odd anyway, even by
Tokyo-3 standards. Rei with outward personality, Shinji with
backbone....
ASUKA: Ha. This is definitely not real. Those things are impossible.
HIKARI: You sure? Those two seem to be acting differently today.
ASUKA: Ah, it's all in your imagination.
Nearby, Asuka stared at the two suspiciously. That, at least, was less
surprising than most everything else. She was finally distracted from
them by Hikari sitting down next to her. "Oh, hi, Hikari-chan."
"Morning, Asuka-chan." Hikari was pensive. Touji hadn't come to school
since that triple-date, five days ago. She also hadn't been able to
reach him by phone. Apparently, he was at the hospital, with his sister,
just like he was when she had first been injured. And she certainly
didn't have the time to go to the hospital to find him.
TOUJI: Not enough time for me? I'm crushed Hikari.
"Are you worrying about him again? Oh, don't be...."
"Well, you'd think that he'd call or something, right?"
"Um, hi." It was Touji. Hikari jumped up a little too quickly and fell
over her chair. "Whoa...are you okay?" He extended a hand. Hikari, eyes
shining, took it gratefully. "Heh, sorry I haven't called or
anything...."
"It's...it's all right." They stared at each other in silence for a
second or two.
ASUKA: (thinking) I think I WILL be sick...
"Ah, I guess I want to talk to you...." Touji smiled weakly. Hikari
nodded, and they walked over to a corner of the room. Asuka sighed. She
turned her attention back to Rei and Shinji. She narrowed her eyes in
displeasure as she noted how much closer together they were, now.
(Asuka narrows her eyes in displeasure. Then she narrows them further
for not keeping the two from sitting next to each other. Then her eyes
completely disappear from her face because she can't make them any
narrower.)
"So, ah, got any plans for today?"
"Baka." Rei bapped Shinji lightly on the forehead. "We've got training
today, remember?"
"Oh. Damn."
Rei laughed softly, and put her hand over his. "Still, that doesn't
mean we can't...talk after we're done."
SHINJI: Talk doesn't seem to be the right word here...
REI: It's just a figure of speech Shinji-kun...
SHINJI: I know, I know...
ASUKA: Are you SURE about that Shinji?
SHINJI: (pale) You're right, talk is just fine...
Shinji blushed a bit, smiling, then froze. "You know, Rei-chan...is it
normal for people to swell up and turn bright red?"
"Hm? What do you mean?"
Shinji pointed nervously. Rei turned around.
"Oh...hello, Asuka...."
KENSUKE: Hey, that colour matches your plug suit Asuka!
Asuka clenched a fist, and barely managed to catch herself, so she
simply turned away. "I can't stand this," she hissed to herself. She
found herself facing a deliriously happy Hikari, and a confused but
overall happy Touji.
"Heh, don't mind us, Asuka-chan."
"I really can't stand this," muttered Asuka. Her words, however,
lacked their customary vehemence--which was completely lost on all in
the vicinity. Including herself.
ASUKA: (calmly) Excuse me for a moment...
(Asuka walks away to another point in the theatre where she can't be seen.
The sounds of gagging can be heard from her position, and then something
like... a wrecking ball crashing into a wall? Asuka returns and takes
her seat.)
HIKARI: Too sweet for you?
ASUKA: Yes. I think I need a Diet Dr. Pepper. Anti-sugar...
"Mommy, Mommy! My Tamagotchi is broken! Maro-chan's _gone_!!"
(Everyone collapses on the floor.)
SHINJI: What is this, a commercial?
"Oh, let me see that, Ju-chan." Hayama Sana took the little electronic
pet from her daughter Junko and looked at it carefully.
"Well, that's strange."
"Mommy? Can you fix it?"
"Let me see...don't worry, if Mommy or Daddy can't fix it, we'll go
get you a new one. Dear! Could you come here?"
Sana's husband Akito walked in, carrying a NERV (tm) coffee mug. "Hm?"
ASUKA: NERV's into merchandising now?
REI: It's their largest project. Then comes the defense of the human
race.
SHINJI: (to himself) Is that what it really is?
"Ju-chan's Tamagotchi is acting strange. Take a look." She handed it
over to him.
"NERV? Since when did they get involved with making these things? This
merchandising thing of theirs is getting out of hand."
ASUKA: Heh. You were right.
[ARGH! I can't find my way around this place worth a DAMN!]
ASUKA: Ha! Sucker! Stupid angels...
SHINJI: I never knew they could be so human.
Aoba quickly put away the mangas he had pilfered from Hyuuga's desk
and tried to appear busy as the Subcommander of the whole operation
walked in.
SHINJI: No guitar today?
"Uh, Subcommander, there seem to be reports of odd electronic
phenomena around the city this morning. All of them seem to be relating
to NERV."
Fuyutsuki blinked, and looked over at Aoba. "What?"
KENSUKE: He said "Uh, Subcommander, there seem to b---
*WHAP*
ASUKA: It's a figure of speech Kensuke.
Aoba handed him a NERV (tm) clipboard with several official statements
on it. The Subcommander read them over, puzzled. "This is one of the
strangest things I've ever seen. Any clue as to what it might be?"
"None, sir. So far, it's been relatively harmless, so they've
speculated that it's just a prank. Still, it's a pretty widespread one,
if you ask me. All over the city, so far."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Well, keep an eye on this thing, just in case." He
looked around the room. "Where is Hyuuga?"
"Um, check report number...seven, there." Aoba pointed at the
clipboard.
Fuyutsuki did so. He raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's interesting."
"Yeah. Maia went in to check up on him."
SHINJI: It's Maya!
HIKARI: Not yet Shinji...
Maia sat next to Hyuuga in the NERV infirmary. He was on one of the
cots, several bandages and an icepack on his head. His glasses were on
the table next to him.
SHINJI/ASUKA: First time I've seen him without glasses on.
She was looking very confused. "Now...run that by me again?"
Hyuuga sighed. "I found another machine that _said_ it had Dr. Pepper.
I put in the money, punch the button, and then the LED sign on it asks
where NERV is or something like that. It didn't give me my soda. So I
kicked it, the stupid piece of junk. The next thing I know, I'm on the
ground, an exploded can of _Mr. Pibb_," he growled the name of the soda,
"lying next to me, my forehead's bleeding, and some girl with long black
hair wearing a Shinto priestess outfit is there slapping wards on the
drink machine."
SHINJI: Why is this guy so obsessed with soda?
ASUKA: (shrugs, sips her Diet Dr. Pepper)
Maia could only stare at him. "Well...."
"I dunno, those wards seemed to have worked, 'cos the machine stopped
beeping after that. Nice girl...can't remember her name right now,
though something tells me that I really should. At least her first
name." Hyuuga fell silent a moment, grumbling. "I ought to sue, you
know." Maia nodded and started to say something, but Hyuuga went on.
"False advertisement! That machine said it had Dr. Pepper!"
Maia fell out of her chair.
(The three pilots fell out of their chairs. The other three had fallen
out of their chairs when they saw this part the first time.)
Caspar was hard at work, running the city, analyzing data on past
Angel attacks, playing with the minds of the humans, etc. Suddenly, he
stopped.
[Melchior.]
[Yes, Caspar?]
[It seems that someone, or something, is searching for us.]
ASUKA: You'd think that three supercomputers would have recognized
this from the start. Still think they can take us over Kensuke?
[Something like that. There have been messages all over the city
asking how to get to NERV HQ or something.] Melchior did a quick check.
[Yeah, that's it, all right. What do you think this means?]
Balthshazar came in, after running possibilities through his circuits.
[I haven't got enough information to draw any conclusions, yet. Caspar?
What about you?]
Caspar was silent, thinking. Then, he spoke. [I feel...a disturbance
in the Force.]
*GROAN*
Melchior sighed cybernetically.
[Balthshazar, have you been downloading those gaijin movies again?]
[Umm...no comment.]
KENSUKE: ...maybe not.
HIKARI: ESPECIALLY considering Caspar's acting like the gaijin but
Melchior's complaining to Balthshazar.
REI: There's something else.
HIKARI: What's that?
REI: All their names but Melchior's are pronounced and spelled wrong.
The names are Balthasar and Casper, not Blathshazar and Caspar.
HIKARI: Maybe he's trying to get around a copyright.
SHINJI: One that goes back a few thousand years...
"Dr. Akagi."
"The Magi haven't been able to come up with anything yet. The
randomness of the occurrences seem to be throwing them off."
"Keep working on it."
"Yes, Subcommander. Ah, where is Commander Ikari?"
"He called in sick today."
SHINJI: "Sick"?
"Dammit. Rei knows Jujitsu, too, does she?"
Gendou continued wrapping his two wrists and both ankles with tape,
giving a vicious tug with his words. It was kind of difficult, with both
of his arms in slings.
(Everyone but Rei [and Shinji because he knows better] start laughing.
Rei just half-smiles... and then proceeds to do nothing since she's the
one who had decided to put Gendou in slings.)
Kensuke sat down next to Asuka during lunch. He had no one else to
talk to, considering how...involved the others were.
"You know, I'm getting sick of this. It was Rei and Shinji the past
few days, and now Touji and Hikari, too."
Asuka sighed. "Yeah, I know. I guess I'm glad that Hikari's happy,
but...do they _have_ to do this in class?"
KENSUKE: (grinning) I didn't know you were ALLOWED to do that in class.
ASUKA/HIKARI: HENTAI!
*SMACK* *SMACK*
(No comment from Rei.)
"It could be worse. You remember how Rei was just afterwards."
KENSUKE: You see? I wasn't talking like that.
HIKARI: Yeah right...
Both nodded. Then Asuka sighed, wistfully.
"I haven't seen Kaji in a few days...."
"Feeling lonely, huh? Yeah."
Asuka looked at him strangely. "What do you mean by that?"
"Well, I mean," continued Kensuke, waving in the general direction of
the two couples, "seeing all that around you, y'know, but not...." He
sighed.
TOUJI: Yeah yeah yeah. You like her, so ask her out already.
ASUKA/KENSUKE: OVER MY DEAD BODY!!!
Asuka softened a bit. "I suppose you're right." They returned to
staring at the two pairs. Finally, Kensuke got fed up.
ASUKA: Oh no. He isn't...
"That's it. Enough with them." He turned to the computer on his
desktop and turned it on to play some Nethack. Asuka looked over his
shoulder.
ASUKA: *whew*
KENSUKE: I forgot I had that on my laptop...
"Wow, you're playing a Tourist? Tough one."
KENSUKE: I didn't know you liked computer games.
ASUKA: That man is ruining my reputation!
Kensuke nodded. But before he could start the game, the screen
flickered wildly.
[Where is NREV? I mean, NERV?]
KENSUKE: You know what this angel needs? A built-in spell checker.
Asuka blinked. "What?"
Kensuke screamed. "MY SAVEFILE!!!!!!"
KENSUKE: (sniff) I'm so sorry...
ASUKA: (to herself) He really DOES need a girlfriend...
This quickly brought Rei, Shinji, Touji, and Hikari running. "What
happened?" asked Hikari.
Kensuke was quietly weeping. Asuka pointed at the screen. "Well, he
started playing Nethack, when this suddenly popped up."
Touji tapped at the keys a bit, but nothing happened. "Someone's
trying to find NERV? This is kind of weird. What do you suppose it is?"
Rei sat back down at her desk, and turned looked through her computer.
"Nothing wrong here...wait, some of my files were opened. The ones about
NERV general information.... We'd better tell someone about this."
Four cellular phones were pulled out simultaneously.
KENSUKE: Not fair. How come all of the EVA pilots get cel phones?
REI: In case of an emergency.
SHINJI: Or to call each other when we're bored.
ASUKA: Or to make untraceable calls to your house...
KENSUKE: That was you?
"Yes? Oh...more of that stuff, huh? Right, I'll log it." Aoba hung up
the phone. "Doctor, seems that 'prank' has been showing up at school,
where the pilots are."
SHINJI: How did all four phones get through to the same phone number?
Ritsuko nodded. "I'll get this data to the Magi. And who's playing
that music? It's starting to get distracting."
[Sorry.] The Star Wars theme turned off.
ASUKA: Well Kensuke, you can feel special knowing that you have more of a
life than a genius supercomputer.
KENSUKE: Thanks, I---
ASULA: (grin)
KENSUKE: Damn.
"Thanks. I--" Ritsuko stopped, looking around, then shrugged. More
important things lay ahead.
TOUJI: It can talk?
HIKARI: No song and dance numbers please.
School let out. At last.
Asuka sighed in relief, now that she could finally get away from those
four. Then she frowned. "Right about now, Hikari and I would be going to
the mall, normally." She grumbled. She wasn't about to go there
alone.... She sat down at a bench, staring up at the clouds.
ASUKA: You see Touji? It's a bench, not a beach.
TOUJI: Yeah, yeah.
I really shouldn't be so bothered by all of that. I mean, I've done
just fine on my own for years now.
ASUKA: (pale, thinking) Does he know my past?
"Asuka?"
ASUKA: Who's that?
Yeah, that's right. I don't need to worry about that. Hey, maybe I
_will_ go shopping by myself.
ASUKA: (thinking) I'm just fine by myself anyway...
"Asuka-chan?"
Besides, it's not like I should spend all my time with Hikari.
ASUKA: (thinking) And throwing up watching her and Touji. (laughs)
SHINJI: Are you laughing at yourself?
ASUKA: Of course not dumbkof!
"Asuka!"
"WHAT!? WHAT?!!"
Hikari and Touji fell away, nervously. "Uh, didn't you say that we
were going to the mall today?"
Asuka blinked. "Oh...yeah. Yeah!"
Hikari smiled. "Well, come on!" She looked over at Touji. "I want to
try on some things for him." Touji blushed. Asuka attempted to grumble,
but it came out more like a sigh.
KENSUKE: My my Touji. I never knew you could turn that red...
TOUJI: Shut up! YOU'RE the one who lost his savefile...
KENSUKE: (sniff) Why do you have be so mean?
The thirteenth Angel was getting nervous. It was, at present,
surrounded by many, many individual electronic systems. It was going to
be next to impossible to get out of this place, it seemed.
"Hey, there's Shinji. Next to the arcade. Hey!"
"Oh, hi, guys. Man, I was going to try out that new Street Fighter
game, but most of the machines in there aren't working."
TOUJI: What's that say? Cap...com?
KENSUKE: (nodding) Sounds old.
[HELP!!!]
SHINJI: THERE! See how YOU like feeling trapped damnit!
(Looks around, realizing where he is.)
SHINJI: (clears his throat) Sorry.
"Oh. Pity."
Yes, the Angel wasn't going to be going anywhere for a while. A long
while.
"Well, where's Ayanami, huh?"
"She wanted to finish up her homework.
TOUJI: Oooh... hom---
*SLAP*
REI: (softly) Even I have a limit Touji...
"Too bad, eh?" Touji elbowed his friend. Touji suddenly stiffened, as
if waiting for something.
"Something the matter?"
"Well, Asuka, I was expecting you to...slap...Asuka?"
"Oh, she's over there...in the dress shop." Hikari pointed.
ASUKA: Don't worry. Since it didn't happen there, I'll do it for you!
TOUJI: (stammering) B-B-BUT I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!
ASUKA: (laughs) You're such a wimp Touji...
TOUJI: (thinking) This is so embarrasing...
"Whatever. Well, Shinji--we'd better get going now. We've got training
in a few hours, and Hikari still wants to go roaming around here. Plus,
now that you mention it, maybe I should get started on my homework...."
KENSUKE: Oooh... homework!
(Everyone stares at him.)
KENSUKE: (blinks, then sighs) It's just not funny coming from me, is it?
ALL: No.
"Oh, Hyuuga. Feeling better?"
Hyuuga waved a can of his choice soda. "Much, yes. Anyways, anything
about that stuff about asking for directions to NERV yet?"
ASUKA: (sips her drink) I think I'm starting to like this stuff, even if
it is diet...
Ritsuko walked out of her office. "Caspar detected a blue pattern, but
only very fleetingly. Also, the other two Magi haven't gotten so much as
a trace, so there's no conclusion yet. Especially with the sheer
randomness of it all. The Angels have been much more direct, so it just
doesn't seem quite likely."
"Well, whatever it is...it's been a royal pain."
"And keep that away from the console. Go drink it outside."
Hyuuga flinched. "Yes, ma'am."
ASUKA: No one messes with Ritsuko. She can get angry when she wants to.
TOUJI: Don't worry Asuka. No one can be more terrifying then you.
*SMACK*
ASUKA: (smiling) Thanks Touji!
TOUJI: (thinking) When am I going to learn to just keep my mouth shut?
[Blue pattern, huh? How come we haven't gotten any trace of it?]
[You must reach out with the Fo--]
[WOULD YOU GET OFF THAT DAMN MOVIE ALREADY?!]
KENSUKE: Now I'm getting scared. If they took us over, they'd...
HIKARI: Make us members of the US Film Otaku Club of Japan?
[Okay! Okay. Calm down, you'll burn out a circuit.]
[Too late. I think some of yours carried over to me, or something like
that. Balthshazar. Balthshazar! Get off the freaking Net already, would
you?]
[Sorry, sorry. I found some Babylon 5 clips, and....]
Melchior cursed silently. What was it with him and old Western science
fiction? Then, [Anyways, Caspar--how did you get a blue pattern?]
KENSUKE: Melchior's the only sane computer there.
TOUJI: They're alot like kids, aren't they?
KENSUKE: (sniff) It's so hard to watch them grow up.
[Actually, I guess I happened to be scanning the right place at the
right time. It doesn't seem to leave any footprints or anything like
that, so once it leaves, any pattern traces leave too.]
[Well, until I can see it with my own...um, "eyes", then....]
[Same here.]
[Well, keep looking, then.]
Caspar returned to playing the saved game of Nethack which had somehow
appeared in his memory banks during that one detection of a blue
pattern. [Never got a Tourist advanced this high before. Not bad at
all.]
KENSUKE: CHEATER! GIVE ME BACK MY SAVEFILE!!!
SHINJI: (sweatdrop) Ummm... Kensuke? This isn't real?
KENSUKE: Huh? (sits down) Oh, yeah, right. (to himself) No one must
know...
Fuyutsuki walked into the apartment, briefly noting the odd brown
stains all over the kitchen wall. He promptly ignored them, and
continued into the study.
"Commander?"
"Ah, Fuyutsuki. Update?"
"There may be...what happened to you?"
"I...ah...."
"Did you go talk to Rei again?"
"..."
ASUKA: No fair. She's the popular one...
REI: (softly) It doesn't matter. You get more screen time.
Mental note: don't cross Rei. "Well, anyways. There may be an Angel on
the loose in Tokyo-3. A sort of computer virus, like the eleventh.
Problem is, we can't track the thing, and only Caspar so far has
detected a blue pattern from it. Even then, Caspar isn't completely sure
of it."
Gendou would have been rubbing his chin in thought, were he capable of
moving his arms that way. "Well. Nothing more concrete than that?"
"No, Commander. What about the training today?"
"I suppose if it's that vague, then we should continue. But be ready
to take countermeasures at any time, all right?"
"Right."
Fuyutsuki turned to go, when Gendou suddenly shouted, "So _that's_
it-- OW!"
"Commander?"
"Forgot about the arm again.... That must have been what blew up my
NERV (tm) coffeemaker this morning."
SHINJI: They make everything, don't they?
REI: Yes.
SHINJI: From the looks of the stains on the wall... that must have
been horrible coffee.
REI: Yes.
"Oh. I see." I have _got_ to get out of this business. He again turned
to leave, but--
"Ah, Fuyutsuki?"
"Yes, sir?"
"Could you please push my glasses back up onto the bridge of my nose?
I can't quite do that at the moment."
SHINJI: (laugh) That's kind of sad. That's my father's trademark!
"It's the strangest thing, isn't it?"
Kaji nodded. He was, again, meeting with his contact, this time in a
crowded bar. No one paid them any attention. "Well, you guys have it all
too, don't you? Not like it's classified this time."
"Yes, but we haven't had time to analyze any data yet. Have the Magi
come up with anything?"
"No. At least, not before an hour ago. I haven't heard anything since
then."
"All right."
There was a short pause, as both took sips of their drinks.
"Hmm."
"What?"
"This was kind of pointless, wasn't it?"
"Yeah. And...."
"Hm?"
"Which one of us is saying what line? I mean--this style of writing,
what with the lack of quote attribution here--I can't tell who's saying
what."
"Ah."
ASUKA: Well, we can tell who's who!
SHINJI: No we can't. Its too dark and the noise in that bar is too
high to tell who's saying what.
HIKARI: That conversation can go either way, can't it?
"What's on the schedule today, Misato-san?"
"First off, some target practice. And now that we have all the soul-
filters from...." There was a pause, and the rustle of papers being
read. "From Maxwell House in place, all four of you can train together
again."
SHINJI: Hikari?
HIKARI: Another craving for coffee?
SHINJI: Yep!
HIKARI: Sorry, but I ran out when we ate. I have some tea though.
SHINJI: Never mind, but thanks anyway.
"Yeah, just make sure Units 01 and 00 don't get distracted."
SHINJI: You're not very fair.
A cold, dispassionate voice broke in. "Don't worry about that. I'm
here for only one reason."
ASUKA: Ha! I KNEW it was too good to be true.
Asuka raised an eyebrow. Seemed like Rei was back to her ice queen
mode.
The cold, dispassionate voice warmed up. "But afterwards, on the other
hand...."
ASUKA: *grumble*
REI: ...
Then again, maybe not.
"All right...lock and load, guys." There was just the hint of a laugh
in Misato's voice.
KENSUKE: Should I say anything?
TOUJI: No.
Misato was impressed. Although Asuka's synch readings were still the
same as usual this evening, give or take one or two percent, her aim
was...
*BLAM* "Ha! Dead center!"
ASUKA: Ha! You see? I am better than you, oh so "wonderful" Miss Honor
Student.
REI: ...
ASUKA: Damnit! Why don't you get angry?
...more or less perfect. _That_ meant that it was Asuka herself making
significant improvements. Kind of scary, actually.
SHINJI: (to himself) Maybe I should change seats... and find a different
appartment...
"Wow, Asuka," said an awed Touji, "you're doing great!"
"Indeed," added Rei.
"Huh? What?" Asuka turned EVA-02 to face the others. "I wasn't--"
*BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM*
"--listening. Oh."
The outline of Unit 01's head--including its horn--was neatly
punctured into the wall behind it. Right next to the leftmost bullethole
was the control room. There was a complete, utter lack of movement.
SHINJI: Yiyiyiyiyi... that's too realistic.
ASULA: (laughing like a maniac...)
"Sorry about that."
Shinji grew a sweatdrop.
EVA-01 grew a sweatdrop large enough to fill up a good sized jacuzzi.
Or two.
TOUJI: Hell, you could flood the control center with that much sweat!
KENSUKE: I didn't know and EVA could sweat.
REI: The EVA will reflect the actions of the person.
KENSUKE: Actually, if that fell on somebody, it'd kill them on impact.
REI: ...
KENSUKE: That's pretty disgusting.
ASUKA: It's not surprising you're the one who came up with the idea.
A total and absolute silence marked the following few seconds, broken
quickly by a slight whimpering sound from somewhere.
"Ah, Asuka, maybe you want to put the rifle down for a few moments?"
Misato flicked off the comm switch, eyes wide. "She was _distracted_ and
she managed to do that?" She turned to the others. "I can't...hello?"
Maia peeked her head over the back of her chair, behind which she was
cowering.
ASUKA: (laughing)
(Everyone else chuckles nervously, except for Rei, who seems indifferent.)
"Is she done yet?"
"A-Asuka," wavered Shinji's voice, "whatever it was that I did to you,
I'm really, _really_ sorry. Could--could you point that someplace else?"
ASUKA: (lecherous, evil grin) Just wait until our next test Shinji.
SHINJI: (skin the same colour as Rei's) I'm gonna die!!!
"Not at me! Hey! HEY!" EVA-00 scampered...well, lumbered around to
avoid the potential line of fire.
ASUKA: Now I know how to get back at the First Children too...
REI: ... I believe you're going mad with power.
Ritsuko picked herself up off the floor. "That was...interesting.
Very. Hyuuga?"
Aoba sat up. "I think he hit his head again. He's out cold and
mumbling 'Mommy, Mommy'...oh, damn, he's going to need to change his
pants, too."
TOUJI: *ugh* That's not fun to watch.
HIKARI: How do you think they feel? They're right there!
"Sorry, sorry! I'll put on the--"
*BLAMBLAMBLAM*
"--safety?"
ASUKA: Uhhhh...
This time, Misato had also thrown herself to the floor. She sat up,
wincing. She hit the comm switch and said, "Touji-kun, there's no need
to keep praying out loud. She's out of ammuni--"
*BLAM*
A bit of glass went *tinkle*.
ASUKA: MAYBE that's not such a good idea afterall...
"Remind me," came Misato's muffled voice from beneath the computer
terminal, "never to say _anything_ at all. Ever."
SHINJI: Sound advice.
TOUJI/KENSUKE: Don't disrespect Misato!
The Angel "staggered" through a few more circuits. Then, it realized
something.
It was in an EVA. Unit 02, it seemed. And what was more, it was
active.
[EUREKA! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!]
SHINJI/ASUKA: Uh oh.
REI: ...
Now, then, to infiltrate--
"Great job, you all...especially you, Asuka. No, don't try to bow,
it's okay. Stop waving that rifle all over. All right, let's call it a
day."
"Turning off external power...draining internal reserves. Has anyone
found my Prozac yet?"
"No, but here are some of those dried frog pills that I haven't used
yet--"
*WHIIIiiiirrrrrr*
The systems went dark as everything was shut down.
[I have no eyes and I must cry....]
REI: (half-smile)
SHINJI: (chuckling)
ASUKA: (laughing loudly)
HIKARI: (just plain laughing)
TOUJI: (laughing while rolling on the floor)
KENSUKE: (laughing while falling out of his chair and bending his
glasses)
ASUKA: Watching the Angels suffer is good for a laugh.
SHINJI: But... is it really good to wish suffering on others?
ASUKA: This isn't a time for lessons on morals Shinji-kun.
Misato jogged up to join Asuka, who was just leaving the locker room.
"You did really great today." Misato wasn't sure what was setting Asuka
off, but a compliment would never hurt.
TOUJI: Always good to keep vicious wackos on your side.
*WHACK*
"Yeh. Thanks." Asuka sighed.
"Something wrong?"
KENSUKE: Of COURSE something's wrong! She blew up the control room!
What do you think?!
They both stepped into the elevator. Misato punched the button to take
them to the indoor parking lot.
"Well...I...." Asuka frowned, waving her hands around in an attempt to
wrench out the words to express her disquiet. "Ah...I don't know. I
can't say exactly."
"I understand. It's all been...very weird for us."
"Sorry about shooting up the control room...did you get all the glass
out of your hair?"
TOUJI: That'd be painful to sleep with.
"Yeah. Don't worry about it--you showed a huge amount of improvement
otherwise."
They rode on, in silence.
Something finally occurred to Misato.
"Wait, where's Shinji?"
Asuka wrinkled her nose. Carefully, she chose out some words to convey
her distaste. "He and Rei are, as could be said, deep in
'conversation'."
ASUKA: *twitch*
SHINJI: (blush)
REI: (slight blush, unnoticable)
In a lounge, somewhere in HQ, with the lights dimmed down a bit....
Two figures still dressed in plug suits, one mostly white, the other
blue and white, were sitting on a couch. Or more precisely, the one in
blue and white was sitting on the couch, while the one in mostly white
was on the lap of the first. Needless to say, they were _very_ close to
each other.
ASUKA: ...
SHINJI: (fanning himself) Is it hot in here or is it just me?
REI: (blushing) Oh my.
HIKARI: (nothing)
TOUJI/KENSUKE: (grinning widely)
"Well...what do you suppose Nietzsche _did_ mean by that?"
"I'm not sure myself."
They were deep in conversation, indeed. A rather cozy scene, it was...
"Oh, forget about it."
*smooch*
...and even more so now.
ASUKA: Are they allowed to show this?!
HIKARI: Calm down...
TOUJI: Haha!
KENSUKE: You GO Shinji! Busy with the ladies aren't we? Or should I
say... Rei?
REI: (red: this means RED)
SHINJI: Why Kensuke? Are you jealous?
KENSUKE: Well I... ummm...
SHINJI: (to Rei) That shut him up.
REI: (to Shinji) And I thought hitting him would have worked...
TOUJI: Oh, isn't this comfy, the two of them "talking" in private. What
about I wonder?
ASUKA: (glare of pure evil to Touji) Touji...
TOUJI: (crying) I'm gonna die...
*WHACK* (from Hikari)
"I guess...I do feel lonely," admitted Asuka.
Misato and Asuka were now careening down the road to the apartment.
The moon, looming in the sky, cast a silvery sheen over the landscape.
"Oh, really? I guess I can see that."
"It's so weird, though. I never had many friends in Germany or the
United States. Here, I've got Hikari, and...there are three other people
here who understand. Understand what it is to be one of the Children."
"But, with everything going on lately, you feel left out."
Asuka hesitated, then nodded. Misato smiled.
"Well, then, maybe you should do a little...ah, searching yourself."
Asuka frowned. "What, with _those_ losers? All the guys at school are
a bunch of creeps and perverts. I mean, the best of them...." She
trailed off there for a moment, then continued. "Besides, I'm not
interested in _boys_. I'm looking for a _man_. Like Kaji." She smiled, a
slowly fading smile.
KENSUKE: You don't give us much credit, do you?
ASUKA: I only speak the truth.
TOUJI: /o"I'm not inCLUded, because I have a GIRLfriend."/o
ASUKA: You're an exception.
TOUJI: *grumble*
Misato looked at her a little worriedly. But then, she always had been
the irate type, when it came to boys. And the whole thing about Kaji....
She could feel herself starting to blush.
"Misato?"
"Hm?"
"You're in the--"
*HOOONK* *HOOOOOOOOOONK*
"--WRONG LANE! WRONG LAAAAANE!!!!!!"
"YAAAAAHHH!!!!"
*scrEEEEEEEch*
REI: (wide-eyed)
SHINJI: (blinking) Ummm...
ASUKA: (facefault) He... he... killed me?!
HIKARI: You're not dead.
ASUKA: I'm in a car accident. How can I not be dead?!
Shinji and Rei finally came up for air.
ASUKA: Like I need to hear that now. I'm dead damnit!
"Y'know, Rei-chan, as strange as it's all been, I'm glad."
"So am I." Rei rested her head against Shinji's chest, listening to
his slow breathing. He lightly ran his fingers through her short hair.
TOUJI/KENSUKE: Do we get a live immitation?
REI/SHINJI: Not for you perverts.
"But I'm wondering about Asuka."
Rei pulled away slightly, to look him in the eyes. "What do you mean?"
ASUKA: *sigh* This is the part where he confesses his love for me, but
it's too late because I died...
HIKARI: Ummm... Asuka?
ASUKA: Hmmm... Did I say that out loud? Well, it doesn't mean I'd
care. No way!
"Well," he slowly spoke, "she's been acting weird. I mean, sometimes
she's all uppity like she's always been, but at other times...well, like
during training, today. She was so, so distracted."
Rei nodded. "Well, she's been able to manage before."
Shinji chuckled. "It's just that I'm not sure that we will. She really
shot up the training area today."
"Well...maybe, maybe we should help her get her mind off of things.
Help her adjust."
"Sounds good. But how?"
KENSUKE: Oooh, I have such a good comment on this one!
ASUKA: Save yourself the pain.
KENSUKE: ...I think I will.
"We'll figure out something. Maybe we should talk to Hikari, too;
they're close friends, and I think she'd like to help out."
Shinji nodded his assent. They sat in silence for a few minutes, just
thinking and...snuggling, for lack of a better word.
TOUJI: It sure shows up on screen much more detailed.
"Shoot, look at the time. I'd better get home...."
Rei pouted cutely, something which she getting even better at
nowadays.
"Ah...but I'm sure Misato won't mind me being a little late...."
TOUJI: Shinji you sly dog...
SHINJI: You're too into this Touji.
REI: I wonder if I could make an expression like that? Why would I?
Meanwhile, in one of the EVA cages....
[o/" Nobody knows...the trouble I've seen.... o/"]
Even an Angel can become bored.
ASUKA: (laughing again)
SHINJI: (to himself) She's enjoying this too much...
"Next time, I drive."
"Ah, heh...sorry. But Asuka, you don't have a license yet."
ASUKA: I'm alive? Thank God, er... well, you know.
HIKARI: You see, I told you!
"Neither will you, if you keep that up."
Misato yanked open the refrigerator and grabbed herself a beer. Or
two. Or, actually, four. "Want anything to eat or drink?"
TOUJI: How does she manage to fit all that alcohol in her fridge?
SHINJI: Simple. It's the only thing in there.
"No...." Asuka plopped down on the couch and lay there, staring at the
ceiling.
"You know, that used to be Shinji's job."
"Eh--what?"
"Lying down, looking at nothing, and thinking all the time. Looks like
he's rubbing off on you." Misato smiled.
Asuka's brow creased. "Shinji. It's his fault, I know it. I just have
to figure out how." She sighed.
ASUKA: What is this? Personality roulette?
"Well, take it easy. I gotta do some work...." Misato left the living
room and retreated to her bedroom. Asuka resumed staring up at the
ceiling.
KENSUKE: (sagely) Work which probably involves heavy drinking.
Well, here I am again. Shinji's out there...with Rei.... Hikari's busy
tonight with her family and Touji. Kensuke...so, he lost his savefile.
Big deal.
Kaji...where is he? I mean, I haven't seen him in days. I know he'd
understand me. Of course he would. Being lonely sucks....
KENSUKE: Yes it does.
ASUKA: Well, I'm not lonely, so you get to be alone by yourself.
Finally, she gave up, and turned on the TV, doing a bit of channel
surfing. Finally, she settled on some old gaijin movie, untranslated,
set in outer space somewhere. Of note was...what was that, a "laitoseba"
wossname? She really needed to brush up on her English.
SHINJI: There's that "wossname" again.
KENSUKE: Dang. I don't know what it is. I'm not perfect. (frowns)
Sometime during the movie, Asuka drifted off towards sleep, just about
to embark on an Enlightening Dream Sequence (tm). Unfortunately--
*creak*
"I'm home," whispered a voice. It was followed by the careful shutting
of a door, and tiptoes that went near the couch. Shinji.
Asuka waited until he was just past her when she got up.
"Hey."
"WAAAAAUGH!!"
She had never seen anyone jump so high without a running start.
SHINJI: Aren't you supposed to be laughing at me now?
ASUKA: Yeah... but, I don't feel like it. It's strange.
"Something wrong?"
"*gasp* N-no, not at...at all...."
Misato poked her head out of her room. "Something wrong out there? Oh,
Shinji."
"I, I'm all right...she just kind of surprised me."
"Well, all right, but don't come back so late next time. At least,
tell me first." She smiled, then ducked back inside.
ASUKA: Unfair!
SHINJI: (to himself) There we go.
"And where have you been?"
"Ah, heh, just making ou--time! Making time with Rei. That's all."
TOUJI: (grin) "Making time" eh? I didn't know they called it that now.
KENSUKE: Do you ever "make time" with anyone Shinji? (grinning,
indicating Rei)
REI: (softly) Why Kensuke? Did you want to "make time" with him?
I think Shinji would prefer to "make time" with a female, am I
right Shinji-kun?
(Rei leans over Shinji, so that her face is about half an inch away from
Shinji's face.)
SHINJI: (blushing) I'd think so.
KENSUKE: !!!
(Asuka and Hikari start laughing.)
TOUJI: (nudging Kensuke, grinning) That backfired, didn't it?
KENSUKE: Since when does Rei come up with comebacks like that? Since
when does she come up with comebacks period? Hell, since when
does she insult anyone for any reason except when talking
about Commander Ikari?
TOUJI: Face it, you can't win.
KENSUKE: My life sucks.
Asuka "hmph"ed at him, then stalked to her room, giving him one last
withering look. Shinji sighed in relief. This had been a day of ups and
downs.
KENSUKE: (sadly) I'm too depressed to make a comment.
(Asuka and Hikari are still laughing at him.)
Let it never be said that the Magi neglect their duties. Always at
work, 24 hours a day, running the city of Tokyo-3. Keeping a watch for
certain elements that seem bent on harming mankind. Ensuring the safety
of not only the residents of their city, but, verily, the entire world.
[Any more traces, Caspar?]
[No, none at all. Well, the incidents seem to have stopped, so maybe
it's all over.]
[Yeah. Well, neither of us got anything today. I--] Melchior stopped.
[What is it?]
[I hear something odd. Music.]
Balthshazar strained his "ears". [Yeah...sounds like....]
[Sounds like...someone singing..."Achy Breaky Heart"?]
*GROAN*
SHINJI: So we have an angel stuck in the 1900s...
[Egad.]
[From nearby. The EVA cages.]
[One of the techs, probably.... They're still doing some maintenance
on Unit 02.]
[Maybe if we ignore it, it'll go away?]
[Already doing it, Balthshazar.]
Let it never be said that...oh, forget it.
ASUKA: Well, let it be said that our lives are governed by a bunch
of computers with the intellects of 10 year olds.
KENSUKE: And we're proud of it!
For some reason, though she was now lying in her bed, Asuka couldn't
sleep. She sighed.
Well, today was pretty good. My aim's way up...beat Shinji, hah. Let's
see _him_ hit five bullseyes in a row.
ASUKA: That would be a nightmare, not a dream.
He seemed pretty happy when he walked in, aside from the sneaking
part.
Ah, who cares? The important thing is, I'm doing way better than he
is. And Rei. And Touji. I'm the best.
ASUKA: I told you!
But it's annoying, the way he--
Shut up, already! Don't worry about that. Tomorrow, tomorrow we've got
some more training. Hand-to-hand stuff. I'll show them, I will.
ASUKA: (to herself) This man really knows my life well. It's scary...
Asuka rolled over on her stomach, slowly curling her fingers through
her hair.
Am I going to have to stare at them four all cozy together?
What's your problem? Stop worry about them, already. You...I mean, _I_
am doing fine.
Well....
Gah. I'm whining with myself. This is bad.
TOUJI: I didn't know she could whine.
Asuka turned her head, staring at the clock next to her bed. Hmm, it
wasn't that late anyway. Might as well do some reading. She turned on
the light on her nightstand and picked up a book.
Yeah, tomorrow. I'll show them.
SHINJI: He doesn't seem to know Asuka very well.
TOUJI: Yeah, the Asuka we know would is extremely confident.
KENSUKE: Yeah. And she'd NEVER resort to such lonely acts. Right?
HIKARI: ...
ASUKA: Yeah... right.
Rei lay on her bed, staring sightlessly at the ceiling. A faint smile
touched her lips, like the one she smiled when Shinji-kun once asked for
her to smile. He didn't have to ask, anymore, she'd gladly smile for
him, anytime....
ASUKA: Sugar... overload!
Her eyes drooped and finally closed.
*bam* *bam* "The Council of Ayanami will now be in order." *bam*
It was a conference room, of sorts. It was filled with Ayanami Reis,
like in part 2, except now they were more organized. At the front of the
room was Original, who presided as the ChairAyanami. Seated around her
were the other Ayanamis (except for Lazy Rei, who was off asleep
somewhere). As usual, they were all dressed in the blue school uniform
(except for Professional, in her plug suit). They were now silent, all
attention focused on the ChairAyanami.
You ain't seen surreal until you've seen this.
REI: Absolutely breathtaking.
KENSUKE: Great. Now she's beginning to act vain too.
SHINJI: I never knew there could be so many of... you!
----------------------------------------
[This is such an ironic line, isn't it?]
----------------------------------------
ASUKA: My nightmare's come true! AAAA!!!
Original put down her gavel and then spoke. "I will now turn the floor
over to Book, who will give a report on the past few days."
Book stepped up to a podium. "Our relationship with Ikari Shinji-kun
has progressed very swiftly--" she paused, interrupted by some cheering
from the back; Affectionate, of course. "Many thanks to Affectionate.
Also, thanks to Nervous, who managed to keep things under control and
stop us from scaring Shinji away by being, that is, too forward." She
gave a piercing glance at Affectionate, who blushed a little, and
grinned. Book continued. "Attempts to keep us separated have been,
fortunately, easily put aside, with help from our, ah, Physical Security
official." She nodded at Kickboxer Rei, who nodded back. "So far,
everything concerning Shinji-kun has been just fine. However, there is
now another problem." Book stepped down, and Nervous took her place.
ASUKA: Amazing. She's even organized in her sleep.
"Uh, um, well, it's about Asuka. Er, Souryuu Asuka Langley."
ASUKA: Everyone spells my name differently...
Nervous paused and took a few breaths. "Ah, I think she's going a
little nuts or something out there. Ikari-kun mentioned that it was
probably somewhat, ah, related to us an' Hikari and Touji, y'know...."
Her lip quirked as she thought. "Sometimes, she's just annoying as
usual, but then, she gets just...really out there. It's weird."
Nervous sat back down.
ASUKA: Nicely stated "Rei". You think I'm annoying?
REI: I never said anything.
"So, the agenda is to find a solution to this. And beating up is out
of the question." Irate Rei sat back down, grumbling. Common Sense Rei
stood up. "The Chair recognizes Common Sense."
ASUKA: Awwwwwww. But I LIKE Irate Rei!
HIKARI: (thinking) Well, at least SOMEONE has some common sense...
"As stated, it is probably related to feelings of lonliness on Asuka's
part, as her friends and colleagues are suddenly, ah, occupied with each
other. Therefore, one solution would be to, ah, distract her similarly."
"Play matchmaker, in other words," called out Affectionate.
"You could say it that way."
"Are there any other proposals, _besides_ kicking her into next week?"
Irate Rei again sat down grumbling. No one else said anything. "Well,
then, it seems that would be the chosen means." Several of the more
attentive Reis nodded in return.
ASUKA: Huh. Who are they gonna try to pair me up with?
Common Sense continued. "And, of course, there is one obvious
vic--that is, candidate who comes to mind." She paused.
"Kensuke," said each and every single one of them, simultaneously.
Practical Joker Rei started to laugh.
(Shinji, Touji, and Hikari start laughing. Kensuke looks nervous, while
Rei looks... amused. As for Asuka... well...)
ASUKA: AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS B-A-K-A!!!
KENSUKE: The feeling's mutual.
Rei--that is, the real-world Rei--woke with a start. Blinking, she saw
that the clock read 3 AM. With a sigh, she buried her head underneath
her pillow.
"Why can't I ever have a _normal_ dream?"
REI: Why can't I dream at all?
Asuka was smirking, confidently. She had been smirking all morning.
Shinji took this to be a good sign. "Well, maybe she'll be all right
now. What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"
Rei hesitated a moment. "It was about a possible way to stabilize
Asuka, but I don't know if it's necessary anymore."
"What's that? I heard my name."
"Nothing to worry about, Asuka," said Rei, smoothly. "We're just glad
to see you back to your usual self."
"Ah, that," said Asuka dismissively. "I'm fine. So good of you to be
concerned." She smirked some more. It didn't quite reach her eyes, but
she was trying hard.
When she left the area again, Shinji whispered to Rei. "Then again,
she does seem to be overdoing it a little bit. Best just keep an eye on
her for now."
Class started.
KENSUKE: I'm at a loss for words.
TOUJI: Me too.
ASUKA: Why?
KENSUKE: Because it was normal! I can't make any jokes about that!
ASUKA: Nobody wants to listen to you anyway, so it's no big loss.
The Children piled into their EVAs and gathered in the Really Big
Room. (The Big Room was still being repaired.) Misato was again in
charge of the control room.
HIKARI: There's another room?
REI: Yes. There's a room normally used for one EVA at a time, and
another used for all of the EVAs at the same time.
HIKARI: Why did they use the smaller room before?
REI: I don't know.
"All right, today's going to be close quarters combat training. Touji,
you'll need this most, since you're the newest." She paused. "Therefore,
we're going to have to push you a little bit. Shinji, you and Touji
match off first. Asuka and Rei, you stand and watch for now."
Touji went a little pale. "I'm going to have to fight _him_?" Shinji
did, after all, have the best combat record of the three veterans.
TOUJI: Hand to hand, that's where I shine!
SHINJI: (looking depressed)
TOUJI: Technically, you still owe me another hit you know...
"Don't worry. Just remember what you _can_ do that he can't."
"What?"
"You'll find out, Shinji."
He's been here a month, and I haven't heard about this? Oh well. Both
of us need the practice. "All right."
*pow*
"ANGK! Hwot hwas thanght?" Shinji held his now slightly bleeding nose.
EVA-03 hadn't moved forward, from the other side of the room, and yet--
"He bobbed me righnt on da nose!"
ASUKA/TOUJI/KENSUKE: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
HIKARI: *snicker*
SHINJI: I didn't find it all that funny.
REI: ...Ow.
"Hey, it did work! Ha!" Touji cackled. His EVA's arms had elongated to
around three times their normal length and smacked Unit 01 right in the
face.
Misato just smiled. "Did the Gumby trick, eh?"
The brawl was soon underway.
TOUJI/KENSUKE: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
SHINJI: You get beaten up, don't you?
TOUJI: ...
Asuka watched with extreme interest at the two fighting. After a
little dancing around, Shinji had finally gotten past Touji's long
reach, and they were now grappling in close quarters. "I'll have to take
notes," she said.
"It is a good idea. You never know what form or ability the next Angel
may have. They--" Rei ducked as a piece of wall went flying past her
EVA's head. "They have always seemed to have some sort of advantage in
the past."
TOUJI: How do they remain so calm?
KENSUKE: Man, being an EVA pilot is so cool!
Asuka nodded as she watched Unit 01 perform quite a piledriver on 03.
"Now, that had to hurt."
"NOOGIE!!!!!" Shinji introduced EVA-03's head to 01's fist. Unit 01's
legs were subsequently yanked out from underneath by a maneuver known
usually only to contortionists of the extreme type.
SHINJI: "Noogie"! That sounds so... so...
ASUKA: Wimpy? It definitely doesn't seem like it...
"No," said Rei, "_that_ had to hurt." It was a two-and-a-half nelson,
which could only be accomplished with the seemingly rubber limbs that
Unit 03 had. Unit 01's head was now being smashed into the floor. "I
wonder if my EVA could be fitted for those kinds of arms...."
REI: It is the prototype, and a test type now. Everything is supposed
to be tested on it.
SHINJI: Or on mine. I wonder if those would come in handy?
"Ooh, now that's impressive. I didn't realize that Shinji knew how to
tie a knot like that."
"That wasn't Shinji; Touji did that to his own arms. Ah, looks like he
got himself undone." The fact that EVA-01 was now flying across the room
attested to that statement. "Maintenance isn't going to be pleased."
HIKARI: There doesn't happen to be a "Really REALLY Big Room", does
there?
Shinji quickly closed in, before Touji could bring in the stretchiness
factor, but was quickly grabbed into a headlock. The Fourth Child
cackled. "Ha! Let's see how _you_ handle a noog--OW!"
"Heh, like the horn?" Shinji performed a quick (if clumsy) judo throw,
smashing Touji onto his back.
"Taught him that move myself," said Rei with pride.
SHINJI: This is pretty good actually...
TOUJI: Assuming no one gets their back broken, hint hint.
"All right, that'll do for you guys. Take a breather. Girls, it's your
turn now."
ASUKA: Shut up Kensuke.
KENSUKE: But I didn't say anything yet!
ASUKA: I know. I'm telling you in advance.
01 and 03 shambled to the side, while 00 and 02 took up their
positions.
This promised to be fun. What better way to work off the tensions
accumulating over the past few days? Asuka grinned and asked, "You
ready?" Rei nodded.
EVA-02 charged.
ASUKA: (thinking) THIS should be fun...
Having gotten lost somewhere around Negative Three Thousand Six
Hundred Fifty-Eight Bottles of Sapporo On the Wall, the thirteenth Angel
finally realized that its host was active and ready to go.
[It's showtime....]
ASUKA: No! Oh, this isn't any good...
Asuka's battlecry rang through the Big Room, while Rei merely stared
at the charging EVA coolly. Then, something happened. Were this written
in script format, it would go something like
[the view suddenly zooms in on Asuka's left eye, and then goes dark]
or so. But it's not, so it'll just be said that SOMETHING HAPPENED.
EVA-02 suddenly stopped in its tracks. It was quiet, suddenly, in the
area. But with the Magi, it was suddenly different.
[BLUE PATTERN DETECTED BLUE PATTERN DETECTED]
[SOURCE FROM EVANGELION UNIT 02]
[BLUE PATTERN DETECTED BLUE PATTERN DETECTED]
ASUKA: Not fair!
Suddenly, everything--_everything_--was happening suddenly.
"WHAT?!"
And before anyone could do anything, Unit 02 charged again. Suddenly.
"Rei! LOOK OUT!" Then, to the techs--"Cut Unit 02's power supply NOW!"
*PFFSSSS* *CLANK*
"No good! Some internal energy source is powering it!"
"What about the pilot?"
"Can't get any readings on her...doesn't seem like she's linked to the
EVA right now...."
Shinji jumped up to catch the berserk robot, but was backhanded away.
It reached Unit 00 and grabbed it by the neck. Rei, startled, had only
time to grab at the arms before they suddenly twisted and snapped the
neck.
"REIIIIIIIII!!!!!!"
ASUKA: Holy... (to herself) I'd never wish that on anybody, not even
Wonder Girl...
SHINJI: (stunned, somewhat distracted)
"Pilot is...unconscious, but alive. She's all right!"
EVA-02 dropped 00 just in time to be slammed into the wall by an
equally berserk EVA-01.
ASUKA: Nani?
SHINJI: (heavy breathing) Not again...
"Shinji, don't--"
"IT HURT REI!"
"You can't--"
"IT'S AN ANGEL, ISN'T IT?!"
ASUKA: What are you thinking! That stopped you the last time!
TOUJI: (rubbing his own arm) Well, love will do that to you.
KENSUKE: It makes you violent?
TOUJI: Yes.
"But Asuka's in there!"
There was a pause, filled with the sounds of the walls cracking from
the pressure. "Yeah?"
ASUKA: He doesn't care?!
SHINJI: Well, what's not true, but... it's not real Asuka.
ASUKA: But it looks it!
"SHINJI!!"
"ALL RIGHT! But what can I DO!?"
ASUKA: For starters, don't kill me, or her, whatever.
Asuka blinked, and rubbed her head in pain. What had happened? Well,
it was most decidedly odd, whatever it was. She looked around, through
the sudden gloom.
She was not in the entry plug. At least, the last time she checked,
there hadn't been any vegetation growing in it. She got up off the
ground, brushed off her plug suit, and walked towards a soft glow.
There, she found.... Well, whatever it was, it looked like a rather
ratty little creature. It certainly smelled ratty. And it was sitting on
top of what appeared to be a clay statue.
KENSUKE: Made from rats?
HIKARI: No, clay.
It was humming a tune to itself, somewhat out of key.
ASUKA: This guy likes to sing, doesn't he?
Shinji was now straining to hold down Unit 02, without trying to
damage it. At least, not too badly. Touji attempted to find a good place
to grab on and help Shinji hold 02 down, but it kept on moving too much.
"Come ON! I can't hold it too much longer!"
"Commander! You're finally here...another slow moving car?"
"Ah, er, yes. Shinji...."
"DON'T JUST STAND THERE!! TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!"
SHINJI: Is he saying I can't make dceisions for myself?
ASUKA: You've always just followed orders. Well, there was those two
times when...
SHINJI: I get the idea.
"Who the hell are you?"
The creature jumped and whirled around, almost falling off the head of
the statue.
[Wha-what-eh?]
Asuka blinked. She wasn't quite sure whether she was _hearing_ the
thing speak, or _seeing_ the words that it was speaking. She shook her
head irritatedly.
"I said, who the hell are you?"
The thing started to sweat a little bit. [Ah, ah, ah...I'm...ah...your
soul! Yeah, that's right.]
ASUKA: Impossible! It's too damn ugly!
Asuka recoiled. "DU!?" She lapsed into German. "Du bist meine Seele!?"
[Uh...what?]
"Du, du kleines Stueck Dreck? Igittigittigitt...."
[I can't understand a word you're saying.]
Asuka got a handle on herself. "You're my soul."
[Absolutely right. Ah, heh.]
ASUKA: My soul can speak German. Imposter!
She started to fume a bit. "This sucks! I mean, Shinji's looks a
little silly, I suppose, but Rei's is...it's so cool looking, and....."
She shook her head, unable to verbally express the grandeur of Rei's
essence. "And here I am, stuck with an ugly little bastard like _you_!?"
The thing bristled, but decided not to snap back. [You got it. Heh.]
Asuka shook her head and sighed. "Isn't this the sort of thing that's
supposed to happen to Shinji? I mean, come on...weirdness like this is
his job, not mine."
The creature thought quickly. [Shinji...Shinji...oh, right your--I
mean, our friend, the, ah, other pilot. You, you, ah, we, never mind.]
She stared at it, hard. "What?"
ASUKA: Oh come on! You don't actually believe this, do you?
[Ah, nothing, nothing at all. Well, why might you be here, do you
think?]
"You're asking me?"
[Well, I, uh, don't know everything that goes on....]
Asuka shrugged. "I don't know myself." She looked around. "Do you have
any idea what all of this is supposed to represent? Or that statue, for
that matter." She stepped closer. The statue edged back away from her, a
little bit.
Dammit, dammit, I think I'm in trouble, dammit..... [It's, ah, your
mind, you see, and here I am, in the middle of it, of course! Yes. And,
er, this statue is, you see, you, that is your physical body. And,
and....]
ASUKA: In addition to being an ugly little freak, he's a lousy liar.
Asuka stepped closer again. Now, she got a really good look at the
thing and also got a stronger whiff of what scent it was carrying.
Asuka's vanity struggled with what she had just been told, and her
vanity won. Very easily. "I don't believe it. No way. Not a chance. I
won't believe it. I'm asking you again. What are you, and what is that
thing you're sitting on?"
ASUKA: Alright Asuka! That's the spirit!
It paused. [Oh, forget it. I'm Angel number 13, and this here is the
metaphysical equivalent of EVA-02. A golem, an artificial human.] Then,
to the golem, it said, [Sic her!]
Asuka's eyes widened.
ASUKA: Damn.
KENSUKE: Chase scene!
"Try to get the entry plug out first."
"I can't...it's too hard to be holding this down against the wall, I
can't let it go to get to the plug."
Gendou sighed. Just perfect.
SHINJI: Let's see YOU help pull it out with both of your arms in slings.
"Damn it," panted Asuka, "these things aren't supposed to happen to
me. Just Shinji, or maybe Rei...not me." She ducked around a tree,
hearing the rumbles of the golem stomping behind her.
TOUJI: I thought nothing bad is supposed to happen to you.
ASUKA: Nothing bad will either. This is ME we're talking about!
Funny, this. She was running away from her own EVA, if that golem
really was supposed to represent her EVA. It was certainly symbolic.
Unfortunately, she had no idea what it might mean. Anyways, time to try
to stop the thing.
Asuka stepped out from the shadows of some shrubbery.
"In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost--I command you
to LEAVE!!"
The Angel blinked. The golem paused, then kept coming.
Asuka took off again.
KENSUKE: She forget to make the sign of the cross.
TOUJI: HOlding up a crucifix isn't enough.
The golem charged around a few trees.
"Take THIS!"
A pair of wards slapped on the chest of the statue, then fluttered
limply to the ground.
[I don't think Shinto and Judaism mix.]
"Geez...I hate comparative religion."
HIKARI: That's what starts a lot of problems at home. Marrying into
different religions.
"MOON TIARA ACTION!"
*clatter*
[Now, I didn't think much about the paper for those wards, though I
was wondering a little about where you could have tucked away a crucifix
on that plug suit of yours, but where did you get that glorified
frisbee?]
TOUJI/KENSUKE: *chuckle*
ASUKA: (too herself) This is SO embarrassing...
"CRAP!" Asuka again resumed running.
Wait....
Golems were artificial humans. They got their "life" from the words
written on their head. Rub out the words, somehow, and....
"Good thing I took a look at that translation of the Kabbalah...but
how am I going to get rid of the words?"
Then, she knew.
[What now, little girl? Going to ask the hamadryad in that tree to
help?]
*crack*
[Wh--]
*THWOP*
SHINJI: (blink) That's...
REI: ...a rather disgusting way to die.
HIKARI: I think I'm going to be sick.
TOUJI/KENSUKE: Cool!
ASUKA: Yuck. Still, it worked...
"Touji! Can you reach it?"
"Almost...damn! My hand slipped."
Gendou's face was grim. It looked like....
It looked like Unit 02 had just suddenly sagged to the ground,
unmoving.. He spun around. "Report!"
"There is no power running in Unit 02 now...systems are shutting down.
But--there's still a blue pattern showing. Damn!"
He turned back around, to see Shinji and Touji struggling with the
hatch. "Get her out, now!"
"It's no good," said Shinji. "The plate isn't coming off. I really
don't understand it."
KENSUKE: *sigh* It's so serious again,
SHINJI: No it's not.
KENSUKE: How?
SHINJI: My father... he's actually worried about someone's life.
KENSUKE: Hey... you're right. That IS funny!
Brute force seems to be a good answer to certain questions....
In front of Asuka was the statue, a chunk of its forehead sheared off.
That piece was what had the holy words written on it, which had given
the golem its life. A tree branch lay next to it, half snapped through.
A little farther beyond was the rat-thing that was the thirteenth Angel.
She was presently lying down on the grass, panting. Her body was thin,
yes, but filling out nicely. And what was on there was almost all
muscle. Still, it really wouldn't hurt if she stopped by the weight room
every now and then. At least, try jogging a bit every day.
ASUKA: ??? What the...
TOUJI: Pitures like that definitely don't reveal her personality.
ASUKA: Is that some kind of sexist remark?
TOUJI: No! No, it's just, that-- ummm...
*SMACK*
On the border of her mind, something was whispering to her that this
all wasn't really happening, that this wasn't her physical body. That,
then, asked the question, why she was feeling out of shape.
Her mental defenses decided to ignore it and just get on with things.
Philosophical questions would have to wait.
She staggered to her feet. Holding her breath, she walked over, picked
it up by what might be technically termed a "neck", and glared at it...
though it is slightly hard to glare when a lingering stench is making
your eyes cross.
[Um...I'm sorry?]
"No, you're pathetic."
*punt*
ASUKA: Football!
SHINJI: Angelball!
Asuka watched the Angel with the remarkably short successful career it
as it flew far, far away, seemed to hit some sort of threshold with a
wettish sounding sort of *thwap*, and immediately disappeared in a soft
flash of light.
Enough of that thing....
ASUKA: (proudly) Ha! I won! And all by myself too!
...
Wonder if I'll ever get to do that to an Angel. Looks like fun!
"Blue pattern gone, sir! Pilot is reviving...Asuka's conscious."
"Hallo, Leute...."
"Asuka? Are you all right?"
"Was? Wie, bitte? Was ist denn los?"
"Oh, dear." Ritsuko let go of the intercom button and leaned over to
Aoba. "Go get Ya-ko-bu Shu...Shurot...Shu-roto-shu-te-e-e.... Er. Um.
Shurotoshuteshe.... Dammit. The German translator guy...."
"Sie meinen, Herr Jakob Schrottstechler. Jawohl, Frau Doktor!"
"Aoba-kun, if you can speak German fluently, why don't you just say
so?"
The intercom crackled again. "Spricht hier niemand Deutsch? Ich--aua,
das tut weh.... Hat jemand ein paar Aspirin? Ich habe Kopfschmerzen."
KENSUKE: I need subtitles.
ASUKA: Not me. I don't think I need Aspirin.
TOUJI: (to herself) Even I picked that part up.
Shinji sat by Rei's hospital bed. They had said the shock of virtually
feeling her neck snap had put her out, but that she would be okay.
Still, he had been fretting nervously, and was immensely relieved when
he saw her eyes flutter open.
"Rei-chan...." He took her hand in his.
ASUKA: Oh PLEASE.
"Shinji-kun? Is...."
"Everything's all right. The Angel's gone.. Asuka's okay, if a little
out of it right now. How do you feel?"
"Just...a little tired. What happened, anyway?"
TOUJI: This is such a cliche...
"The Angel...remember that thing that kept on asking for directions
all of yesterday?" Rei nodded. "It got into Unit 02...it attacked
and...." Shinji paused, shuddering. "But Asuka managed to stop it and
then force it out. There's not any trace of it, the Magi say. She's
going to be okay, and...so will you, they tell me." He smiled.
Rei sat up slowly, returning the smile. "I feel better already." She
leaned towards him. He leaned towards her.
Two rooms down, a diabetic went into seizures. It took a few megadoses
of insulin to get him back to a stable condition.
ASUKA: I don't suppose you have any insulin in that bag of yours, do
you Hikari?
HIKARI: No, why?
ASUKA: That scene was two sweet.
"Aw, forget it."
Kensuke, oblivious to the life and death drama that just finished
playing itself out, had been working for the past two hours on restoring
his savefile, to no avail. It was simply time to give up.
HIKARI: He's still obsessed with the video game?
[aida% mount floppy_]
[aida% cd floppy_]
[aida% rm *_]
[rm: remove all files? y_]
[are you sure? y_]
[are you really, really sure? y_]
[think it over. are you absolutely sure? yes dammit_]
[Hello? Is there anyonAAAAAARRGHNONONONONOsqueep]
[aida% _]
For some reason, despite losing the file for good, Kensuke felt
vaguely satisfied.
KENSUKE: (sniff) Goodbye.
ASUKA: Well, now its obvious why he doesn't have a girlfriend...
"Heh. Gotta love UNIX."
The writer nodded. Unfortunately, he also brushed a few keys that he
shouldn't have.
[Kernel corrupted]
[System is going down NOW]
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
KENSUKE: At least I'm not alone.
***
To be continued....
***
SHINJI: To be continued? That means...
REI: That's it. We've seen everything that the others have.
ASUKA: Hold on... there're more notes here.
KENSUKE: They weren't here before. Why only now are they here with
the six of us?
TOUJI: Scary, isn't it?
Unlike, for example, John W. Biles in Lemon Sherbert, I define "making
out" as to be a lot of deep, involved kissing. So Rei and Shinji are
still virgins, and along with my refusal to write lemons, I also see no
need for them to be losing that status anytime during my series.... Even
with the remarkable EVA Brand (tm) Condoms. Call me old-fashioned, but
that's just me. No sex 'til marriage....
ASUKA: *twitch*
SHINJI: WHAT THE HELL KIND OF TALK IS THIS?!?!?!
REI: I... can't really imagine that.
HIKARI: ...
TOUJI/KENSUKE: Damn.
Actually, when I write those kissy-face scenes, I dunno, but I imagine
I write those in a way like lemon writers write lemons. Hmm. Never mind,
I'm confusing myself. I can't imagine what that may be doing to your
heads.... I do wonder when the first Evangelion lemon is going to
appear.
TOUJI: (whistling)
KENSUKE: La di da...
REI/SHINJI/ASUKA/HIKARI: We don't want to know.
Believe me, I took absolutely _no_ pleasure in writing that part about
Unit 02 breaking 00's neck. I was rather reluctant to add that, but I
did have to emphasize the seriousness of the situation. In fact, it's
been pointed out to me that with this installation, Evanjellydonut has
become much less a spoof and more a humorous continuation with a real
plot. Cool. (I'm still publishing this for TSatF, though.)
ASUKA: He treats this...
HIKARI: Like we're not even real.
SHINJI: It's scary. How did he know so much about us? I'm afraid...
Don't worry about the German. It's not that important.
ASUKA: NANI?! The German isn't important?! Who do you think you're
talking too?!
HIKARI: That's it. It's over.
ASUKA: The German isn't important... Hmmph!
SHINJI: Well, you've showed us everything now.
KENSUKE: Correction. Everything we KNOW about.
SHINJI: What do you mean?
KENSUKE: This isn't over. There is still more to this little charade.
SHINJI: How do you know?
KENSUKE: I've seen references to it in the records I found.
ASUKA: So what do we do now?
KENSUKE: (pulls out his laptop) Sit tight for a little bit. I'm going to
start searching through those files for the Chapter 4 codes...
ASUKA: Codes?
KENSUKE: Yeah. This place... it's filled with records from the past...
about us.
ASUKA: ???
KENSUKE: The strange thing is, none of them are real. It seems there was
a group of people who somehow were able to learn about us.
Apparently, they decided to write fiction, involving us.
ASUKA: Why?
KENSUKE: That I don't know. All I know is every one of them is stored
in here somewhere. I just haven't found the codes to get in
to this further.
REI: Intriguing... people would have so much interest in us.
ASUKA: I think it's scary. And it's invasion of privacy!
KENSUKE: At any rate, I'm going to look for the codes for the next
Chapter of this... "film", I guess you could call it. If I
can't find 'em, I'll just try hacking in manually.
(He turns on his laptop, attaches a small wire to a port in the remote
control unit that's been used all of this time, and then begins to type
furiously, blissfully unaware of the outside world.)
ASUKA: So, you can't tell us any more?
HIKARI: I'm sorry. We're in the dark as much as you are.
TOUJI: It's just too weird...
HIKARI: Touji-kun? May I speak with you please?
TOUJI: Sure... Hikari.
(The two begin talking quietly to each other in low tones.)
ASUKA: *sigh* I don't like this. People from the past invade our
privacy, and then start rewriting our future?
REI: It can't be helped. One of mankind's dreams is to control its
destiny.
ASUKA: But why ours?
(Asuka begins to ponder this thought in her mind, and soon slips into a
state of unawareness, deep in contemplation with her own thoughts.)
SHINJI: So... we have to wait?
REI: Yes.
SHINJI: But I don't understand. There had to be a reason for this...
REI: Perhaps. Maybe we'll find out, maybe we won't. Who knows what
the end result will be...
SHINJI: ...
REI: ... The mood has become too dark.
SHINJI: You're right. any more thoughts like this and our lives will
be too depressing...
REI: ...
SHINJI: It's best to forget about it for now, I guess.
REI: Shinji-kun?
SHINJI: Yes Rei?
(Rei immitates the pout from earlier in Chapter 3, but with a little more
of a smile.)
REI: (softly) Would you like to "make time" with me?
SHINJI: (blushing) *gulp*
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was getting serious in the end, and that line fit in
perfectly. <g> For the record, my definition of "making out" is the same
as Andrew's; deep involved kissing. You're not going to get anything
out of me on this either.
Well, that's the end of this MST series for NGEjd for now. I
can't write anymore until a new Chapter of Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut
is written, and I'm not sure when that'll be. Hopefully soon. However,
a friend of mine (Mark Eymer) has suggested to me to do MSTs of a few
other fanfics, which I may do after I start my own project. Andrew Huang
has also asked me to do MSTs of his more serious Evangelion fanfiction
pieces, and they'll be done after I put out the first Chapter of my
project. And with the ending of this installment, I'm left wide open
for adding additional MST from any author's fanfic.
As for my project... well... you'll just have to visit the web
site and find out for yourself. I should hopefully have the beginnings
of it out sometime within the next week (August 10th to 17th). I only
have one comment about it: It is going to be LONG, but it'll be good.
Trust me.
Thanks go out to Tony Butler and Daniel Harrison for reading my
MSTs and (enjoying them), and letting me post them on AnimeNet. Also,
thanks go out to Mark Eymar, for being the first person to comment on my
work, for pointing out the "Hari Kari -> Kara Kiri" bit from Part III,
the ^H bit, and for giving me a few ideas to help me clarify on my
upcoming Evangelion series. Also, thanks go to Andrew Huang for writing
the Evanjellydonut saga, for enjoying the MSTs, and for continuing the
series (we all hope).
Well, hopefully it won't be too long to a Part V in this
Fanfic/MST series, coming whenever the next chapter of Evanjellydonut is
written! I'm always looking for feedback on my work, and I'm happy to
answer any questions that I can. Comments are welcome, but flames will
be put out with the electronic equivalent of water. Ja na!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
James Grabowski (sephirius@japan.crosswinds.net)
WWW: http://www.crosswinds.net/japan/~sephirius
The latest version of the MSTs of NGEjd should be available on the page
soon, and hopefully forever afterwards. Amen.
"Man is descended from one alone.
One way or another, we're all related.
With this knowledge, the wall blocking the "truth" is destroyed,
Leaving an oppurtunity that can be used to a positive advantage.
One that can change man's perception forever,
And consequently, prove the theorum wrong..."