I can't respond to the criticism of this fic, since I haven't read it
yet,
but I can point something else out:

. The prose aren't all that bad, but their

content is so
ho-hum that they can't help but be tedious.

Try:  The prose isn't all that bad, but its content is
so ho-hum that it can't help but be tedious.

bye!
June

What a strange thing
to be alive
beneath cherry blossoms

Issa

karaohki@snet.net
http://www.fortunecity.com/victorian/rothko/228