This fic begins with an interesting premise, but it degenerates into a
another cheap Ranma/Akane feelings drama. It should have centered on
Kodachi's new environment, how she interacts with the school madness,
and the problems revolving around her being accepted into the Fuurikan
social life.

    Yet again, you bash needlessly without truly understanding the art of
Writing.  I have as yet to see anything written from you, or anything that has
been COMPLIMENTED by you... In my view, this denotes that you may or may not be a
flaming Hypocrite.

The prose are awfully bloated. Cut out the filler. For instance:

    Filler is what makes us Identify with the characters every day life, It helps
us understand their small habits and makes them more real to us.  To Mirror our
own lives is to create something that the reader can identify with.... that the
reader can understand.

Most of that was worthless filler. Do we really need to know about how
Kodachi had to rummage around her backpack? Is the schedule important?
Does it matter how quickly she got to class, or that she did or did not
waste any time? Do we need a blow-by-blow description of every action
and thought that passes through her head for just changing classes?

    See my above statements, it is a definite YES.  Details that you find tedious
and unneeded are what makes a story identifiable to the readers own real life
situations.  I still wonder why you joined this list in the first place.
    And I am beginning to question that it might be the fact that you could
needlessly trash peoples hard work to make yourself feel better.
    Once again, I have been a bit harsh in this posting, and I apologize to
everyone else with exception to The Guy Under the Bridge.  I do not feel remorse
or sorrow for saying such things, I feel they needed to be said.  Others may
disagree, and I am prepared to be flamed for it.

This is scene is utterly pointless.

    If a scene were utterly Pointless, the Writer would not have written it.....
this gets into the above statements of Filler being one of the more important
pieces of any good work.  After all, if we all had action and dialogue without any
exploration of simple day to day habits or thoughts, then it would be a dry and
pointless story indeed.

Thanks, Lawson, for another bizarre characterization. How does this
stuff become canon?

    I must say, I am beginning to find every email of yours unworthy of this list,
as you are of no productive purpose whatsoever to my judging.

--
Sincerely....
Shimitsu Kaoru.
Lost "Dragon-Boy"
of Shimitsu-Ryuu.
Prince of Chaos.
"What makes a curse is simply the view, a blessing to some is a curse unto you,
But acceptance can conquer that fear you hold high, through acceptance comes
peace..... are you willing to try?"
   -Quote from Kaoru Shimitsu.
My Homepage at!
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Garden/4534