Subject: Re: [FFML] [Ranma][Draft]Akane 1/2 - Part III
From: David Johnston
Date: 8/11/1998, 6:25 PM
To: skeezy5@geocities.com
CC: "ffml@fanfic.com" <ffml@fanfic.com>

Once again an alternate history sticks slavishly to the original.  

Considering that Akane doesn't need to change back and Ranma isn't in 
love with Tofu, there was no reason for the stop at the clinic.  
Akane should have met Tofu for the first time after his first injury.
Considering that Akane doesn't need to change back either time, Akane 
and Ranma would not have been late for school, and would not have been 
standing out in the hall for that reason.  Also...and this is a bit of
riddle for me...why does Akane say and do everything the way Ranma would
in mainline?    

That being said, I like Kuno's motivation.  There you have something 
different.  Oddly enough, Kuno makes more sense in this reality.  

      "My name is Upperclassman Kuno.  Junior.  Group E.  Captain of the
Kendo Club.  Undefeated new star of the high school fencing world.  But
my peers call me... the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High!"  A crash of
thunder marks his statement, and Akane-kun looks up in wonder at the
clear sky.

Confusing your tenses there.