Reply to akun15@hotmail.com

========================
====The C-chan Show!====
========================
        by C-chan

        [Opening: Thousands of colors starting flashing on the screen in 
the way to make you think you're having an acid flashback (even if you 
never have had one).  Then, we open to a standard auditorium, similiar 
to the one on Jerry Springer, Ricki Lake, Oprah Winfrey, or one of those 
other cheesy shows-*WHANG*.  Oww...]

C-chan: Serves you right, jerk!

A-kun: [clutching his head] You wanted me to do the opening, okay?

        [Ahem, anyway, the words "The C-chan Show" appear and start 
spinning, moving back and forth, rotating, etc.  After you hurl a few 
times, they stop in the middle of the screen, then fade away.  A young 
woman walks onto the stage in front of a huge red curtain.  She appears 
to be about fourteen, but she's really nineteen.  She wears her hair 
like Kasumi Tendo, but has bright green eyes and has on a blouse that's 
missing the top two buttons, showing a bit of her cleavage as a bit of 
fanservice.  She's also wearing tight blue jeans.  Everyone is 
clapping.]

C-chan: [muttering to herself under the sound of the clapping] I'll get 
A-kun for this. [outloud] Thank you, thank you! [audience quiets down]  
On today's show, we have exclusive interviews with John Walter Biles 
(Bailesu), Stephen Gagne (Twoflower), Caroline Ann Seawright (Kun-chan 
and Kun-kun), Zen (Zen-chan), Richard Lawson (Lawson-sama and Tight Buns 
to A-chan) AND TharzZzDunN (If We Have Time)!

        [The curtain raises and five squirming cloth bags set on five 
seats.]

C-chan: [addressing the first bag on the right] Now, John, may I call 
you John?

Bag #1: [muffled] Nmmf ymmmf mmmm mmmmt!

C-chan: Thank you.  Now, John, you're hailed as one of the greatest 
comedy writers on the FFML and the entire web.  How does that makes you 
feel?

Bag #1: [muffled] Mmmm!  Mmmm!  Mmmmmmmmmm-ffmmmmmmmmfmfmmmm!!

C-chan: Ah, that's sweet.  [addressing the second bag]  Now, Twoflower, 
can I call you Twoflower?

Bag #2: [muffled] Mmmm....

C-chan: You've written quite a few fanfics.  Do you have any new ones 
that are going to come out that you'd like to talk about?

Bag #2: [muffled] Mmmmmm, mmmm mmmmm, mmmmm mmmmm-mmm-mmmmmmf mmf mmmmmf 
mmm mmmmmmm mmmm-mmmmmm mmmmmmmm mff mmmmmff mmmm mmm fmmm mmm 
mmmfmmmmm.

C-chan: Wow!  That's incredible!  [to the third bag]  Now, Kun-chan, 
you're a great lemon writer.  Have any words for aspiring lemon writers?

Bag #3: [muffled] MMMMMM MMMM MMMMMM!!!

C-chan: Good, good.  [to Bag #4]  Zen, can you tell everyone the REAL 
reason you can't get your fanfics out quicker?

Bag #4: [muffled] MMmmmmmmmmmmm.  Mmmm ammm mmn mmmffffmmmm ffmmmfffle.

C-chan: Wow!  We are just cruising along! [to Bag #5]  Lawson, what 
about your latest project?  How's it coming along?

Bag #5: [muffled] Wmmmm ammmm mmmmssfff ammummm ffimmm-fums?

C-chan: "What's all this about Tight Buns?"  Ummmmmm, hey, where's 
TharzZzDunN?

A-kun: He couldn't make it.

C-chan: But these fine authors made it, why not him?

TharzZzDunN: [walking onto the stage] I needed to get my sandwich out of 
the paper shredder.  [leaves]

C-chan: How could your sandwich....nevermind.  I'll probably get another 
migraine.  [to the audience] Any questions?

        [All the hands raised.  C-chan found a victim...er, volunteer.]

C-chan: What's your question, little boy?

Kenny: [muffled] Mmmm, mmmmm-mm-mmmmmm mmm mm mm mmmmmm mmmm mmmmm mmm 
mm mmmmmm.

C-chan: Hmmm, thought provoking.  Kun-chan, care to reply?

Bag #3: [muffled] MMMMMM!!!!

C-chan: Any other questions? [finds another victim]

Sleazy Tabloid Reporter: Any truth to the rumor that Kun-chan has done 
it with Trish Ledoux?

C-chan: That's filthy and disgusting!  Besides, she was saved in the 
Revenge Wars from that fate by Ranma, Ryouga and Akane.  OUT!  [grabs 
the Tabloid Reporter and hurls him into a Cow Slaughtering Factory]

C-chan: [shaking her head and ignoring the screams of pain] I'm sorry 
about that, Kun-chan.  You know Tabloid Reporters, willing to make 
anything up.  Any non-filthy questions?

C-kun (our version of Kenny): YEAH!  Why the-*BLAM* [C-kun's head 
explodes as the missile from C-chan's rocket launcher hits him square 
between the eyes]

        [The audience now knows not to blurt out questions.]

C-chan: Do you have a question?

Ash: Um, yeah.  Where's ??????  I thought she was going to be here.

C-chan: ????? is going to be on a later show.

Ash: Darn.

C-chan: Any other questions? [notices someone waving their hand in the 
back.  She hurries back and hold the microphone to that someone]

Ranma: For Bailesu, um, why the heck do I wind up with Akane in both 
Lemonade and Lemon Sherbert?

Bailesu: [still muffled] Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm-mmmmm m mmmm mm mmmmm mm 
mmmmmm mmmm mmm mmm m.

C-chan: Any final statements? [notices the bags are suspiciously quiet 
and races up to the stage.  She opens the bags and curses.]  Okay, who 
let them loose?  [looks around] Anyway, that's our show for today.  
Tomorrow, my guests are, whether or not they want to be here, RpM, 
Flashman, Ryoucilo, Redneck, Gryphon, Megazone and ?????.  And in the 
show following, my guests will be Whitewolf, Tybalt, Mike W. Loader, 
Elsa Bibat, Jang Choe and Huh?.  Thank you and good night!  [the 
audience claps as she leaves]

        [Meanwhile, behind the studio, six figures are slowly creeping 
down the side of a hill to a dock of the Mighty Nameless River where a 
rowboat awaits them.]

A-kun: Now listen up, take this rowboat until you reach the first lake, 
then take a bus to Untitled.  From there you'll find your way home.

Figure #1: Thanks a lot, A-kun.

A-kun: Just hurry.  If C-chan finds out I'm the one who released you 
guys, I'll be put on the rack again.  [hurries off into the night as the 
five authors get into the rowboat and row away to freedom]

        [Unseen by all the authors, yet another figure slowly swims up 
behind the rowboat.  Suddenly, Richard Lawson and Zen are pulled into 
the water.]

A-chan: BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!  YOU'RE MINE NOW!!

Zen: HELP ZEN!!!  HELP ZEN!!!

Richard: HEY!  WATCH YOUR HANDS!!

A-chan: [grinning lecherously] I am!

Richard and Zen: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

        [Epilogue: The Real World]

Zen: [on the phone] A-chan wouldn't REALLY do that to Richard and Zen, 
would she?

A-kun: [on the other side of the phone] She would if she could reach 
you.  Bye Zen!

Zen: Bye!

Comments, Questions, Want to be on the show?
Send e-mails addressed to C-chan at akun15@hotmail.com

C-chan: 'Cause I can't get my own @^&$ e-mail address yet.

        Disclaimer: All authors are property of their parents and if 
A-chan gets her hands on them, they'll belong to her.  I, as always, 
remain completely blameless for their behavior.  No intelligent animals 
were harmed in the filming of this show [C-kun and Tabloid Reporters 
don't count as intelligent animals].  Ranma is property of Rumiko 
Takahashi-sama and I pray that she won't sue the #@%# out of me.


______________________________________________________
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com