Neon Genesis Evangelion: Introspection
A New Point of View
By Huh?
Warning: There are spoilers in this if you haven't watched up to
Episode 24 in the series.
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Rage.
That's was I felt for a long time.
Rage.
I hated.
I hated with a vengence.
I, who have become something beyond what ordinary humans could
hope to become, hated above what most people will ever be able to.
You see, I joined found by a group of scientists that were
exploring the remains of Antarctica about two years after Second Impact.
However, two years after I had joined, I was transferred. I was put on
the Evangelion Project. Apparently, they trusted me after a few minorly
important discoveries. That or the others on the project weren't as
stupid.
Then.....the accident. I'd rather not go into details.
Hoping that my brilliance could be preserved, or that I could be
tortured, take your pick, I was turned into a personality engram and my
mind and memories were transfered into this...thing.
Evangelion.
At least I haven't been destroyed in battle......yet.
I use to just stare across the bay at my fellow 'Evas'. We used
to speak to each other occasionally as I found out how lonely being in
one of these things is.
Yui Ikari - Evangelion Unit 1. She was 'absorbed' by a test
Eva, but her mind and soul found their way to Unit 1. The same unit
that her son, Shinji Ikari, pilots. Though we can't cry, she always
seems to want to whenever Shinji is near. I don't really know what it's
like, but I can sympathize with her.
Shinji Ikari - Pilot of Evangelion Unit 1. I don't know if he
knows it himself, but he's full of power. I've never felt someone so
close to their own souls. I've witnessed his power a few times and felt
it once, and it is terrifying. I never thought a single person could BE
so powerful.
Naoko Akagi - Evangelion Unit 0. She found herself in an
Evangelion later, after Yui had been absorbed. She apologizes
constantly to Yui, even though Yui wanted her husband to get on with his
life. Apparently, she had been involved with Gendo Ikari, Director of
NERV, after Yui's death. However, she resents the fact that she's
considered "Only a machine" by Gendo Ikari, even though Gendo knows what
happened to us.
She has a daughter and as far as I know, her daughter doesn't
even know that Naoko is IN Unit 0. In fact, I think only Rei Ayanami
and Shinji Ikari know we exist.
Rei Ayanami - Pilot of Unit 0. I don't know about her, but I
get strange feelings when I see her. She seems to be able to talk with
us and hear us talk. For a while, Naoko hated her and resisted her
violently. Then, she seemed to accept the fact that Rei was her pilot.
Then, there's me - Evangelion Unit 2. I like my color. I used
to think that it showed my hatred for everything. Now, it just looks
nice.
Asuka Soryhu Langely - Pilot of me. At first, I just thought of
her as a little girl and I was indifferent to her. Then, she opened
herself to me one night. I can't express the horror. Such a
frightening childhood. I'm not surprised she covers it with her pride.
It's one of the few things left for her.
After I saw her memories, I hated again. I hated the Angels and
I wanted to protect her from the horrors from without as well as the
horrors from within. But I'm not strong enough. I've never amounted to
anything. I got pounded by the 7th Angel, nearly died against the 6th
and 8th Angels, got burned by the 9th Angel, almost blew up with the
10th Angel, was useless against the 11th, 12th and 13th Angels. Then,
one of my greatest failures to protect her. Angel 14, Zeruel. You have
no idea how sickening it feel when your arms are removed within two
seconds, painfully, then to lose your head as well, literally and
figuratively.
No sooner had I been reconstructed than we were both invaded by
Angel 15. If you have ever felt powerless against someone, amplify that
feeling by two billions times. I'd failed again.
Angel 16 was no better an experience. Poor Asuka had her will
sucked out of her by Angel 15. She no longer trusted even me enough to
open her soul to me so I could move. I never felt sadder than I did at
that moment.
Then, I heard that Rei and Naoko had been killed by the same
Angel that I could not fight. I've never felt so useless so often.
Sure, in life, you feel useless at least once, but to feel that feeling
constantly. Poor Asuka, she and I were always out of our league.
Then, that bastard Kaworu showed up. Yui and I knew what he was
right off the bat, but no one could hear us without being in our plugs.
That's when I found out why Asuka and I weren't fighting as
strongly as Shinji and Yui were. I was a personality ingram, a very
strong one, yeah, but I had no soul to protect me from Kaworu's power.
That bastard.
I watched thing helpless to be anything but do what the 17th
Angel wanted me to do, even kill Yui and Shinji. Gods, how much I
wanted to smash that bastard myself. But what could I do against
something that had direct access to it's soul power? I have no soul.
Gods, I resented that.
Now, I await patiently for the end. Sure, someone will restore
me so that I can be cannon fodder once more, but until then, I lay here,
in the pool of LCL around the creature that is Lillith.
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I don't know why this came to me. I sat down to write another
chapter in my fanfic 'Genesis Evangelion' when this came to me.
I guess the idea started hitting me when I rewatched the tape
with the 11th Angel. Ritsuko mentioned that there was a personality
ingram for the three Magi and Misato commented that the same system was
used for operating the Evas.
All rights reserved by whoever made it. I only play with the
world that Hideaki-sama made.
Good night, everyone.
Huh?
Please send all comments to: akun16@hotmail.com
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