"Mighty Mighty MST roll call!"
"Petes-kun!"
[Petes]And thus vengance is mine!
"Erica!"
[Erica]Will you cut it out with the puppet already!!!
"And Peter-san!"
[Peter]Last time I take him to a flea market...
[Peter]Once again we have a EVA Lemon for you!
[Erica]Again!? Am I going to have to leave?
[Peter]Just ignore the parts that offend you.
[Erica]It's a little hard to ignore Petes! *glares at Petes*
[Peter]Fine, you can sit next to me.
*Erica gets up and sit's next to Peter*
[Erica]Arigatu!
[Peter]And so we gring you... The Morning After Can Really Be Interesting!
*Click*
First please ignore all spelling and grammatical errors, I'm no English
teacher.
[Petes]Does that mean he's a French teacher?
Second please bring your seats up, lock your trays into place and
observe all rules and warnings concerning lemons. Third, the following lemon
uses the characters of NGE and really doesn't fit anywhere into the
continuity of the show so don't try to force it in (no pun intended).
[Petes]*snicker* Force _it_ i-
[Erica]He said no pun intended!
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, and since Gainax is an
animation god all I can hope to do is imitate. Regardless I had no choice...
the little henti fairies made me do it.
[Petes]You mean the Bondage fairies!
[Peter]I doubt that Pamila and Pfil would tell him to write this.
[Petes]That just shows how much you know!
Zankohu na tenshi no youni... (aw screw it, you know the rest)
[Erica]Bit surley aren't we!
[Petes]Give him a break! The Bondage fairies made him do it!
Neon Genesis Evangelion
Episode "The Morning After Can Really be Interesting"
(I know I'm bad with titles)
"Squark..."
"Squark!"
[Peter]*looking at program* Strange, this isn't supposed to be a DS9
crossover...
Misato cracked the grit that had formed on her right eye as she
slowly opened it. Everything was a blur. Four blurry walls complete with
blurry pictures and a large black blur that just again squarked at her.
Slowly things started to come into focus. She blinked her eye. There was a
penguin in her room. It squarked at her. This was not really that strange,
what Misato was really trying to figure out was how it was able to stand on
the wall like it was. Also, how did the ceiling lamp had moved to the wall
across from the bird and seemed to defy gravity as it hung perpendicular to
it. Damn it, someone had been screwing with her room.
[Petes]Wow! The first paragraph and already there's some screwing goin' on!
Misato closed her eye
trying to go back to sleep. "Squark! Squark! Squark!" The penguin was hungry
and he was not going to let her get any sleep till his problem was solved.
Slowly she rocked herself up into a sitting position and a quick wave of
nausea followed. But amazingly as she did, the room righted itself. The
walls became the ceiling and floor and the ceiling and floor became the
walls.
Man, she drank too much last night. (Okay, everyone who has ever felt
like this raise their hand.)
*Petes and Peter raise their hands, Erica then takes the now open spot on
Peter's arm rest*
She ran her hand though her ruffled purple hair. Her head was filled
with cobwebs from the night before.
[Peter](Drop Dead Fred) Cobwebs!
The room swirled a bit as she stood, yet
somehow she was able to put one foot in front of the other as she plodded
toward the kitchen. Pen-Pen (the penguin in case you didn't know)
[Petes]Gee, and all along I thought it was her pet name fer her vi-
[Erica]Petes!!!
kept one
step ahead of her leading the way toward his empty food dish. Upon reaching
the kitchen, Misato pushed the button for the freezer and it slid out of the
wall at her command.
[Peter](ominously) Open sesame!
It was fairly empty except for a few frosty silver packs which adorned it.
Misato grabbed one and started to unwrap it. Pen-Pen
danced excitedly from one foot to the other as if she were unwrapping a
Christmas present for him. As she struggled to get the last little bits of
foil off the fish she looked over at the clock over the stove. 8:56 am...
what kind of creature of the Earth gets up this early on the weekend.
[Petes&Peter]Sure as heck ain't us!
Frustrated she gave up the unwrapping endeavor and dropped the fish into
Pen-Pen's bowl still specked with bits of foil frozen. She then started to
saunter back toward her room. Pen-Pen ran for the fish, which had missed the
bowl and slid across the floor. With out thinking he grabbed the fish. Cold
shot though his beak. It was still frozen solid and hard as a rock. He tried
to spit it out but it was stuck to his tongue. He tried desperately to say
something to get Misato's attention, but only was able to emit was muffled
groan.
[Petes]O_O
[Peter]O_o
[Erica]o_O
[Peter]-_- We take too many things out of context...
Damn, she drank to much last night. (All right, all those with their
hands in the air can put them down... you look kind of foolish; I can't see
you anyway.)
*Peter and Petes realise that their hands are still up and put them back down*
[Peter]Hey! you stole my arm rest!
[Erica]Not my problem.
Misato flopped back down into bed. It was soft and inviting. As she
stared at the wall letting sleep over take her she realized someone had been
screwing with her room again.
[Petes]Dammit! Why is it that the room's the only thing getting some around
here!
In fact they had made it look almost identical
to Asuka's room. Suddenly the bed kicked her.
[Peter]way too much to drink...
Funny she didn't remember
getting one of those massaging bed Kaji had talked about. Strange - her bed
was complaining at her too. A steady stream of curses and obscenities in
both German and Japanese could be heard coming from it. She was kicked again
before she realized the painfully obvious. Asuka was in her bed!
[Peter]*checking program* Doesn't say anything about gay sex...
"Get off of me! How rude do you have to be coming into my room while
I'm trying to sleep? I expect that from stupid Shinji or one of his henti
(translation pervert)
[Petes]Thank you Dr Goofy!
little buddies. Misato get the hell off me! You weigh
a ton. And get the hell out of my bed!" and it kept going.
[Peter]Que bad joke!
[Erica]And going and going and...
[Petes]*groan*
Since sleep was
top priority, Misato decided to get up and go to Asuka's room to sleep since
she was obviously being kicked out of her own bed.
Damn, she drank way too much last night.
[Erica]I think we have the idea now!
[Peter]Nah! He has to mention it a few more times for good measure.
Once again she plodded across the apartment. Pen-Pen danced in the
kitchen flapping his little useless wings madly trying to get her attention.
The fish, still frozen to it, hung from his tongue.
Once again Misato flopped down into bed. Shit - Asuka was going to be
really pissed. Someone made her room look like Shinji's.
[Petes]Place yer bets!
[Erica]5$ says she does Shinji!
[Peter]10$ agrees!
[Petes]I have a bad felling I'm gonna lose 15 bucks...
Oh well, no mater.
She could talk to the kids and find out who the guilty one was tomorrow.
Right now there was nothing wrong with this bed, it was soft, warm, and it
wasn't kicking or cussing at her.
Shinji was so tired he barely realized someone had crawled into bed
with him. He had spent most of the day before with Kaji in his watermelon
patch.
[Petes]O_O
[Peter]Please say he was picking watermelons!
Though Kaji had left in the early evening to go out with Misato (and
probably get drunk), Shinji had stayed late making the garden look just
right. It was fun helping out. Weeding, turning the soil, and watering;
[Peter]*whew*
hard work but Kaji had promised Shinji first pick of the harvest. Beside
Kaji wasn't a half-bad guy to talk to. Currently though, Shinji was still
sore and tired from the day before.
Misato slept. As she breathed a light yet familiar smell crossed her
nose. Watermelons. She smiled and snuggled up next to the man beside her.
Her chest nuzzled against his back. "Kaji-chan," she whispered. Her nipples
were starting to get hard.
[Erica]At this point I'd like to metion one of the unwritten laws of lemons:
-all women's nipples must be rock hard
Shinji was wide-awake now. Someone was holding him. A female!
"Kaji-chan," she said. It was Misato. Her hands rubbed over his chest as
she took off his shirt.
"Mi... Misato please!" he stuttered.
"What's wrong?" she whispered into his ear, which was chased by her
tongue. Shinji squirmed a little as the warm slippery muscle cleaned out
his ear canal.
"Misato, what you're doing!" Shinji blurted out.
[Petes]He doesn't know!?
[Erica]He's numb in his ears, a sad story realy.
Shinji managed to
turn his head removing the tongue. He now could see her. Immediately she
planted her lips on his and forced his mouth open with her tongue. He tried
to push it out with his tongue but it only seemed to turn the French kiss
more sensual. One of her hands guided itself down and under the elastic
of his Fruit of the Looms.
[Peter]If you're just joining us, we have just found out the Shinji wears
Fruit of the Looms.
There it started to caress his virgin penis
[Petes]Virgin penis??? Is that like the virgin Mary?
ever so lightly bringing an all ready rock hard erection (from morning wood
and that tickling the ear drum thing) to a painful one.
[Peter]So he had a visit from the morning wood fairy!
[Petes]Yep! she heard that the bondage fairies were around and decided to
drop by.
He could feel the
blood pulsing though it with each of his heart's beats. If his penis could
talk it would now be screaming for mercy.
[Peter]If his penis could talk, I'd be leaving right now!
[Erica]Ditto.
"Mis...(gasp)...a...(gasp)...toe...(gasp again)....stop," he
squeaked. Somehow it didn't sound much like a command, but more like a weak
request. And though his mouth didn't seem to work, somehow one of his hands
managed to pull the love fingers out of his underwear.
"Oh, you want to do this the hard way," Misato cooed.
[Petes]I think its as hard as it gets right now!
Before Shinji had a chance to ask what the hard way was there was a
rip, followed by intense pain in his crotch, and the elastic (with underwear
in tow) being slingshot across the room.
[Erica](Misato) Two pointer!
"Misato!" was all he found to say
in response to the pain. He opened his watering eyes and before he could get
out another word he found one of her nipples trust into his mouth.
"Suck me," she whispered. Shinji's mind blurred. He needed help NOW;
he couldn't make these kinds of decisions on his own. Frantically he
searched his mind to see what the other people in his world would do in
this situation.
"Shinji idiot! How dare you take advantage to Misato like that. She's
drunk and thinks your someone else - yet you still have to think about doing
it. Pathetic little boy!" an Asuka sounding voice said in his mind.
"Good job Shinji," Kensuke mind voice said.
"You should not do that. Its very rude," the light sweet voice of Rei
says.
[Peter]Is it just me, or does Rei sound like Kasumi?
[Petes]And Belldandy.
"Man, you lucky freak!" the happy voice of Toji chirped. "I'd trade
class president Hikari for Misato any day!"
Shinji was stuck. Two for two, he needed a tiebreaker. And it came
suddenly from the least likely of places. "Just pretend its Rei and enjoy
it," his father said.
[Peter]Gendou would say that!?
[Petes]Why is it that all lemons claim Gendou and Rei have some weird pedo'
relationship?
[Erica]Two words, wishful thinking.
Tie broken! Shinji started to suck on the little bead on top of
Misato's breast.
[Petes]But what about her nipples???
There was an immediate response. She grabbed his salami of
love and started moving her hand up and down.
[All]"Salami of love"???
Each motion seems to bring a
slight relief to the swollen organ. He sucked harder as he neared orgasm...
then he blew his load. (No stamina? What do you expect from a first timer)
[Petes]Moans, groans and limp bones! ^_^
[Erica]How... Poetic.
Streams of white erupted form the tip of his head spattering on his bare
chest.
[Peter]Oh the humanity! Shinji's head blew up!
[Petes]Not THAT head!
Misato didn't stop. She just kept going with the rhythmic pulling of
his cock till its first round was empty.
[Petes]Lock and load!
Waves of pleasure crossed over
Shinji as he gasped for air. Slowly his penis started to shrink. Shinji
relaxed still breathing heavy. Misato giggled, "Oh, did I make a mess..."
[Peter]Pretty observant for a drunk.
Then she started kissing his neck before working her way lower. She ran her
tongue over his nipples and belly as she cleaned his cum off him like a
mother cat would clean her kitten.
[Erica]I don't think we need that thought right now.
It tickled a little but Shinji didn't
mind, and blood had started to flow to his soldier bring it back to
attention. Misato was now at his just-now-budding pubic hair. Shinji was
wondering what she was about to do... then she swallowed his penis!
[Petes]Holy!
[Peter]Yep! Misato "deep throught" Kasuragi, that was her college nickname!
A new
resurgence of sensation rocketed though his body. Shinji found himself
moaning quiet loud.
[Erica]Quiet loud??? The hell is that!?
[Peter]*shrug*
"Will you shut up out there!" Auska screamed from the other room.
"Some of us are trying to sleep!"
[Petes](Shinji) And others are trying to fuck!!!
Worried Shinji opened his eyes and propped himself up on one elbow.
First looking behind him to see if Auska was in eyesight. Satisfied she was
not, he then down at Misato hoping she was still asleep and did not notice
Asuka's rants. As he did though his eyes almost fell out of his head.
He did not realize how much more erotic it was to watch the bobbing of her
head or the way her sweet lips wrapped around his cock. Another shock wave
of pleasure rocked though him and Shinji collapsed back. Misato took this
que and straddled him forcing his shaft deep inside of her.
[Peter]John Shaft!
[Erica]Shaft!
[Petes]He's one bad mutha!
[Erica]Watch your mouth!
[Peter]But he's talkin' about Shaft!
[Petes]We can dig it.
Misato rocked his world. It was a flurry of passion and lust; Misato
slammed their areas together (powering up the Yamato, being punished in the
name of the moon, putting Mokona in his little hole, you know what I'm
taking about),
[Petes]Landing the Mars probe, feeling the force, laying the road to glory
with thy boner...
[Erica]We get it!
[Peter]I'll never look at Sailor Moon again.
and Shinji moaned while kneading her breasts together like
dough. Faster! Harder! Up and down the roller coaster of pleasure they went.
[Petes](singing)Your love is like... A rollar coaster baby baby!
"Uhhhhh! Misato..." Shinji grunted.
"Aaaaa! Uuaaaaa," Misato responded.
"Auuuh. Oh!"
"Oh yes! Yes!"
"Will you shut up!!!" Asuka bellowed.
"HEeeeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAaaaa!!!" shouted Misato in orgasmic ecstasy.
[Peter]I think my ears popped...
(Note - the sound I was trying to recreate was the Misato I-just-finished-
another-beer-yell. Now back to the story.) Blowing another wad Shinji
relaxed and opened his eyes, finding Misato staring down at him.
[Peter&Petes]Busted!
Shinji lay there in Misato's arms learning some of life's new lessons.
He didn't want to disturb her yet he had to go to the bathroom. Another
thing he was rapidly learning about was the "great wet spot" he was being
forced to sleep on (note- if you are asking yourself what the wet spot is
your too young to be reading this story). And lastly (for some strange
reason) he wanted a cigarette.
"Are you happy Shinji?" she cooed into his ear.
[Peter]How can he!? She slammed his brains out!
[Petes]Maybe she screwed up somewhere, I don't know.
"Yes Misato-chan," Shinji squeaked out nervously. He tried to turn to
look at her but she held him fast.
"Did I just do what I think I just did?"
"Y... yes."
Fucking shit! I drank way to fucking much last night! She had always
wondered what Shinji would be like, but her problem was that she was too
drunk to remember if it was any good!
(Okay I'm hot right now. Be back after a cold shower.)
EPILOG:
Misato was snoring loudly. Shinji was squirming trying to keep his
bladder from bursting. He tried to get up but a growl behind him told him
otherwise. "I'm comfortable. You move and you're never going to have sex
with anyone ever again," Misato hissed.
[Petes]That sounds more like a Asuka line.
[Peter]Who cares! This is the best EVA lemon so far.
It was uncomfortable thinking how
she had deflowered Shinji, but she was glad it was her and not anyone else.
And those problems were for later... sleep now.
Behind both of them stood a silent third, who had watched the whole
thing. A single drop of sweat graced the back of his head and a well
steamed fish laid cooked at his feet.
? End (no I am DEFINETLY NOT going to sing you "Fly Me to the Moon")
[Petes]Fine! We'll sing YOU the Dragon Half ending theme!
[Erica]Not now, kay?
[Petes]Fine.
Note - if you feel justly inspired to write me what you think; comments
will be laughed at. MMangaa @AOL.com
Written by The Mad Penguin (yes, this is a pen(-pen) name)
[Peter]Yes, this is a poor joke.
*fade*
---Petes-kun,
<SCG> Founder & Leader of the SCG <SCG>, <NNFM> Current Emperor of Jurai <NNFM>,
<USURP> Hinako-chan's "Big Brother" <USURP>
Hoarder of Ranma hentai at http://members.tripod.com/~MMPH/index.html
Visit the SCG home page http://www.angelfire.com/mo/scgcompound/index.html
"Shinji-kun, I'm bored. Want to fuck?" -Asuka