Escape from the wacky world of Ranma 1/2

By Joseph Palmer

   "Hiroshi, I was thinking...."
   "That's new."
   "No, Really I was."
   "About Ranma's naked body no doubt."
   "Shut up, Daisuke. No, I was thinking about what someone said on the 
FFML last week."
   "What? You still read that?"
   "Yeah. Anyway someone mentioned something about escaping the wacky world
of Nerima, and now it's stuck in my mind."
   "Do you really want to leave?"
   "Well, maybe for a while. I'd like to see some action, you know."
   "You just want to see some bouncing chests not attached to a guy."
   "Shutup. I just wish to experience something a little gritty, you know."
Daisuke finished washing his hands and dried them on his handkerchief. He
pulled out a comb and began to straiten his hair in the mirror above the
sink. "I just wish..."

   His image in the mirror disolved, and for a moment there was nothing
there, like he didn't exist. A moment later a young woman's face appeared,
then pushed through the mirror. "You rang?" she asked.

   Hiroshi pushed past his freind. "It's Belldandy, isn't it?"
   "No, Belldandy's busy, she left me watching the shop. My name is Ryoko."
   "We don't het a Goddess then?"
   Ryouko's hand pushed through the mirror and moved to cup Daisuke's cheek.
At the last moment she tweeked his nose instead.
   "Ouch. Hey that hurt."
   "Likewise, little boy. Anyway, I understand you have a wish to travel."
   "Can you do that?"
   "Me? No, But I think I can get Washu to whip something up. Be right back."
Ryouko slid back through the mirror.

   Daisuke and Hiroshi looked at each other. "Should we leave?" Hiroshi asked.
   "I really don't like the way this is going."
   "What are you afraid of?"
   "In case you hadn't noticed, It looks like it's just you, and me, and
Ryoko."
   "So?"
   "Look at the Subject line. It says [Dark].

   Ryouko appeared in a flash, and held out a parchment contract. "Sign here."
   Hiroshi jumped back. "You want our souls?"
   "No, idiot. You're signing for the remote. It's a $50.00 charge if you
loose
it, so you better hold on to it tight. Washu wants it back."   
   Daisuke looked over the document. It was a video rental agreement with the
word video scratched out and remote written in. "What's with the parchment?"
   Ryoko began to steam. "It was in the printer, Okay? Jeez. It's all the
Goddess agency stocks."
   "Okay then." Daisuke pulled a pen from his pocket and signed the
parchment. 
   "EEEP! WHAT DID YOU DO?" Hiroshi squeeled.
   "Relax, it's just a normal rental agreement."
   Ryouko reached into her cleavage and pulled out a slim black box. "Let's
see,
you wanted to escape the wacky world of Ranma 1/2 and experience a little
grit,
right?."
   "Yeah."
   "Okay. It'll just be a moment. I have to program it." Ryoko poked at the
keys
for a while then held it up to Daisuke. "Both of you, hold on." Hiroshi
reached
in and gingerly touched the remote. "You just put in a channel number, then
hit
enter."
   "Just like a TV?"
   "More than you know."  Ryoko reached over and covering the keypad with
her hand
she pushed a button.

   The Boy's room of Furinkan dissolved into a tropical beach. Only this
beach was
strewn with broken wood, and here and there a groups of birds were pecking
in the
debris. 
   "Where are we? Where's Ryoko?" Hiroshi looked about in panic.
   "I don't think we're in Nerima anymore." Daisuke examined the remote.
"There's a display here, it says New Guinea."
   "New Guinea? What are we doing here?"
   "You wanted an escape from your wacky world, didn't you?" A tiny
projection of
Ryoko hovered over the remote.
   "Why aren't you here with us?"
   "Silly boy. I like where I am. The only grit I go for is on the beach."
   "But this is the beach."
   "I know," Ryoko said sadly. Then she disapeared.
   Daisuke walked along a bit. "Maybe we'll see some giant robots or sexy
hardsuits. This sort of looks like a battle zone."
   Hiroshi walked with him. "There's someone ahead, should we go talk to
them?"
   "Yeah, I suppose. Maybe they know where the action is."
   They came to the old man who was stringing flowers into a wreath. He
held it up.
"My son. His wife. My grandaughter, and my two grandsons." With each name
he held one of the flowers. He stood and walked strait at Hiroshi, who
stumbled
to get out of the way. The old man walked right through him and on to the
waterline. Daisuke and Hiroshi followed looking at each other, wondering if
what
they just saw really happened. The old man held the wreath to the sea, then
put it
on and walked out into the surf.
   "Ryoko! Help! We have to do something." Daisuke screamed at the remote.
Hiroshi grabbed at it and the world went dark.

   Daisuke sucked a breath, but it filled his throat with dust. "Where are
we?" he
croaked.
  Hiroshi began to cough and gag. "What is that smell?"
  "Well, well. You must have changed channels. Grity enough for you?" The
image of Ryoko glowed over the remote.
  "Where are we?"
  "I don't know." Ryoko said, leaning over the display. "Push the little
button
on the side." Daisuke did, and the display lit up. Ryoko read it. "Nairobi
Kenya." 
  "Kenya, isn't that in Africa?" Hiroshi asked.
  "Yeah, didn't you pay attention in class?"
  "What's in Nairobi?" 
  "This building, or what's left of it." Ryoko hugged herself. "You're on
CNN."
  "What?"
  "CNN. That American cable news channel. That's the channel you picked."
  "For real?"
  Ryoko sat slowly and burried her face in her knees. "That's the point."
  "What are we doing here?"
  "Well, I suppose you're waiting with the others to be rescued."
  "Others?"
  "Some. Not so many now."
  "Daiske, I want to go home. Push some buttons. Get us home," Hiroshi
whispered. "Ryoko, please, what channel to get home?"
  Ryoko shook her head slowly. "I programmed all of the channels for news.
That's
what they get. You wanted grit. Well, here it is."
  "Then there's no way to get home?"
  "Not by picking a channel."
  "Then how do we escape?"
  "There's only one way. The same way they do," Ryouko said. Then she
flickered
and disappeared.
  "Hiroshi, what did she mean?" The panic was evident in Daisuke's voice.  
  "Let me see the remote."
  Daisuke held out the remote, but did not let go.
  "Push that light button again."
  "Okay." 
  Hiroshi let out a sigh of relief, followed by a choking cough. "It's okay.
I know what she meant. Hold on."

   Both of them held the remote.

   Hiroshi pushed the play button.

	August, 1998
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_______________________
Joseph Palmer, Founder
Video Storage Systems
jpalmer@videos2.com
www.VideoS2.com