DISCLAIMER: Ranma, Urusei Yatsura belongs to Takashi Rumiko
            3x3eyes and Nuku Nuku belongs to Takada Yuuzou  
            Gundam belongs to Bandai
            Evangelion belongs to Gainax
            Fushigi Yuugi belongs to Yuu Watase
            Whatever, none of these characters belong to me.

Hello Minna san, this is the first fic that I've ever written. 
C&C's, Mstings are welcomed, please forward them to lena_lim@pacific.net.sg 
PLEASE, on the account that this is my first attempt, please flame gently.
Sorry for the stupid title, I can't think of anything else, I don't even
know which genre this fic belongs to.^^;;
                    
                     " What's happening in Furinkan?"
                      A fanfic by Lorna Lim 
                     

Nerima. Concentrated with an unusual high level of martial arts activities
and a overwhelming number of infrastructure damage, it was one district in
Japan which spelled h-e-a-d-a-c-h-e, big time, for the Japanese government. 
This day, Furinkan High of Nerima was much more busier than usual. Aside for
the glompings and demolishing of walls by Shampoo, storms of black rose
petals generated by Kodachi, the usual malleting , spatulating and normal
stuff like that, all morning construction workers had been walking in and
out of the school.

" CHOTTO MATTE KUDASAI!!" someone yelped behind Ranma. The pig tailed young
man looked about nervously as if expecting something to pop up any moment.
Ranma had discovered that Akane had made bento for him that morning, and he
did not plan on eating that.....that goo.
"Yo, Ranma. I heard that they are building a stage for a competition of some
sort in the field. Has this had anything to do with you, eh?" The "someone"
turned out to be one of Ranma's classmate, Daisuke, who was nudging the
young martial artist." Everything that had happened around here had to be in
someway related to you."
"What do you mean by that." Ranma narrowed his eyes dangerously.
" errrrr.........nothing actually." Daisuke started to sweat profusely."
Errmmmm, I've got to go. Jaa mata ne." With a quick wave of his hand,
Daisuke disappeared around the corner. Very quickly.


Later in the day..........


"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" *getting louder* A dot in
the blue sky was getting bigger, taking the shape of Ranma Saotome, heir to
the School of Anything-Goes-Martial-Arts and an experienced master of
flight. Ranma frequently flew or rather flew then fell through the Earth's
troposphere, courtesy of Akane Express.
"CRASH!"
" itaiiiiiiiiiiii�" Ranma had landed head first in front of a lamp post
disturbing a dog which was in the middle of relieving itself. "That
kawaiiune! What's the problem with her anyway? All I did was to do what any
sane man would do, run. What makes her think that the greenish brown goop
that she whipped up was edible, and to think that I have the good humour to
remind her of this fact and all she does was to mallet me into pulp then
kick me into the sky. Geez......"
Ranma did a back somersault and flipped himself the right way up again.
Dusting his hair, he shooed at a dog which was glaring at him.
"Big news, big news!" A midget sped by, scattering a pile of flyers around
as he chanted the two words over and over again.
" hmmm.....what's this?" the young martial artist caught one of the flyers
before it had landed in a pool of what  looked like dog's urine.  
"so desu ka........that's what the stage at school is for......."


Few weeks after in Furinkan High............

" My little girl has finally grown up, " Soun wept, two tiny waterfalls of
tears pouring out from his eyes created a puddle around him. He clutched at
a panda next to him for support as sobs wrenched through his body. The panda
whose fur was getting wetter by the minute was not paying any attention to
the bawling Tendo beside him, instead, it was gawking at this huge, black
mech beside him quietly munching on crackers and unsalted popcorn. 

Bits of crumbs fell onto the audiences seated at the front.

"Oh, my......" A sweet-looking girl who had been trying to quieten the elder
Tendo down all this while looked a little exasperated. Kasumi Tendo, age
nineteen, was a wee bit uncomfortable about the amount of dirt the black
giant beside her was generating. " It would be hard to clean up this place
later."
 Genma panda face-faulted.

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Asuka was mad. She was fuming. Why ever did she agree to come with Shinji to
root for Wonder girl and Misato? Why that baka of all people? Why did she
have to sacrifice time to come to watch some dumb competition where the
dumbs compete with the dumbs? Why, why, why?
"Hey! Watch it Bardiel! You big, dumb oaf." She growled at the mech behind
her who was showering her and everyone else with cracker crumbs and bits of
popcorn. Her once beautiful auburn hair was now dotted with bits and crumbs
of titbits that unit03 is crunching on. Asuka wondered why only she was
complaining whereas the rest of the audiences who were clearly as disturbed
as she was could only swallow audibly and looked nervous in their seats. 
Meanwhile, unknown to her, something the size of a really big mouse was
currently speeding in her direction.

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" What a haul, what a haul!" Happosai said gleefully to no one in
particular. With a handkerchief tied under his nose and a sack double his
size secured on his back, the panty thief was averting a crowd of
mad-enough-to-kill girls running behind him, some of whom were armed with
brooms and clubs.
"What's this breath-taking scene before me?" he thought as he passed by a
redhead who was screaming at a black and definitely weird mech behind her,
failing to see the foot of the mech sticking out before him. 

"BONK!!!" 

" Take that and that and that, you pervert!!!!!!" Happosai with shoeprints
and broom marks on the back of his head and everywhere else was now a hole
in the ground. His sack of panties was seized by the group of girls who were
now catfighting over the panties. 
" Ohhh.........my only lacey pair of panties, I thought I'll never see it
again.."
"Hey that's mine! "
"No, MINE!!" 
Another fight broke out with sounds of ripping panties ringing in the
air.........
Everyone in the audience seats started to sweatdrop. Bardiel was one of
them. Incidentally, the sheer size of the sweat drop was enough to drown
Genma panda who was still staring at unit03. With his mouth still open.

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" Gee, that hurts more than Ranma's punch. " Happosai muttered as he climbed
out of the hole. Asuka was squatting by him, amusement written all over her
face. 
" Ah! Come to papa." Happosai, turning on his
super-kawaii-and-innocent-Grandpa-looks-with-pupils-
super-dilated-and-shimmering-with-lights, glomped the gorgeous creature in
front of him. 
"Eeghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! PERVERT!!!!!!What do you think you're
doing!!!!!!" screamed Asuka as she disentangled Happosai who was now groping
her and proceeded to pound him back into the hole. " Why did I ever agree to
come to this competition when I can be home with Kaji san!!!!!!" The red
head whined.
 Shinji, sitting next to Asuka, winced as he pushed his two index fingers
further down his ears to shut out the noise. This was by no means an easy
task, and he had certainly tried his best.. But.....the high amplitude and
frequency sound waves emitted by the second child were still making their
way through his defense and were attacking his eardrums as well as those of
several others..

Crumbs, which were still raining upon them as Bardiel showed no sign of
paying any attention to what redhead had said earlier, did not make anything
better.

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Bardiel looked at his fellow angels, Lilims cocking his head in the process.
He could not understand why everyone was stealing looks at him. Sure, he's a
little noisy stuffing his face with those yummy crackers those nice people
had left him when they ran away from their shop as he approached them, but
that's all. Bardiel reconsidered his situation and came on the conclusion
that people do not like him to eat crackers. Very well then...............

Asuka cringed when Bardiel started gorging himself with takayaki.

<Whoa, what's this?> Bardiel felt that something was coming up........... 

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Ataru Moroboshi spotted his prey. A high pitched whining redhead. Just his
type and the best thing was that........Lum was not around!!!! The green
haired, two-horned girl was getting ready for the competition.  Refusing to
let the black mech behind the girl scare him, he inched closer..............

" Hello, Pretty!" *GLOMP* 

Asuka felt that she had just been handed a shovel when she thought that her
life had hit the bottom. Something or rather someone was clinging to her,
locking her two arms at her side in the process. His face was buried in her
chest.
"HENTAI! ECCHI! LEGGO! YOU IDIOT!!!!!!" Asuka screeched as she tried to rid
herself of the lecherous teenager by bumping Shinji's head against Ataru's body.
" Itaii, Asuka," Shinji removed his fingers from his earholes to face Asuka,
only to see a newcomer in a very unusual position.
"SHINJI! ANTA BAKA? HELP ME GET RID OF THIS HENTAI!!!!!!!!!!!" 
" Ano.........me? Ok......" Shinji looked a little unsure as he gulped.
" Ano.....Mister......"he tapped Ataru on the shoulder who was concentrating
on hanging onto Asuka whose face had by now turned to an unhealthy shade of
red from anger.
 "ano.....can you please let go....." A sweatdrop formed at the corner of
his forehead when Ataru just hugged Asuka tighter.
"ANTA BAKA! HIT HIM, BASH HIM, STOP YOUR WHINNY WHINIES AND ACT MORE LIKE A
MAN. GET HIM OFF ME!!!!!!" Asuka was getting a little desperate.
Shinji squared his shoulders, muster up what little guts he had and was
about to approach Ataru again when...........

"BURRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
<Oops> The black mech behind suddenly became very interested in his feet.

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Ataru was flying. One moment he was in the arms of this whiny, busty female,
the next, soaring through the air..... there was a smell of crackers in the
air and something else......foul.....he was confused. " Thump!" Ataru hit
the ground. Strange, he thought it would hurt more than this.  
"Get off me, you bad delinquent!" Ataru heard some kid's voice underneath
him. Climbing up rather quickly, he saw what cushioned his fall. A little
girl with long hair. Smashed doriyaki in her hands.

"YADAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!YOU SMASHED MY DORIYAKI!!!!!!!!!"
" HAPPO GO-JU EN SATSU!!" The girl squeaked, vengeance blazing in her eyes,
while aiming a fifty yen coin at Ataru. After a few seconds, Hinako Hinomiya
erupted into a full grown and very sexy woman, her top barely enough to
contain her chest and her skirt barely enough to hide her hips; in fact her
very being oozed womanhood.

" AH! MY long hair goddess. Thou very presence overwhelms my heart and
graced my life. Let the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High save thee from thou
treacherous life. Do not deny thy true feelings for the Blue Thunder, shalt
thee wither like a flower. Accept my love!"
A boy wearing a dark blue kendo gi appeared out of nowhere, tears of
happiness streaming down his eyes. Brandishing a bouquet of roses in his
left hand and wooden bokken in his right, he attempted to hug the yawning
Hinako.
A five hundred yen coin was placed on his forehead."..happo go ba en satsu.."
What was left of Ataru and Kuno had now drifted away side by side with the wind.

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Happosai who had just climbed out of the Happosai-shaped hole was surprised.
He heard a loud noise followed by a gust of wind which actually smell a
little like.....prawn crackers!?! Then he was flying. His hands in a classic
Rumiko style.

"WHY MEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee......" his voice
faded away as he disappeared over the horizon.

"Oh my.." Kasumi exclaimed quietly, her hand pinching her nose, as Genma
panda fainted after taking a whiff of Bardiel's breath in the form of that
burp. His face was a strange color, while froth bubbled out of his mouth..
Soun, handkerchief stuffed up his nostrils, just stared at his old friend
and bawled again. 

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Nakago was bored. He had been tailing Miaka and the seven Suzaku senshis
ever since the whole group of them decided to come to Miaka's world for a
tour. It had been a few months already.
 < Why the hell did they come all the way to Nerima just to watch a stupid
contest? And I had to be in this stupid disguise too. It's all Suboshi's
fault. Getting me this outfit instead of decent ones... Hmphhhh, I'd better
get back to work.>
" PEANUTS, BEER, COLA!! ANYONE WANTS PEANUTS, BEER OR COLA? ONE HUNDRED YEN
FOR EACH!!"

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" Yokatta! The competition hasn't started yet." Natsume Kyusaku remarked as
he and his son, Ryunosuke took their seats. 
 Ryunosuke tugged at his father's sleeve.
" Nani? Ryu-san." Kyusaku asked his son who was clearly a little disturbed.
" Oto-chan...... kore" the boy with a red stripe running through his fringe
pointed to the man sitting next to him. 
" Geez......" Kyusaku muttered under his breath, cigarette dropping out of
his mouth.  Huge would be one word to describe this creature beside them.
Weird would be another. The stranger was wearing a really tight T-shirt with
the words" I Love Teletubbies" scrawled across the middle of his shirt,
while a picture of the famous foursome served as a foreground of the pink
colored shirt. The shirt stretched tightly across his bulging chest muscles
and looked painted on. To top it all off, the stranger was wearing bermudas,
showing off a pair of "shapely" legs which just happened not to be very
attractive with hair and stuff on them. "Hello Kitty" slippers adorned his
feet. Easily eight feet tall, with spiky hair unsuccessfully gooed back with
goodness know what, he was truly one strange sight. The fact that his
irises, like a cat's, were mere lines in the sclera did not improve his
appearance at all. The weirdest thing yet was the "wu" character on his
forehead...........

"your hand......." Benares mumbled uncomfortably to the man staring at him,
mouth agape, showing off one filled up cavity.
Kyusaku looked down at his hand, where his cigarette had dropped and landed
on earlier, the skin had turned a fiery red.
" ITAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

His scream was interrupted by the announcement over the sound system.
"Aloha! Folks. Welcome to Furinkan High School of Nerima," principal Kuno's
voice tinged with a slight Hawaiian accent which sounded, well, kookie as
usual, greeted the audience. "hmmmm......what a fine day it is today. I'm
sure minna had been waiting for a long time, but fear not, for the climax of
today's events is coming up now. Boys and girls, ojisans and obasans and
everyone else in the audience, I present to you..." *drumroll* 
" ME!"
As everyone's eyes narrowed suspiciously, a man in Hawaiian style shirt
decorated with coconut trees, a pair of gaudy colored shorts and straw
sandals stepped out from behind the speakers. He was strumming on a guitar,
and together with the single palm tree standing proudly on his skull and a
pair of dark glasses with coconut trees at the sides of the frame, the
principal of Furinkan High perfectly fits the bill of being a Kuno.
" ALOHA! KONNICHIWA, MINNA-SAN! I......." He never finished the sentence. He
had to dodge that stream of rotten cabbages and eggs coming towards him."
No, no, you won't hit me this way, MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" he gave a maniacal
laugh. With his hands planted on his waist, looking like a Hawaiian chicken,
he neatly avoided every single rotten vegetable thrown at him.
" BOP!"
 A BIG takayaki courtesy of Bardiel caught him in the face. Buried beneath
the mountain of the fish-shaped red bean pastry, only the occasional
twitching of his left leg indicated that the principal was still breathing.
Seeing that principal Kuno was motionless, dozens of rotten fruit once again
pealed the stage. They were followed by a dozen of chairs and tables and
finally a Kuno Tatewaki and a protesting Happosai. By the time the commotion
died down and the cloud of dust cleared enough to enable a clear view of
things on the stage, principal Kuno had disappeared�..but not before
screaming out his famous last words, " I'll be back........."
A pineapple with dark glasses was left behind in his place.  
"Uh Oh." was all that Daisuke managed to mutter before the pineapple went
"BOOM!" leaving behind a line of slightly charred front-row audience. 
Before long, a head with a familiar palm tree seated comfortably on it
peeped out from under a chair. 
"Oops. There's something I forgot to mention. Ahem........ LET THE COOKING
COMPETITON BEGIN!!!!!!!"

tbc.........

ps. is this fic worth continuing????? please respond.