An old I dea I had back in May finally put some data to disk. Let me
know if it's worthwhile making it into a longer oneshot.
Thanks.

=======================================================================

ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS IN THIS FANFIC--EVEN THOSE BASED ON REAL
PEOPLE--ARE ENTIRELY FICTIONAL. ALL CELEBRITY DIALOG IS TYPED BY THE
AUTHOR.....POORLY. THE FOLLOWING FANFIC CONTAINS COURSE LANGUAGE AND
DUE TO ITS CONTENT IT SHOULD NOT BE READ BY ANYONE.

=======================================================================
South Park 1/2

Ranma 1/2 characters and situations created by Rumiko Takahashi -Used
without permission
Ranma 1/2 Copyright by Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Inc., Kitty, Fuji,
Viz Communications, etc...
South Park Created and Copyright by Comedy Central, Matt Stone, and
Trey Parker

South Park 1/2 story created, written, and Copyright 1998 by some
author who is not Jim Lazar (like I'm going to take credit for this
filth).

<Speech text in angle brackets are thought by character.>

It'll help you to enjoy this fanfic if you've seen both South Park and
Ranma 1/2. Not to mention have a twisted sense of humor.

This fanfic pulls absolutely NO punches. If you've seen the 'Sprit of
Christmas' that South Park was developed from, then you have an idea of
what may happen in this fanfic. You have been warned asshole, so don't
come fucking crying to me if you are mentally scared by this fanfic.
It's really a disgusting piece of filth, hidden behind mediocre
writing. Got it, butthole?
=======================================================================

     Akane moaned in pleasure as Ranma ran his hand down to her...
[click] Sorry, wrong channel.

     Akane, Ukyo, Shampoo, Nabiki, And Kasumi moaned in pleasure as
Ranma ran his hands and feet down to their... [click] Sorry,
interesting, but wrong channel.

     Ranma moaned in pleasure as Kuno ran his hand down to Ranma's...
[click] Sorry, really wrong and icky channel.

     The author banged his remote hard against the table. [click]

<theme song>
 

     Ranma raced towards the bus stop. The ears of his hat flapped in
the wind, almost causing him to take flight off the fence he was on.
His black pigtail spun like a propeller behind him, that along with the
flaps on his hat, did cause him to go air born and land in the river by
the fence. His cock disappeared suddenly and his breasts appeared.
"Fuck! Who the fucking hell put this cunt-hole of a river here!"
Girl-Ranma cursed.

     "My Father did," a heavenly voice said from behind Girl-Ranma.

     "Oh Jesus!" Girl-Ranma cursed, then spat out some of the river
water.

     "Yes, my child?" Jesus asked.

     "I was swearing, you butthole, not asking you for help."

     "Oh, very well then," Jesus said, then floated off. Either it was
because he was the Son of God and had superpowers or it was because the
animators were too lazy to cut legs out of craft paper for them to make
him walk properly. It may have also been the fourth season of Ranma
1/2, it's hard to say for sure.

     "Stupid bastard, came to town and won't even cure this fucking
curse that makes my cock disappear!" Girl-Ranma swore, then climbed out
of the river. Akane chose this moment to come by on her way to school.

     "Hey lezbo! Get your ass out of the river and get to school,"
Akane spat at her fiancee.

     "I'm not a lezbo, you frigid dyke!" Girl-Ranma replied.

     "You're a girl, engaged to another girl, that makes you a lezbo!
Pervered cross-dressing fuckhead!"

     "I'm a guy!"

     "Show me that cock you're always boasting about then!"

     "Well it's gone at them moment."

     "Ha ha!" Akane laughed at Girl-Ranma and ran to school singing a
song, "Ranma, is a fucking hoe, Ranma has no dick, Ranma couldn't turn
on a vibrator!" Yeah, I know it doesn't rhyme, but Akane is no poet.
Come to think of it, neither is the fucking author of this fanfic
either.

     "Stupid cuntless tomboy," Ranma swore at Akane's retreating back.

                          *             *             *

     "Hurry up and get on the fucking bus or you'll regret it!" the bus
driver screamed. The duck sitting on her head quacked loudly.

     "Fucking old hag," Ranma muttered.

      "What did you say!" the bus drive screamed and prepared to hit
Ranma with her cane.

      Ranma screamed loudly, "Fucking old hag!"

     "Oh, okay then."

      The bus pulled out and Ranma sat down across from Ryoga.

      Ryoga straightened his nit cap and asked, "Where is Akane?"

     "Why? Want to fuck her?"

     "Yes."

     "Well, you can't! She's my fiancee and only I can fuck the little
dyke!" Ranma proclaimed, then softly said, "Not that I'd do anything
like that to a girl like her."

      Ryoga tried to slide further on the crowded seat he found himself
on. "Hey, Ukyo, move over, your large ass is crowding me!"

      "What do you mean by that?" Ukyo replied.

      "I mean move your fat ass so I don't fall onto the floor!" Ryoga
snapped.

      "I'm not fat, I'm just big boned," Ukyo claimed.

      "How big were the bones of the cow you ate this morning?" Ranma
asked.

      "Shut your butthole!" Ukyo screamed back, but hid the single tear
that dripped down his cheek at the insult.

      The bus pulled up to the school and disgorged it's passengers.

      Ranma walked up tot he entrance just as Akane was just finishing
chipping the dicks off the boys who attacked her every morning. Her
bokken moved so fast Ranma didn't even see the blade move. The school
yard was filled with severed members and I don't mean fan club members.

     "Jeezzzzz, talk about an emasculating feminist," Ranma commented.

     "Mmmmm hmmm hmm ahhssss hmmsssss hh hhmmm hmmm!" a figure wearing
a hooded snow jacket mumbled.

     Akane didn't even pause and jumped over and sliced the head of the
mumbling hooded figure. Then with another swing of her bokken, she
disemboweled him.

     "Oh my god! They've killed Kuno!" Ranma shouted. Then he shrugged
and wen t into class.

     "Those bastards!" Ryoga swore, then shrugged and walked away from
school.

     Ukyo was collecting the severed penises from the ground.

     "They????" Akane screamed. "*I* killed Kuno! Why can't you just
admit I'm the best cock-slicer in South Park!"

     Everyone went to class as a pack of rats pulled apart Kuno's body
and dragged it away. They fed it to the queen rat, Kodachi.

                          *             *             *

[end]?
 
 
 
 
 

=======================================================================
Email me at:  mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net  with comments, criticisms,
or if you would like to join my pre-reader list.

http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime
 

I got the idea for this back in May of 1998, but never really got too
much on paper before other things took hold of my attentions. I got
bored one day and finished the beginning.

 
 

Revision 0.0 - FFML feedback piece (August 7, 1998)
 

--
Jim Lazar

E-Mail - mailto:jimlazar@earthlink.net
Home - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar
FanFiction - http://home.earthlink.net/~jimlazar/anime

"You made Akane whose daughter?!?!"
"Genma's."
"Has she hit you with her mallet yet?"
"Several times, actually."