"Mighty Mighty MST Roll Call!"

"Petes-kun"
[Petes]Dammit. My fly is down. Don't start filming!

"Erica"
[Erica]I don't even want to know WHY it's down in the first place!

"Peter-san"
[Peter]He heard it's a lemon and decided to take the initiative.

*Peter, Petes and Erica walk down the hall to the Compound's lounge*

[Petes]Erica, did you have to do that so fast!? You nearly sliced it off!
[Erica]Don't exaggerate!
[Peter]Mike has robots... I get a Hentai-Daemon and a vengeful raccon-girl.
But then again he's stuck in space, so things even out.
[Erica]*opening lounge door* Well, I'm gonna stay out here, Lemons aren't my
fortay.

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING

[Peter]Aw man! Some one tape Lost In Space over it!

This is a Neon Genesis Evangelion Lemon.  It contains sex,
that's right I said sex.  

[Petes]Yes, you certainly did.

See there I said it again.  

[Peter]You sure did.

So
consider yourself warned.  And for those of you who still
haven't gotten the clue yet this story contains SEX, SEX, SEX,
SEX, SEX, 

[Petes]Wooo! 
[Peter]Yea!

and needless dialog.

[Petes]Rats!
[Peter]I knew there was a catch.

This fanfic is not meant to infringe upon the rights of Ginax,
Movic, NAS, Project Eva, or any others involved with Neon
Genesis.

[Peter]But you did it anyways, didn't you.

WET DREAMS 

[Petes]Or, Peter At Night.
[Peter]Aye!

By Zaku Gandi

[Both]Go away Zaku Gandi!!!

Even though the light was bright, he recognized the figure
standing in the doorway.  It was her, that mysterious girl that
he didn't know, but want to.  

[Peter]Well if he didn't know her, why does he reconise her?
[Petes]Psshhh!

The one before him, the first
child.  "Ayanami-kun, is that you?" Shinji asked already knowing
it was.

[Petes]No, it's the queen of France.

Silence was her only response.  "Ayanami-kun.  Ayanami..."

[Peter]Why does he keep calling her "kun"? That's for guys isn't it?
[Petes]Gendo never gave him that talk about how Boys and Girls differ'.
[Peter]Oh!

Shinji just stood there, not knowing what to do, why did she
ignore him.  Was she all right, all Shinji could do was wonder.

[Petes]She's ignoring you cause you keep calling her a guy!

Then the shadow in front of Shinji began to shift its weight,
slowly moving toward him, slinking forward, cat-like towards her
pray.  

[Peter](evily) Yes, kill Shinji, do him, make him scream! Bwahahahaha!!!
[Petes]Some one's been to close to the Mako generator lately.

Shinji was startled by the movement, but he was frozen in
place.  Was this Rei, and if it was, why was she still silent,
was she all right?  

[Peter]As "all right" an albino, clone of an angel can get!
[Petes]Which is pretty good.

As she came closer, Shinji began to feel
something, some thing strange.  

[Petes]Gendo left out some other things too.
[Peter]What do yo- Oh!

He had felt this before; an
energy was building inside of him.  

[Petes]He's gonna pull of a Shishi Hoku Dan!
[Peter]Rei! Get out of the way!

Shinji was baffled,
something was happening here, something was happening to him,
but what was it?  

[Peter]Poor writing?
[Petes]His realization that he's on love with Kaji?

Then it happened, Rei was still far enough
away that Shinji could not see her, but she had come just close
enough so that Shinji could tell that Rei was not wearing a plug
suit, in fact she wasn't wearing any thing at all!

[Peter]O_O
[Petes]All right! We gettin' to some real action 'ere!

"Ikari-kun... I need... something... form you.  I... want..."

[Peter]What? Some clothes?
[Petes]*stares at Peter* ...
[Peter]Or not.

Rei cut off her words, closing the distance between the two
pilots.  Rei reached out and took Shinji's arm, gently pressing
the release button on the wrist of Shinji's plug suit.  With a
hiss the suit inhaled a breath of air allowing it to release its
cling form the wearer.  

[Peter]As you can see, the plugsuit DID in fact, inhale.
[Petes]What kind of "cling" did it have?

"Ikari-kun... Will you... help me..."Rei
seemed odd, no check that, she seemed really, really weird,
Shinji thought to himself.  This couldn't be Rei.  

[Petes]Sure it is! Now get down to some sweet lovin'!

There was no
way this could be Rei thought Shinji, 

[Petes]Dammit! It is! So do her!
[Peter]Why are you so bent on Shinji having sex?
[Petes]Ah... Er... Uh...

and all he could do was
stand there, frozen in his spot with a dumbfounded look on his
face.  As Shinji stood there thinking how out of character this
was, 

[Peter]There's a first! A char in a fic realizes it's OOC.

Rei pulled Shinji's plug suit off of his shoulders and down
to his waist, and then off.  

[Petes]Somehow that sentence doesn't work...

As if on instinct Shinji stepped
out of the suit.  Was this really happening, was Rei really
doing this, Shinji was motionless, except for one part of his
body, where a build up of energy now resided.  

[Petes]He's gonna Shishi from his... Sick!
[Peter]Shut up with the Hoku Dans already!

It throbbed with
the pent-up energy, almost begging for release; Shinji still
didn't understand what was going on, either with Rei or himself.

[Peter]Well you see Shinji, there's a magical sprite called "the wood fairy"...
[Petes]You believe in the wood fairy!?
[Peter]Shut up!

"Ayanami...-kun... What's... happening?  I... I don't
under...understand, what's going on here?"

[Peter]Well let's see, you're calling her a guy...
[Petes]No, he means the other thing.
[Peter]Oh! Well, it fills up with blood...
[Petes]And Erica calls me impossible to get to.

"Don't worry Shinji-kun, I'll take care of this." Rei reached
down slowly and took hold of Shinji.

[Petes]Don't you mean "Shinji-chan"?
[Peter]Naw! It's gotta be "Chibi-Shinji".

"Shinji." Rei's voice changed.  "Sinji-kun!" What was happening,

[Petes]Wow! Rei hit puberty!
[Peter]That can't be right...

Shinji was now really confused.  "SHINJI-BAKA-KUN!" Shinji
jumped up, sweat trickling down his face.  

[Peter]You sure it's sweat? O_O

"Shinji!  Time to get
up baka!" It was Asuka, she was yelling at him, again, as usual.
He was in bed, his bed, not at NERV, not with Rei.  

[Both]Hah hah!

"Shinji,
stop dreaming about me, and get up!" Asuka stood there in his
doorway with her hands on her hips glaring at him.  

[Peter]Boy, ain't Asuka the little narcissist.

"And cover
that up.  It's disgusting." Shinji turned bright red as he
yanked up the sheets.  Well, he thought to himself, it wasn't
all a dream.

[Both] Break!

*Peter and Petes leave the lounge and go to the caf'*

[Erica]How is it?
[Peter]I think that this is just the writer's form of telling his sick
little dreams.
[Petes]On the plus side it gave me a semi!
[Peter&Erica]We're... Happy for you.
[Peter]So Erica, gonna watch the rest?
[Erica]Maybe later.
[Petes]Kay! Bai!

*Petes and Peter return to the lemon*

Later that day at NERV Shinji sought out Kaji-san, and avoided
Rei at all costs.  Shinji didn't want to embarrass himself
because of a dream.  

[Peter]Yea, those plugsuits don't hide much.

After locating Kaji, Shinji approached the
subject as delicately as possible.  

[Both]Choke! Choke!

"Um... Kaji-san... I ugh...
I want to... talk..." 

[Petes]Oooh! And he chokes!

Shinji just couldn't bring himself to say
it.

"What is it Ikari?  Come to ask me how to get Misato in to bed?"

[Peter]Note pads!
*Peter and Petes pull out their note pads and prepare to take down notes*

Shinji blushed (twice in one day, but not a record) although
that idea intrigued him that wasn't what he wanted to ask.

[Peter]Shinji thinks about sex with Misato!? This is OOC!

"Well... not... not exactly." Shinji looked at the floor.
"But... I... I want... to... to know... to know about... sex."
It just about killed him, but it he got it out.  Kaji's jaw
dropped, that was meant to be a cheep joke at Shinji's expense.
He didn't expect Shinji to actually want to... 

[Petes]With Rei!!! Not- Well I guess Kaji ain't dumb enough to think it's him.

That just wasn't
like him. At least it took him awhile to get the question out.

"Well, well, so you've got the hots for someone don't you" Kaji
began to probe the youth for information.

[Peter]Probe??? O_O
[Petes]Never figured Kaji fer a Grey...

"No... it's... it's not... like that!" Shinji became flustered,
trying to defend his question.  "It's just... that... well..."
This time Kaji cut him off.

"It's O.K. kid, I understand.  Listen Shinji, I wasn't too much
older than you when I first got laided, 

[Both]Laided???

so it's all right, I'll
tell you all you need to know to, well you know." Kaji grinned
as he began to explain the more interesting aspects of sexual
intercourse.  Shinji tried his best to keep from fainting.

[Peter]*Taking down notes* ...
[Petes]*Copying off of Peter* ...

Later that day back at Shjinji's apartment he sat in his room
thinking about what Kaji had told him earlier that day.  There
was a rise in Shinji's pants.  

[Petes]Damn! That boy has a hair trigger!
[Peter](Ladies man) To see how horny Shinji is we're gonna show him a super
nasty picture of Sally Jessy. Oh yea, it's still up. Man that's disgusting.

"Shinji-kun, I'm home.  Anybody
here?" It was Misato; suddenly his mind repeated Kaji's words
`Come to ask me how to get Misato into bed? ` he had thought
about that before, but could he, should he, would she?  

[Peter]Would she, could she, in a boat? Would she, could she, go deep throat?
[Petes]Would she, could she, every day? Would she, could she, also with Rei?
[Peter]Dr.Sues kicks ass.

What was
he thinking, it was Misato-san he was thinking about, she was
twice his age (all right 15 years to be exact), anyway Kaji
liked her, although she didn't really seem to like Kaji.  By
this time Misato had walked to Shinji's room and found him in
his room.  "Hello Shinji-kun, what are you doing?" 

[Both]O_O
[Peter](Shinji) Er, nothing! *quietly* Damn you zipper.

She looked
around the room and at Shinji, who was trying his best to hide
the erection in his pants.  

[Petes]Where the HELL was it before!? O_O

"Oh Shinji-kun, what in the world
have you been doing in here?  And you're going to have to try
better than that to hide that bulge." Shinji blushed, as Misato
sat down next to him.  She put her arm around him and whispered
in to his ear, "Ecchii, who are you dreaming about?  Maybe
Asuka, maybe Rei?"

[Petes]You see, chicks can read guys like a book.
[Peter]I forsee some action.

Shinji jumped up.  "No! I wasn't thinking about Asuka or Rei!"
The young boy was redder than the color of Misato's jacket.

[Peter]What is that anyways?
[Petes]Ruby perhaps...
[Peter]Naw, more of a scarlet.

"Oh.  Then were you thinking of maybe some one older?  Do you
want to make love to me Shinji?" Misato asked in her sexiest
voice, enjoying the torment she was giving to Shinji.  

[Petes]Vile temptress!
[Peter]Man I gotta get me down to Tokyo-3!

She
crawled over to where Shinji had fallen over onto the floor and
slithered up between his legs.  

[Both]*edging closer to the screen...*

Shinji was sweating now, oh the
forbidden fruit that was in front of him.  It felt as if his
pants had shrunk at least two sizes on him, as he felt Misato
gently rub her hand over his throbbing erection.  

[Both]*...closer...*

"Oh my Shinji,
looks like you could use some relief." Shinji's eye began to
twitch as he watched Misato slowly pull down the zipper of his
pants.  

[Both]*...closer...*

`I can't believe that she's doing this, what is going on
here`, Shinji thought to himself.

[Petes]What's going on is that she's gonna... Heh heh...

All he could manage was a stammered "Misato?"

[Peter]That's her name! Don't wear it out!
[Petes]*Groan*

"It's all right Shinji-kun, I know you must be confused, but I'm
here, I'll take care of you.  I'm doing this because you need
it, but mostly because I can't find a way to express my love for
you." `Did I just say that, did I just say that I loved Shinji,
I guess I do, don't I`.  Misato thought to herself, realizing
that she did truly love him, not really romantically, but for
what he was doing here.

Shinji looked at Misato with a puzzled look.  "Don't worry about
it Shinji-kun.  I don't ever know what I meant." And with that
she pulled his enlarged member out form it's hiding place.  "My,
my Shinji-kun, looks like you've done some growing haven't you."

[Both]O_O

She held him in her hands, and began to lick at the head of his
member slowly, making sure to get him nice and lubbed up.  Now
both of Shinji's eyes where twitching rapidly.  This was blowing
his mind, hell Misato was blowing him!

[Peter]Now that, has got to be the best line in the whole fic!

"Ahhhh!! Misato-san!" Yelped Shinji as Misato began to take him
into her mouth.  It was the most unbelievable feeling he had
ever had; this was much better than stroking himself off!  

[Petes]Let me get this strait. Shinji knows "dick" about sex, yet he jerks off?
That's just wrong! All wrong!

But
he felt like he should be doing something.  "Misato-san, I...
Ahh... Do... to... Ahh... to you?" He tried his best to speak
understandably through the waves of pleasure crashing upon his
body.  "Ahh... What... to... Ahh... you... do...AHHHH?"

[Peter]Damn, he sound like he's in labor or somthing!

Misato looked up at him while sucking on his head.  "What was
that Shinji-kun, did you ask something?" She stopped licking
Shinji's throbbing member so that he could speak normally.

"Is there anything that I can do for you Misato-san?" Shinji was
surprised at how easily he asked that question.

[Peter]Shinji sure is the caring type.

Misato looked him in the eye.  "Do you want to lick me off
Shinji-kun?" Shinji shock his head (No, not that one you
hentai!) 

[Petes]Thanks! I would have a million things to say 'bout that!

and the two repositioned themselves so that while
Misato was sucking on Shinji, Shinji could begin to lick at
Misato's already moist pussy.  

[Peter](Butthead) Sixty... Huh huh! Sixtynine.

Shinji was awe-struck by the
beauty of Misato's most private part.  First he traced her walls
with his fingers, which sent shivers running through Misato.

[Peter]That sounds painful.

Then Shinji started to lick at the lips of Miasto's pussy, and
in return Misato took more of Shinji into her mouth.  Which in
turn made Shinji lick deeper into Misato until he found the spot
that got the most reaction, Shinji remembered what Kaji had told
him from their talk earlier so he knew what to look for.  

[Petes]When was that?
[Peter]*pointing at the note pad* Paragraph 3.
[Petes]Ah!

When
Shinji started in on Misato's spot she thought that she was
going to lose it for sure, but she kept her head, or rather she
kept Shinji's head in her mouth, sucking harder and deeper into
her mouth.  

[Petes]Boy, Kaji was right! She is wild in bed!

She ran her tongue all over his length.  The two
licked and sucked at each other for hours.  

[Both]Hours???
[Peter]What is this? "A Real Man"?
[Petes]What did Nabs mean by "tossed salad"?
[Peter]I don't wanna know!

Shinji didn't know
how much longer he could hold on, but he dare not cum before
Misato did.

[Both](singing) To dream the impossible dream...

Then it happened, Shinji tittered on the edge when he whispered
into Misato, "Misato-san, I love you." Feeling the breeze of
Shinji's voice into her spot coupled with his emotional
expression sent Misato over the edge, waves of ecstasy splashed
over her, sending her into orgasm, gushing cum all over Shinji's
face, he tasted the liquid lust that poured from Misato's walls.
The taste of the liquid and Misato taking all of Shinji into her
mouth pushed Shinji over the edge that he was desperately
clinging to, releasing his own juices into Misato's mouth.  She
felt Shinji begin to lose the control that he was trying to
keep, just as she released him from her mouth.  Misato fell to
the floor next to Shinji; the two were drained of their
energies.  "So Shinji-kun, do you feel better now?" 

[Petes]Now that's a dumb question!

Misato asked
with a smile on her face as she began to wipe off some of the
juice on Shinji's face

[Peter]What kind? Orange juice?
[Petes]The juice is loose!

"Hi Misato-san.  Much better." Shinji replied with an even

[Petes]"Hi"??? Did she just come in?
[Peter]I think he left out the "a".

bigger smile.  Misato got up and went to take a shower leaving
Shinji in his room alone.  `Was this another dream?  Or did this
really happen? ` Shinji asked himself as he got into bed and
went to sleep.

[Both]*singing the resting song from FF7*

"Ikari-kun... I... need your... help." It was Ayanami again;
Shinji was back at NERV.  She was standing in front of him,
naked, like himself.  But this time Shinji wasn't frozen in
place, he reached out to Rei, pulling her close to himself,
pressing her body as close to his as he could.  "Ikari-kun, make
love to me." Shinji kissed Rei on the mouth; she was cold, but
not to cold.  There was a warmth building inside of her.  Shinji
could feel the warmth begin to grow from the both of them, it
felt good.  "Ikari-kun, I... want you... Inside of me..." Rei
spread her legs a little allowing Shinji's erection to rub
directly against her vagina.

[Peter]Finnaly this guy writes some real stuff!

Then it happened again.  "Shinji." "Shinji-kun." Rei's voice
changed.  "SHINJI-BAKA-KUN!  Get up!" Once again Shinji had been
ripped from his dreams back in to reality.  Only this time it
was different.  

[Petes]It was?
[Peter]How pray tell?

Instead of Asuka standing at his doorway with
hands on hips glaring at him, she was straddling him on the bed.

[Both]*Cheers*

And something else was different.  The close he had worn to
sleep were now missing. And so were the sheets for that matter.

"Asuka, what are you doing?" 

[Peter]Apparantly, taking the initiative. Like our friend Petes here.
[Petes]*ziip* Um, I don't know what you're talking about... @_@

Shinji demanded as he struggled to
cover himself, fearing that Asuka might deck him for being
undressed in her majesty's presence.  But she never hit him, she
only asked, "Shinji-kun, I'm bored.  Want to fuck?"

[Peter]Yea, this fic's left me a bit bored too. *gets up*
[Petes]Where are you off ta'?
[Peter]Remember, Asuka's bored. ^_^ *leaves*

This is my first attempt at writing a fanfic, lemon, Eva or
other wise, 

[Petes]It shows.

so please be kind and send any responses to Zaku
Gandi @ AOL.com.  Please keep your responses as friendly as
possible.  NOTE: this fanfic takes place outside of the Eva
story line, so please don't try to fit it in anywhere.  Thank
you Zaku Gandi.

*the screen goes black*
[Petes]Well that was... Interesting. *leaves*

(Caf')
[Petes]Hey Erica, where's Peter-san?
[Erica]Last I saw him he was headed for the teleporter.
[Petes]O_O

*End*


---Petes-kun, 
<SCG> Founder & Leader of the SCG <SCG>, <NNFM> Current Emperor of Jurai <NNFM>,
<USURP> Hinako-chan's "Big Brother" <USURP>                                     
Hoarder of Ranma hentai at http://members.tripod.com/~MMPH/index.html
Visit the SCG home page http://www.angelfire.com/mo/scgcompound/index.html
"You have my blessing to go to hell!" -Clayliens: Ressurection