Blame RpM and his Hellblazer crossovers for this.

Fight 1: John Constantine vs. Ryu

"HADOKEN!"

"Oh, bugger."

*Wham*

Winner: Ryu

Fight 2: John Constantine vs. Chun Li

"Yaaaaaa!" Kickkickkickkickkickkickkickkick.....

Winner: Chun Li

Fight 3: John Constantine vs. Zangief

Grab. Spin, spin.

*** CRUNCH ***

Winner: Zangief

Fight 4: John Constantine (in a wheelchair) vs. Akuma

"Fuck off."

Glare.

"Ere, bugger off, unless you want me to tell 'em what you were really like,
Norman."

Teleport.

Winner: John Constantine (in a wheelchair.)

--
G. Harris Bias
hbias@earthlink.net
"That's not a well rounded man. That's a woman."
     -Greg Wooledge.