Hello all!
This is the start of the project I've been working on for the past few
days: An entire Fanfic-MST-In-One series based on Neon Genesis
Evanjellydonut. The truth is, I already have part II ready of this
series, but I'm waiting for confirmation from Andrew Huang first. If
you like it, let me know using the address above. All the information
that you really need to new is in the author's notes below. BTW, sorry
that I've split this up, but it was necessary. Apparently, Eudora,
Win 3.11, and 8 megs of RAM don't mix to well. Enjoy!
James Grabowski
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NEON GENESIS EVANJELLYDONUT: M S T 3 K / C & C
Written By:
James Grabowski
Part I : Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut Hole 3.5
Revision: 1.02
Date: August 4, 1998
Time: 01:35:40 AM
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Author's Notes:
Well, this is my first MST3K/C&C of any fanfic (and it weighs in
as an MST more than a C&C). In the past I have written fanfics (LONG
ones, like 500K), but unfortunately, I lost those in a hard drive
corruption. =( (Two summers wasted: Writing / Revising) At any rate,
I'm just putting that in to signify that I know what I'm doing.
Just a few notes on this. I figured that who would be better to
talk about Evanjellydonut than the people who it involves. The six of
Evangelion (Kensuke, Touji, Hikari, Asuka, Shinji, Rei) are my choices
to criticize and comment on this piece of fanfiction. Yes folks, I am
taking a very different approach to the art of MST. As it turns out,
this MST has become its own Fanfic series.
Why do I choose to use them, and not other characters, or a
different series? Well, to be honest, I figure that those who are
involved in Evanjellydonut deserve a say. After all, it is their lives.
This was somewhat odd for me to write. I am more used to writing
on the serious side of things. To write a full piece with mostly humour
was somewhat new for me.
For the record, I am one of the younger fans of Evangelion... 15
at the time of this writing. I know what they all have to go through:
I have my own battles with life, so to speak.
BTW, as you read on, you may notice that I don't seem to like
Asuka very much. This isn't entirely true. Truth be told, I am not fond
of people like that (I don't hate her, it's just that attitude gets on my
nerves). You may notice that I give Rei a lot more credit than Asuka.
Truth be told, Rei and I are almost the same. Quiet... unemotional...
and alone. The only differences I can think of are that she has blue
hair... and I'm a male. I will save the rambling on about Rei for
another time, as I intend to write a fanfic concerning Rei and Shinji,
and I have come through with a loophole that will put all the nonsense
about Rei having been constructed from Shinji's mother to rest. (yes I
know it is true, but that isn't important really). That fanfic will be
somewhat more serious though, so... I leave that for another time.
Anyway, I intend to do a C&C for each of the Evanjellydonut
series. Why am I starting at Evanjellydonut Hole 3.5? Simple. There
isn't a MST out yet for it (that I've seen). People would be more
likely to read it than one for an older Evanjellydonut chapter.
However, the other three chapters are my next target. I could even
have another one today.
--- (August 2nd, 1998)
As a new note, I already have Part 2 written, but I'm waiting for
a reply from Andrew Huang first. This MST has pretty much turned into a
fanfic in its own. Amazing. It is now a MST, a C&C, and a Fanfic all
at the same time. For all those at the FFML, now you know why I have all
the tags up there in the subject header. Different, ne?
--- (August 4th, 1998)
At any rate, enjoy. Please let me know what you think about it.
James Grabowski
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LEGAL INFORMATION:
All characters contained in this MST3K are copyright GAINAX, Project EVA,
and any other company and/or division associated with the creation and/or
production of Neon Genesis Evangelion.
The fanfiction "Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut" is a production of Andrew
Huang, and may not be tampered with (except to do a MST3K / C&C obviously)
This MST3K is a production of James Grabowski, and may not be used in any
way, shape, or form without prior permission of the author. Distribution
is subject to prior approval by the author. (i.e.: ASK before putting it
on a web page if you wish to do so, no posting on a newsgroup w/o
permission, etc. etc. etc.)
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(It is late at night. Three forms slowly creep into the room, unobserved
by anyone on the outside... except by three others on the inside, who
also go unnoticed. The three who crept in were none other than Suzuhara
Touji, Aida Kensuke, and Horaki Hikari.)
TOUJI: How'd you find out about this Kensuke?
KENSUKE: I was looking through some files, and I found these.
HIKARI: Are you sure it's here?
KENSUKE: Very. I wouldn't doubt this for a minute! There's the
screen...
(Touji suddenly gets angry.)
TOUJI: I don't believe this? How could they toy with our lives and not
even tell us?
KENSUKE: We were there. We agreed to this... in a matter of speaking.
TOUJI: I suppose...
(The three of them take a seat at the front of the room. There are six
seats lined up in a row, Hikari taking a seat on the end, with Touji
sitting next to her and Kensuke next to him.)
TOUJI: Why are there six seats? Heck, why are there any seats for that
matter?
HIKARI: I guess other people have used this room.
TOUJI: Is there anyone else coming?
KENSUKE: (smiling) Nope, it's just us. We're free to say just about
anything we want!
?????: Think again BAKA!
(... which is followed by a whack over the head from Asuka's fist.)
TOUJI: What the hell are YOU doing here?
ASUKA: I'm here to see just what this guy's been doing to us!
TOUJI: ...us?
ASUKA: That's right.
KENSUKE: I don't see anyone with you though...
ASUKA: ... where are they? MOVE IT!
(Rei and Shinji finally come out of hiding, same from where Asuka had.
All three pilots are dressed in their plug suits.)
ASUKA: What took you so long?
SHINJI: ...ummm... uh... nothing...
REI: (quietly) There is no reason.
(As Kensuke and Touji snicker, obviously being able to tell that Shinji
is a pathological liar, the three pilots take their seats, with Asuka
sitting next to Kensuke, Shinji next to her and Rei next to Shinji.)
KENSUKE: Damn...
TOUJI: (whispering to Kensuke) What?
KENSUKE: If I say anything she doesn't like... it was nice knowing you
Touji.
HIKARI: Why are you guys here anyway?
SHINJI: For the same reason as you. We're here to find out what's been
happening to us.
REI: The truth is... we don't know what's been happening. At all.
TOUJI: You don't?
REI: No.
TOUJI: (evil grin) Really?
REI: (quietly) No. What is wrong?
TOUJI: (snicker) Nothing, nothing at all. I think you might enjoy
this...
SHINJI: The three of you know?
KENSUKE/TOUJI/HIKARI: Yep.
ASUKA: Than tell us!
TOUJI: Oh no, we can't do that. You'll just have to go watch the other
three episodes after this...
KENSUKE: (whispering to Touji) I can't wait to see their reactions!
TOUJI: (whispering to Kensuke) Especially Shinji and Rei. I bet you
that the both of them turn bright red.
KENSUKE: (a little too loudly) You're on!
ASUKA: What are you talking about?
KENSUKE/TOUJI: Nothing!
ASUKA: (fuming)
HIKARI: Can we start?
REI: We're all her. There's no reason not too.
HIKARI: Alright. Kensuke? You're the one who found out about this.
How do we start it?
KENSUKE: There's a portable control panel somewhere in here. It'll let
us control the replay.
TOUJI: Like a remote control?
KENSUKE: (sighs in his hands) Yes, like a remote control.
HIKARI: Found it?
SHINJI: Where?
HIKARI: Under my seat.
SHINJI: Oh.
KENSUKE: Pass it here.
(Hikari hands the remote to Kensuke.)
KENSUKE: Here we go! (presses the play button)
Reminder: There _are_ spoilers in here. Big time. There is an
especially blatant revelation of one of the secrets behind the nature
of the Evangelions.
ASUKA: What is he, a script writer?
KENSUKE: Shhhh.
ASUKA: Don't "Shhhh" me!
Evangelion is the property of Gainax (great bunch of people, they
are). ADV Films has the rights to the English translation.
TOUJI: Don't most fans of Evangelion know this? Why put it in?
HIKARI: Legal reasons.
TOUJI: Oh.
Still more of the thing called Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut. Do please
read the previous three parts first, before reading this part. Note that
this is an interlude piece, much shorter, and released to make you all a
bit happier. Nothing much happens, I just need to establish a few things
before the next full part.
KENSUKE: This doesn't mean we have to C&C the others first though. We
can do it in any order we want! HAHAHAHAHA!
ALL: Uh...
SHINJI: Maybe I should hold that remote for a while...
(He takes the remote from the still-hysterical Kensuke.)
"I know. This is late. Very late. Several months in the writing. Shut
up already. I'm going, I'm going!"
TOUJI: Several months? That's not progress...
KENSUKE: Sloppy sloppy sloppy...
Ikari Gendou's mind rose through the layers of blessed unconsciousness
and emerged into wakefulness. He lay there quiescently, contemplating
the ceiling above him. It was slightly blurry, as he did not have his
glasses on.
Presently, a face loomed over him.
An accompanying voice spoke. Ibuki Maia's voice.
"You really must teach me how you do that, sir."
Gendou blinked. "Ah...do what?"
"Take a fall like that. I mean, when Rei grabbed you by the arm and
just tossed you--I'm sure a human body usually doesn't make _that_ much
noise from falling such a short distance. You had to have done something
to amplify the crash sound."
ASUKA: She did WHAT?
REI: I did that?
SHINJI: Wow.
Gendou sighed. This was going to be one of _those_ days, was it?
SHINJI: (to himself) Heh heh heh.
***
Neon Genesis Evanjellydonut Hole 3.5:
Family Can Get on One's NERVs
by Andrew Huang
written for The Sound and the Furry Productions
***
SHINJI: Is there a 1.5 and a 2.5?
KENSUKE: No.
SHINJI: Why not?
KENSUKE: I don't know. But now we can complain about something besides
part 4.
"Good morning, Asuka-chan!" Hikari's bright smile truly beamed.
"'Morning, Asuka." Shinji came in with a vase and a pink carnation.
"Misato wanted me to bring you this for her."
"Guten mor...good morning." Asuka yawned and rubbed her eyes. "I want
to get out of here. I'm all right, really I am...." She looked around.
Cocking an eyebrow, she asked, "Just you two?"
ASUKA: Wh... why am I in the hospital?
TOUJI: You fought an angel... and won...
KENSUKE: (dramatically) But at what cost?
(Asuka smacks him over the head.)
ASUKA: What was that "Just you two" remark?
Hikari coughed. "Er...Touji-kun thought probably...and Rei...."
Asuka sighed. "How considerate of them."
REI/SHINJI/ASUKA: ???
Shinji set the flowers down by her bed. "Well, yeah. And...here!"
Shinji waved a pair of video tapes around.
"Hey! Don't go flashing those around this place! I have a reputation
to keep, you know!" Asuka hastily snatched them out of his hand. "Um.
Danke schoen."
Shinji nodded, and grinned. Asuka scowled a little.
"And here's the stuff that you've been missing in class." Hikari
produced a bag and dumped it on the bed. The bed shook.
"_What_ has Sensei been doing!?"
"Stopped mumbling about the Second Impact and actually assigning
work." Shinji's lip quirked. "I never thought I'd actually miss those
lectures of his."
"So, Asuka-chan, how's the food here?"
"I'm beginning to think Misato is on the hospital kitchen's payroll."
Everyone winced.
SHINJI: Ouch.
"Ah. Well, 's there anything else you need?" Shinji seemed awfully
solicitous today.
"If you're trying to buy my favor, it won't work. But no, I'm fine.
Thanks anyway." Asuka stifled a second yawn.
Shinji nodded. "All right. Gotta go--I'm meeting up with Kensuke about
something. Get well soon." He walked out the door.
"Close the door, okay?"
Hikari did so as she exited, giving a cheerful wave. "See you later!"
Asuka sighed again, then pulled the cart with the TV and VCR towards
herself. Turning on the machines and lowering the volume, she stuck one
of the two tapes in.
<*I am the beautiful sailor-suited warrior, Sailor Moon! And in the
name of the Moon, I will punish you!*>
"Ahh...bliss."
ASUKA: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!?!?!
REI: An anime from the 1990s, prior to the 2nd Impact.
ASUKA: I KNOW THAT! SINCE WHEN DO I WATCH THAT?!?!?!
REI: Since the writer stuck it in.
------------------------------------------------
It was a wonder, her cute smile. It still made Shinji a little
lightheaded. But that wasn't the important thing--for the moment. "Well,
where's Kensuke?"
ASUKA: Well, they must OBVIOUSLY be talking about me, right Shinji-kun?
SHINJI: (too himself) Yeah right. Someone shoot me before she tries
anything... (out loud) I doubt it. You're in the hospital.
"Are you kidding? He's not going to find out about the plan until it's
too late. I mean, until he's participating." Her smile shifted, just
slightly. Her eyes glinted a certain way. Her _teeth_ glinted, in that
same way.
ASUKA: I don't see anybody.
"Are you sure about this? I mean, I know Aida, and I know how he--and
I--feel about Asuka." Touji looked up from his cuddle session with
Hikari.
TOUJI: I... I... what, am I doing?!
(Hikari grabs on to Touji.)
HIKARI: (smiling) What do you think?
TOUJI: Heh heh... heh... ummmm... (to himself) I knew they'd leave that
in...
SHINJI: You see Asuka, it's not you?
ASUKA: I guess. What are they trying to do? Set me up with Kensuke?
(laugh)
KENSUKE: Uh... that's it...
ASUKA: WHAT?!
(She begins to beat on Kensuke.)
ASUKA: WHO THE HELL SUGGESTED THAT?! I'LL KILL THEM?!
KENSUKE: (in pain) Do you think I liked the idea...?
SHINJI: So, who's the other person then?
"And I know that Asuka-chan isn't too fond of him either. Touji-kun's
right...." Hikari tried to pull him back down to the interrupted cuddle
session. She would have succeeded, except--
"Two words," said Rei. "Training room."
ASUKA: Where did she come from?
SHINJI: ... oh my...
REI: ...
TOUJI: (to Kensuke) Are they blushing yet?
KENSUKE: Not yet...
The three EVA pilots were silent. Hikari, who had only heard about the
events of that day, still wasn't quite convinced. "Was it _really_ that
bad?"
SHINJI: Three? You're back on Touji?
TOUJI: Yep. Unit-03 is still intact.
SHINJI: Cool.
"No, it was worse. I say we go with this." Shinji looked over to Rei.
"You have a plan?"
"Working out the later details, but yes, I have a plan. I've already
started, too." Rei smiled, again.
Shinji felt lightheaded, again.
(Shinji hits the pause button. Asuka face-faults. Shinji turns red. Rei
turns redder, which is quite a feat. Kensuke and Touji burst out
laughing. Asuka starts to run around the room screaming in German.)
KENSUKE/TOUJI: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
SHINJI: ...
REI: ...
KENSUKE: HAHAHAHAhahaha, haha.. heeeeh. Well Touji, you win.
TOUJI: HA! Never underestimate me!
ASUKA: (calming down, sits in her seat) It's not real, it's NOT real...
KENSUKE: Well Shinji, what do you... Shinji?
(Shinji looks at Rei. Rei looks at Shinji. The both look at the screen.)
SHINJI/REI: (quietly) How'd they know?
(And that little remark brings the entire room to a halt.)
HIKARI: (face-fault)
TOUJI: (snicker)
KENSUKE: (snicker)
ASUKA: (on fire, literally, takes Kensuke with ten buckets of water to
put her out)
SHINJI: (blushing furiously)
REI: (blushing more furiously)
TOUJI: Ummm... maybe we should move on before those two melt...
KENSUKE: And that was just over a smile!
TOUJI: Wait until they see the other three episodes...
SHINJI: Why?
REI: What happens there?
TOUJI: (smiling at the ceiling) Rei tries to hit on you.
(Shinji passes out. Rei just stares ahead for a while. Asuka decides to
step out for a while to sharpen some knives she "found".)
(About ten minutes later, everyone is re-seated and the show goes on...)
Kensuke, somewhere else, suddenly sneezed and felt very, very scared
at the same time. That resulted in a rather large usage of tissues.
REI: Tension breaker...
"Maya," Ritsuko began, "today...."
She stopped.
"Sempai?" asked Maya.
"There it is again," said the doctor.
"What?"
ALL: ???
"Father."
"Shinji."
Ikari and son sat looking at each other, over the menus. It was a
special day, today. Ikari Yui's birthday. She would have been 38. In
honor of her memory, they were having lunch together.
SHINJI: This is a very odd little show.
If it hadn't been for the graveside meeting a few months ago, this
would have been even more uncomfortable. Of course, it is difficult to
contemplate that level of discomfort, considering that _now_, Shinji's
prime instinct was still to get up and quietly shuffle away. Then again,
one must suppose that this was an improvement over wanting to run away
aimlessly. Shuffling out of a restaurant is a bit more dignified than
running out, and he certainly would have had a particular destination,
ah-ha, in mind, had he given in to his instinct this time around.
KENSUKE: I think I know what that is...
(He is smacked by Asuka while Shinji and Rei countinue to blush...)
They kept on staring at each other, perhaps in the hopes that one of
them would break down and actually start _talking_ about something,
sooner or later. It must be remembered, though, that the phrases "normal
family relationship" and "NERV affiliate" just don't quite fit in the
same sentence without considerable suspension of disbelief. Or, perhaps,
a negative modifier.
HIKARI: Now THAT is funny.
Still, something had to give.
"So...how are you and Rei doing?"
It was a little forced, but a noble attempt, nonetheless.
Shinji sighed slightly in relief. "We're getting along great, Father."
No thanks to you.
KENSUKE: Ha!
"She's got something planned for us tonight."
KENSUKE: Now I DEFINITELY KNOW wha...
(He is smacked by Asuka, Shinji, and Rei all at the same time.)
KENSUKE: Aaaahhh... they're talking about the Asuka/Me thing...
ASUKA: And I'm sure that's what you intended. Baka...
Gendou nodded, and was silent for a while. "It is...good to hear
that."
TOUJI: And it is good to get on with the scene.
<*--as it turned out, a small black piglet had gotten tangled up with
the unmanned glider's landing mechanisms. I guess you could say that
pigs have flown.*>
Rei blinked, and frowned momentarily, while the newscaster laughed a
bit at his bad joke, and moved on to another story. She then returned
her attention to the computer terminal.
SHINJI: When did Rei get a computer? She didn't have one at her
apartment when I was th...
(He stops short, realizing what he just said.)
KENSUKE/TOUJI: (snickering) What were you doing at her apartment.
SHINJI: I... was... err...
REI: (quietly) Giving me my new security card from NERV.
KENSUKE/TOUJI: (disapppointed)
The silence had come back, after the initial effort. Shinji felt that
it was his turn.
"Um...why did you decide to come here, anyway? I thought you liked
sashimi more than Indian food."
The fact that his son knew what sort of food he liked surprised Gendou
a bit--almost as much as it surprised Shinji himself.
SHINJI: You can say that again...
"Um, well...it's a
little hard to use chopsticks, when...." Gendou drummed his taped
fingers on the table. He almost winced in pain.
Shinji declined to comment on Rei's, er, handiwork, but did shake his
head slightly.
SHINJI: I want to laugh at that. I really do.
Gendou shrugged. "Well, I don't know about you, but I could murder a
curry."
They placed their orders, and briefly contemplated each other.
"Tell me about Mother."
HIKARI: I guess we all saw that coming eventually.
This took Gendou off guard for a moment. "She was...full of life. So
vibrant. She had greatness written all over her. I was so proud of her."
As he spoke, his expression became positively wistful. "But more than
that, I remember...when you came along, she put even more energy into
raising you up...." And, of course, there was _before_ you were born....
"Father? You're drooling." Shinji felt slightly sick.
Gendou blinked. "Ah. My...apologies." He sobered quickly. "She was a
wonderful woman, scientist, and mother. Simply put."
ASUKA: Mr. Huang said no lemons.
KENSUKE: Limes, lemons, pineapples, it doesn't matter. He likes to toy
with innuendo.
TOUJI: (to the screen) The audience has cried out for something to
happen! Take a hint!
(Reflects upon that statement...)
TOUJI: But not with Gendou!
<< End of 1/2, 2/2 in following message >>
James Grabowski
"Man is descended from one alone.
One way or another, we're all related.
With this knowledge, the wall blocking the "truth" is destroyed,
Leaving an oppurtunity that can be used to a positive advantage.
One that can change man's perception forever,
And consequently, prove the theorum wrong..."