Subject: [FFML] [fanfic][sort of][Guess who?] Introspection
From: "Nikholas F. Toledo Zu" <makoto@smarqweb.com>
Date: 8/4/1998, 7:08 AM
To: ffml@fanfic.com, aerolbj@epic.net

Hmmm... something I cooked up while I was writing for my school's newpaper. Care to guess who I'm implying here???? ^_^ 


Introspection


	The young man lay there on the rooftops, staring at the tranquil heavens 
before him. It was just after sunset, the sun sinking below the horizon, gleaming 
brilliantly as it sank into the depths; giving way to the darkness that would 
follow the light. The stars were just coming out, shinning brightly like jewels set 
upon the velvet of the skies. 
	Far above him, the moon shone brilliantly as well, illuminating the 
heaven's with its pale glow. The weather was slowly cooling, the ground 
radiating back the heat it had absorbed during the day. A soft wind blew, 
rustling the leaves scattered across the rooftop.
	The young man sighed, his thoughts too far away to notice the 
grandiose view set before him by Mother Nature. Not that he could be blamed 
for it. People with problems tend to ignore things around them. Probable cause 
for accidents and stuff. 
He felt terribly lonely. His girlfriend had broken up with him after an 
argument they had just this morning. He'd skipped class because of that. 
Probably missed a discussion or two. Not really a problem save for the breaking 
up bit. 
	Who would have thought she'd get pissed enough that she'd actually 
break up with him. He idly wondered if it was _that_ time of the month for her. 
She acted like it. 
	He berated himself, wishing he'd done the right thing and just shut up. 
Just maybe she wouldn't have broken up with him. If there was one thing he 
hated the most in a relationship, it was those little problems that kept creeping 
up one after another. She never used to be too suspicious of him. Heck! she 
never complained back then, before they got together, when some of the women 
flirted with him every so often. Back then, they were the best of buddies. 
	Friends forever they had promised one another, sealing the promise 
with their pinkies linked together. A childish oath, but an oath nonetheless. 
	And now, after ten years, they broke up. 
	A part of him wondered just what the heck he said that pissed her off so 
much that she actually slapped him like that. It had hurt. One was enough. Two 
would have been painful. More than that was� well� it spoke of certain 
things.
	All of it bad.
	She even punched him in the gut after that. 
	The physical pain was bearable. It was the mental one that bothered 
him. Thinking back, he could not think of anything that could have made her 
angry like that. Something nagged at him; prompting him to go after her and say 
something for his defense. The problem was, he was at a loss on what to say. 
	He had never been good with words. Never could say the right thing 
even if his life depended on it. He had his faults -- quite a lot actually -- but she 
loved him. Well, considering he got dumped� 
	He stared back at the stars, eyeing them like they could provide him 
with the answers he sought. He marveled at the simple beauty spread before 
him. No mortal hand could have drafted such a scene without a hefty sacrifice of 
something important.
	Probably sell his soul to the devil or something to that effect.
	Once again, he wondered what to do with his dilemma. 
	There were quite a few things he could do. Problem was he was more 
likely to botch them up than anything else. He couldn�t ask her out for a date 
right now. He was damn broke for one thing. Besides, he doubt if she'd be in any 
mood to go out if she was indeed suffering from that time of the month women 
seemed to suffer from. 
	*So what now?* he thought.
	With the news of their breakup spreading across school like wildfire, 
many of the others would be celebrating right about now. Sure, he could admit it 
to himself, his ex-girlfriend -- it hurt just saying that -- was pretty unique. 
	She had a simple beauty about her that lent an air of mystery to her. 
Long flowing  hair that shone like the sun. Gentle sapphire eyes that held an 
intelligence to match anyone's. Indeed, she was quite a catch. 
	*So why was he letting her go so easily?* he asked himself that stupid 
question. 
	He was afraid. 
	Simple as that. 
	He closed his eyes for a moment, a dozen scenarios playing through his 
mind with the speed of light. 
	*So what now?* he asked himself glumly. 
	He could not afford to let her go. She was more than just his girlfriend 
and confidante. He felt complete with her. Like a soulmate only better. 
	Much, much better.
	He opened his eyes, propping his arms behind him as he sat up. He 
stared at the heavens once more for a while, a smile on his face. Moments later, 
he went back into his room to change into something other than his soiled 
clothes.
	After all, he was going to meet the goddess of his existence was he 
not?? 

End.
	
	
Okay. So its short. I can't really write it in its 10 page concept. I had to shorten it a lot. But it worked. Better than expected really. 

More notes [and shameless plug]
	Anyone want to pre-read Angel's Chronicles??? The last part is extremely hopefully nearly complete. It's the very end of the story. The only ones I could still remember would be SKJAM, Mr. Cadwagan, and LaShawn... now happily married.... ^_^ 
	Any takers, send me a private email. 
	And... if you want the older parts, visit my... err... our webpage. The revised chapters won't be out until I can iron them all out completely.... ^_^



*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*
       RADLER 
 Nikholas F. Toledo Zu 
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Wings of my angel,
Shelter me in your faith.
In you, I find my soul.
In me, I find your love.
We are one, forever more. 

Personal Email Addy: makoto@smarqweb.com ; radler@tri-isys.com 
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