Whoops! I meant to send this directly to the ml, but I sent it to the
author only -- just figured that out. Gomen nasai...
-----Original Message-----
From: RPM - acct 3/5 <rpm39788@Bayou.UH.EDU>
To: fanfic list <ffml@fanfic.com>; pcorrig@uoft02.utoledo.edu
<pcorrig@uoft02.utoledo.edu>; rhea@ikkoku.maison-otaku.net
<rhea@ikkoku.maison-otaku.net>
Date: Monday, August 03, 1998 2:59 AM
Subject: [FFML] [Hellblazer/SM] Sailor Hellblazer 6 & epilogue
---------------------------------
Rod M. & David Tai present...
John Constantine:
SAILOR HELLBLAZER
part 6
lost souls
Yay!
A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production
---------------------------------
...and we do!
"S'all dark. Looks like Gemma's asleep."
"Good. Now follow me, and don't do anything stupid."
Whoops! Said the magic words! Y'know, Constantine shoulda oughta knowed
better...
The door to John's townhouse opened slowly, and the duo of
John 'Wonder Woman' Constantine and Chas 'Cabbie' Chandler
snuck inside.
"We're gettin' a hostage?" whispered Chas.
"Yeah," said John. "Small white cat. Scruffly little
bastard's around here somewhere, I can feel it."
Through sheer bloody luck, John and Chas didn't stumble on
anything or knock any objects down.
They made it as far as the stairs.
Good Luck, at that point, ceased to be a factor.
o/~ If it weren't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all o/~
As she ranted on, Gemma kept on looking at the girl. She
couldn't help it, as there just seemed to be _something_
about her that nagged on Gemma's mind.
A small voice in her head whispered the answer. It was an
impossible answer, but as Gemma stared at the girl she
_knew_ it was true.
The short blond hair.
The rogue-esque look about her.
The cigarette in her mouth. Silk cut brand.
The distinctive trenchcoat.
Janet Reno?
Um... sorry, don't know where that came from...
"U-Uncle John?"
The girl grinned sheepishly. "Aheh, hi princess. You'll
_never_ believe what happened to me."
- - -
"Well he's back," said Minako. "Now what do we do?"
"Wait and see what he does next."
"Why are watching in our civvies?"
"I suspect," said Setsuna, "that Constantine would sense us
if we were."
If we were what? Watching in our civvies? Well, then, you must want to be
found!
...or maybe you need an "n't" there....
"Hey, you don't think he's gonna... y'know... do something
to his niece? You know, the evil uncle thing and all that."
What's that? Cherades? ^_^
"I want you two at Stonehenge before sunrise," said John.
"Be seeing you. HELL'S GATE!"
A circle lined with mysterious symbols appeared under John's
feet, and before the two Sailor Senshi could react, John
sank into it and disappeared.
John's last words before disappearing faded into the wind...
Although there's nothing wrong with this sentence, I had to read it three
times to make sense of it. A pair of commas would have helped
significantly, as in:
John's last words, before disappearing, faded into the wind...
"Well bugger me, it worked."
Pluto shook her head. "I will not allow time trav-"
"Ah, just a minute, who said anything about time travel?"
asked John. "You're a smart girl, Pluto. Have a look at my
little drawings. You tell me what I'm gonna do."
Pluto examined the sigils, circles, and arcane symbols,
while always skeeping John in sight. Finally, it dawned on
her.
"Now 'skeeping'," said Humpty Dumpty, "is another portmanteau -- two
meanings packed up into one word. It's a combination of 'keeping' and
'skeet', as in skeet shooting, so in this instance it's used to mean that
not only does Pluto have John in sight, but in her sights, so to speak..."
"Excuse me," said Alice, "but I think the author just mistyped the word
'keeping'. I don't think he meant all of that other stuff at all."
"What's that?" Humpty said. "Oh, bugger, I thought he was being rather
clever there. Well, there's glory for you."
"This is a gate to the asteroid belt."
"Smart girl."
"But... why?"
"Tell me, after Nemesis bit the big one, did anyone bother
examining what was left?"
"No, it was too hazzardous to. Dark magic was running wild
amongst the asteroids, even until the fall of the Silver
Millenium."
hazardous: dangerous, risky
hazzardous: Involving a scantily-clad fire priestess, a lecherous lesbian
princess, and a psychotic class president with delusions of world conquest.
Which of these words did you mean to use? ^_^
"Well, you should have."
"And why is that?" asked Minako.
You forgot about the toy surprise hidden inside?
"So you've got all your memory back yet?" asked Gemma.
"Most of it," said the cat. "Still a bit fuzzy, especially
recent events, but for the most part yes."
"A magical cat, eh?"
"Mm-hm. That's me."
"And you're normally in Japan?"
"I have lots of memories of sushi, yes."
o/~ I'm gonna eat you little fishy o/~
Oy. Gomen. Don't need a SM/Red Dwarf crossover now, do we?
"You do know the cartoon is based on a real super-heroine,
yes?"
"Really?"
"Yes, though she's a regular of Tokyo these days, she did
spend a few months here."
"Really?" asked Gemma.
"Oh, yes," said Artemis proudly. "It was a few years back,
you might've caught it in the newspaers."
"I'm not the newspaper type. Sorry."
Which, I realize, will become a problem if you're not house-trained...
"Oh." This took some of the steam out of Artemis' momentum
and pride. "Er, well, anyway, I recall it was a good stint
in London."
"So I was supposed to be like that, was I?"
"Yes."
"With that bloody ridiculous short skirt?" asked Gemma with
a frown.
"Well, it's not as short as it seems..."
"And I'm to run about beating up nasties in the name of the
moon, the stars, and lots of love?" asked Gemma, her frown
deepening.
She understands all too well!
"Not in those exact words," said Artemis sheepishly.
"Why me?"
"Well, it's a long story," said Artemis. "Do you believe in
reincarnation?"
- - -
A solitary speck of light appeared amongst the darkness
of the asteroid belt. That light expanded, becoming a
circle, which in turn became a ring. From within that ring,
John Constantine emerged.
She'd always wondered what space was like. Breathtaking was
one word that came to mind. Given that logically she
should've been dead, Pretty Bloody Scary came to mind as
well.
Pretty Bloody Scary: what you get when you cross a Spice Girl with a
magical transformation sequence....
"Right then, Jemma. Let's do it."
John closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath (not
for the sake of oxygen, but merely as a relaxation
technique), then held her arms out wide.
Oxygen? What oxygen? What're you breathing these days, John?
While you're at it, you really ought to point out that her cig is still lit,
despite the vacuum. ^_^
She began chanting in ancient tongues not spoken for
thousands of years, spells forgotten to all but a handfull
of beings on earth, and reached out with the magic.
You might want to add 'she' in there at the end. as in, "...and she reached
out with the magic." I don't know if it's absolutely necessary, but
otherwise I want to read that last part in the same way I read the middle
part, and I get, "She began chanting... reached out with the magic." and
then I have to backtrack to read it again.
- - -
"A million souls trapped for thousands of years," said Pluto
sadly. "Such a tragedy."
"Yeah, like the Titanic," said Venus. "only worse.
There was this stupid theme song, and it kept playing and kept playing, for
all eternity... it was HORRIBLE!!!!
"Hm. Do you remember how I was like back then?"
how I was like? Don't you mean what I was like?
"Sorry, no. My memory's still a bit fuzzy, and I don't
think I knew you personally either."
"Hm."
>From that point on, they killed some time watching the Dirk
Rigby show.
"Nice fellow, Dirk," said Artemis. "I remember he
interviewed Sailor V once."
"Oh."
"You think they'll be back soon?" asked Gemma.
"I don't... er... hey, what's that?" asked Artemis
"What's what?"
"That big shimmering portal hovering in the air outside."
"Is that what I think it is?"
"I don't know -- what do you think it is?"
"A big orange swirly thing in space!"
Oh, wait, I promised not to go there... ^_^
Gemma looked outside to see a shimmering disc floating
several meters above the lawn. A moment later, three
figures fell ungracefully from it with a collection of
thuds.
-thud- "Oof."
-thud- "Ow!"
-thud- "Bloody Fucking Hell!"
"Ah," said Gemma. "They're back."
- - -
A day later...
With no more mysteries to solve and no more adventure to be
found, Minako Aino went to a train station, again found
herself facing the wedding of Katerina and Alan.
No sense in putting things off, she thought, and after a day
of catching up on the sleep she'd missed, Minako caught the
first train out. The wedding ceremony was to be held in a
country estate owned by an uncle of Alan's, a few miles away
>from London with a good amount of trees and forests around.
Waiting for the train was something she wasn't looking
forward to, if only because of what laid ahead.
of what _lay_ ahead.
"So, are you ready?" asked Setsuna.
"As ready as I'll ever be," mumbled Minako.
"You'll be just fine," said Artemis. "You're just nervous
because you haven't seen them in a long while."
"I agree with Artemis," said Pluto. "You've nothing to
worry about."
Trains came and went, as did the passengers in a light
swarm. Birdsong and idle chatter filled the morning air.
What, no muzak? No sappy symphonic version of 'Paint It Black'? ^_^
- e n d p a r t 6 -
Very good! Ooh, but wait! There's more!
---------------------------------
Rod M. & David Tai present...
John Constantine:
SAILOR HELLBLAZER
epilogue
constantine forever
A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production
---------------------------------
"If you choose Magic, you will never be able to return
to the life you once lived. Your world may be more...
exciting... but it will also be more dangerous. Less
reliable. And once you begin to walk the path of
Magic, you can never step off it."
- the Phantom Stranger
"The Books of Magic"
Although tripping and falling off of it's another matter...
Ten years ago...
The sun set on another quiet day in a desolate suburb. A
little girl, the only person in sight in the area, stood
atop a swing, rocking mindlessly back and forth.
Gemma Masters was not a happy girl. Her childhood had
quickly sunken into a mundane and boring existence. She had
few friends, since her parents tended to move around so
much.
Her father was not much of a presence in her life. He just
seemed to be... there.
All mum ever did was tell her DON'T do this DON'T do that.
There had to be more to life than this.
There was, actually.
Her uncle John told her of far-off places she'd never see,
and brought back neat... things. A toy crocodile from a
faraway tribe, a gemstone from a forgotten city, a frozen
teardrop of an angel (or so he claimed).
There was an amazing world out there, and it was out of her
reach.
At that moment, Gemma sealed her fate with a thought.
I want it too.
I want to see those other worlds.
I want to see what nobody's ever seen.
I want to be just like Uncle John.
I want the magic.
- - -
Mordern day...
"Now there's another portmanteau for you... a combination of 'morbid' and...
what? Oh bugger, not again!"
A drink.
John needed a drink, several drinks if possible, and in a
place where her appearance wouldn't be too weird.
There was only one pub he knew of that would fit the bill,
the place run by the Lord of the Dance.
Because, after you've starred in two world-famous Celtic musicals and danced
before thousands all over the world, what's left to do except open a pub?
With her spirits already low, John slouched through the
doorway and took a seat at the far end of the bar.
"Oi, pint'a Guiness here."
"Coming right up." The barkeep finally turned around. John
took one look, and was nearly speechless.
The Lord of the Dance was normally a stout fellow, tall,
muscular, with a manly beard and clothes that would somewhat
resemble that of viking furs.
The creature standing behind the bar had that same bearded
face, though now it was in an irritable scowl. The rest of
him, however, was far from normal. The first thing he
noticed was that the man was shirtless, and in these silly
black tights. His body was now lean, thin, and rather
hairless, with bits of black and green body paint forming
patterns on either side of his belly.
Ooops, gave the joke away for myself... ^_^
"Jesus, what the hell happened t'you?!" she blurted out.
The Lord of the Dance took a step back, surprised. "Er, do
I know you, miss?"
"Take a friggin guess, mate," said John. She lit a
cigarette and adjusted her trenchcoat.
"John?"
She nodded.
"And I thought I was having a bad time of it. What happened
to you?"
"Long story. What happened to YOU?"
The Lord of the Dance sighed. "Reconfiguration, John. It's
a right bitch sometimes."
John nodded.
- - -
Reconfiguration was what happened to the deities when the
beliefs of man changed over time. The Norns and the
Yggdrasil were prime examples of configuration. Once, long
ago, the Yggdrasil was a tree, and the three goddessess were
its gardeners. Now, the Yggdrasil was a massive computer,
and the Norns were maintainers of the system.
Where's the crossover, Mike? I wanna see it! ^_^
Reconfiguration was known to do odd things to deities.
Cupid, for example, had gone from a dashing figure from
Roman myth to a sickeningly cute cherub with little wings.
His most recent change was the most ridiculous: a rotund
bearded gangsta weilding a machinegun which shot chocolate
bullets laced with love potion. He was the 'Gangsta of
Luv'.
Ooh! A reference to a comic I _DO_ read! ^_^
Reconfiguration was something to fear indeed.
We're not even going to mention what happened to poor Hercules a year or so
ago...
- - -
"It's because of some bloody prancing wanker tourin' around
the world, John!" raged The Lord of the Dance. He pulled
out a poster, featuring a young man, bare-chested, in black
tights, in a dramatic pose on a stage full of similarly clad
dancers. The name of the show was "The Lord of the Dance".
"Oh, Jesus, THAT thing," said John.
"Yes, THIS thing," spat the Lord of the Dance. "Thanks to
this Irish capering pansy tap-fairy, I'M LIKE THIS!"
John smirked and lit a cigarette. "Well, mate, do not go
quietly into those black tights. Rage, rage against the
wearing of the tights!"
Hee! Great line!
The Lord of the Dance gave John a flat look. "Veeery funny,
Constantine."
"Well, at least you still got yer balls," said John.
"Tightly squeezed as they may be in this silly outfit,"
muttered the Lord of the Dance. "Now how about you, eh?"
John told him.
There was a moment of silence as the Lord of the Dance
absorbed this information.
"Sailor Hellblazer, eh? Sounds kinda catchy, actually."
"I am NOT going about super-heroing, right? No way."
"And y'know, as a girl, y'look quite interesting," said the
Lord of the Dance with a chuckle.
"Keep on that line of thought and I'll rip your balls off.
I haven't changed THAT much."
"Heh, so I guess." The Lord of the Dance sat back and
polished a glass, as many a barkeep tended to do while
talking. "I must say, John, perhaps you should've let Gemma
take the thing."
"No."
"I mean, you've not only taken a magic that was meant to be
hers, you've actually stolen a part of her. That could have
bad side-effects, my friend. Did you think about that?"
John sighed and thumped her head on the bar. "Shit. No.
All the more reason for me to try and sort this mess out as
soon as possible. There HAS to be a way out of this without
spoiling Gemma's life with magic."
There was a tap on John's shoulder. She turned around.
"Yeah?"
A demoness, blond and clad in black leather, grinned
wickedly. "So it IS true! WAHAHAHAA! Oh, this is rich!"
Ooh! My wish is your command! Neat!
John turned around, grumbling. "Sod off, Mara."
"Oh, no!" said Mara gleefully. "We must SHARE and ENJOY
this moment! Say cheeeese!"
-click-
Mara walked away cackling wickedly, with camera in hand,
leaving John Constantine simmering at the bar.
She wagged her cigarette at the Lord of the Dance. "This
day just keeps on getting better."
"Are you really prepared t'spend the rest of your life as a
woman, Johnny?" asked the Lord of the Dance, genuinely
concerned.
John took a long chug of her guiness, sighed, then slumped
on the bar. "It's Gemma's life, y'see. She's... she's the
closest thing I'll ever have to a daugher of my own. I'll
do _anything_ to make sure her life's better than mine."
Y'know, having a daughter of your own has become a lot easier recently...
^_^
(Okay, only someone who was suicidal would say that to his/her face!)
The Lord of the Dance nodded solemly. "Yeah, I know how
that goes, Johnny."
"Lemme tell you," said John, digging into her pocket. "I
will NEVER let Gemma waste her life by getting her hands on
this stupid..."
She suddenly stood up and began digging furiously in her
pockets. "What the... where did I put the fucking thing?!
Shite!"
"John? You okay?"
"The stupid magic wand! Where'd I put it?! Where...
where... where..."
She paced around, trying to think of where she could have
lost it.
And then realization struck her.
The arguement.
argument
The hug.
"Hrhm."
"Besides," said the Lord of the Dance, with a twinkle in her
eye, "She's off to an interesting start already, eh?"
her eye?
When did the Lord become a Lady here?
They'd regret it. He'd show them.
He had the will.
He had the magic.
With his schemes and his dreams, Jon Konstyntin set out to
the wilderness of the world, to make his own destiny...
- t h e e n d -
Well, that was bloody brilliant! ^_^
Loved it! Right, then. Cheers!
Miko!
"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather a scornful tone, "it
means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean so many
different things."
"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master -- that's
all."
(Lewis Carroll, Through The Looking-Glass)
Nausicaa@sprynet.com Belldandy@angelic.com
Anime rpg at http://come.to/akane/
Fan Fiction at http://listen.to/bell/