---------------------------------
Rod M. & David Tai present...

        John Constantine:
        SAILOR HELLBLAZER

             part 6
           lost souls

A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production
---------------------------------


"S'all dark.  Looks like Gemma's asleep."

"Good.  Now follow me, and don't do anything stupid."

The door to John's townhouse opened slowly, and the duo of
John 'Wonder Woman' Constantine and Chas 'Cabbie' Chandler
snuck inside. 

"We're gettin' a hostage?" whispered Chas.

"Yeah," said John.  "Small white cat.  Scruffly little
bastard's around here somewhere, I can feel it." 

Through sheer bloody luck, John and Chas didn't stumble on
anything or knock any objects down.

They made it as far as the stairs.

Good Luck, at that point, ceased to be a factor.


- - -


Gemma yawned and sat up, sleep still evading her grasp.
As she rose from bed, she pulled at the blanket, which in
turn sent 'Bill' the cat rolling.

*thud*

-meow?-

"Oh, sorry about that, Bill."

The cat gave her a blank stare, then lazily strolled out the
door.

A moment later, there was a loud cat yowl and frenzied
yelling, followed by the sound of something falling down the
stairs.

"Bill, you stupid cat, what'd you do now?"

Gemma rose from bed, went to the hallway, then stared in
utter shock at the foot of the stairs.  There was Uncle
Chas, on the floor, his face buried in some girl's chest.

"Stupid bloody ca-WHOOPS!"

"CHAS!  Get yer hands offa me!"

"Ow!  Hold on, John!  It was an acc-"

"Uncle Chas?"

The two slowly looked up, both looking mortified and
sheepish.

"WHAT are you doing?!" yelled Gemma.

"S'not what it looks like!" said Chas, blushing badly and
getting up as fast as he could manage.  "I swear!" 

"You ought to be ASHAMED!  What would Geraldine think?
Uncle Chas, I'm sho... er..."

As she ranted on, Gemma kept on looking at the girl.  She
couldn't help it, as there just seemed to be _something_
about her that nagged on Gemma's mind.

A small voice in her head whispered the answer.  It was an
impossible answer, but as Gemma stared at the girl she
_knew_ it was true.

The short blond hair.

The rogue-esque look about her.

The cigarette in her mouth.  Silk cut brand.

The distinctive trenchcoat. 

"U-Uncle John?"

The girl grinned sheepishly.  "Aheh, hi princess.  You'll
_never_ believe what happened to me." 

"Hey, will you get off?  This hurts, you know." 

All three paused, then turned to stare at the cat that was
partially crushed under John's back.

"What?" asked the cat.  "Was it something I said?"

Gemma fainted.


- - -


"Well he's back," said Minako.  "Now what do we do?"

"Wait and see what he does next."

"Why are watching in our civvies?"

"I suspect," said Setsuna, "that Constantine would sense us
if we were." 

"Hey, you don't think he's gonna... y'know... do something
to his niece?  You know, the evil uncle thing and all that."

"Given his history with the girl, I don't think so."

"Oh."

The two continued to stare at the townhouse, hidden in the
shadows.  Setsuna was, as ever, serene.  Minako was going
crazy.

"Minako."

"Yeah?"

"Stop tapping your feet."

"Oh.  Sorry.  Hey, is it just me or does John kinda look
like Haruka?"

"Hm... they _do_ look somewhat related, don't they?"

At last, there was movement from the house.  John and Chas
left, with John carrying a small sack that seemed to be
wobbling about.

A small white cat head popped out.

"Minako, when was the last time you saw Artemis?"

"Not for a couple of days," said Minako. "You think...?"

"Let's go."


- - -


Chas should have been feeling fairly shakey about now, but
he wasn't.  A talking cat was fairly high up there in the
weirdness scale, but its impact was weakened greatly by
super-powered school girls, hellhounds, and a female John
Constantine.

It was still pretty bloody weird.

The cat poked its head out of the bag.  "Is this bag really
neccessary? Come on now, let me out!" 

"Shattup, scruffy," growled John, "Or I'll knock you one."

"Fine, fine," said the cat as it ducked back into the bag.
"No need to get touchy."

A cold breeze swept through the lawn.  Static energy tickled
John's skin.  Something was about to happen.  Something
magical.

"VENUS CRYSTAL POWER, MAKE UP!"

"PLUTO PLANET POWER, MAKE UP!"

John groaned.  "Oh bugger."

"Hey," said the cat as it popped its head out of the bag
again, "those girls look familiar."

"Back in, you!"  John shoved the cat back in the bag and
turned to face the two magical girls.  "Geddouta here, Chas.
I think I can handle it from here."

"Right then, see you later John.  Lemme know how it turns
out, eh?"

Chas left for his cab quickly, leaving John to face the two
approaching magical girls.

"Hold it right there, catnapper!" yelled Sailor Venus.

"Ow!  Hey, it's getting a bit uncomfortable in here!" yelled
Artemis. 

"Well well, just the girls I've been looking for," said John
smoothly.  Her whip materialized in her hand, which silently
began snaking around the bag.  "Back away now, else the cat
gets a Hell's Tentacle Up The Arse." 

"Artemis!" called Venus, "Are you okay!"

"Artemis?" replied a muffled voice in the bag.  "That name
certainly sounds familiar... is that my name?  I think it
is." 

"What do you want, Constantine?" asked Pluto calmly.

John inwardly bristled as Pluto spoke.  She reminded her
entirely too much of the Phantom Stranger.  Perhaps they
were related. 

"I want you two at Stonehenge before sunrise," said John. 
"Be seeing you.  HELL'S GATE!" 

A circle lined with mysterious symbols appeared under John's
feet, and before the two Sailor Senshi could react, John
sank into it and disappeared.

John's last words before disappearing faded into the wind...

"Well bugger me, it worked."


- - -


It was all some weird dream, thought Gemma.  She'd had that
nasty microwave dinner before going to sleep and it gave her
a weird dream.

Her uncle was not an aunt.

He, er, she, was not on the floor with Uncle Chas.

The cat did not talk.

Right.

With those thoughts firmly in place, Gemma made her way back
to the guest room just in time to see a shimmering portal
appear in the middle of the room.

Uncle... er... Aunt John appeared, holding a squirming bag.

"Hey princess, sorry about earlier.  Be a dear and hold this
bag for a bit?  Just need to hide the fleabag till things
cool down and I figure they'd never think of looking in
here.  Whatever you do, don't let it go.  Back in a bit! 
HELL'S GATE!" 

A portal appeared beneath John's feet, which she quickly
sank into.  John's last words faded and echoed as she
dissappeared.

"Worked again.  Frig, this is nice..." 

And then the cat popped its head out of the bag.

And it talked.

"Sorry, it's just getting too cramped in there.  Mind if I
stretch my legs a bit?"

And Gemma fainted.

Again.


- - -


Many hours later, traveling through the night, Pluto and
Venus arrived at Stonehenge.  At its center stood John
Constantine, while drawn all around him with some sort of
white powder were sigils, lines, and circles.

"Good," said John.  She glanced at the first rays of the
rising sun as it streaked across the stones.  "Just in
time." 

"Where's Artemis?" asked Venus.

"Cat's in the bag, so to speak," quipped John.  "And I know
where the bag is.  You get him back after you've helped me.
Trust me, the fleabag's unharmed."

"If anything happens to Artemis..."

"She's in you, isn't she," said Pluto.  "Jemma."

"Yes she is," replied John.  She snapped her fingers.  A
small flame lit at her fingertips, which she used to light
up the cigarette in her mouth. "Be glad you're dealing with
me instead, luv.  She _really_ doesn't like you.  But since
you're dealing with me, we'll take things one step at a
time.  Jemma here is looking for a little redemption, and
you ladies are going to help." 

"She killed over a million people," said Venus, "and she
destroyed an entire planet.  I've got plenty of reason not
to trust her."

"Ah, yes, the planet thing," said John casually.  "Might as
well straighten that out."  She went on to explain Jemma's
side of the tale.

There was a moment of silence.

"So she was responsible for Wiseman too," said Venus flatly.

Pluto sighed.  "Nemesis was always unlucky."

"Is there something I should know 'bout this Wiseman?" asked
John.

Pluto stepped forward and pulled John aside.  "Well, you
see, it's like this," she said, and then she began to
explain the events of the Black Moon Crisis of a thousand
years into the future. 

Venus couldn't hear entirely what Pluto was saying, but did
hear some of John's reactions:

   "Queen Serenity?  Not another bloody king'n queen
   system."

   "Well, I can see why they'd object.  Purged by some
   crystal thing?  Sounds more like mind control."

   "Wiseman?  As in... oh.  So that's what happened to the
   bastard, eh?  Well, look at it this way, Jemma kept'em
   outta your hair for about three thousand years, yeah?"

   "Almost destroyed the kingdom?  Oh, well, everything was
   fine in the end, right?"

John could feel Jemma's growing embarrasment and depression
with every word.  To destroy a planet was bad enough, to
have the side effects of it carry over through thousands of
years to the future wasn't helping. 

There was another moment of silence.

John spoke first.  "Let's... just try to make this a fresh
start, eh?  Look, Jemma was under a lot of pressure back
then.  I'm sure you noticed she wasn't exactly in the best
of shape when she came to you."  Pluto nodded.  "She knows
she made a mistake," continued John, "and she just wants to
make things right."

"So, what is it she wishes to do, and how are we involved?" 
asked Pluto. 

"Well, this circle," said John as she pointed to a a small
circle at the edge of the stones, "is for you.  And this
one's for your friend," said John, indicating another circle
at the opposite end of the stones.  "And what you two will
be doing is lending me a little energy for a trip."

Pluto shook her head.  "I will not allow time trav-"

"Ah, just a minute, who said anything about time travel?" 
asked John.  "You're a smart girl, Pluto.  Have a look at my
little drawings.  You tell me what I'm gonna do." 

Pluto examined the sigils, circles, and arcane symbols,
while always skeeping John in sight.  Finally, it dawned on
her.

"This is a gate to the asteroid belt."

"Smart girl."

"But... why?"

"Tell me, after Nemesis bit the big one, did anyone bother
examining what was left?"

"No, it was too hazzardous to.  Dark magic was running wild
amongst the asteroids, even until the fall of the Silver
Millenium."

"Well, you should have."

"And why is that?" asked Minako.


- - -


Gemma had always heard about the stuff her Uncle John was up
to, by way of rumor and whisper and word on the street.
She'd heard of him bringing down demons and exorcising
ghosts.  She'd heard that he even beat the Devil.

"Do you have any more tuna?"

A talking cat didn't seem to fit into the description.

"Right here."

"Ah. Thank you.  You've been a most gracious host, by the
way.  I only wish we'd have met under calmer circumstances." 

Gemma was sitting in John's living room, watching TV with a
talking cat.  This was many things:  weird, cool, and stupid
all came to mind.

"So you've got all your memory back yet?" asked Gemma.

"Most of it," said the cat.  "Still a bit fuzzy, especially
recent events, but for the most part yes."

"A magical cat, eh?"

"Mm-hm.  That's me."

"And you're normally in Japan?"

"I have lots of memories of sushi, yes."

"Why weren't you talking earlier?" asked Gemma

"Mostly because you had that bandage on my forehead.  It
covered up that crescent moon there, see?  When that happens
I'm reduced to being a rather normal cat."

"Ah, I see.  So... what were you doing 'round here?" 

"Something to do with a transformation rod.. I think I was
supposed to give you one."

"Transformation rod?"

Artemis nodded.  "Say... you ever watch that cartoon show
Sailor V?"

"Seen it a few times.  It's about that girl that transforms
into something Wonder Woman-like, yeah?" 

"Well, I suppose that's right."

"Why do you ask?" 

"Because you were supposed to become like Sailor V."

Gemma stared at Artemis.

"Nooo, no bloody way," she said in disbelief.

"You do know the cartoon is based on a real super-heroine,
yes?"

"Really?"

"Yes, though she's a regular of Tokyo these days, she did
spend a few months here."

"Really?" asked Gemma. 

"Oh, yes," said Artemis proudly.  "It was a few years back,
you might've caught it in the newspaers."

"I'm not the newspaper type.  Sorry."

"Oh."  This took some of the steam out of Artemis' momentum
and pride.  "Er, well, anyway, I recall it was a good stint
in London." 

"So I was supposed to be like that, was I?"

"Yes."

"With that bloody ridiculous short skirt?" asked Gemma with
a frown.

"Well, it's not as short as it seems..."

"And I'm to run about beating up nasties in the name of the
moon, the stars, and lots of love?" asked Gemma, her frown
deepening.

"Not in those exact words," said Artemis sheepishly.

"Why me?"

"Well, it's a long story," said Artemis.  "Do you believe in
reincarnation?"


- - -


A solitary speck of light appeared amongst the darkness
of the asteroid belt.  That light expanded, becoming a
circle, which in turn became a ring.  From within that ring,
John Constantine emerged.

She'd always wondered what space was like.  Breathtaking was
one word that came to mind.  Given that logically she
should've been dead, Pretty Bloody Scary came to mind as
well. 

"Right then, Jemma.  Let's do it."

John closed her eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath (not
for the sake of oxygen, but merely as a relaxation
technique), then held her arms out wide.

She began chanting in ancient tongues not spoken for
thousands of years, spells forgotten to all but a handfull
of beings on earth, and reached out with the magic.

Slowly, gradually, the entire ring of the asterioid belt
began to glow.  It was, at first, wrapped in a dingy purple
light.  After a while, the unpleasant aura faded away.  A
few seconds later, the asteroids were consumed with an eerie
aura of flickering white. 

"I'm sorry you waited so long," said John.  "Go on, you're
free."

A small point of light floated away from one of the
asteroids.  It floated in space for a moment, spinning
around in lazy circles, then dissappeared into the void.  
It was followed by one, then two, twenty, a hundred, a
thousand, a swarming sea of shining white souls that drifted
from the remains of Nemesis and into the darkness of
eternity. 

And at last, it was over.

'Thank you, Uncle.'

"My pleasure, princess.  C'mon, let's go home."


- - -


"A million souls trapped for thousands of years," said Pluto
sadly.  "Such a tragedy."

"Yeah, like the Titanic," said Venus.  "only worse.  You
think John'll be able to set them free?"

"If not John, then the part of Jemma that's within him.  And
if not her, perhaps Sailor Mars."  Pluto hesitated, looked
up to the sky, then smiled.  "She did it.  They're free."

Venus arched an eyebrow.   "How do you know?"

"I just do."

"Oh."

John Constantine, Sailor Hellblazer, emerged from the
shining portal at the heart of Stonehenge once more, in
_just_ the right angle to get totally blinded by the rising
sun.

"Ow, shite!  Bright!"

And then she was grabbed by the throat by Sailor Venus in a
not-so-friendly manner.

"Ack!"

"Artemis!  Now!"

"Right!  Ack!  Okay!"


- - -


"And so you're saying I was one of those Sailor Girlies?"
asked Gemma.

"Well, yes."

"Hm.  Do you remember how I was like back then?"

"Sorry, no.  My memory's still a bit fuzzy, and I don't
think I knew you personally either."

"Hm."

>From that point on, they killed some time watching the Dirk
Rigby show.

"Nice fellow, Dirk," said Artemis.  "I remember he
interviewed Sailor V once."

"Oh."

"You think they'll be back soon?" asked Gemma.

"I don't... er... hey, what's that?" asked Artemis

"What's what?"

"That big shimmering portal hovering in the air outside."

Gemma looked outside to see a shimmering disc floating
several meters above the lawn.  A moment later, three
figures fell ungracefully from it with a collection of
thuds.

-thud-  "Oof."

-thud-  "Ow!"

-thud-  "Bloody Fucking Hell!"

"Ah," said Gemma.  "They're back." 


- - -


A day later...

With no more mysteries to solve and no more adventure to be
found, Minako Aino went to a train station, again found
herself facing the wedding of Katerina and Alan.

No sense in putting things off, she thought, and after a day
of catching up on the sleep she'd missed, Minako caught the
first train out.  The wedding ceremony was to be held in a
country estate owned by an uncle of Alan's, a few miles away
from London with a good amount of trees and forests around.

Waiting for the train was something she wasn't looking
forward to, if only because of what laid ahead.

"So, are you ready?" asked Setsuna.

"As ready as I'll ever be," mumbled Minako.

"You'll be just fine," said Artemis.  "You're just nervous
because you haven't seen them in a long while."

"I agree with Artemis," said Pluto.  "You've nothing to
worry about."

Trains came and went, as did the passengers in a light
swarm.  Birdsong and idle chatter filled the morning air.

"So, you think the whole Nemesis thing is settled?" asked
Minako.

"Probably not," said Setsuna.  "Though Constantine says
Jemma has been silent since they returned from the asteroid
belt, it is no guarantee that things will be stable.  With
the Constantine family line, things rarely ever are.  I'll
be keeping an eye on him... ah... her from time to time." 

"Maybe we should've invited John over to Japan."

Setsuna arched an eyebrow.  "Why?"

"I dunno... maybe Ami or Rei woulda been able to figure
something out.  Maybe it'd help John get used to the idea of
being a Sailor Senshi."

"Can you imagine Constantine and Haruka in the same room?"

Minako thought about it.

"Oooh, they wouldn't get along at all."

Setsuna nodded.

"You know, I couldn't imagine how it'd be like, stuck as a
guy.  I wonder how well John's gonna take being stuck as a 
girl." 


- - -


This was not a good morning for John Constantine, Sailor
Hellblazer.

The first matter of business was a confrontation with Gemma.
John had never argued with her before, not like this.

"But Uncle John-"

"Ah-ah.  NO.  First of all, your mom would tear my balls off
if she knew I let you get into magic.  Second, -I- don't
want you getting into it."

"But-"

"Gemma, you don't understa-"

"No, Uncle John, YOU don't understand!  I'm a grown woman
now!  I can make these decisions for myself!  Besides, it's
my destiny-"

"Destiny?  Destiny's bullshit, and so's this Sailor Nemesis
nonsense!  You're NOT going to mess about with magic!"

"Oh, 'Do as I say, not as I do' then?!  That's not fair!"

"Do as I say 'cos I know what the hell I'm taking about!"

"But... but what about you, eh?  'Auntie' John?" 

John sighed and took a deep breath.  Arguing with Gemma like
this was something that hurt a lot.  She'd never done it
before, and hoped to never do it again.

"Don't you see, Gemma?" asked John sadly.  "I'm yer auntie
now BECAUSE of magic.  It seems all neat and keen when
you're on the outside, but once you're in it just takes so
much from you.  Magic's got a price, especially for us
Constantines.  I don't ever want you to know how much
that'll cost you."  Before Gemma could argue John held her
in a tight embrace.  "I just don't want you to get hurt,
princess.  You understand?"

Gemma nodded, embracing John as well.

"Now listen up," said John as she slowly let Gemma go.  "I'm
gonna be off traveling for a while.  There's some people I
know that know people and such, and I'm thinking maybe
they'll help me get back to being 'Uncle' John instead of
'Auntie' John."

"Okay, Uncle."

John grinned mischievously, though her eyes were still
somber. "Now, can I trust you to watch over the house? Eh? 
No wild bloody parties with toilet paper flyin'about,
right?" 

"'Course not, Auntie John.  Take care, eh?"

"Who, me?  Of course.  Right then."  John gave Gemma a kiss
on the forehead, then one more smile.  "G'bye, Gemma." 

And so John walked away, from her house, from Gemma, and
quite possibly from ever being a man again.

And the first thing John did was go somewhere with alcohol.
Right about now she felt the need to get rightly and truely
pissed.


-  e n d  p a r t  6  -





---------------------------------
Rod M. & David Tai present...

        John Constantine:
        SAILOR HELLBLAZER

            epilogue
       constantine forever

A 'Blame Mike Loader' Production
---------------------------------


     "If you choose Magic, you will never be able to return
      to the life you once lived. Your world may be more... 
      exciting... but it will also be more dangerous. Less
      reliable.  And once you begin to walk the path of
      Magic, you can never step off it."

                        - the Phantom Stranger
                          "The Books of Magic"



Ten years ago...

The sun set on another quiet day in a desolate suburb.  A
little girl, the only person in sight in the area, stood
atop a swing, rocking mindlessly back and forth.

Gemma Masters was not a happy girl.  Her childhood had
quickly sunken into a mundane and boring existence.  She had
few friends, since her parents tended to move around so
much.  

Her father was not much of a presence in her life.  He just
seemed to be... there. 

All mum ever did was tell her DON'T do this DON'T do that.

There had to be more to life than this.

There was, actually.

Her uncle John told her of far-off places she'd never see,
and brought back neat... things.  A toy crocodile from a
faraway tribe, a gemstone from a forgotten city, a frozen
teardrop of an angel (or so he claimed).

There was an amazing world out there, and it was out of her
reach.

At that moment, Gemma sealed her fate with a thought.

   I want it too.

   I want to see those other worlds.

   I want to see what nobody's ever seen.

   I want to be just like Uncle John.

   I want the magic.



- - -



Mordern day...


A drink.

John needed a drink, several drinks if possible, and in a
place where her appearance wouldn't be too weird.

There was only one pub he knew of that would fit the bill,
the place run by the Lord of the Dance.

With her spirits already low, John slouched through the
doorway and took a seat at the far end of the bar.

"Oi, pint'a Guiness here."

"Coming right up."  The barkeep finally turned around.  John
took one look, and was nearly speechless.

The Lord of the Dance was normally a stout fellow, tall,
muscular, with a manly beard and clothes that would somewhat
resemble that of viking furs.

The creature standing behind the bar had that same bearded
face, though now it was in an irritable scowl.  The rest of
him, however, was far from normal.  The first thing he
noticed was that the man was shirtless, and in these silly
black tights.  His body was now lean, thin, and rather
hairless, with bits of black and green body paint forming
patterns on either side of his belly. 

"Jesus, what the hell happened t'you?!" she blurted out.

The Lord of the Dance took a step back, surprised.  "Er, do
I know you, miss?"

"Take a friggin guess, mate," said John.  She lit a
cigarette and adjusted her trenchcoat.

"John?"

She nodded.

"And I thought I was having a bad time of it.  What happened
to you?"

"Long story.  What happened to YOU?"

The Lord of the Dance sighed.  "Reconfiguration, John.  It's
a right bitch sometimes."

John nodded.


- - -


Reconfiguration was what happened to the deities when the
beliefs of man changed over time.  The Norns and the
Yggdrasil were prime examples of configuration.  Once, long
ago, the Yggdrasil was a tree, and the three goddessess were
its gardeners.  Now, the Yggdrasil was a massive computer,
and the Norns were maintainers of the system.

Reconfiguration was known to do odd things to deities.
Cupid, for example, had gone from a dashing figure from
Roman myth to a sickeningly cute cherub with little wings.
His most recent change was the most ridiculous: a rotund
bearded gangsta weilding a machinegun which shot chocolate
bullets laced with love potion.  He was the 'Gangsta of
Luv'.

Reconfiguration was something to fear indeed.


- - -


"It's because of some bloody prancing wanker tourin' around
the world, John!" raged The Lord of the Dance.  He pulled
out a poster, featuring a young man, bare-chested, in black
tights, in a dramatic pose on a stage full of similarly clad
dancers.  The name of the show was "The Lord of the Dance".

"Oh, Jesus, THAT thing," said John.

"Yes, THIS thing," spat the Lord of the Dance.  "Thanks to
this Irish capering pansy tap-fairy, I'M LIKE THIS!"

John smirked and lit a cigarette.  "Well, mate, do not go
quietly into those black tights.  Rage, rage against the
wearing of the tights!"

The Lord of the Dance gave John a flat look.  "Veeery funny,
Constantine."

"Well, at least you still got yer balls," said John.

"Tightly squeezed as they may be in this silly outfit,"
muttered the Lord of the Dance.  "Now how about you, eh?"

John told him.

There was a moment of silence as the Lord of the Dance
absorbed this information.

"Sailor Hellblazer, eh?  Sounds kinda catchy, actually."

"I am NOT going about super-heroing, right?  No way."

"And y'know, as a girl, y'look quite interesting," said the
Lord of the Dance with a chuckle.

"Keep on that line of thought and I'll rip your balls off. 
I haven't changed THAT much." 

"Heh, so I guess."  The Lord of the Dance sat back and
polished a glass, as many a barkeep tended to do while
talking.  "I must say, John, perhaps you should've let Gemma
take the thing."

"No."

"I mean, you've not only taken a magic that was meant to be
hers, you've actually stolen a part of her.  That could have
bad side-effects, my friend.  Did you think about that?"

John sighed and thumped her head on the bar.  "Shit.  No.
All the more reason for me to try and sort this mess out as
soon as possible.  There HAS to be a way out of this without
spoiling Gemma's life with magic."

There was a tap on John's shoulder.  She turned around.

"Yeah?"

A demoness, blond and clad in black leather, grinned
wickedly.  "So it IS true!  WAHAHAHAA!  Oh, this is rich!"

John turned around, grumbling.  "Sod off, Mara."

"Oh, no!" said Mara gleefully.  "We must SHARE and ENJOY
this moment!  Say cheeeese!"

-click-

Mara walked away cackling wickedly, with camera in hand,
leaving John Constantine simmering at the bar. 

She wagged her cigarette at the Lord of the Dance.  "This
day just keeps on getting better." 

"Are you really prepared t'spend the rest of your life as a
woman, Johnny?" asked the Lord of the Dance, genuinely
concerned.

John took a long chug of her guiness, sighed, then slumped
on the bar.  "It's Gemma's life, y'see.  She's... she's the
closest thing I'll ever have to a daugher of my own.  I'll
do _anything_ to make sure her life's better than mine."

The Lord of the Dance nodded solemly.  "Yeah, I know how
that goes, Johnny."

"Lemme tell you," said John, digging into her pocket.  "I
will NEVER let Gemma waste her life by getting her hands on
this stupid..."

She suddenly stood up and began digging furiously in her
pockets.  "What the... where did I put the fucking thing?!
Shite!"

"John?  You okay?"

"The stupid magic wand!  Where'd I put it?!  Where...
where... where..."

She paced around, trying to think of where she could have
lost it.

And then realization struck her.

The arguement.

The hug.

"GEMMMMAAAAAAAAAA!"


- - -


She used to frequent this playground, back in the days when
she and her mother came to visit Uncle John.  It was a nice
park, back then, and even now.

It was always a quiet place, where she could think clearly.

Gemma looked at the magic wand in her hand nervously, biting
her lower lip.

She had a decision to make.

The rod felt comfortable in her hand, as if it was meant to
be there.  Then again, it WAS meant to be there.  A part of
her, born over two thousand years ago

She thought on the words of her uncle on the matter.  Once
you walk the path of magic, there's no turning back.

No turning back.

One more time, she held the rod before her.

She smiled.

"HELLFIRE POWER, MAKE UP!"


- - -


*BAMPF*

"What the... I'm..."  John checked himself briefly,
making sure that certain parts of his anatomy were gone, and
other parts had returned.  He laughed, slightly, in relief
that he was once again part of the human race that used
urinals.  "HA!  I'm a MAN!  Ha-HA! YES!  I'm a MAN!  A MAN!
A... a..."

And then he realized what it meant.

"Shit.  Damn.  Damn damn damn damn DAMN!"  He kicked a
barstool in frustration and slumped back down on his own
seat.

"John... what's going on?" asked the Lord of the Dance.

"It's won," he said sadly.  "The magic's won.  Another
generation tossing itself to the old Constantine curse."  He
covered his head with his hands and sighed.  "All this, and
her mom's gonna kill me."

"There now, John," said the Lord of the Dance.  He patted
John on the shoulder, trying to comfort the man.  "Look,
magic might've royally screwed your life, and the lives of
countless other Constantines, but surely there's an
exception or two?"

"There was Johanna Constantine... but she was one total
bitch."

"Y'know, Johnny, I'll wager that Gemma'll do all right.
Besides, the worst is in the past, right?  How can you top
blowing up a planet?"

"Hey, she's a Constantine," reminded John.  "If there's one
thing we can do, it's royally fuck up repeatedly."

"Look, John.  Take'er under your wing.  Teach the girl the
ropes, show her the scene, guide her.  If you leave her on
her own, she just might make the same mistakes you made, or
even worse.  Be there for her, man.  I think she'll need you
now more than ever."

"Hrhm."

"Besides," said the Lord of the Dance, with a twinkle in her
eye, "She's off to an interesting start already, eh?"

"Hm?  What do you mean?"

"Why, she's out-tricked the trickster."

John mulled that fact over, took another swig of Guiness,
then snorted.  And then he snickered.  And then he let loose
with laughter.

"Aheh, yeah, so she did.  Yeah."

The Lord of the Dance raised a glass filled with ale and
raised it up.  "Here then, John.  Let's have a toast, eh?"

"A toast?  To what?"

"To the future, friend.  To the future."

John nodded and raised his own glass.  "Right then.  To the
future."

"Cheers!"


- - -


A thousand years into the future...

He walked.

A tiny shining light in the night shone behind him, the
shining city that was Crystal Tokyo.

It was supposed to be a utopia.

It was a sham.

Oh, yes, Crystal Tokyo was a bloody nice city, with it's
nice people and its nice weather, and everyone with nice,
agreeable attitudes, and everyone bein' coddled so much they
didn't realize exactly how fragile their position in life
really was.

Without the protection of the Queen, they'd be helpless,
dead in hours.  Clueless sods.

A right and proper world should be where every man and woman
would be able to guide their own destiny, not be under the
shackles of a matriarch government.

They tossed him out for being a 'heretic', for being a
'disruptive element' disagreeing with the royal witch. 

They'd regret it.  He'd show them. 

He had the will.

He had the magic.

With his schemes and his dreams, Jon Konstyntin set out to
the wilderness of the world, to make his own destiny... 


-  t h e  e n d  -



next up:
writer's notes and the outtakes.