Addicted pt 3: the bet
     ranma no video
insert standard fanfic disclaimer of your choice here.
WARNING: There are Lime moments ahead. No actual descriptions of sexual
  acts occur, but they ARE referred to.
---------------------------------------

	Kasumi blinked and gasped. Akane held her hands over her eyes,
occasionally peeking a look, then shuddering. Nabiki looked a little pale
herself,
the "Ice Queen" facade having crumpled during the first few minutes. Ukyou
swore. Shampoo merely had a sick look on her face. Ranma fainted.

	They were, of course, watching a poorly edited and obviously
homemade videotape of events that were largely unremembered at least on a
conscious level. 

	"Aiyaaaaaa...no wonder great grandma-ma was telling me to use
ancient amazon extra-strength mouthwash...." <shudder>..."and brush and 
floss."

	"I can't believe that...I...he...we..." Ukyou began to swear, quietly, but
with all the attention to fine detail as a sailor from Kobe.

	"Damn...I knew I was limber, but..." Nabiki's voice trailed off and she
stared at the unconscious Ranma. She had a new appreciation for the finely
toned
body of a martial artist.

	"Oh my, oh my, oh my." Kasumi held one hand in front of her mouth,
and just stared. "Oh dear."

	Akane noticed that Ranma was escaping having to sit through this
by means of his faint. "PERVERT!" <WHAM!>

	Ranma woke up, glanced towards the television, and didn't blink for
several minutes. 

	Cologne popped her head into the room. "Oh, so you're finally 
watching that thing." She noted that absolutely no one had paid her any
attention,
and further, it was unlikely that anything short of WWIII would have caused
the
small group to notice anything besides the events on the tape.

	After another half hour, the tape finally ended. Cologne noted the
shell-shocked look several of them were manifesting.

	"Uhm, I'm sorry. I'm really, really, really, sorry." Ranma managed to say
though he was addressing a section of the floor.

	Kasumi, currently an interesting shade of scarlet, nodded absently.

	"Great grandma-ma, you know what happen yet?"

	"Yes, child. I have two bits of news for you all." Cologne waited a bit,
knowing that the scenes they had just viewed were going to put them back into
shock for a little bit.

	"News?" Nabiki finally got her mind out of neutral.

	"Yes. Tell me, child, any odd dreams lately? Cravings? Odd feelings or
sensations?"

	Nabiki nodded. She noticed everyone else was doing the same thing
and getting rather nervous looking as they did so.

	"The song, as you recall, was 'Addicted To Love.'" Cologne had never
heard the song before herself, but with a chorus like that what else would it
be
titled? She didn't listen to much music herself.

	"What music?"

	"Shampoo hear what sound like music playing at beginning of tape..."

	"Hmmm. Let me see it." Cologne inspected the tape as Ukyou brought
it over. "Interesting. This is a copy of a copy. Happosai apparently made the 
original, now someone else has gotten into the act and started their own 
distributorship."

	Nabiki made a little noise in the back of her throat as she caught a good
look at the labels. "Made in Hong Kong?"

	The little group looked at each other, knowing that tape pirates in areas
like Hong Kong usually made copies of 10,000 minimum. Adding international 
distributorship to the equation...

	Kasumi's usual air of ignoring everything unpleasant was gone. Of them 
all, she was the most shattered by the shame involved here. "How can I face 
anyone ever again?"

	"Kasumi," Ranma gently wiped a tear from her cheek. "Kasumi, be strong.
It wasn't your fault. We'll survive this..."

	"Sis," Nabiki hugged her sister briefly.

	"Well, it seems the second hand copies have some scenes cut." Cologne
sighed. "Before I go any further, please be seated and do not interrupt me. I
have a
lot of information to impart."

	Cologne waited until everyone had sat and quieted down. She nodded
once, they were strong and therefore worthy additions to the tribe.

	"You were drugged all right, and quite thoroughly. Happosai may have
done all this, though Mousse is certainly an accomplice. Those samples of the
dinner that you brought me, Nabiki, contained several drugs known to the
Amazons,
though Happosai may have learned of them during his long life without any 
involvement of the Nichieju.

	"Posthypnotic mushrooms, by themselves, would have worn off by now.
Stabilizer herbs make the timing a bit trickier. Powdered phoenix shell...now
we're
getting into some real problems. There is one more drug that may have been
used,
but I'm hoping it was not."

	"They haven't worn off..." Nabiki rubbed her forehead. She knew a
headache was arriving soon.

	"Not quite, child. While you likely aren't going to repeat the events
on the tape whenever someone snaps their fingers, you haven't left the
presence
of the others for very long have you? What's the most you've been seperated,
maybe six hours?"

	Everyone started thinking about that. Cologne wasn't nearly done
yet.

	"Then there were the other commands. Quite obviously these were
NOT the work of Mousse. No, I'd say Happosai used Mousse pretty thoroughly
in this little event, and sought revenge in this manner for any number of
slights.

	"By turning a profit on this whole sordid mess, he is thumbing his nose
at Nabiki. The public shame may not have been entirely his plan, as he had 
originally just sold the tapes to Furinkan students and apparently put a few
'freebies' out to people who knew you. The shame was his strike against Akane
and Ukyou. Having to share her husband is his blow against Shampoo. The
knife in Ranma's ribs is that people he cares about are hurt and will continue
to be hurt through his actions, however little control he might have had about
them at the time.

	"Or at least, that's how I see it."

	"Why me?" Kasumi had a quaver in her voice.

	"Mainly to hurt son-in-law, I think. You, of everyone else here,
have offered Ranma the least hurt. It will also devastate your father."
Cologne
watched them. They were not terribly receptive now, but some things could not
be put off any further. That she'd gotten this far off the subject indicated
how
upset she was herself. "In any case, that is not as important as this is."

	"Not important?" Ukyou squeaked.

	"There are some long term effects." Cologne shook her head. "The
other commands, which combined with the words of that damned song, are going
to take months to work out of your system even if I used Formula 113 shampoo
on
each of you."

	"<Great grandma-ma, they are amazons now. If it is as I suspect, they
deserve to know.>"

	"Yes child. The drug I alluded to earlier is one of our village secrets.
It's name would translate most literally as 'Constancy' or 'Faithfulness' in
Japanese.
It would be unthinkable for Mousse to use it, as it is well known that for a
male 
even to knowingly carry the material is an immediate death sentence.

	"Have you never wondered, son-in-law, about the laws? How an outsider
male defeating an amazon must be brought within the tribe? How would we
control
such males if they have already proven capable of defeating their wives in
combat?
Peer pressure, strength in numbers, yes, these and similar factors are the
ones most
employed. As you may now realize, such is not ALWAYS the case."

	"Why do I have a feeling this is going to be unpleasant?"

	Cologne nodded. "Happosai using the drug on Shampoo, even if he
merely placed it in and then had Mousse deliver it, has placed himself under
Edict.
He will be slain with no more ceremony than a rabid dog should he step
anywhere
near the village. The effect of 'Faithfulness' is simple. The wife has some,
then
has her husband fulfill his duties after a few hours for the drug to work its
way
through her system. The husband is then 'addicted' to the wife."

	"So Ranma's addicted to at least one of us," Akane narrowed her
gaze towards Ranma. If the tape had been accurate then...

	"No, child." Cologne sighed and shrugged while looking at Nabiki.
"The reason that it is so forbidden for a male to possess the drug is that it
works
the other way as well."

	"What's the cure?" Nabiki glared at Ranma, though she didn't seem to
be able to put any feeling in it. After all, he was in a bad situation
himself. Injuries
carried over when he switched forms so drugs would likely do so as well.

	A new voice came from the foyer. "Enough, Cologne. I haven't seen a
mess THIS screwed up since Pin Ya and Ko Lada went after the legendary Mambo
Jack. My goodness, that must have been about..."

	"It was in '38, Lilac." Cologne nodded. "Oh yes, the second Elder needed
to officiate at this little event has arrived."

	Lilac, a three foot tall, not nearly as gnarled or old as Cologne, amazon
stepped forward. In her hands was a staff identical to Cologne's. "My
goodness,
so this is the young boy who's caused all the fuss. My, my. I expected you to
be...
taller, sonny boy. With muscles rippling like some Japanese Adonis. I am SO
disappointed."

	"Urk." Ranma managed to get out that much, but it was obvious that
he had gone further and further into shock. Kasumi looked so completely out of
it that she'd probably not have noticed if Cologne were to announce her
upcoming
wedding to Mister Ed. 

	"My and such a charming conversationalist." Lilac looked over at 
Cologne and raised an eyebrow. "You know, Cologne, the tales of this boy doing
such martial arts manuevers and learning all those techniques didn't impress
me
nearly so much as that videotape. Any man that manages to satisfy five women,
even with frequent naps and an interesting pharmacology in him, has got some
qualities we DEFINITELY want to add to the amazons. I remember my Douglas..."

	"Don't start on that now," Cologne said with a scowl. 

	"You see," Lilac hobbled over to Kasumi and gave her a nudge and a
wink, "we don't always just need warriors added to the gene pool. Oh my, no."

	"Must you, Lilac?"

	"My Douglas, for example. Well, the village needed an outside expert
in some VERY delicate matters. So, back in '09, I sought out this dashing
young
fellow and deliberately lost to him in an 'accident' thereby bringing his
knowledge
to the Nichieju. Very valuable catch he turned out to be, eh, Cologne?"

	"What was he, a doctor? An engineer?" Kasumi licked her lips and
found herself watching Ranma. He was a strong warrior, which was something
they wanted now.

	"Oh heavens, no. My Douglas was VERY good with his hands, he was."
Lilac cackled, which caused Kasumi to blush.

	"He was a PLUMBER, all right." Cologne glared at Lilac. "We got 
someone who understood sewage systems, water purification, dam building, and
basic modern construction techniques. What we got out of all this was indoor
plumbing, simple water purification, and a small dam that supplies electricity
to
the village. Which merely proves that SOME people play fast and loose with the
rules, and if it benefits the village in the long run, then in the long run it
is 
overlooked. Which is the point my esteemed colleague is trying to make."

	Lilac smiled at Kasumi. "Come on, dear. I know you and your sister over
there aren't exactly top notch warriors. That doesn't mean you're defenseless,
does
it? Even if you decide not to lose in battle against the young man currently
twitching
over there, that doesn't mean you can't exercise some choices. The only choice
you
don't have right now, is the one to wait around."

	"There are suitors coming?" Cologne followed her question with an
ancient swearword peculiar to the amazons. It involved the male gender,
denoted
which head was being used to think with, and that said male wasn't
particularly good
with either of the two in any capacity. It also referred to something you make
french fries out of.

	"Oh yes, yes. I figure within three days the first two will get here. I may
be old, but I can travel pretty damn fast when I need to." Lilac shuddered.
"You
know the culprits, that monstrously obese child and his brother."

	"Sponge and Rag?" Shampoo seemed to flinch and shudder at the
same time, managing to look thoroughly revolted. "We hurry before they get
here. If they beat merc...Nabiki and Kasumi, it very bad. Would not even wish
that
on crazy psycho nutcase girl."

	"They're that bad?" Nabiki blinked at Lilac's nod.

	"They could NEVER get brides within the village. You've no doubt
heard that the village isn't very big, and the gene pool is therefore not that
large itself? Well those two are living proof."

	"So," Cologne looked at each of the women in turn. "Tomorrow we
schedule the match. You have until then to secure a more suitable candidate,
otherwise Ranma shall have to fight you with the others. Nabiki, we might be
able to postpone your fight for the remainder of your pregnancy, but those two
are not terribly clever and may endanger your child by some 'accident.' While 
such a crime would result in the two being punished, it would still be best to
remove yourself from their consideration."

	"DO try, Nabiki dear. I hear you're quite the businesswoman, and
not all battles are resolved in hand-to-hand combat, eh?" Lilac smiled for a 
moment. "And as for you, young lady, I've heard you've an inclination for the
healing arts, for cooking, and for space management. All quite valuable skills
even if it doesn't make you the front line fighter. I would hate to see either
of
you trapped into a marriage to those two utter wastes."

	"Tomorrow then, at noon, I think. To delay further involves further
risk." Cologne looked at the clock. Early evening. "Time to get busy. You can
go comfortably numb after you've resolved the problem."
----------------------------------
	just a rough version of Addicted III. as you can see there's a 
lot that can go wrong here. Just the thought of what Dr Tofu would do, when an
unmarked videocassette and a note to watch it arrived at least two days prior
to
the events here...

	is he even still in Nerima, or is he wandering around with a level of
depression that Ryouga would envy?