"Nemurenai" [I] Can't Sleep
An El Hazard shortfic written by Emily Siazon.
All characters are owned by Pioneer Entertainment.
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My eyelids feel heavy.

It feels like hours has passed before I could open my eyes, though 
It's probably more like a couple of seconds. I've noticed that it's 
been getting harder and harder to do that lately.

I stare at the white ceiling above me, tracing the patterns of the tiles 
like I've done on countless other sleepless nights. I can hear
Makoto's steady breath beside me, sending warm puffs of air to 
caress my cheek. I squirm a bit as his dark hair tickles my skin, and 
my hand unconsciously flexes in remembrance of its silky texture 
when I held it mere hours ago.

I want to get up, but it seems like too much trouble. Even shivering 
as a cool breeze caresses my clammy skin seems to take too much
effort.

I quickly grow restless, though, so I use my remaining energy to get 
off the bed.

The wooden floor is chilly while I walk across the room to the open
window; a sharp contrast to the sweat-soaked sheets I left behind.

I stand there for awhile, watching the empty, well-lit streets. It's the 
kind of scene that could catch my attention for hours, extraordinary
in it's simplicity.

Nothing like my memories of fire and death; people begging me to
let their family live. I encountered many with their spirits completely 
broken, their empty gazes haunting me in my dreams.

All because of me.

I can't help but jump as my musings are cut off when two tanned 
arms encircles my pale waist. Funny, I never heard him get out of 
bed.

I feel him nuzzling the back of my head, his arms tugging me back 
towards the mattress. I smile at his efforts but shake my head no. I'm 
too tired.

I can feel his concerned gaze without turning around. I know he's 
worried about my recent lack of energy.

It started about two weeks after my ten thousand years of waiting 
ended. It wasn't much at first. I would sometimes forget simple 
things, or feel fatigue after performing easy tasks. We didn't think 
much of it, convinced that I just needed to adjust to my new 
surroundings.

Then the weeks turned to months, and I began to hear every gear 
and bolt move inside of me, their staccato beat reminding me of a 
timer in a bomb waiting for it to explode. Sometimes, it would be so 
loud that I find myself on the ground curled up in a fetal position, my 
hand uselessly covering my ears.

Last week, my body refused to cooperate and get out of bed. I didn't
want to worry him, though, so I told him that I was just feeling lazy. 
But even lying has become too much of a chore. I now find myself 
simply shaking my head when he asks if I'm all right.

I yelp as he picks me up and lays me on the bed. I try my best to 
hear him over the mechanisms in my body when he begins to 
speak.

"What's wrong?"

I simply stare at him, knowing that he wouldn't really want to hear
what I thought.

I'm dying. Can't you see?

I know how much you wanted for us to be together.

I'm sorry.

His arms encircles my waist once again in an unconscious effort to 
protect me. I want to turn around so I could look at him and smile, 
but my eyelids have become. . . too. . . . hea. . .vy. . . .

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Author's Notes: I was planning on writing the plot for my other El
Hazard fic, but this is what came out instead(to those waiting for that
one, please don't kill me ^_^). All comments and criticisms will be
printed out, framed, and worshipped.