Ukyousama@aol.com wrote:

That creates and interesting side story in and of itself, one
I'd like to see... anyone ever consider sending even a normal
Ranmaverse Akane-chan through therapy to rid her (at least
to some extent) of her vioent streak?

Hmmm... with Ukyo saying this, a familiar expression involving cooking
vessels and the absence of light comes to mind.... :-P

But anyway, to answer your question, yes. See below:



"It never hurts to help!"
- Eek the Cat


PROLOGUE


        "YOU WHAT!?!"

        Akane and Ranma looked at their fathers in disbelief at such 
an outlandish suggestion.

        "We think it would be best for you two."  Soun cleared his 
throat as he continued.  "Since the moment Ranma arrived here, you two
have done nothing but fight and bicker among yourselves.  We have 
waited for over a year for you two to settle your differences and are
sad to say, we've seen very little improvement in your relationship."

        "But pop...!"  Ranma tried to reason with him.

        "No buts.  We've already called the doctor and made an 
appointment.  You two are expected at 7:00 p.m."

        "Dad!"  Akane growled with irritation.  "Ranma and I don't 
need...."

        "We think you do."  Soun cut her off.

        "I'm not going!"  Ranma said firmly.  "No way am I gonna sit
in a stupid doctor's office and have him tell me how to live my life!"

        "He's not going to tell you how to run your life and you WILL
be going.  Otherwise you can't go to see the new Jackie Chan movie."
Genma added with a warning.
        
        "Ha!  Just try and stop me old man!"  Ranma challenged.

        Genma rose to his feet, a look of anger on his face.  "You 
disrespect your father!  My friend Soun has given you and me free
shelter and food for all this time!  We owe him for his generosity and
you owe it to your fiancee to try and work out your differences!"

        "He is not my fiancee!"  Akane screamed back.

        "Damn right!  I don't want to work out anything with that 
tomboy!" Ranma said.

        "That goes double for me, pervert!"  Akane snapped back.

        Akane and Ranma start to leave when their fathers hugged them
around their ankles and began to sob.

        "P....please don't go....!!!"  Soun wailed.

        "W....We only want what's b....b...best for you two!!!"  Genma 
sniffled.  

        "Get off me!"  Ranma tried to pry his father loose.  Akane was
doing the same with Soun but not having very much success.

        "All right!"  Akane shouted in frustration.  "I'll go to see
this doctor of yours.  But just this once!"  she quickly added.

        Ranma whirled to face her.  "What?!  Akane, I don't want to...."

        "It's just for a little while Ranma, otherwise we'll have to
keep listening to them whine all night!"  She pointed at the two
whimpering fathers surrounding their legs.

        "Aw, man...."  Ranma had a bad feeling about this....

        
(Fade to Black) 


"MODERN THERAPY"

(A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic)

A combined effort by Megane 6.7 and Gary Kleppe

This is a work of Fiction.  All Characters and Landmarks are the 
property of Rumiko Takahashi, Shogakukan Video, Kitty Films, 
Viz Video, Shonen Sunday, and anyone else who legally owns the 
rights.  


DR. HANAWA'S OFFICE
7:03 P.M.

        The doctor drummed his fingers on the desk, wondering if
his 7:00 appointment was going to show up.  He carefully arranged 
several case files in order of name and then decided to review his 
current file again.

        It seemed like a straightforward case.  A boy and a girl 
forced into marriage by their parents and being sent to him so he could
hear their difficulties and try to help them work any problems out.

        The doctor rubbed his tired eyes.  He was a little sick of these
type of cases.  He wished he could deal with a REAL psychological 
challenge instead of these endless martial disputes.  He never 
approved of arranged marriages, especially since he had nearly been 
forced into one himself.  He thought love was better if it bloomed 
naturally, with no restrictions or rules to get in the way.

        Then there was a knock at the door.  "Come in."  The doctor
replied.

        The door opened and two teenagers, both of them girls, walked 
into the doctor's office; or rather, one girl with red hair bound into a
pigtail was being dragged in by the other girl, who had short black hair
and a look of anger on her face.

        "Uh....Can I help you ladies?"  The doctor offered.

        The short haired girl turned to him and bowed respectfully.  
"My name is Akane Tendo and this is my fiancee Ranma Saotome.  
We're here for an appointment."

        The doctor's eyebrows raised in surprise.  This was the couple 
he had been waiting for?  A lesbian arranged marriage?  That was a new
one.  "Did I hear you correctly?"  the doctor stuttered in disbelief.

        Akane started to speak again then looked over at Ranma-Chan 
and blushed.  "Oh! It's not what it....I mean....!"  Akane glanced at
the desk and saw a cup of tea.  "May I?" she inquired towards it.

        "Uh....sure."  Akane picked up the tea and without warning
splashed it over the red haired girl.  The doctor was about to protest
when he was shocked to see that the red haired girl had now changed into
a black haired boy.

        "H....How....."  The doctor stammered.

        "It's a long story."  Akane said as she took a chair in front of
his desk and sat down.  A moment later, the boy followed suit in another
chair.  "But it really doesn't have anything to do with our problem...."

        "Problem?  I would think turning from a girl into a boy would 
be a interesting, if not bizarre situation."  The doctor remarked.

        "No, I mean that's not why we're here."  Akane corrected him.

        "We're here because our parents forced us to be here."  Ranma 
stated bluntly.

        "I see."  The doctor leaned back against his chair.  "They sent
you two here then?"

        "They're very stubborn.  They want to see us together at all 
costs.  Regardless of how we feel about it,"  Akane said with mild 
irritation.

        "I see.  Well, how do you feel about it Ranma?"  the doctor 
asked the boy who once was a girl.

        "I don't FEEL anything.  I just want to go home!"  Ranma moaned.

        "Ranma!"  Akane glared at him.

        "No, that's all right Akane.  I want you both to feel you can
tell me anything.  Since you don't know me, I'm impartial,"  the 
doctor said.

        Ranma muttered something under his breath that caused 
Akane's face to flush and she turned to slap him across the face.

        "What was that Ranma!  Would you care to repeat that!!!"
Akane screamed at him.

        Now, now, please don't use your fists for violence!"  the
doctor admonished.  "If you want to express your anger through
violence then hit him with this."

        The doctor reached underneath his desk and pulled out two
foam rubber bats and handed one to both Ranma and Akane.

        "These don't hurt when you hit someone with them but will
allow you to release your frustrations until you realize it's pointless
and your anger will drain out of you."

        Ranma suddenly stood up straight and repeated,  "These bats 
won't hurt Akane."

        "Yes."

        "No matter how much I hit her with it?"

        "Yes."

        "What difference does it make, you hentai!"  Akane yelled at 
Ranma as she hit him over the head with the rubber bat.

        A strange smile came over Ranma's face as he suddenly stood
up and faced Akane, a wicked gleam in his eye.

        "Hehehehe...."

        Without warning Ranma whapped Akane across the face with the
foam bat.  Akane blinked in surprise but there was no sign of injury as 
the doctor promised.

        "Payback time!!!"  Ranma screamed as he began to pummel her
with the bat.....


PART TWO


        "GENMA SAOTOME! What have you done now?!"

        Genma did a quick estimation, and realized that there would be
no way to reach the koi pond quickly enough to avoid his wife. "Hello,
dear!"

        "Don't you 'Hello dear' me. You've arranged for our son to be
sent to counseling. Why wasn't I consulted? I am his mother, you know."

        "Tendo and I thought it would be best for all involved."

        "And where is the honor in depending upon outsiders? As the head
of clan Saotome, the responsibility to oversee the family's well-being
ought to be yours."

        "I *am* taking the responsibility. Delegation. That's the key to
successful leadership."

        Nodoka  just hmphed and gave a look of disapproval.

                                ********

        Mushoko, the receptionist, glanced up from her typing. A crowd
of people had gathered in the waiting area. "Can I help you? she asked
cheerfully.

        "Ran-chan... er, Ranma... is he in there?" one of them asked.

        Mushoko looked at her appointment log. "Why, yes, she is. Did
you want to make an appointment to see Dr. Hanawa?"

        "That's all right, sugar. Ran-chan, you're not going to be
forced to marry Akane against your will, whether you want to be or not."

        "Ranma! How dare you take Akane to a place like this!"

        "We all agreed. They no get away with this!"

        "Please sign in. The doctor will be with you shortly," Mushoko
said.

                                ********

        "Whattaya mean, 'pervert'?!" Ranma cried.

        The doctor spoke calmly. "Let's go with that question for a
moment, Akane. What behavior of Ranma's causes you to apply that word to
him? What is it that you'd like him to change?"

        "He's always jumping over other women!"

        "Hey, that's not fair!" Ranma shot back. "Anyway, why would
*you* care?"

        "I don't! But we *are* engaged! How do you think it makes me
look when my fiancee has another girl every time I turn around?"

        Doctor Hanawa turned to look directly at Akane. "Let's examine
what you said, Akane. What is it that you've seen that convinces you of
Ranma's infidelity. And are you being honest with yourself about the
scope of the problem? Is it really *every* time you turn around?"

        A voice was heard from behind the doctor. "Nihao, Ranma!" The
doctor spun in his chair to see a very shapely young woman sitting on
Ranma's lap, snuggled up to him in a tight embrace.

        "Get offa me, Shampoo!" Ranma yelled.

        Akane tossed her drinking water at the woman, who instantly
vanished, leaving behind only a cute pink pussycat. "Scat!" she yelled,
as she flung the cat out the door. It was heard hitting the far wall
with a thud.

        Mushoko's voice was heard from the reception area. "I'm sorry,
the veterinarian's office is on the second floor."

        Akane got up and refilled her water glass. Hanawa wondered how
in the world she had turned a woman into a cat with only a splash of
water. He decided he really didn't want to ask. After all, it was his
job to project an air of rationality.

        A voice was faintly heard from outside. "Your turn, sugar." 

        Something small and black flew into the room, landing next to
Akane. "P-chan!" she exclaimed happily.

        "What're you doing here, Porky?" Ranma said snidely. "Hey, Doc,
y'know how Akane accuses me of two-timing her? Check this out. This is
what she sleeps with."

        Akane folded her arms and hmphed. "Honestly, Ranma. Jealous of a
housepet?"

        P-chan stood on the table next to Hanawa. He gritted his teeth
and growled at Ranma. He backed up a bit as Ranma growled back at him.

        "Ranma, might you be making a false association here? You seem
to think of Akane's pet here as if he were your competition. Perhaps you
ought to re-examine your perception of her relationship with P-chan
versus hers with you. P-chan, after all, is not a human being."

        P-chan moved back farther, only to knock over the doctor's cup
of tea. The piglet dove off the table as the hot tea spilled onto him.

        Hanawa looked behind the couch to see a muscular young man, one
who wore a bandanna and nothing else.

        Akane looked up at that moment. "Oh, hello, Ryoga! What are you
doing here?"

        "Akane? Uh... " Ryoga struggled for an explanation as he
concealed his exposed body behind the couch. "I'm being treated by the
doctor here for... uh..."

        "Compulsive public nudity?" Ranma offered.

        "Uh, yeah. NO! Shut up, Ranma!"

        "*You* shut up! Stupid jerk!"

        "I've told you to be polite to Ryoga-kun!" Akane tossed her
water toward Ranma. "If you're not going to act like a gentleman, then
be a *lady*!" Ranma ducked, and the water flew over him to hit Ryoga.

        The doctor watched as Ryoga was instantly transformed into
looking exactly like P-chan. He wondered how in the world Akane could do
that. She herself seemed to not be paying attention, glaring instead at
Ranma.

        "Akane..." Hanawa returned as best he could to his calm,
detached manner. "That was meant for Ranma, wasn't it." Akane nodded
somewhat reluctantly. "I'm trying to help the two of you work out your
problems, but I need a little cooperation from the two of you. You
mustn't turn your fiancee into an animal."

        "Hey, like she could anyway. She has like ZERO sex appeal,"
Ranma said.

        Akane picked up the nearest object, which was one of the foam
bats, and struck Ranma over the head with it. Ranma picked up another
bat and retaliated.

        Hanawa sighed, as his two clients erupted into an all-out foam
battle. Why did he have to choose marriage counseling as a specialty? It
would have been easier to work with full-blown psychoses.

        New voices were heard from the reception area.

        "OHOHOHOHOHO!!!!! Where are you, Ranma darling?"

        "Akane Tendo! I come anon to free you from the foul influence of
the sorcerer Ranma Saotome!"

        The room erupted into general chaos. A boy in a kendo gi
attacked Ranma while attempting to embrace Akane. A girl in a leotard
did the reverse. Ranma and Akane seemed only interested in fending them
both off, switching to fists when the bats were found to be ineffective.
Hanawa just ducked out of the way.

        "Doctor?" Mushoko called from the reception desk. "Should they
be charged group rates for this?"

                                ********

        Ranma and Akane walked home through the darkened evening
streets.

        "What a nuthouse," Ranma said.

        "You said it. Imagine our fathers thinking that we need
psychological counseling. That's crazy."

        "Yeah, really. I don't think we got any problems that we can't
figure out ourselves."

        "Uh huh. All we need to do is stop doing the things that make us
mad at each other. I'll stop hitting you, and you stop insulting me."

        "Right, that'll work. Like I'd want to insult an uncute sexless
tomboy like you anyway."

        Akane picked up a convenient garbage can lid and hit Ranma over
the head with it.

        "Simple, really." Ranma continued walking.

        "No need to make a big deal out of it." Akane followed.

        "No need at all."

                                ********

        Akane and Ranma came into their home to the sounds of heated
discussion.

        "You have failed in your duties to me, both as husband and as
father of my son. What kind of man are you, Genma Saotome?"

        "You think you're easy to live with, Nodoka? You need to lighten
up. Why do you think I went on all those training sessions anyway?"

        "How dare you?! Irresponsible lazy oaf!"

        "Self-important shrew!"

        The two teenagers said nothing as Genma and Nodoka noticed them.
They just stared, unyielding in their gazes.

        It was payback time.


EPILOGUE

        "Good morning!" Mushoko said. "Can I help you?"

        "We're here for... marriage counseling," the forty-ish woman
reluctantly admitted.

        Behind her, a large panda pulled a sign seemingly out of nowhere
that read "We have an appointment."

        Mushoko crossed the name Saotome off her list. "The Doctor will
be with you shortly."


THE END


This concludes a joint collaboration and experiment between us. During
one of our Sunday meetings in the #fanfic room on IRC, we had come up
with the idea of one of us writing a chapter of a fanfic and then
sending it to the other to be finished. So Megane sent the first part of
this fanfic -- which had originally been abandoned -- to Gary, and he
finished it. We hope you enjoyed this story, and we encourage others to
try the same thing to see how it goes.  :)
Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics