<Snip Gary's C&C>

Aside from saying "ditto" to everything Gary brought up in his critique, the one thing that really stuck out to me was that in the opening scene, Akane got mad at Ranma for going through her drawers.  Ranma says he has a good explanation for his actions, but we never hear it (and I, for one am curious - what *was* he doing, going through her drawers?).  Then, later, he tells Ukyo that he and Akane fought, not because of him being in her room, but because Akane tried to make him breakfast.  And at this point, I'm confused.

If you're thinking about doing a re-write (which you should, since this story does have good potential), taking into account Gary's C&C, you might also want to take this discrepancy into consideration.

Ja ne,

Krista
(Writing from her work address, which will bounce any reply.  Email me at kperry@aros.net.)

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