Richard D. Lawson wrote:

From: David Homerick <dhomeric@jps.net>
Date: Tuesday, July 28, 1998 5:03 AM

In any case, keeping drugs in my spice cabinet won't accomplish
anything.  I take them up to my room.

Hehehehehehe.  I don't know if you meant this to be a joke, but I thought it
was funny.  :)

Not in the sense I think you took it.  She's not ready to get rid of them, but
she does want to keep them away from the food.

Tears fill my eyes.  No one will ever love me.  I almost wish I were
insane again, so I would not know this.  I press my face into the pillow
to muffle my sobs.

This part I'm not too sure of.  I mean, it seems out of place; it doesn't
flow from the story at all.  It's like you wrote Scene 13B: Kodachi feels
sorry for herself.  I'd rather this had some relation to the surrounding
story; perhaps Kodachi can think briefly on whether any of the men attacking
Akane would find *her* attractive, and proceed from there.

I'm iffy about this too.  I think the problem is the contrast with the previous
scene.  She was pretty unsure of herself earlier in the story, but she's been
focussed ever since the confrontation with Nabiki.  I'll expand the lead-in to
the scene and expand on her hurt when her brother doesn't trust her cooking.  As
is, she just comes off as miffed.

-- David