At 02:29 PM 7/27/98 GMT, you wrote:

	Blah blahblah All feedback welcomed and encouraged blah blah
On-list responses preferred blahblahblah previous chapters on website
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html

You like blahs don't you? :)  oh and why didn't you put blahs after your
website?

		     HEARTS AND MINDS PRELUDE THREE
		       KUNO KODACHI: THE CONTEST

		       Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
			     by Gary Kleppe

	The Kuno mansion stood on the outskirts of Nerima, as it had for
many generations. Building sections of widely varying size and shape
framed a lushly wooded central coutryard. The mansion was a reminder of

To Jason: the way lushly is used here is correct.  Lushly is an adverb,
modifying 'wooded'.

Japan's honorable samurai traditions; a monument to times gone by, or
perhaps merely an anachronism.

I've hated traditions all my life, I tend towards the latter.  Anyone who
tends to the former?

	Perhaps he should not have come here, he thought. Being in the
place posed the kind of danger that a drink did to a reformed alcoholic.

If that happened, then the alcoholic might not be as "reformed" as we would
like him to be.

	Kodachi leapt up onto a taller building, and looked down at the
passers-by on the street below. Many years ago, she had read a story
called "Flatland". It described a people who existed only in a flat,
two-dimensional universe. The people below reminded her of the ones in
that story. They walked along, confined to their two-dimensional
sidewalks and roads, while she was free to go where she wished.

Jason: That's only one way to look at her, as we all know.  The
confinements in our society exist for reasons, reasons that guarantee our
survival.

As for the paragraph itself, the comparison between our restrictiveness and
the one in Flatland is nothing short of remarkable.

	But it was not merely a matter of physical travel. Some called
Kuno Kodachi insane, but the truth was that she simply thought in
different ways than the Flatlanders, whose thinking was confined to
narrow, predictable paths.

But do those different ways of thinking help or hinder herself and everyone
around her?  Serial killers think in a different way than societal people.
Einstein thinks in a different way than most people, but he helps society,
not ruining it.

	It mattered not what tasks needed to be done; Kuno Kodachi, the
Black Rose, would complete them. She would get what she wanted, as she
always did, one way or another. All she had to do was to think along a
different dimension.

Oh, and what about Ranma?  You know, he's a person, albeit a not-so-smart
one. :)

	"Very well. And to the winner will belong darling Ranma!" Before

belong to.  And *darling Ranma*?

	Ms. Hinako stood in front of the classroom as she delivered the
day's English lesson. Akane sat in her seat, not hearing much of what
her teacher was saying -- something about conjugal verbs. The scene

Conjugal verbs?  (Conjugal also means marriage)  I don't think I've heard
of _conjugate_ verbs, much less conjugal verbs.

Oh, and you use Hinako as if it were a last name.  It isn't her last name.
(Something in the translation)

The students call her Hinako-sensei, but in English, they would actually
call her Miss Ninomiya.

	The child-like instructor glared at Akane, taking a coin from
her pocket. "Ms. Tendo, I've told this class what would happen to the
next person who made an outburst."

To Jason:  Yes, she drains battle auras.  But everyone gives off a battle
aura (I think when they're aggressive, it gets stronger).  Even fish :)
They don't have to attack her.  (The time Hinako tries to teach Akane to
swim, for example... she uses a lifesaver to drain onna-Ranma's battle
aura, and Ranma wasn't doing anything (but she was annoyed))

Gary: It doesn't matter.  She accidentally pulled a hundred-yen coin
instead :)

	"Yes ma'am." Hiroshi got out of his seat and set the box on the
teacher's desk. On his way back to his chair he whispered, "It's your
turn next, Sayuri."

Hey, at least the teacher wasn't actively pursuing the Kakes :)

Hiroshi Chapatsu.  Very interesting :)  And Hinako's character is well
handled (easily distracted in child form by child things, etc.)

				 ______

		Please send a check for four thousand yen at your 
	convenience. Affectionately yours, (signed) Tendo Nabiki.

Affectionately yours (provided you give money) is very Nabiki :)

wahine? We wen' had parent-teacher day t'ree months ago."

What's wahine?

	Akane entered the Tendo household after school. "I'm home!"
Ranma, sitting in the living room, looked up from his latest issue of
Shonen Sunday and waved hello. Genma-panda and Soun turned from their

I didn't know Ranma could even afford Shonen Sunday.

	"Yes!" Akane said to Kodachi. "I agree. And I'm NOT going to
lose."

Jason: Akane allowed herself to be provoked by Kodachi.  She'll have to
follow through and win.

	"What does that have to do with anything?" Akane asked angrily.
Maybe Kodachi *was* better built than she was. So what?

No, Akane, that's "washing-board" :(

	"It was to a cooking contest."

And the judge would be, well, Ranma, right? :)  Oh great.  Poisoned food
versus plain bad food :)

	"Hey, that's not dishonorable, it's just plain sensible." He
wondered if he could have handled it if it had been him. The thought of
losing at anything always made him a little crazy.

No.  He just shrugs off the fact that he lost and asks for a rematch :)

"Look, she can't just
go around doing stuff like this. We don't have to play by her rules."

	The next morning, Kasumi woke an hour before breakfast, as she
always did.

Since she *prepares* the breakfast, I would assume so. :)

Great.  First Ukyou, then Kasumi.  Whose life will you wreck next?  Ranma's?

	"Right! Three cups flour!" Akane quickly grabbed a cylindrical
box and poured its white powdery contents into a measuring cup. The box
was empty before the half-cup mark was reached. "There isn't enough! How
are we supposed to do this!?" She tapped the box bottom vigorously, as
if trying to get more out.

<snip>

	"AAARRRGH!! How am I supposed to do this?!?" Akane crushed the
now empty box in her fist.

To Jason: Maybe it's for emphasis.  Although I agree that Gary should
correct it.

Hilarious.  Absolutely hilarious.  I still don't know why.

	Akane swallowed a deep breath, then felt a bit less agitated.
"I'll try."

Do; or do not.  There is no try :)

had never left. "Let's practice, okay?"

<snip>

	"Let's practice, Ranma! HI-YAA!!"

I never liked that type transition, but oh well.

		In this duty, you have failed. Your daughter has been
	defeated several times this year in her martial gymnastics, and
	your son has not fared better at his kendo.

Jason: He was.  In fact, Ranma didn't knock him off the top.  Ranma hasn't
challenged him in Kendo.  Oh, and Konu-letter? :)

They have also been
	dating those who are far from suitable for their status, in
	terms of both status and appearance.

Kodachi tried to date someone other than Ranma?

	"Pathetic, boy!" Genma blocked Ranma's arm as it was about to
strike. "Concentrate! Your attacks have no power behind them! It's like
being hit by a little girl!"

I bet Genma says that even if Ranma hit like Ryouga.  Which is not a good
thing (or a good thing, depending on who you talk to :) )

	A sizeable crowd of students and neighborhood residents had
gathered, and was milling about while listening to the Principal.
Vendors sold various kinds of food from portable carts; Shampoo was one
of them, the only one whom Ranma was able to recognize. She gave him a
quick wave hello, which he returned.

Ucchan's didn't participate?  It would be *very* good sales, especially
since Ukyou needs it right now.

	Then she noticed the piece of paper next to Akane. Looking
closer, she saw that it had some sort of instructions on it. A written
recipe! That *cheater*!!

When was a written recipe cheating?  Kodachi's fault for not stating you
couldn't use them.

	Akane retreived a large bowl and some measuring cups from the
cupboard and set them down on the table in front of her. She took a
stick of butter, verifying twice that it was in fact butter and was the

Parkay.  The margarine that thinks it's...

	"Ranma, I've come here to tell you that I am declaring your
father's promise null and void. Your manhood is now in your own hands.
You will not be asked by me to commit seppuku, now or ever."

About *@#& time.

	"Ms. Hinako? You were the judge?" Ranma asked.

	"You bet!" Hinako started eating from the cookie plates. "I love
sweets. They're so yummy!"

So *that's* why Ms. Hinako is so hyperactive.  She gets sugar fixes every
day :)

	Kodachi exited silently. She was nearly sick to her stomach. The
moment she had just watched had been far more nauseatingly saccharine
than the cookies.

Wait.  I thought "saccharine" was a fake sugar.

	Now she had returned. In the intervening years, she'd acquired
some simply delightful little surprises.

That was a flashback?  Couldn't tell.

	She almost had to feel sorry for her dear brother. All those
years in training, and she still beat him as if he had been a novice.

Jason: Kuno may have strength and power, but Kendo's a pretty predictable
art.  
And who says Kodachi's stuff is *just* gymnastics?  (Still, Gary, that's
pretty hard to believe)  And besides, this is Kodachi's POV.  She knocked
him down when he wasn't thinking, and so she thinks she's won.




----------------------
Jonathan Ng
jonathan@worldy.com
alternate address: jonathan_ng@my-dejanews.com

     "It feels like ten kilos of life in a five-kilo box."  His voice
gained in strength and lightened in tone.  "I can only feel a trickle now,
like dust motes floating in a sunbeam, one by one, just moving through me,
but it's just so right there's no describing it.  It tickles a bit, feels
like a first kiss or the jolt you feel when the flux in sabacc just makes
your hand better than what you were already betting." - Two Jedi trainees
discussing the Force

	-Excerpt from I, Jedi, P.96, (c) Michael Stackpole