NEUTRAL GROUND 5: rough
Cat-astrophe At Furinkan   by Gregg Sharp
	"I'm on? Oh right. Ahem. My name is Tetsuo
Tsukiku and welcome to another episode of 'Neutral
Ground' one of the storylines in 'The Bet'. Uhm, am
I in this one? No? Oh, damn. Well, maybe if there's a
'Happi Days' sequel?
	"Eh-toh, Ranma 1/2 is tm Takahashi Rumiko, 
Viz, etc. Characters not used by permission, no profit 
being made, just typical fanfic stuff. Don't bring in
the lawyers as my spirit wards are only rated as up to
SPF (spiritual protection factor) three.
	"Previous chapters have shown that a simple
change of having the Tendos and Saotomes meet on Neutral
Ground has had far reaching consequence. Ryouga attacked
everyone at Jusenkyo for reasons to be revealed in this
very episode, with the result that Nabiki, Kasumi, and
Ranma all have Jusenkyo curses. Ryouga has just been
revealed to have fallen in the newly created 
Akanenichuan or 'Spring Of Drowned Uncute Tempramental 
Tomboy'...Ranma, were you the one who wrote these cue
cards? No, it was just a hunch."
-------------------------------------------
	"R-Ryouga?!" Ranma stared at the Akane standing
in front of him. "You?"

	"Akane" spat at him. "Do you understand the hell
I've been through because of you, Ranma? Because you
ran out on a man-to-man fight with me, I followed you
all the way to China!"

	"I waited three days, you lunkhead! The site
of our duel was the empty lot behind your house, how
long was I SUPPOSED to wait?"

	There was a muttering in the crowd. Half of them
were still dealing with the fact that Nabiki was now 
sporting cat ears and a tail and had gone running off
after announcing that this was an imposter Akane.

	"Then the real horror..." <SPLASH>

	Hot water dribbled down Ryouga as he shifted
back to his normal form. He glared up at Nabiki-neko.
"I'm trying to set a mood here!"

	"I always knew Akane was a real tomboy," stage
whispered one girl to another.

	"Ugh, you mean we've been trying to win the
heart of...that GUY?!" One of the bandaged Akane suitors
shuddered. "Eeeewwwwww." His sentiment was echoed all
over the schoolyard.

	"Uhm, excuse me, Ryouga? The real horror?"

	"Oh, thanks. Well, it all began..."

	"Aiyaaaaa! Shampoo! Look who here! It Bandana
Boy!"

	"Uh oh." Ryouga turned slowly, dreading what he
would see. "A-Amazons? Here?"

	"Bandana Boy here? Shampoo have to send word to
village." Shampoo hopped down from the fence, not 
deigning to notice the way the crowd of students parted
to give her a wide berth. "Shampoo know many amazons
want to meet Bandana Boy again."

	Rie Ga waved to Ranma. "Nihao, Ranma. Bandana
Boy here wander into amazon hot spring, get nosebleed
he look at many amazons who relaxing. He run through
many amazon building where men not supposed to go. He
run over amazon beehive, he very tough, he very strong."

	"He also knock out three amazon womans," Shampoo
nodded. "They all want to track him down, bring him back
to village. He transform there. Turn into husband!"

	"Eeep!" Ryouga's eyes got bigger. "Curse you
Ranma, this is all your fault!"

	"MY FAULT?" Ranma stared. "You crash a woman's
bath in Amazon Country and it's MY FAULT? So why did
you attack...oh, I get it. You saw I was with some 
girls and you thought I was in cahoots with the 
Amazons."

	"Don't deny it, Ranma! The proof is right 
there." Ryouga pointed at Shampoo and Rie Ga who were
discussing the fastest way to send a report back to the
Elders without either of them having to face Shampoo's
great-grandmama again.

	"Ryouga, you dummy. It ain't like that."

	Ryouga tried to find comfort in physical 
confrontation, this battle of words wasn't his schtick
at all. "It's past time for talk, Ranma, now DIE!"

	"I wonder," Hiroshi and Daisuke held their 
glasses of water up. Nodding they unleashed them.

	Ryouga transformed back into "Akane." Ranma
became a shorter, much more feminine version of himself
with longer pointed ears.

	"What'cha do that for?" Ranma-chan yelled, 
revealing cute little fangs. 

	"Ranmaaaaa," Ryouga charged towards Ranma.

	Ranma instinctively leapt over Ryouga and
watched, dumbfounded, as the lost boy continued running.

	"Rrrrowwrrrr," Nabiki-neko made an impressive
leap and ran after Ryouga.

	The crowd looked to Ranma-chan who was still
staring at where Ryouga had been a moment ago. "This
really sucks."

	"Uhm, Ranma," Hiroshi began.

	"Would you mind telling us what's going on?"

	Ranma sighed and motioned Shampoo and Rie Ga
closer. "As quickly as he gets lost, I'll never find
him anyway. All right, people, it's like this..."
--------------------------
	Akane wiped sweat away as Kasumi, no, Heisei
went to find some hot water to change back with. Akane
couldn't wait to show Ranma the new move she'd just
learned.

	"So you're back here, are you?" Ranma-chan 
landed, her dragonwings folding back and vanishing.

	"Ranma? Good, I'm going to show you up now
for not taking me seriously as a martial artist."

	Ranma-chan settled into a fight stance and
smiled. It was not a pleasant smile, cute little 
fangs or not. "You don't have to worry about that,
Ryouga. When I was explaining to the guys at school,
it all suddenly clicked together."

	"Talking crazy isn't going to get you out
of this beating, Ranma."

	"Don't worry," Ranma-chan's eyes went to slits. 
"I won't KILL you, Ryouga."

	"You're nuts." Akane stepped forward, flipped
back and began the flying circle kick that Heisei had
just shown her how to do.

	Ranma moved slightly, grabbing Akane's leg
and increasing the momentum dramatically. Akane found
herself quite literally flying across the yard, upside
down, and not nearly as in control as Heisei had been
when showing her the manuever.

	<THOOOM!> Akane realized that she was partially
imbedded in the compound wall, upside down, and looking
back at Ranma. "That....hurt..."

	"Dragonwing!" Ranma-chan unfurled her wings and
advanced at full speed towards Akane, fist first.

	Akane's eyes widened as she realized what was
about to happen. A little voice spoke up inside her 
head saying something about how it would be a really 
good idea to move right about now.

	Akane moved just enough that Ranma-chan went
through the indentation on the wall that she had just
made, turning it into an actual hole.

	"Ranma, I'm glad you're taking me seriously as
an opponent, but this is a bit much..."

	Ranma-chan appeared overhead, reminding Akane of
how a hawk would briefly appear to hover before making
a sudden dive to grab a mouse or other morsel for a 
quick kill. The sudden equation of herself to such prey
caused her pride to lock horns with her instinct for
self-preservation.

	"You've got to live, Ryouga, otherwise you
can't tell me what you've done with Akane." Ranma-chan
began her dive.

	"I'm NOT Ryouga!" Akane scrambled to get out
of the way. As Ranma-chan came closer she aimed a kick 
at the dragongirl. It connected, but now Ranma-chan had
her hands on Akane's extended leg.

	"You didn't think I figured it out, Ryouga?
That cute and sweet girl who offered to spar and
be friends on that mountain trail suddenly turns into
a violent tomboy ready to rip my head off all the time?"
Ranma-chan was lifting with her wings, hauling the
dangling Akane straight up.

	"When was I 'cute and sweet'?" Akane looked
down and realized how fast they were gaining altitude.
"Uh ohhhhhhhhh."

	"Yeah, and you're gonna tell me where the REAL
Akane is, or I'm letting you go when we get to airliner
level."

	"I _AM_ AKANE, YOU BONEHEAD!"

	"Uh-huh. Real convincing, Ryouga. You obviously
got away from Nabiki, but I'm not letting you get away
that easily THIS time."

	Akane looked down at the river underneath them
now, and the tiny little lines that were roads. "Ranma,
I think I really preferred it when you just dodged 
everything I threw at you, and you refused to hit me. Is
it too late to go back to that arrangement?"
	
	"Ryouga, if that cute, kind, friendly girl you
are impersonating is harmed in ANY way, I will 
personally make your hide into Nabiki's scratching 
post." Ranma-chan let go and began to glide away from 
her opponent. "Top floor. Last chance, Ryouga!"

	"AAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

	"Aiming for the ocean, Ryouga? Hey, you can't
get lost now, can you? Only one way to go."

	"AAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa."

	Ranma-chan sighed. This wasn't working. Stronger
measures were obviously called for. She knew she had to
rescue Akane, who knew what tortures she was going 
through while Ryouga was impersonating her?!

	Akane scrunched her eyes. She was going to hit
the water at terminal velocity, she couldn't swim and
she was sure they called it "terminal" for a reason.
------------------------------
	Ryouga glanced behind him and damn near went
into a panic, a rare moment for him. The girl chasing
after him was keeping pace without even breathing hard,
and making 30ft leaps. It was almost as if...

	She was playing with him. Cat and mouse. As if
she could easily catch him at any time, but was trying
to wear him down before moving in for the kill.

	Ryouga continued to run, but was now considering
the inevitable fight. He didn't hit women, normally. 
After what happened in that village of amazons he was
especially reluctant to hit any MORE women. 
	
	As soon as he found a tight area that would
restrict the cat-girl's speed, he'd turn and fight her.
He'd show her that Ryouga Hibiki, no matter the outside
form, was not someone to toy with.
------------------------
	"Oh my." Kasumi watched as a sopping wet Ranma
caused her dragonwings to vanish and dumped an equally
soaked Akane on the porch.

	"Kasumi, Ryouga's somehow taken Akane's form.
Can you get me some hot water?" Ranma sighed and looked
down where the gi was plastered against her chest. She
still didn't like turning into a girl, but had to admit
that this form had some serious advantages. Faster and
stronger than her uncursed form, able to fly and who 
knew what else. Maybe he ought to have Nabiki help him
figure it out, she could dig up some references on the
supposed abilities of dragons and he could see if any
of them carried over to his cursed form.

	Kasumi brought a cup of hot water. With herself,
Nabiki, AND Ranma all having curses, one of those little
hot water dispensers had become a necessity. Even if 
Nabiki had rigged them with a coin slot. Genma didn't 
really seem to care whether he was a panda or not
at any particular juncture, and so rarely used the 
device. Of course, it might have just been that he was
cheap.

	<SPLASH>. Akane jerked a little bit, opened her
eyes, and scooted AWAY from Ranma-chan. "Stay away from
me, don't come any closer..."

	"She didn't change," Ranma noted.

	"No." Kasumi said with a puzzled expression.

	"I'm Akane, really." Akane was watching Ranma
carefully. There was no anger there, only fear. She was
quite obviously hurt, but it was her pride that had 
taken the most severe beating. "I'm not Ryouga."

	"If you're Akane," Ranma began, not really 
wanting to consider the possibility that he'd made a 
mistake, "then what were we talking about on the trail?"

	"What?" Akane scooted a little further away. "I
don't remember, it wasn't important, we were just making
small talk!"

	"Ara...Ranma-kun," Kasumi interjected. "I 
think this really IS Akane."

	Ranma flinched as he saw the fear in the
young girl's eyes and hoped Kasumi was wrong.
---------------------------------
	Ryouga ran into the narrow alleyway,
then turned and made ready for the pursuing catgirl.
Since his little "adventure" in the amazon village, he
had become a lot more ready to hit girls.

	"C'mere, you little monster," Ryouga
taunted. It would be easier to fight her if he
thought of the catgirl as some sort of monster.
Never mind the flash of golden leg as she leapt
overhead, it didn't matter. Especially as he was
still in girl-form.

	A sound behind him caused Ryouga
to duck just as something went past him at high
speeds. The billowing grey skirt revealed itself
as a schooldress.

	Nabiki smiled. The mouse had turned
and was ready to fight. Judging from the hole
this "Akane" had made in the walkway, Nabiki
couldn't allow her opponent to get close enough
to grapple. The narrow alley with debris and
garbage underfoot would also make footing 
uncertain, particularly in her instinctual high
speed mode of combat.

	The mouse had chosen an excellent
place to make a stand.

	Nabiki hid and watched from a 
distance, feline instincts coming into play.
Cats can be quite patient, when they want to
be and when circumstances merit it.
-----------------------------------------
	Several hours later, Akane had
calmed down enough to be yelling and
threatening Ranma on a constant basis,
despite the other's attempt at apologies.

	Nabiki sat, shaking slightly, 
looking at her manicured hands and
wondering if, like Lady MacBeth, she'd
be able to look at her hands again 
without seeing blood there. Ryouga
had gotten away, but not without
Nabiki-neko's claw attack drawing
a fair amount of blood.

	Kasumi, humming what
Shampoo and Rie Ga recognized as
an old amazon love song, was 
cleaning up from dinner. That it had
a decidedly martial air was to be
expected.

	Rie Ga and Shampoo sat
on the roof, ignoring the boy who
sat on the other end, and discussed
quietly what a weird place the 
outside world was. They had finally
decided to send Cologne a postcard
telling the Elder of their discoveries
and that they'd be staying here for
sometime.

	Soun and Genma played
shogi and plotted how to get Heisei
to challenge Ranma. After all, if
Nabiki didn't work out, there was
always the chance Kasumi would.

	Ryouga, miles away
already, and carrying her backpack,
was really getting tired of this guy
with the candles strapped to his head
following her around. She reminded
herself she didn't beat on people 
who'd die just from the air pressure,
and this "Hikaru Gosunkugi" didn't
look like he could take much of a 
punch.

	Tatewaki Kuno stared at
the ceiling, where Sasuke had 
placed the three posters he'd 
requested. "Ah, Akane Tendo, so
proud and strong! Ah, Shampoo,
so swift and fierce! Ah, Tiger, so
young and energetic! I must have
them all!"

	Sasuke tried to ignore
the ranting and hysterical laughter
from the master, which was easier
with the full body cast in place.
It was truly not a thought worthy
of a loyal ninja like himself, but he
wondered if he could get Kodachi
to annoy the two amazons, and
what it would be like to have some
peace and quiet at the Kuno estate.
He supposed it would be...nice.

	Luna watched the evening
news, saw the blurry pictures of a
winged girl and a catgirl, and just
KNEW the Negaverse was at work
again. She'd have to convince Usagi
to gather the Sailor Senshi and 
investigate this.

	Ayaka Kisaragi saw the same
coverage and wondered if maybe she
could find another client. Hmmm. Nerima.
She hadn't been out that way for years.

	Yohko found her grandmother
ranting about how some pesky demons
were showing up in one of the suburbs.
Mamono Hunter Yohko hoped it wouldn't
make her late, she had a date in a few hours.

	Ataru Moroboshi saw the picture
of the catgirl and drooled. "Kawa-iiii." He
just had to meet her. Nerima? She was close,
therefore the gods had smiled on him!

	Ryu glanced at the monitor. Hmm.
This might make for an interesting fight, he'd
heard rumors of another sort of Street Fighter
circuit, composed of supernatural beings,
perhaps they would be sufficient challenge.	

	Sakura watched the television 
with a manic grin. Cool. The fight between
the girl and the dragon-girl looked like just
the sort of thing that would draw Ryu out.

	Jon Talbain exchanged a glance
with his companion, who was staring at the
picture on the tape. "I didn't know there were
other catgirls around."

	"I didn't either," Felicity said as
she continued to stare. "Do you suppose
they're Darkstalkers?"

	"I suppose we'll have to go to 
this Nerima and find out." Jon nodded.
"The other one looks different from 
Morrigan, but I suppose she COULD be
another succubus..."
-----------------------------
NEXT EPISODE: Neutral Ground 6/6
	Ranma fights, Nabiki makes
money, Akane gets mad, Kasumi gets
wet, and Shampoo and Rie Ga try to
fit in. It's the wrap up of Neutral Ground
(unless it wins "The Bet" of course.)
                  See you there.

"gomen ne, has anyone done a 
  You're Under Arrest/Patlabor fusion?"