"Are you sure you want to do this, Ranma?"

Ranma tried to sound gruff, but he just sighed.  "Yes, Akane, I'm sure.
Look, I thought about this last night.  I even got wet and thought
about it, then, if that's the case.  The guide said that the Spring of
Drowned Man was gone, right?  Trust me... this is the best way."

Soun put a hand on his shoulder.  "Son, this is no matter of simple
meditation.  We're talking about the possible creation of life.  All
life is sacred."

Genma nodded solemnly.  "He's right, boy.  You've got to use some form
of protection here."

"Huh?"  He hadn't seen his father since he left for the trip.  "What
kind of protection, Pop?"

"Foolish boy!"  Genma pulled out a square piece of foil, and handed it 
to his son.  "Lucky for you, dear old Dad's been thinking of every
precaution, and I think this is a good - "  *WHAP!*

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!"  Ranma held the packet between two fingers of
a shaky fist.  Akane didn't know what it was, but at a glance, she saw
the word "Trojans" on it, so she sat and just blushed.

"Protection!  Don't tell you want to risk having Akane preg-"  *WHAM!*

"Idiot," Ranma muttered, not-noticing the damage he would eventually
have to fix.  "That's what he gets for butting in without knowing
anything."

Soun looked unappeased.  "The fact remains, Ranma, that you have to
decide."

At that, the martial-arts wonder stared at the bottle in his hands and
wondered if he could handle having sincere competition.  It was disturbed
by two more hands holding his.

"It's okay, Ranma," Akane said, "whatever you decide."

"Akane..."  He didn't turn to face her at first, head bowed.  Then, he
looked in her eyes, and she knew.  "Just... just promise me, you'll treat
the both of us the same."

"Ranma, of course, I'll l- I'll treat you the same."  Akane squeezed his
clammy hands, "and if either or both of you are girls... we'll still be
friends..."

"You just had to say that, didn't you?"  he chided, but it was in a soft
voice.

"You two are getting along so well!"  Soun sobbed.

"Knock it off, Daaaad!"  You just killed the moment.

"Okay, then."  Ranma stood, uncorking the bottle.  Akane slid to her 
father's side, and they watched Ranma make the biggest mistake of his
lives.

***

"Saotome, you vile sorcerer!"

Ranma was just this side of irritable.  "What is it now, Kuno?"

"Nabiki Tendo has just informed me that you have -"

"What?  What did Nabiki tell you, huh?"  He rushed Kuno, causing the
older student to takes steps backward.  "That found a new and permanent
way of binding your pigtailed goddess?  That she's now mine, body and
soul?!"

You don't need to yell at him, his brain said.

Oh, yes I do, he thought, what if he catches -

"Oh-hoh-hoh-hoh-hoh!"  The rain of black rose petals announced the 
incoming aspirant.  "Ranma darling!"

Kodachi landed perfectly beside her brother.  "Is it true?  You have
gotten rid of that annoying pigtailed hussy?"

"Sister, do not cast aspersions on your betters in my midst, or else
I will have to still that insolent tongue of yours."

Ranma ignored Kuno's remark, looking sullen.  "I tried my best..."

I know you did.

At this point, a mysterious source of cold water was nearby.  By the
physical laws of Nerima (amended earlier in the summer of that year),
this water would splash onto Ranma, who was the closest Jusenkyo
victim.

Oh crap, they thought.

***

The Kunos stood dumbfounded.

"R-R-Ranma darling!"

"P-P-Pigtailed girl!"

She said, a hand on her hip, "now, do you know?"

He said, a hand on his hip, "d'ya understand?"

"..."

"I don't think they got it," she said.

He sighed.  "Yeah, me neither."

"Ranma!"

Akane ran up to them.  "Got doused, huh?"

She sneered, and up-turned her nose.  "Well, duh, Akane."

She took his arm, "well, let's get you to the infirmary -"

And thus, before lunch, Furinkan High knew that Ranma had now been
cursed, instead, by the Spring of Drowned Siamese Twins.

***

Brings a different swing to it, neh?

Switch
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