Hi,

Just my $0.02 here. As I said, it was a very well-written tale, but to
me it felt very much like you were forcing Ranma into a situation that
fit the story you were trying to tell. Maybe if we knew more details on
how the whole thing happened, it might help.

So, it's now said that a prequel would be nice to explain what happened
along the way.

There is a point here, namely Ranma's attitude and the way he acts.  At one
stage, he is acting macho especially during his katas, then other times he
is acting exactly 'like a girl'
You gave the impression that he was broken in in some parts of the fic, and
in others there is a distinct said way in that he still hasn't given up yet
...

Another issue is why didn't he go looking for a cure ?  Maybe you should
clear up this matter, in a prequel say :-).

Cheers,
Saran.

Always glad to help, that is if there is anything worthwhile for me...




-----Original Message-----
From: owner-ffml@ffml.fanfic.com [mailto:owner-ffml@ffml.fanfic.com]On
Behalf Of Gary Kleppe
Sent: Thursday, July 23, 1998 11:42 PM
To: Nick Leifker
Cc: ffml@fanfic.com
Subject: Re: [FFML] [fanfic][Ranma] Iris


While the writing here is extremely good, I'm afraid I have some serious
problems with believability. It's possible I'm misinterpreting things,
and please correct me if that's the case.

First of all, Ranma gets locked in cursed form, and as far as I can tell
everyone just seemed to accept that the curse would be permanent from
then on. Why? There's no indication that he or anyone else spent any
time at all looking for a way to reverse it.

Akane gives up on Ranma as a lover, and gets interested in Ryoga
instead. Why? Yes, it's true that if there's no way to restore Ranma's
manhood then they won't be able to have M-F sex; but the basis for their
relationship was never physical anyway (at least not in THAT sense of
the word). Now, if you want to argue that Akane picked Ryoga for some
other reason, I might buy it. Maybe. But why should Ranma's physical
condition make the difference? Akane fell in love with him, not his
body.

Akane starts treating onna-Ranma like "one of the girls." (The
impression I got from the story was that this transition happened fairly
quickly.) Why? She knows how much he hates being stuck as a female.
Wouldn't taking him on "Girls' nights out" be like rubbing salt in his
wounds? Don't you think she has more sense than that?

Ranma makes a suicide attempt. This, too, strikes me as highly
questionable. One of the central facets of Ranma's character (as *I* see
him, anyway) is that he hates to lose. The man simply does not accept
defeat. So wouldn't killing himself be the ultimate defeat?

Just my $0.02 here. As I said, it was a very well-written tale, but to
me it felt very much like you were forcing Ranma into a situation that
fit the story you were trying to tell. Maybe if we knew more details on
how the whole thing happened, it might help.


Gary Kleppe
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics