Subject: [FFML] [spoof chase] Slayers Chaos - Episode #4!
From: Twoflower
Date: 7/21/1998, 12:33 AM
To: fanfic@fanfic.com

                     SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
                 (http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
                            PRESENTS...

                         Slayers Chaos :
                            Episode 4

          ...in which we fly the unfriendly skies, Lina's
          strongest rival arrives on the scene, traps are
         planned and set and they lived happily ever after.

       A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne

     (Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
     obviously.  If I ever even considered claiming that these
     were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
     cell where I'd be forced to eat my own Tamagotchi to live.)

         --> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
             --> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--

-=-

    Morning came, as it usually did, shortly after dawn.  The Bigtop
Bigtop Casino and Hotel was open for business again, as it was every day,
every month, every year.
    Something felt different, though.
    The cries of delight and despair on the casino floor were more...
muted.  Less jackpots were hit, and less people lost their shirts.  The
odds of the games hadn't changed, but the chances of winning and losing
were more normal now.  Now it was just an ordinary casino, not the
extraordinarily surreal gambling locale for the rich elite it once was.
    "It's Luck," Myth explained, as the party exited stage left, after
raiding the staff kitchen for anything resembling food.  "Her Talents kept
this place swinging, and since she's sealed away right now for travel, the
enchantment's gone.  She didn't make it self sustaining."
    "Doesn't seem nearly as fun without the tiger and stuff," Gourry added.
    "It's kind of sad," Lina said.  "Except that I really don't care.  She
can revitalize the place when we get back.  SO!  Where are we going next?"
    Myth thought a moment.  "I think when I last saw him, he was living in
a giant castle over in Ky..."
    "Chai?" Gourry asked.
    "No, Ky.  It's a sharper sound."
    "Kai."
    "Sharper."
    "How's it spelled?" Gourry wondered.
    "K, Y."
    "Oh, you mean that stuff Aunt Belladonna used to have around when her
gentleman callers gave her backrubs!" Gourry said, clueing in.  "So.. we're
going to a country that makes jelly?"
    "Wait..." Lina said, realizing something.  "Ky, Ky... I've heard of
that-- AAA!  That's on the New World!"
    "Yes, that's the place," Myth said.
    Lina stamped her foot.  "It's THOUSANDS of miles away, across the ocean
and uncrossable mountains!  I've only ever seen it on a map.  We don't have
the money, time or patience to go that far by boat, coach, foot or
whatever!"
    "Maybe if we run really fast, it won't seem like as much time?" Gourry
suggested, trying to be helpful.
    Now it was Myth's turn to smile.
    "That's just because the Sub Ways aren't in use anymore," she said,
pleased with her contribution.  "I planned for this when we headed out to
find Luck.  There's a Ways not too far from here, just a few hour's hike."

                                   [-*-]

    Myth explained the Sub Ways as they traveled, through wholly
unremarkable forests, towards nothing in particular.  At least, nothing
obvious.
    "After the first.. well, technically the second Mazoku War, humans took
a big interest in magic," she explained.  "The Dragons and Mazoku had left
the world in shambles.  Something was needed to rebuild and defend
humanity.  Sure, there was white magic and black magic, but those were
prerecorded spells.  They were useful, but you could only do so much with
spells designed for offensive attacks and defensive utility.  So, a new
class of wizards rose, called Thaumatological Hackers.  Essentially, they
hacked apart the solid building blocks of magic, a thing unheard of.
    "These were the ones who dared to reshape the spells to do new things.
One managed to channel the Dragon Slave into a single beam of darkness that
could slice through anything for miles.  Another used a customized
Restoration, specifically for repairing objects back to their original
created state.  Some used white magic's healing to distort human flesh,
trying to create new super humans...
    "The hackers weren't usually well liked by society.  They went outside
defined lines, and did wholly dangerous things.  When a village in Sailoon
was leveled in an experiment, hacker-wizards were banned from the country.
They lifted the ban later to commission an Oracle Mirror from the legendary
Silverquick, a noted hacker of magic, eventually leading to a full repeal.
    "Silverquick was notable, but none were more popular, powerful or
misunderstood than the commonly acknowledged master hacker.   The one above
all.  His real identity, his real person, these aren't things that exist
anymore.  Only the stories -- lost stories, occasionally incorrect stories
-- remain to keep Merlin Giga alive."
    "Giga?" Lina asked.  "Wait.  You mean... Giga Lores, Giga Slave... the
prophecy and everything else?"
    "I'm afraid I don't know much about the Giga Lores," Myth admitted.
"Those seem to have surfaced after Giga's death, and nobody fully
understood what they were.  But when an accident with the Giga Slave
eradicated an entire nation, all teachings of Giga were banned, and his
spells were lost in a haze of misinformation.  Nowadays, few people even
know that they exist.  After that, with Giga's influence on the society of
wizard craftsmen gone, the hacker paradigm collapsed, and the era was over.
    "But before that mess, before Giga's disappearance, he was a master
sorcerer.  He did things with magic that nobody knew possible, and he did
not part with his knowledge; instead, he hoarded it, using it for great
public works and utilities, but never explaining the mechanics of what he
did.  He's responsible for nearly half of the ancient artifacts of power
that turn up from time to time from the Golden Era of Hackers, including
the Sub Ways.  Ah, we're here.  Hold on, I'll let us in, then continue..."
    Myth started to fish in her pack for something, hand hunting through
the crumpled paper, spare pens and books.
    Coming to a full and complete stop, Lina looked at her surroundings.
    Trees.
    Grass.
    Acorns.
    Chipmunks.
    Rocks.
    "I'm not impressed yet," Lina said.  "In fact, I don't see anything
other than forest as far as the eye can see.  What's the big deal?"
    "You don't see it?" Myth asked, pausing.  "Look at the rocks."
    Lina studied the rocks.  Okay, there were a few lying around, almost
hemispheres.  But they didn't seem to... okay, they were arranged in two
groups of four, in a rough pair of brackets around an empty spot of land.
But...
    "Hey, I know what this is!" Gourry said, with a flash.  "It's a stone
circle!  The fortune teller who lived down the road said there was one in
the middle of town where ancient druids known as the C'oh Mutors worshipped
patience.  They also sacrificed virgins."
    "Ummm... not really," Myth said.  "I mean, they were commuters and they
did have to wait their turn to use the Ways, but virgins?"
    "Any story of ancient power gets a zest of intrigue when you toss in a
human sacrifice," Lina said.  "You know, blood, needless waste, that sort
of thing."
    "Ohh... good point," Myth recognized.  With a smile, she withdrew a
small golden coin, and showed it off.  "Look, and behold!!"
    Lina squinted to read the dinky writing.  'Fare', it said.
    "So?" she asked.
    "So?" Myth repeated, confused.  "It's a Sub Way Token.  With this, you
can open the Ways, and ride them.  Of course, it's only good for one trip
and vanishes when you open the gate, so I had Luck enchant mine a long time
ago to work over and over... illegal, but anybody who cared is dead now,
so..."
    Tracing an S in the air with the coin's edge with a dramatic flick of
her wrist, Myth stepped back, and waited.
    Nothing happened.
    "For a long lost magic, this really isn't very exciting," Lina
commented.
    Myth traced the S a few more times, puzzled.  "Ehheh... well, it's been
a long time, and nobody's maintained them in centuries-- Ah!"
    The S scratched itself into thin air, a glowing purple line that hung
in space, emitting sparks of old magical malfunction.  But nevertheless,
the letter did expand, becoming a circular gateway; bursting with light,
then showing a dark interior.
    "Is this safe?" Lina asked.
    "Of COURSE it's safe!" Myth smiled.  "What could possibly go wrong?"

                                   [-*-]

    ...thousands of miles away, an ear twitched.
    Already well on his way to Ky, Bugger felt The Question asked.  He
glanced over at his traveling companion, who looked considerably better in
flight, great white wings flapping slowly in the winds over the circle
sea.  He just looked like a human cannon ball.
    "What is it?" Angela asked, noticing the strange look.
    "Seems our little bardlet's gone and challenged me," Bugger grinned.
"'ang on, I'll be right back."
    The Mazoku winked out of existence, a brief moment, before returning.
He looked concerned.  He didn't look concerned before.  It was concerning.
    "What now?" Angela asked.
    "I buggered 'er up, no problem, but..." he said, thinking of how best
to break the news.  "We're wasting our time flying.  You're never going to
believe what I found tucked away where nobody would look."
    "Don't tell me," Angela sighed.  "The wingless has led them to some
long lost toy of human design."
    "The Ways," Bugger grumbled.  "Bleeding things caused us a lot of
headaches way back when.  They're going to arrive before we do.  I can only
pop around when challenged, so we can't go back and use 'em..."
    The Dragon tapped her chin, posing in thought as she flew.  "The humans
rediscovering their dangerous toys.  The wingless arising, their bizarre
Talents beyond our magic.  This is not boding well."
    "We'll get 'em, missy," Bugger said, clenching a dirty fist.  "One way
or another, we'll get the mortal bastards.  This is OUR world, and our
war.  Humans was just apes gone smart."

                                   [-*-]

    The Ways were dim.
    Myth walked around, flicking tiny green globes with her fingers, trying
to bring them back to life.  A few did, casting an eerie green light around
the chamber, but not nearly as much as the original designer had intended.
    Still, it was enough to soak in the ambiance of magical power.  The
chamber was a marvel of efficiency.  Is making a sign to put those words on
and a stand to hold up the sign too much trouble?  Write the words on the
air.  Can't light them just right?  They can glow.  Who needs walls?  Let
them gaze into an unending void, and put up some metal rails to prevent
them from walking into it; and who needs to hold the rails up?  Put them in
their place magically, and they'll be solid as the mountains.
    The circular chamber, domed by a hemisphere of green globe lamps, was
organized around a central platform, capable of fitting a medium sized
coach or a group of people for transport.  Strange looking chairs were
placed at each corner of... of the circle, good for people who wanted to
ride in style.  Controls were nearby, highlighting possible destinations.
You rode until you chose to return to the waking world.  That was the Way.
All aboard.
    A simple, purple-lit sign read SAILOON STATION, greeting them as they
entered.
    "Okay.  NOW I am impressed," Lina said, glancing around.
    "It's really colorful..." Gourry said, poking at a green light.  It
floated a little, but wobbled back into place right away.  "How old is this
place?"
    "Centuries," Myth said simply.
    "You had some problems getting in," Lina observed, facing Myth, who was
busy fiddling with the controls of the transporter.  "Are you sure this
stuff is going to work?"
    "Merlin Giga built them well.  They should hold for another thousand
years," Myth explained.  "My token's probably the thing losing power.  The
Sub Ways were key to helping mankind grow and expand in the era of hacker
magic.  Without it, chances are people wouldn't have recovered from the
war.... with travel around the world too difficult by ship or road to allow
global commerce and communication, humanity was moving slow.  Too slow,
Merlin Giga thought, and with the agreement of many nations, he set about
to create a network of magical gateways, that within a short number of
stops, could get you to the major cities of the time... oh, good, a map."
    Myth gestured to a large design, which Lina had first assumed to be
some kind of abstract art; but the shapes were recognizable.
            [World Map : http://pixelscapes.com/slayers/map.gif]
    "Whoa!  This thing covers the whole WORLD?" Lina asked.  "Most people
don't even get off their home continent..."
    "Time were different once," Myth said.  "When the era ended, your
northeastern continent locked itself off from the world with a barrier.
You guys destroyed the barrier by accident some years ago, right?  I
remember writing about it in 'Lina Inverse and the Bible Quest.'"
    Gourry's jaw dropped.  He stabbed a finger at the map, poking the
little purple light marking Testabourne.  "Holy cow, that's the city I grew
up in!  So the stone circle there is really one of these gateway things?"
    "You're catching on fast," Lina remarked.
    "It's not that hard to understand," Gourry said proudly.  "I just
wonder how those virgin sacrificing druids managed to make all this.  I
guess they were really patient."
    "Gourry!!  The druids didn't.... no.  I'm not even bothering this
time," Lina said aloud.  "Okay.  Enough chit chat.  It's neat and powerful
and cool yadda yadda, now how do we get to Ky and bag the second wingless?"
    "Umm..." Myth said, tracing a path with her finger.  "We're at
Sailoon's gate now... we'll link up to Zefielia--"
    "MY home country has a gate?" Lina gasped.  "Cooool!  I can track down
mom and dad when we're done the quest and let them know how amazingly
successful and famous I am!"
    "Oh, I'm sure they've heard about the cities you've destroyed by now,"
Gourry commented.
    Myth continued, while Lina tried to pull Gourry's ears off.  "Uh.. um.
At any rate.. we pass through Zefielia, into Nahao which doesn't
technically exist any more as a nation, but that's okay since the Way
Station is still there, and link finally over the mountains and into Ky."
    "Great plan," Lina said, letting Gourry's torture drop for the time
being.  "How long will the trip take?"
    "Three stops, soo... with astral drag and transmission allotment, it'd
beeee... nearly instantaneous," Myth said.
    Lina grinned, and hopped onto the platform, having a seat in one of the
comfy chairs.  She pulled an in-flight magazine she had noticed in a side
pocket out, and flipped through it.  "Hey, this issue is four hundred years
old!  What a gyp."
    Gourry was glancing at his, too.  "'In the event of transspatial
dislocation sickness, put your head between your legs and chant, There's No
Place Like Home...'"
    Entering final destination information into the panel, Myth assumed her
seat too.  "All set.  You guys MAY feel a bit... out of sorts, but that's
normal.  Don't worry."
    "Out of sorts how?" Lina asked--
    --STREEEEEEEEEETCCHCHHHHHHHIHIIIIIINNGGNGNGGGGGG across a span of
reality not meant to be pulled through like taffy in a puller as she was
simultaneously in two places at once and felt the impossibility of it all--

                                   [-*-]

    ...thousands of miles away, an ear twitched.
    Paradox, sitting in his workroom of time and space (for these were like
mixing chemicals to him, and he would experiment from time to time to
develop better means of control) thought he heard an ancient tearing at the
fabric of dimensions.  A call that annoyed the hell out of him at one time,
when it was popular to use the Sub Ways for travel, which he always meant
to shut down for offending his sensibilities but never got around to--
    Someone was using the Sub Ways again!
    NOBODY knew about the Sub Ways anymore.  Nobody except the wingless,
who had exceptional memory.  Even the Mazoku and Dragons didn't use them,
since such toys were beneath them as human creations.  (Plus none of them
had a token, since non-humans couldn't buy them, which was more likely the
real reason.)  That meant...
    "She's moving fast," Paradox muttered.
    A voice behind him cleared his throat.  "And who might that be?"
Xelloss asked, from his glass prison.
    "None of your business," Paradox passed off.  He'd have to report
this.  His partner would want to know.

                                   [-*-]

    --and pulled and pulled until the pulling stopped.
    Lina jerked to a halt, sweating and generally a surprised mess.
    "WOW!  That was fun!" Gourry said.  "Hey, can we do that again
sometime?"
    "Did we even go anywhere?" Lina asked, glancing around.  The station
seemed exactly the same!  Except...
    A simple, purple-lit sign read KY STATION, greeting them.
    "Yep, we're here," Lina said, hopping to her feet.  "Okay, Myth.  Now,
where does.... Myth?"
    Lina looked at the chair that once held Myth.  All that was there now
was a handful of dirt, scratchy and brown.  Smelly.
    The two leaned in close, examining the pile of topsoil.  Sinking
feelings abounded.
    "Where'd she go?" Gourry asked.
    "Something's wrong," Lina said.  "Maybe the Ways got screwed up, and
sent her to the wrong place... or maybe... she could be dead, Gourry.
Magical travel has some real drawbacks when it goes wonky."
    "But.. but she was such a nice person," Gourry said.  "Nice people
don't die in stupid ways.  They die in good ways.  I mean, they SHOULD...
no.  She can't be gone, simple as that.  Can't you do something?"
    "I've got absolutely no idea how to use this machine, Gourry," Lina
said.
    "You've got to be able to do something.  You're a sorceress," Gourry
said.  "You can make fire and throw ice and bring back the dead and stuff.
It's all magic, right?"
    "I know.. spells," Lina said.  "Sometimes I can make a little spell up,
but..."
    "Isn't that the same?"
    Lina shook her head.
    That was why that era had all these fantastic inventions.  People
swerved outside the safe and easy spells, to make new, wild magic.  Stuff
that took a sharp left turn from the known.  In a rush, Lina felt...
incapable.  What did she know?  She knew the basics of funneling power, she
knew the cookbook recipes to make fire and ice and bring back the dead...
what else?  She could improvise a little.  Just a little.  That was all
most sorcerers knew.  What use was she here, facing something that
supposedly was magic, but worked in a way totally alien to her?
    No.  Panicking and worrying wouldn't solve this.  Lina thought better
instead of harder.
    How did those wizards of the era deal with things they didn't
understand?  Everybody gets in on the bottom rung in magic, no matter what
kind of magic.  When dealing with unknowns, you experiment.  With a little
luck and a lot of wits and a spot of cleverness, the knowledge unfolds for
you... or all that's left of you is a pair of smoking boots, but that's
just the nature of the game.
    "Might as well try," Lina concluded.  She poked the nearest light on
the control panel, and a list of functions popped up.
    Gourry peeked over her shoulder, to see what was going on.  "So you can
bring her back?"
    "You've got me," Lina said, browsing the menu.  "But even a hacker has
to start somewhere... maybe I can rig this thing to pull her out.  She
saved our bacon back at the Bigtop Bigtop, the least we can do is return
the favor."

                                   [-*-]

    Asleep, but not sleeping.  Dreaming awake.  Floating in a limbo of her
own design...
    Myth wasn't fully aware of where she was, or who she was.  She felt
disconnected, off in.. her mind?  Another world?  Lost, regardless of
where.  How did she get here?
    Chuckling, sharp and crystal clear, echoed in her ears.
    "Hello?" Myth said, or at least thought she said.  "Where am I?"
    "You don't know?" a voice dripped, black oil on dirt.  "Amazing.  It's
been long, I admit, but not THAT long, Myth..."
    Shivers ran up Myth's spine, far worse than them running down her
spine.  Up meant it went straight to her brain.  "I know you..."
    "I wonder how it is you got here?  An accident, perhaps?  How niiice,"
the voice said, smiling with waves of teeth.  "I'm coming for your little
friends, you know.  I have plans.  Paradox already has the way prepared.
I'm so happy you could join me this soon.  Now I can take care of that
loose end, right here and now..."
    Myth wasn't sure exactly who started screaming, but she felt it
might've been herself.

                                   [-*-]

    "What the hell is a 'General Protection Fault'?" Lina wondered aloud.
    "Maybe it means that it generally failed to protect something," Gourry
said.
    Lina pulled at her hair.  "They COULD have documented this thing, or
made it easier to use!  Best I can figure... maybe I shouldn't bother
explaining it to you, Gourry, this is way over your head."
    Gourry recalled something.  "Actually, I think you should anyway.  I
remember my Aunt Koirry liked to talk to me about things even if I didn't
understand, because she said by saying them aloud, it helped her think
about them."
    "That's... actually a pretty good idea," Lina remarked.  "Okay... take
a look.  There's a space that the Ways use to store things called a
'buffer', a midpoint between two linked Stations.  We got through the
Zefielia and Nohao stations just fine, according to the security logs I
somehow managed to find... but inbetween Nohao and Ky, Myth got stuck at
the midpoint.  See this flashing red point of light?"
    "Uh-huh," Gourry said blankly.
    "Red usually means 'danger'.  Whatever went wrong went wrong there, and
that means if Myth is anywhere, that's probably it," Lina said.  "I could
be wrong, but assuming I'm right, it's just a matter of forcing this thing
to take what's in the buffer, and move all of it over here.  With me?"
    "No.  But keep going."
    "All I need to do is find the command that'll do an emergency
transmission," Lina said, continuing to try and pick items off the menus on
the screen.  "Which is proving to be pretty hard.  Every time I try to pick
an advanced function, it asks for a password.  It's a sequence of five
numbers, so I figure since Merlin Giga designed this, he'd have maybe
turned a word into the numbers that relates to his magic... but nothing's
working.  What are those blasted numbers??"
    "Have you tried '12345'?" Gourry asked.
    "Don't be stupid, Gourry, nobody would use such an obvious password,"
Lina said right before Gourry reached around her, typed in 1-2-3-4-5 and
unlocked the advanced menu, the option for EMERGENCY BUFFER TRANSMISSION
blinking red and ready.
    "..." Lina said.
    "See, I figure, a smart guy would go 'Other smart people would just say
that 12345 is stupid and won't try it', so... that's gotta be what it is,"
Gourry said.  "Did I get it right?"
    "Yes... yes, you did," Lina confirmed.  "Um.  Thanks."
    "Aww, don't mention it," Gourry said proudly.
    Lina tapped the red button.
    A silent explosion flooded the chamber, as the platform jerked every
bit of matter in its allocated space through the bonds of reality,
depositing it not so neatly inside the circle--
    A snarling, malformed shape of black power had Myth in a strong grip,
choking the life out of her.  In the low light, it was wholly impossible to
make out what the thing was.  Maybe it was man-like, but...
    Gourry was already on the scene, Sword of Light activated and ready.
He sliced neatly through the appendages holding Myth above the ground, and
she fell; the severed darkness flowed off her body, clumping back into the
main shape, which howled in rage, and turned to face Gourry.
    "OFF!  EVERYBODY OFF THE PLATFORM!" Lina yelled, waving madly.  Myth
rolled to the side, away from the Sub Way platform; Gourry jumped
backwards, swiping at the thing's arm, as it came for him.  Once both were
safely away, Lina spotted the EMERGENCY BUFFER STORAGE button, and pressed
it.
    A silent implosion flooded the chamber, sucking the monster back to
wherever it came from.  Then all was genuinely silent.
    Myth fought to catch her breath, now that she was somewhere with
oxygen.  She felt content to sit down, recovering, skin white and eyes
wide..
    "What was that thing?!" Gourry asked, keeping his sword ready, in case
it came back.
    "Ni... Nii.." Myth started.  Swallow.  "Nightmare."
    "The Lord of Nightmares??" Lina asked.
    "No.. Nightmare," Myth said.  "Nightmare of the wingless.  The one that
CAUSED the fall from the heavens..."
    Long pause.
    "Please tell me he isn't the one we came to Ky to fetch," Lina said
quietly.
    "No, no.. he's someone else.  Definitely someone else."
    "Ooookay.  We'll deal with Mr. Happy Face there sometime.. MUCH later,"
Lina suggested.  "For now, how about a breather before we go looking for
our next catch?"
    Nobody had any objections.

                                   [-*-]

    Flying high above the mountain nation of Ky, no less than six
castles were in view at any given time.
    The problem, as Myth explained, is that the Kynese territory was
divided into lots of very small provinces, each ruled by a feudal lord.
And of course, no lord wanted to have a castle smaller than the others
which would be shaming, and at the same time no lord must have a castle
larger than the others which would be egotistical.  So, out of politeness,
a series of gigantic, pagoda-like structures dotted the landscape,
surrounded by their tiny patches of soil, dotted with villages and rice
patties and so on.
    "Which one of these belongs to the wingless?" Lina asked.  "They're all
identical!!"
    "I wanna land," Gourry said in a small voice.  He still wasn't very
good at this flying thing from a passenger point of view, and the slim hold
Lina had on him didn't feel like it was enough to keep him from plummeting
to a spectacularly awful demise on the rocks below.  Plus, he had the added
problem of Myth piggybacking on Lina's piggybacking, putting TWO girls on
top of him; which was causing a few others problems which he was a
gentleman and wouldn't admit to having, even to himself.
    Myth surveyed the landscape.  "His castle wouldn't look like the
others.  It's not Dramatic enough.  It'd have to be shrouded in fog, maybe
with some music, and made of iron and brick and stuff.  Gothic."
    "Who exactly are we going after, anyway?" Lina asked.  "He's not as bad
as... that other guy, right?"
    "No, no.  He's a bit, um, zealous about his work but he's not.. um.
His name, last time I checked, was Drama.  He's taken it onto himself to be
the spirit of adventure and fantastic events.  We worked together on a few
stories, but he liked to embellish a lot more than I do; I mean, it's other
humans that are supposed to add the HEAVY embellishment, as stories get
passed down by oral tradition--"
    "I get it, I get it," Lina said.  "I see some fog over there, we'll
check it out.  You think he'll come quietly?"
    Myth started to answer, but spotted a tiny glint of light ahead.  What
was that?  It was a spear made of ice, actually, which would have
shishkabobbed all three of them if Lina hadn't quickly adjusted her flight
spell to avoid it.
    "Never mind, I just answered my question," Lina said.
    "I REALLY wanna land now!!" Gourry begged.
    "Who could be attacking us?  That was a Freeze Arrow," Lina said, as
another one missed by a few yards.  "Does Drama know magic?"
    "No, just his Talents.. I think," Myth hastily added.  "Um.  Shouldn't
we be evading?  Running away?  Something??"
    "Whoever's tossing those has pretty bad control," Lina said, watching
them zoom by.  "Probably some hired goon.  That's how these things work,
you know.  Villains hire Goons, who have Faceless Minions--"
    "--and sometimes employ Thugs," Myth finished.
    "Oh, you know the pattern?"
    "I sorta.. wrote it.  A century or three ago.  If--"
    The problem with holding a casual conversation while someone's hurling
lances of magical energy at you is that you can really only focus on one or
the other.  Lina opted to have a nice chat instead of paying attention; the
flare arrow neatly grazed Myth, whooshing by close enough for her to panic,
scream, and let go, and drop.
    If that wasn't bad enough, the shock knocked Lina's Raywing spell out
of whack, and out popped her wings in surprise.  So all three of them
dropped.
    Gourry waved his arms quickly, in some species mis-mapped instinct for
flight, but didn't slow down.  The wind howled by the trio as Lina tumbled,
until a strong draft caught her butterfly wings, snapping them taut; which
just meant that she got to stay nice and still while her friends kept on
going.
    Work fast, think fast.  She flew once with these.  Then stopped, once
she thought too hard about it.  She tried not to think of HOW, and just...
flew down, coasting fast, beating her wings to gain speed.  She caught up
with Gourry, grabbing onto him, then got a good hold of Myth, and tried to
pull UP...
    When you're using Raywing, flight is flight.  You go this way, you go
that, you don't have to worry much about effort since it's a constant
stream of power.  Lina, however, had to really push to get their flight
from vertical to horizontal, muscles straining... the ground approaching at
unsafe speeds, to say the least, as she looked for a clear spot in the
mountain snow to touch down-- no, crash down, at this rate, maybe a
controlled crash if there is such a thi--
    Smacking into a tree, Lina let go of her companions, who tumbled into
the snow.  End total : Four bruises, nothing broken, a lot of pained
groaning.
    "We're... *ugh* not having much luck with travel today, are we?" Lina
said, trying to ignore the friction burns as she slid down the tree trunk,
to the snowy ground below.
    "I'll just lie here," Myth said, choosing not to get up.
    Gourry was already up, sword ready.  He wasn't going to let a little
thing like escape from almost certain death keep him from being alert and
peppy.  "Whoever shot at us is gonna be back, probably.  Come on, Lina!  We
need to get ready!"
    Peeling herself off the ground, shaking the snow from her wings, Lina
got her ducks back in a row.  "It was just a lucky shot.  I'll bet the goon
isn't anything--"
    A laugh echoed off the mountains, powerful enough to almost start an
avalanche.
    "OOOOOOOOOOOHOHOHOOHOOHOHHOHOHOOHOHOHOOOOO!!!!!!"
    Lina had a small spasm.  "No way.  No, no, NO, NO!  It CAN'T be--"
    A black sorceress, in a small bikini that contained a very large chest
(and not the kind that contains anything itself) landed, deactivating her
Raywing spell, and posing dramatically.
    "SO!  It is you, Lina Inverse, who dares to make an assault on my
employer's castle!!" Naga the White Serpent, Lina's most powerful and
loudest rival announced.  "I must admit, I was not expecting to see you in
this neck of the world!  And wearing such a silly outfit.  Did you get
those wings out of a Discount Fruit Lantern's Eve Costume Shop?"
    "Naaaga!" Lina groaned.  "What are you doing working for that guy?  And
you SHOT at us!  We could have been killed and stuff!"
    "Well, if you hadn't been so content to sit around Sailoon moping,
maybe I wouldn't have had to go and get a job that could put me on a side
opposite you!" Naga logically accused, pointing at Lina.  "I'm a bold
adventuress, I can't be inactive for months at a time.  I had to go do
SOMETHING!  Do you have any idea how awful it is to sit around Sailoon,
waiting for you to get your act together?  Putting up with Daddy's rants
about how a proper princess should behave?  'Gracia, you can't wear that
leather outfit!  It's not LADYLIKE!'  And Amelia always leaves the cap off
the toothpaste and OF COURSE we have to share a bathroom, at least we're
not in the bunk beds like we were as kids, and you can't get a decent beer
in the castle because of course the family looks down on that sort of
thing, and--"
    "*DILL BRAND!!*" Lina cast, throwing her arms down, as an explosion of
rocks and snow sent Naga skyward.
    Gourry winced as Naga was propelled fast and far, out of sight.
"Harsh..."
    "I can't take laundry lists of family complaints when I'm busy being
annoyed at falling from the sky," Lina complained in a very specific way.
"It always cheeses me off.  C'mon, guys, we've found our castle.  Time to
knock on the door."
    "What about Naga?" Gourry asked.
    "It's just Naga," Lina said.  "No big deal."

                                   [-*-]

    Two figures touched down on a mountain's peak, over looking the Castle
of Drama, still some distance away in the mists.
    The castle, unlike the mathematically perfect Kynese towers they had
passed on the way here, was a hideously nasty affair.  It was made entirely
of grey stone and brick, as if coming from the northeastern continent;
there were spires and towers and walls and towers and spires on the
spires.  The whole thing teetered ominously at the top of a mountain, with
a windy, twisted path leading there.  The sun did not shine on it; bats
circled the belfries.  As icing on the cake, you could almost hear an organ
playing a creepy tune.
    "What a bizarre place," Angela commented, folding up her wings for the
moment.  "Why is it done in the northeastern style of castles when the rest
are pagodas?  Don't the wingless have any sense of taste?  It's so ugly."
    "Fella like me could enjoy a place like that," Bugger smiled coldly.
"Probably has lots of twisty passages, all alike.  Good to get lost in.  Or
fall through a crumbling bit 'o flooring, or be trapped under a moldy
tapestry that chose that exact moment to fall on ya..."
    "I see your mind is already working on a game plan," Angela noticed.
"So, shall we proceed?"
    "After you, missy reptile," Bugger said.
    "What, risk a possible attack on my person by going in first?" Angela
asked, raising an eyebrow.  "I'm much too important to do that.  You will
go first."
    Grumble, grumble.  "Always make me walk right into danger, I see...
doesn't it just beat all?"  He hopped into the air, hung there a moment,
and floated (standing up, in contrary to super hero desires to fly
horizontally).  The Mazoku stood on thin air, approaching the castle...
then started to plummet.
    Figuring he was less use splattered on the ground than alive, Angela
spread her wings and went after him -- and hit an invisible cloud of thick
air, distorting her flight pattern, losing altitude...
    When the two recovered, they were embedded in the snow below, worse for
wear but more confused than anything else.
    "What in Ceipheed's name was that?" Angela asked, stunned.
    "Field... it's the same energy as the Talents we saw back at Sailoon!"
Bugger growled.  "Bastard's got a bubble around his castle, something that
modifies the way the universe works... affects the mind, I think.  I know
mind-magic, and it's real similar, I'd bet my arse..."
    "This is rather frustrating," Angela said.  "How could we, two of the
most powerful creatures alive save only our masters, be unable to cope with
these... Talents?  The humans manage just fine."
    "S'like a dog whistle, I suspect," Bugger said.  "You know, one of
those things you blow and humans don't hear it, but the beasts start
howlin' bloody murder.  We're allergic to the damn stuff.  We COULD try to
go in the castle, if you don't mind gettin' lobotomized in the process..."
    "This will not do," Angela said distinctly.  "Allow Lina this round.
We need to find a better plan of approach to the situation."
    "Typical, totally typical.  This day's just gone from suck to blow,
ain't it?  I never gets a break, not once, not ev--"
    "Oh, DO shut up," Angela pouted.

                                   [-*-]


    Lo, though the brave adventurers did set forth towards the castle.
And as they approached it, their skin did crawl with goosebumps, a
prickling static in the air unlike any they had felt before.
    "The hell is this?" Lina inquired.
    "It feels like a Talent.." Myth realized.  "Drama must keep a field of
dramatic energy around his home at all times."
    "A what?"
    "From what I remember... his Talent is to make life more interesting,"
Myth said.  "More wild and strange in ways that make life really... cool?
This is hard to explain, but..."
    "Hark, fair Lina!  I see the target of our quest ahead!!" Gourry said,
pointing at the large castle that lurked in the mists of mystery.  "Give
good cheer, for the journey is near end!"
    "...I think I see what you mean," Lina said.  "Gourry?  Are you feeling
okay?"
    "Why, never better, good sorceress.  Why do you ask?"
    "Because you're talking like a dashing swordsman out of an early fable,
that's why!" Lina pointed out.
    "Honestly?" Gourry asked, surprised.  "I have not detected anything
strange in mine speech.  Whateverfor could you mean?"
    "I don't think Gourry's mind is strong enough to resist it," Lina
said.  "We're going to have to try hard to avoid turning into the sort of
people that could conceivably swing across the room on ropes with knives
between our teeth, gesturing at things and giving longwinded speeches.
Now, onward towards victory!!"
    Myth gave forth a sound of minor discomfort.  "Ah.. yeah.  Victory.
Got it."

                                   [-*-]

    In the dark Castle of Doom, wherein the very shadows elongate with the
passing of the hours in ways most unsettling, newfold horrors are being
developed in secret rooms in which secret men plot their devilish ways.
    "This will not do!!" the lord of the keep howled, overturning a table
covered with easily breakable objects, which shattered on the floor in loud
mannerisms.
    His hired lackey, the one and only Naga the White Serpent, agreed.
"Lina Inverse has gone too far.  She tricked me into thinking she had
retired then when I finally obtain work, here she is again on some big
journey!  We must punish her for trying to leave behind her strongest and
most powerful rival and ally!!"
    "Whatmore, she dares to impede on my domain," Lord Drama said, pacing
his throne room, cloak a-swirl behind him.  "I will not be returned to the
Lord of Nightmares for whatever punishments she continues to seek.  Have we
wingless not fallen far enough?  I have found a niche in this world of
humans, and none shall remove me from it!  If I must, I will seek the
council of the dark one of dreams to prevent this!!"
    "There is no need to go so far as that, my lord," Naga said.  "For I
have devised a trap of such cunning that not even the sorceress Lina
Inverse will be able to escape it!"
    "You have?" Drama asked.  He settled into his throne, one arm firmly on
each armrest, fetching a nearby flagon of mead.  "Tell me of this trap, so
that I may partake in its genius, Naga!  You have been a valuable asset so
far in the cause of Drama."
    "Thank you, my lord by hire," Naga said, bowing in honor.  "And,
OBSERVE!!"
    Thunder roared outside, despite a lack of thunderstorm, as a table
arose from the floor, hidden until now.  Upon it, rolled in scroll form,
was Naga's Plan.  She snatched it from the surface, letting it unfurl with
glamour and style.
    "MY PLAN!" Naga announced.  "First, I will have several hundred of the
Faceless Minions attack them in the lobby..."

                                   [-*-]

    The mighty gates of the Castle of Doom were felled in a single blow
from the genius sorceress, Lina Inverse; a blast of power suitable for
rocking the terrible castle, dust unsettling from every surface as the iron
doors went a-crash into the lobby.
    "Ah... I didn't think they'd make that much noise," Lina admitted,
slightly embarrassed.  "So much for the stealthy approach."
    "I prefer a stand up fight!" Gourry announced, drawing his sword.
Light glinted off the blade's surface, a sharp sparkle that went
PINNGGGG... audibly.  "Bring on the evil hordes!  My trusty blade has seen
me through worse days than this, indeed!!"
    Uttering a war cry of the ancient Testabourne honored warriors, Gourry
stampeded into the dark antechamber.
    "Maybe while whatever's in there is eating him, we can go bag Drama,"
Lina asided to Myth.
    "I... think I'll sit this one out," Myth said.  "Stay off to the side
and write.  Um.  You don't mind, right?"
    "Considering you don't know magic and would probably fall over if you
tried to swing a broadsword?  No, not at all," Lina said.  "But stay
upwind, it's probably going to get messy."
    Lina skulked into the castle, taking her time.  Her partner stood in
the center of the room, beckoning the nonexistent enemy.
    "Cowards!" Gourry declared, shaking his mighty forearm in taunt.  "Show
your yellow backs, curs, so that I may strike thee down!  We are here to
take your lord and master, and none shall stand in the path of our holy
quest, as mandated by the Lord of Nightmares herself!!"
    "But if you want to stay hiding, it would make our jobs easier," Lina
added.
    And in response, a laugh seemed to float out of the dark shadows of the
stonework itself...
    "ooooOHOHOHOHHOHHOOohohhoooo..."
    A figure in black, stylish and beautiful, arise from a balcony on the
second floor, to look down upon the adventurers.
    "How easily you walk into my trap, Lina Inverse!!" Naga the White
Serpent declared.  "Perhaps at one time we were allies, but today, this is
no more!  I will not go easy on you or your errant knight!"
    "'tis words of battle, yet I will persevere!" Gourry responded, voice
most manly.  "As too I feel it to be tragic that one-time friends must be
pitted 'gainst each other in the field of battle, so be it!  As the winds
of change sweep in ways most foul, such things as--"
    "Time out!  Stop the music!" Lina said, making a T shape with her
hands.  "Naga?  Gourry?  Have you BOTH lost your minds?  Look, we can work
this out.  Just let us talk with Drama about what's going on, and see if he
wants to come with us.  There's no need for any of this stupidity."
    "My lord Drama has already decided on such matters," Naga said.  "And
he has decided against.  Will you leave the property quietly, or shall you
be destroyed here and now?"
    Lina groaned.  "Okay, fine.  C'mon, Gourry, let's book and think up
some new strat--"
    "We shall never stand down in our eternal vigilance!!" Gourry declare,
closing a fist in power.  "Gourry the Bold will overcome any obstacle you
might rain down upon us, White Serpent.  I dare thee!"
    "GOURRY!" Lina yelled.  "Shut up!"
    "VERY WELL!" Naga spoke.  "Guards!  SEIZE THEM!"
    And from every entranceway, every hiding place, every nook and cranny
they came; scores of armed men, each wearing the finery of the House of
Drama, as well as helmets that concealed their identities.  They advanced
on the pair, weapons drawn, ready to do battle.
    "Oh.. goody," Lina said.  "Faceless Minions.  No, I guess it wasn't
complete without a couple zillion of those..."
    "HRRRAAH!" Gourry shouted, as he charged into battle.  Swords clashed
on swords, sparks kicked up, enough to set a thousand fires of
righteousness ablaze with the fury of a warriors honor!
    Lina was too busy climbing the tapestries to worry about it.  She
kicked off against the wall, landing on the balcony to face Naga.
    "You're under the influence of the castle, aren't you?" Lina asked.
"That's why you're acting... well, no, you usually act like an idiot.  But
this is a bit much, even for you."
    "Hark and beware, Lina!  I will never let you pass!" Naga declared,
drawing her sizable blade.  "HAVE AT THEE!"
    Lina was confused.  "What, you want a swordfight?  Come on, Naga,
that's not how sorceresses duel."
    "Draw thine weapon, or I will strike thee down in your cowardice!" Naga
requested.
    "Oh, fine, whatever," Lina grumbled, taking her butterfly sword out of
the scabbard.  "Let's get this over with already."

                                   [-*-]

    And so, the battle raged; brother against brother, friend against
friend!  A clash of titans!  Of...
    No, no.
    This wasn't working.  Myth, in her hidey hole, kept trying to write the
scene of sharp metal being swung around like so many dead cats and couldn't
get words down that didn't sound horribly cheesy.  Drama was screwing up
her writing ability, instead of her mind.
    She'd have to simply remember everything in hindsight once they were
away from the castle, and write it down then.  Myth didn't like to overdo a
story.  The trick, she saw, was to put in enough hooks -- a fight between
friends, a couple hundred bad guys in one room, and so on -- hooks that
other people would pick up on and amplify.  Occasionally, while traveling,
she'd overhear two people in a bar talking about this guy who once had his
leg bitten off by a crocodile.  When Myth wrote that story, it had only
been his toe because it really had only been his toe.  Humanity took care
of half of her job for her, really.
    If she kept writing like this, though, she'd get an unbelievable tale,
which would become a WHOLLY unbelievable tale after being passed around.
That would ruin her book about Lina.  No, better to do these things with a
calm mind.  Besides, she wouldn't be able to write with her hands tied
behind her back like this.
    Wait.
    Hands...
    "Aaaa!" Myth yelped, realizing just now that she was being hauled away
by a couple of the Faceless Minions.  (One of the many dangers of thinking
too hard when you're busy trying to avoid being killed in battle.)
    "Lord Drama has plans for you, bardess!" the guard announced.

                                   [-*-]

    Swordplay was not Lina's forte.  She was better than most, but not
nearly a master.  Fortunately, the White Serpent was neither.
    "You have improved, Lina Inverse!" the White Serpent said, in what was
probably the seventeenth dramatic
sword-lock-together-pause-so-they-could-taunt-each-other.
    "No I haven't," Lina said.  "I haven't even been practicing!"
    Naga shoved away from Lina, assuming a battle stance.  "However you may
claim your own superiority, the fight is still mine!"
    "What are you TALKING about-- HEY!" Lina yelled, as the felt her sword
yanked cleanly out of her hands by a weaving of air.  "You're not supposed
to steal someone's sword with magic, you putz!"
    "OOOOOHHOOHOHHOOO!!  You're so naive, Lina!" the White Serpent laughed,
catching the smaller blade by its handle.  "In battle, the clever mind and
those strong of might are the victors!  If you want your precious blade
back, follow me!"
    Naga the White Serpent then twirled, and dashed down a nearby corridor,
cape fluttering behind her.
    Lina took off, in hot pursuit.  "Naga, even if you are under weird mind
control... I'm gonna wring your neck!!" she promised, and followed her
quarry into a large room, stepping into--
    The net swung sharply upwards, snaring Lina and hauling her twenty feet
into the air before she could react.  Below, Naga started a mighty laugh.
    "OOHOHOHOHHOOHOO!  You fell for such an easy trap!  Just as I had
expected of you," she said.
    "Whee, a net.  Big deal," Lina said, readying a fire spell to cut the
ropes.  The flames licked the silvery cord, and... nothing happened.
    "Ah, but can the master sorceress escape a net woven with fibers of
Orihalcion?" Naga asked.  "Your magic is negated, your army defeated!  Even
now, your knight is being overwhelmed by my forces, and your bard has been
captured!  Your travels have come to and end!!"
    Lina sulked inside the net.  "Well, this bites.  So what now, Naga?"
    "My Lord wishes a word with you before your demise," Naga said.
    Then she realized.
    The Villain explains all of his plans to the newly conquered heroine.
Then the heroine goes into the easily escapable deathtrap and is left
alone...
    "Okay," Lina said, smiling with all teeth.  "Let's go meet him."

                                   [-*-]

    After being sent to a brief sleep by Naga via spellwork, Lina rested,
smug and content.
    She knew how THIS worked.  When she woke up, she would likely be on a
table with a giant pendulum swinging ever closer.  Or better, that she'd be
dangling over some sort of bottomless put, with a candle slowly burning
through the rope that's holding her there.  Maybe they'd just be simple and
toss her into an arena with a few wild beasts.
    Either way, there was NOTHING to worry about!  She was the heroine,
after all, and even Drama dictates that she escape her confines and exact
revenge on her captors.  What's more, she'd find all about Drama's evil
schemes since of COURSE she'd be dead anyway, and he'd feel comfy cozy
telling her.
    That's why when she woke up, she started to feel very alarmed.
    Yes, she was strapped down to the requisite table with strange sharp
things around her, but it wasn't a basic dungeon.  It was a scientist's
lab.
    Lina had only seen one lab before, the one Dayvid had hastily
constructed in his quarters at Sailoon Palace.  He had a nice and neat
table, with a few bubbling beakers; some spare parts for strange machines
were in one corner, and every wall had chalkboards, scribbled with
mathematics and physics and others 'ics Lina didn't know.  The whole thing
smelled vaguely of socks and instant ramen.
    There was enough science stuff for her to recognize this as a lab, but
it wasn't a nice, funny lab like Dayvid's.  This one had long coils that
went 'zap'.  It had a large bay window, through which lightning
periodically crashed.  It had big scary sharp knives on mechanical arms, it
had tubes of glowing green fluid, in which various strange creatures
floated.  It wasn't lit by a simple window and a few lanterns, it had great
roaring torches and scary underlighting.
    What's more, she was strapped into some bizarre chair/table, surrounded
by far too many probing things for her comfort, and NATURALLY some idiot
had taken off all her clothes, save her underwear, thank the Lord.
    Lina was inside one of the few genuine Mad Scientist's labs that were
in existence.
    "Ah, I see you've awakened," the Mad Scientist said, consulting a
clipboard.  Of course he would have wild hair and a pointy, evil beard, and
squinty eyes; it was dramatic, after all.  He turned his facial expression
on Lina with maximum contempt and amusement.  "And high time, too!  Now,
the procedure may begin!  Naga, if you will start the apparatus?"
    (An evil machine can't be called a machine.  It's always called an
APPARATUS.)
    Off to the side, Naga -- in a white lab coat, open to show her usual
leathers -- was holding a remote control, attached to Lina's current
problem.  "Aye, sir!"
    "What?  Whoa, what!!" Lina protested.  "Aren't you going to tell me
your evil plans?  At LEAST?"
    At least the freak was sticking to one convention...
    "I suppose it couldn't hurt," Drama stupidly assumed.  "It's very
simple.  I want to know what's making you tick, Lina Inverse!"
    "I'm not a clock.  Can I go now?"
    "Somehow, YOU, above all others, were chosen by the Lord of Nightmares
to bring back her truant children," Drama continued, ignoring her.  "You
have been given the wings, according to Naga.  NOBODY is supposed to have
the wings, not since the fall!  I will discover their secrets, highly
valuable information to my.. colleagues.  Of course, to do this, I have to
very carefully scrutinize your body--"
    "I can TELL that much," Lina grumbled, still a bit red from
embarrassment.  "When I get out of here, I'm going to have to personally
remove your scrotum for this.  I just thought you could use the warning."
    "You don't even realize your importance, do you?" Drama asked,
honestly.  "You have no idea what your task is!  Did you even understand
what Merlin Giga was going on about?  I am one of the few who is aware of
his machinations..."
    Lina, despite being enraged and exposed and pissed off and slowly
getting very frightened, dogged Drama's instinct to tell all.  "I suppose
if they're not going to work out, you can go ahead and tell me, mmm?"
    "Naah," Drama said.  "Naga, if you'll please?"
    Naga pushed the Red Button.
    The chair shook, motors coming to life.  A green light traced Lina's
body, sizing up exactly where to start probing.
    "H... HEY!" Lina said.  "How do you expect me to get out of this?"
    "I don't," Drama said.  "Why would I?"
    "I'm the heroine!  I HAVE to get out of the deathtrap!"
    "Not in MY story, dear," Drama smirked.  "My pursuit of science and the
vanquishing of my enemies makes me the heroic figure of the day!  You are
simply a bandit invader coming to oppress the spirit of invention and
progress, which I will get some usefulness out of.  Your friends will
provide similar needs, once I fish them out of the dungeon.  For now, I
must bid adieu; plenty of experiments to attend to.  Naga, I trust you'll
keep an eye on her and stun her into submission if she attempts anything
unusual?"
    "Aye, sir!" Naga said, smiling.
    "Naaagaa!" Lina whined.  "How can you just stand there and let him get
away with this?  Spooky lighting?  Exaggerated gestures?  Deathtraps?  HE'S
the villain, not me!  Snap out of it or I'm going to be carved like a
turkey!!"
    Naga held her hand to her mouth to let off an evil laugh, but spotted
one of the scalpels adjusting its angle of approach to Lina, ready to start
the experiment in a few minutes.  Something about it...
    "Ah... this is going to have a lot of.. blood, isn't it?" Naga asked
Drama, in an entirely non-self assured voice.
    "Of course.  You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs,"
Drama cliched.
    "I don't like blood..." Naga remembered.  Her eyes defocused slightly,
trying to recall something.  "I can't stand the sight of it... I can't
remember why, something a long time ago, but..."
    Lina picked up on this.
    "I remember!  I think!" Lina said, trying to distract Naga.  "You
were... okay, it was back when we were traveling together, and you got
REALLY drunk after we had found the legendary lost idol of Tehocan, and you
were saying... something about your mother?  I couldn't make it out through
the slurring, but your mother and blood, I remember that--"
    "This is childish," Drama frowned.  "Naga, tend to your post."
    "But.. I don't want to see Lina get cut up!" Naga said, gradually
rising from the spell Drama's Talents had placed on her.  "She's a friend,
and.. and the Killers--"
    Drama waved his hand, and Lina could almost SEE the golden light
reflect off Naga's eyes.  Her posture went back to her usual self-confident
stance.
    "Aye, sir!" Naga said.  "I'll see to it that the machine works
correctly, for the glory of my high lord, Drama!"
    "Better," Drama said, satisfied.
    "So you ARE bending her will with your cockamamie Talent," Lina
accused.  "You know, I prefer Myth's stories.  I don't get sliced and diced
in those, for starters."
    "Myth is.. an amateur," Drama said.  "She knows nothing of how to make
a PROPER story.  True tales of fantastic deeds are told with more style,
more LIFE!  People in those stories know their roles.  And to make sure you
play your role, I think I'll have to expend a bit more effort..."
    Lina opened her mouth to ask what he was yammering about, but only saw
a brief moment of gold, and... and...
    Was scared!
    "AAAAAAAAA!!!" she cried, mind clouded with passivity and feminine
helplessness.  "Whatever am I going to do?!  HELP!  HEEEEELP!!"
    "Considerably better!" Drama smiled.  "The Damsel in Distress would
never be able to escape on her own.  My work here is complete.  Ta ta,
all."
    As Drama left, he completely failed to realize the error in his
strategy.

                                   [-*-]

    The Dungeons were Dungeons.  They lacked Dragons, but they made up for
it with harsh, unyielding iron, brickwork and plenty of spare manacles and
moans of torment.
    Myth had never been thrown into a dungeon before, and the experience
wasn't sitting well with her.  First of all, it was cold.  Second, it was
damp.  Third, they took her book away and she had no hope of escaping and
probably would be sent to a horrifying death soon which was very possible
since wingless may be long-lived but they are no means immune from having
sharp objects pushed into their bodies and Myth really was very alarmed
that this might be part of her immediate future.
    Where was Lina?  Lina should be rescuing her.  She was a damsel in
distress here, and the very fact distressed her.
    Myth lived a lot of her life distressed.  She didn't see herself as
very powerful, certainly not in any way that would keep even a two-bit
mugger from removing her from this world.  She had survived not one, but
TWO wars between powerful godlike beings -- many close calls, many moments
when she repeated to herself : I'm not going to make it this time.  I'm not
going to make it this time.
    Maybe it was the first time that did it, the time that really put fear
of death into her...
    The kingdom of the wing.. the winged, they were.  They had no names for
themselves as a group.  They just were who they were, with nothing to
compare it against.  They knew very little, in fact, being creatures of
innocence and ignorance.
    But the one among them had one piece of knowledge that changed it all.
The one that would eventually be called Nightmare had developed an
intriguing new concept called death.  Death and life, since one didn't seem
to be able to exist without the other, but death fascinated him more.  Love
took up the work of developing life as a concept, since she felt she
applied to it well; and the others let the most beautiful of them play with
his idea of death...
    Then he tried to kill Myth, and that's when she knew the fear that she
could stop existing.  She was the first one of them to know that fear.
    The Lord cast them out for the offense, and they became the fallen, the
wingless, and then ALL of them had to fear the cessation of existence...
    But for Myth, it was more personal.  More personal by far.  After that,
she took no chances; no stupid bravery, no getting into the line of fire.
Determined nothing would bring around her death.  So what did she do now?
She got INTO the story, she got into Lina's tale, and now she was just as
much at risk of demise as the others!  And why?  For an ideal?  For a hope
that the Lord of Nightmares would forgive them?  Not much had come of this
wild notion, except a cold, damp, clammy dungeon, and not much hope in
sight.
    Some people would beat at the walls in anger over themselves.  Myth
wasn't aggressive.  She held it in, until she couldn't stop from crying.
    A voice from the cell next to hers floated in.
    "Prithee, what dost you weep for?"
    "G.. Gourry?" Myth asked, a flicker of hope rekindling.  "Is that you?"
    "The blackhearted dogs swarmed me," Gourry mumbled.  It sounded like he
had taken a bad blow to the head.  "My ears ring like the gongs of heaven.
Tell me, is the fair sorceress with you?"
    "No.. no, I don't know where she is," Myth said.  "She could be in his
dungeon, asleep.  If she was awake, she'd be yelling her head off,
probably..."
    And then, Drama's fatal mistake was known.
    "Hark!  Dost thine ears hear what mine hear??" Gourry said, leaping to
his feet, pressing up to the bars.
    "Huh?  I don't hear anything..."
    "A call... a cry for help!" Gourry exclaimed.  "The fair lady.. she is
in DANGER!  I must take leave of this place, and rescue her, or all is
naught!"
    Myth sighed.  "It's just Drama's Talent working on you, Gourry.  We
can't get out of here."
    "Even if I have to wrench mine arms from their sockets, I WILL
escape!!" Gourry said, voice low and angry.  "I will pry these bars apart
with every ounce of my strength!"
    "They're hard iron.  They won't bend..." Myth said... and paused.
"Wait.  If Gourry's the real hero, and Lina's the damsel in distress, and
we're all in a castle dungeon... this is JUST like a story Drama wrote way
back when!  It's been repeated enough times to become typical and resonant,
and... and I know what to do next!  I don't even need to use a Talent!"
    "You have a plan of action, my lady?" Gourry asked.
    Myth leaned up against her cell door, and called out.  "HELP!  GUARD!
GUAAARD!  GOURRY'S SICK!  HE'S VERY ILL!!"
    "Good thinking, good bardess!" Gourry cheered.  "Oooooh... ohh, my
stomach..."
    Two burly big bastards waddled down into the dungeon, wearing the
finest in torture technician fashions.  They ignored Myth, and rapped on
Gourry's bars.  "What's all this, then?" one asked.
    After that, the rest was straightforward.

                                   [-*-]

    Since the hero needed to go save the damsel at the last possible
second, the machine was slowing down.  Its mechanical gears didn't
understand why, but the process of preparing to dig into the victim just
wasn't going as fast as it should; a few error lights popped up suggesting
that the owner make repairs, but nobody noticed them.
    Lina didn't notice, because she was too busy shouting things like
'Eeek, help me' and 'I'm scared'.  Somehow, her hair had gotten prettier
and her eyes more sparkly; a side effect of her enchantment.  Deep inside,
she was feeling very, very angry, but not in any conscious way.
    Naga was, of course, taunting her endlessly to pass the time, despite a
nagging feeling in the back of her head that this wasn't what she wanted,
that it was about to get very bloody and she should be doing something...
yes, attending to the machine, that had to be it...
    Any doubts about their roles were thrown out the window when Gourry
arrived, nicked from various small combats with the guards, but very much
alert and ready to rescue.
    "LINA!!" he recognized dramatically.  "Hold on!  I'm coming!!"
    "I'll just go wait over here," Myth notified anybody who cared, as she
crawled under a sturdy table.
    "SO!  You have escaped!" Naga realized, drawing her own sword -- a
magic-on-sword fight didn't make sense, but sword-on-sword did.  "You go no
further, knight!  In the name of my lord and master, I will vanquish thee!
HAVE AT YOU!"
    "Oh, Gourry, help me!" Lina squealed in a sickeningly cute voice.
"Hurry!"
    So the two fought blades for several minutes, the clock (since there
HAD to be a clock) ticking down the seconds, slowly reaching that ominous
zero...
    The fight trashed most of the room.  Anything that was breakable filled
its duty.  Swords were embedded in things and pulled out at the last
possible moment, to block an oncoming strike; the two locked swords and
taunted each other.  The cycle repeated, until finally, Gourry struck a
mighty blow -- and Myth could SWEAR she saw lines of motion behind him and
the same movement repeated three times.
    Naga's sword went spinning away, useless.
    "I am.. defeated!" Naga gasped.
    "I will not kill a woman," Gourry nobly said, and simply clocked the
hilt of his sword over Naga's head.  She curled up delicately on the spot,
more or less unharmed, but taking a nap anyway.
    A cloud of smoke billowed in the center of the room, lightning arcing
from wall to wall; Gourry's sword blocked a magical blow, as the man of the
hour arose.
    "ENOUGH!!" Drama shouted, as the organ music crescendoed with his
arrival.  "I will, kill you!"
    Myth really wished she had her notebook.
    She glanced around, hoping to find anything she could write on; the lab
was a wreck, but there weren't any papers in safe reaching distance.
Lina's pack was nearby, however, and she grabbed that instead.
    Drama formed a sword out of golden energy, holding a nonexistent
handle.  Gourry readied himself, and the two charged each other, from
across the room... running towards each other... running towards each
other... running towards each other... running towards each other...
running towards each other--
    CLANG!
    The two dashed past, and skidded to a halt, facing away from each
other.  All was still...
    And finally, Drama collapsed.  Classic samurai battle ending #34.
    "VICTORY!!" Gourry declared, posing against the raging sea!!
    He strode mightily over to the contraption Lina was stuffed into, and
with a single stroke of his sword, cleaved the arms holding scalpels in
half.  He loosed the straps, and pulled her away from the device, only 0:07
seconds before it would have made a mess.
    "Oh, Gourry!" Lina sighed happily, stars in her eyes.  "You came back
for me!"
    "Of course, my lady," Gourry smiled, valiant as ever.  "I could not
leave you in that cur's hands.  For it is my quest to protect thee!  And
just as well, for I..."
    "Yes?  Yes?"
    "I..."
    "Yes?" Lina asked.
    "I LOVE thee, my lady!" Gourry declared, and swept her up into a kiss
that the violins just ADORED...
    And off to the side, Myth's jaw dropped.
    Realizing the Talents were still in effect, she quickly dug through
Lina's backpack, grabbing a spare Man-Trap.  Myth unscrewed the lid,
crawled out to Drama's unconscious body, and sealed him away--
    The music died instantly.
    Nobody made any sudden moves.
    "Ummmmm..." Myth said, feeling someone should break the silence.  "I
got him.  We can go now.  We'll probably have to take the Sub Ways back,
since it's the only short way from here, but... um... guys?  Hello?"
    Lina finally untangled herself, eyes as wide as saucers, face as red as
a tomato.  Gourry's was too.
    And her first response was :
    "aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--"

                              TO BE CONTINUED