Two quick points.
1. If you're looking for previous episodes or the Reflect story arc,
and/or just want to see the graphics I cooked up that go along
with the story, stop on by the webpage below. It's worth the
visit, with fan art for the series, and... okay, okay, I'll stop
pimping myself now. ^_^;
2. People have b een asking 'How are you writing these so fast?'.
I'll let you in on the secret. Be a college student home for
the summer, and shun having a social life and turn your back on all
official responsibilities and WRITE ALL DAY! Then you too can
be this proficient, even if you suffer Vitamin D deficiency
from lack of sunlight!
-=-
SPOOF CHASE PRODUCTIONS
(http://spoof.maison-otaku.net/)
PRESENTS...
Slayers Chaos :
Episode 3
...in which old enemies taunt each other, fortunes
are won and lost, strange bedfellows are made, and
plenty of clowns are set on fire.
A Slayers Fanfic Series by Stefan "Twoflower" Gagne
(Almost all characters copyright H. Kanzaka / R. Araizumi,
obviously. If I ever even considered claiming that these
were my own characters I'd probably be thrown into a small
cell where I'd be forced to eat my own gas pedal to live.)
--> Read the enhanced hypertext version at <--
--> http://pixelscapes.com/slayers <--
-=-
Road travel is a hard life, wandering from town to town, living on a
small income and having to put up with mediocre food. But not for holders
of the exclusive Diner's Club Card, a miracle of modern economics that
permits you to live a life of luxury. Providing discounts and ease of
payment with prepaid credit, as well as exclusive tables and services, your
mealtimes will no longer consist of expensive tabs and splitting up the
bill among the various heroes in your party! Instead, they will resemble
this one.
"A table, my good man!" Lina said. "I believe you have a table set
aside for us?"
"Eh?" the waiter asked.
Lina held up her shiny new Diner's Club Card. "See?"
"What's that?"
"It's a Diner's Club Card."
"Oh," the waiter said. "I understand."
Lina turned to her companions, Myth and Gourry, with a knowing smile.
"The company went under a day or two ago in a state of bankruptcy," the
waiter said. "We got word of it today.... didn't you know?"
"What? No, no, this.. this is valid! This is my MEALTICKET!! It's--"
"We only do cash from now on. Makes life more convenient," the waiter
said. "So, can I seat your party?"
Lina pulled a handful or non-rare coins out of her pouch, and counted
out enough money to maybe buy half a glass of milk.
"It's okay, Lina!" Gourry said, taking advantage of the opportunity.
"We've still got my Meals-Ready-To-Eat!"
"AAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Lina said calmly.
After the small group left the restaurant, the waiter returned to the
table he was serving. He had to hold his nose; whoever this guy was, he
smelled like three week old cheese.
"Will fere fe anyfing elf, fir?" the waiter asked.
Bugger leaned back in his chair, smirking evilly. "Naaah, I think I've
'ad enough," he said. "Seems she has, too. Check, please?"
[-*-]
The same scene, compressed down, projected into a sphere. A sphere at
the center of a room of clocks, the space having no set dimensions. All
clocks ticking in time, precise and unyielding, each second a small rumble
through what passes for the floor.
A man stood in front of the sphere, watching Gourry and Myth hauling an
unbelieving and extremely angry Lina Inverse out of the restaurant. It
amused him greatly.
"See?" he said, turning to address a larger glassy sphere, off to the
side of the room. Flowing robes, weaved from the stars and galaxies,
turned with him. His smile was menacing, mischievous; a cat playing with a
mouse in a trap. "Already her quest is turning sour. Even with the just
Mazoku and the Dragons hounding her, odds are she'll turn away from this
fool's errand. How little your plans have come to! To think you were once
one of the most feared and enigmatic of the Mazoku, and have fallen this
far -- not only into a lowly human state, but into the clutches of the one
who has sworn to destroy you!! How do you... like those.... HEY! I'm
talking here!!"
Inside the prison sphere, Xelloss was busy reading a comic book with
kitties and bunnies on the cover. "Hmm? I'm sorry, were you saying
something?"
"And where'd you get that?!" Paradox demanded. "Magic and substance
can't get out of my reality bubble!"
"Oh, this?" Xelloss asked. "Well, come a little closer, and I'll tell
you....."
The wingless master of time and space walked up to the sphere. Xelloss
leaned over, to whisper conspiratorially...
"THAT IS A SECRET!!!!!" he screamed at the top of his lungs, bowling
the time wizard over. Then he smiled.
Normally, Paradox would be an imposing individual to a mortal. He was
a master of Talents that modified space and time, and took it onto himself
to guard them from modification; by people other than himself, at least.
He could really ruin your day, if not your life, if not the destiny of you
and every descendant you MIGHT ever produce if you crossed him.
But Xelloss knew some important things most wizards who stumbled into
Paradox's path did not, as he had annoyed Paradox many times previous, when
his spellwork had wobbled the shaky foundations of reality. It annoyed
Paradox greatly if you did things to his sphere of influence that he
reserved for himself. If you bent history in funny directions, he got
angry. If you popped a bubble of reality to make a new fragment of space,
he got angry. And most enjoyable of all; if you absolutely refused to
react to him the way he wanted you to, he got so angry that he turned into
the pimply faced high strung geek you used to laugh at in school. A very
nasty and potentially dangerous geek, but what a show you would see in the
process! Assuming you survived long enough to enjoy it!
Chuckling, Xelloss let the simple illusion spell that gave him reading
material fade away, dusting off his hands. "You know, you really should
lay off the coffee, Paradox-kun. It makes you so tense! That's bad for
your health."
"You're the one who should be worrying about his health, stupid
human!!" Paradox roared, which would have been dramatic if his voice hadn't
cracked partway through. "I don't believe your audacity. One of the most
powerful beings alive, now powerless under MY lock and key, and you're
making jokes! Aren't you the least bit worried about how I'm ruining all
your plans and hold your now-mortal life in my grasp?!"
"No, not really," Xelloss yawned, big and exaggerated.
"May I ask why, then?" Paradox asked, in the same tone one would say
'What would you like on your tombstone?' without meaning pizza.
"Why I'm not worried?"
"Of course!"
"Well, I'll tell you..."
"What?"
"...that is a secret."
"AARGH!" Paradox snarled. "You're mocking me again!"
"Am not."
"You're NOT?"
"No, mocking you would be if I asked if those were your mystic wizard's
robes, or if the second hand clothes store was having a sale on women's
bathrobes from the third century," Xelloss said, pointing to Paradox's
garb. "Mocking you would also be wondering if you meant to get that
haircut, or if you accidentally shoved your head into a pool of piranhas.
Which would explain the--"
"Shut up, shut up, shut UP!!!" Paradox demanded, letting fly a bolt of
time from his hands, tossing Xelloss's mind into confusion with the
temporal disorientation. "You're my prisoner! You should damn well be
acting like it!"
"Gghh.......'kay," Xelloss said, righting his neurons. "Oh, eeek eek,
help me, I'm in such danger, whatever will I do, I'm afraid, lord Paradox
of the Wingless, Overseer of Space and Time!"
"That's better," Paradox said, not catching on.
[-*-]
Lina looked inside the little pouch. One compartment held a souplike
substance that was supposed to be chicken. The other held a rough, chunky
goo that was supposed to be soup. She prodded each with her cheap tin
spork, noting how the dents only refilled themselves after a few seconds,
the 'food' giving off a small cloud of pungent green gas.
Gourry was already gleefully spooning.. whatever it was into his
mouth. "S'not bad," he said, "Once you get by the layer of jelly."
Myth turned purple. She hadn't moved a muscle for a few minutes, spork
hanging an inch away from her food.
"That's it," Lina proclaimed, tossing her Meal Ready To Eat aside. "I
quit! Someone else can draw the wingless. I am NOT moving another step
until I get some decent food."
"Huh?" Myth asked, snapping out of it. "Wait, but... it's just food!
Oh... you're joking. Okay, I get it."
"I'm not joking," Lina said. "C'mon, Gourry, let's beat it."
"But.. but the Lord of Nightmares--"
"SHOULD be sending bread from the sky or at least a juicy steak!" Lina
said. "What does she think us heroines run on, anyway? Gruel? We need
protein, carbohydrates, lipids, minerals, vitamins and sugar! You can't go
out and defeat evil and save the day on an empty stomach-- STOP writing
that down!"
"But.. but it's a good speech," Myth said, pausing in her notetaking.
Lina composed herself. "Look. You're a wingless, right?"
"Uh, yes. We established that..."
"You've been around for thousands and thousands of years," Lina said.
"You're one of the first eight beings ever created in the history of time
before time was an applicable notion. You have powers over stories,
Talents beyond human understanding. ...so can you whip us up a dinner or
what?"
"Uhh..." Myth mumbled, thinking. "I just.. I really just write
stories, you know. Feel them, hear them, write them, spread them.
Mythology. I don't know how to cook."
"What about your Talents, then?"
Myth thought a moment. "Well, I don't LIKE to use them outside passive
storylistening, because that sometimes causes a lot of problems, and it'd
make Paradox angry if I write something like 'And then the city explodes',
not that I would actually ever do that because I'm not that sort of girl,
but--"
"You can CHANGE stories?" Lina asked.
"It's very hard," Myth said. "But I can guide them. Nudge things
around a bit. A little bit is safe, usually."
"Can you write that bread falls out of the sky? Or perhaps a full
course banquet?"
"Food can't fall from the sky just because I say so, it's not
Reasonable," Myth said.
"Something small, then. Anything that results in food. Anything.
Don't make me beg."
Myth chewed the end of her stylus a moment, listened to unheard voices,
then took out a fresh page from the back of her book.
"There's some food not far from here. I'll steer events in our
direction. Ahem... 'The Tale of Robin the Butcher,'" she recited,
writing. "'As Robin's coach trotted down the road, a fresh load of fish
from the recent port town of Nesmith in the back, he felt confident in the
day's profits. So confident, in fact, that he.... took a turn left when
usually he went right, to take the.. scenic route back home. On the way
there, he passed by a small group of adventurers, and having pity on the
small underdeveloped one who seemed so hungry, he gave them a few fish to
have for dinner--'"
The butcher hauled a small roll of fish, wrapped in paper, out of his
cart, and passed them to an unbelieving Lina. "Here ya go," he said.
"Take care."
"'--and as he rolled down the road, out of sight of the adventuring
party,'" Myth continued, writing quickly as the cart turned a corner, into
the forest, "'He felt pleased at a job well done, a merciful act. And upon
returning home.... he... kissed his his wife as he came in the door, as he
had been frosty to her lately and now realized he should be a more caring
husband and their marriage stopped being on the rocks and he got a really
big profit and stuff. The end.'"
Lina looked at the fish in her arms.
"Um... good story," she said.
"I don't do that too often," Myth said, rolling up the page and storing
it in her pack. "But when I do, I like to put in a happy ending. Sort of
a nice payment for helping me out."
"A happy ending indeed... indeed!" Lina said, coming to the delightful
realization that she was holding a full meal. "Gourry, whip up a cooking
fire, it's feast time for Lina!"
"Right-o!" Gourry smiled.
An hour or two later, stomach filled, Lina remembered something.
"WHO'RE you calling underdeveloped?!"
[-*-]
Along the way, Gourry asked an important question.
"So where are we going, anyway?" he wondered.
"Haven't you been paying attention??" Lina scolded. "Honestly,
Gourry. We're going to... well, we're en route to.. where are we going,
Myth?"
"Eh?" Myth asked. "I forgot to tell you?"
"See? I'm not the only one who didn't know," Gourry pointed out.
"We're going to visit an old friend of mine," Myth said. "One of the
wingless. Not many of them have settled down anywhere, because after
surviving two major wars, you tend to want to stay mobile to avoid having
your home destroyed... but she opened up a little business on this road a
few decades ago. She's probably still there."
"Probably keeps a low profile, right?" Lina asked.
Gourry kept an ear to the wind. "Does anybody else hear music, or is
it just me?.."
[-*-]
Along the road, in the middle of a peaceful forest, someone had erected
a gigantic red and yellow striped tent, with flags from every corner,
trained animals putting on shows, and of course extremely loud organ music,
of an oompah oompah nature. This was a structure that absolutely did not
seem to fit, something you would not expect to see in the smack dab middle
of nowhere. It went beyond tacky, straight through to the other side, into
the realm of the surreal.
It was a circus.
Except...
"THIS is your friend's little business?!" Lina asked, shocked.
"...it seems to have gotten bigger," Myth admitted.
"No... no, it makes sense!" Gourry said, in a flash of inspiration.
"Business type people come along here all the time. There's a fork in the
road back there that goes in three directions where we saw wagons coming
from, and I think there's another one a mile ahead, so this is a crossroads
of a lot of traffic of people who have a lot of money and stuff!"
Lina stared at him. "That.. makes sense."
"Yep!" Gourry smiled. "No doubt all those rich people want to feel
like a kid again and go to the circus!"
"It's a CASINO, Gourry!" Lina said, pointing at the open tent flap.
"See?"
...except that inside, there was the ringing of bells, and calling of
numbers in games of chance. In fact, dozens and dozens of rich people were
inside, rolling dice, pulling slot machine handles, playing cards, and so
on. And of course there was the gigantic, brightly colored sign up front
that read "BIGTOP BIGTOP CASINO."
"Oh," Gourry said, noticing the sign for the first time. "That too,
then."
"Who are we looking for, anyway?" Lina asked. "Let's get on with it."
"The manager of the casino," Myth said. "Come on, I'll introduce you."
"We have to go inside?" Lina asked, horrified.
"How bad could it be?"
[-*-]
Lina had thought the open-air market in Sailoon was a mob scene. It
was tame compared to this.
Sedate. Calm. Peaceful. All words which completely failed to
describe the Bigtop Bigtop, which had all the fun of being trapped in a
hailstorm whipped up by a hurricane, but with larger, human body sized
hailstones. People wandered from table to table, clutching racks of
gambling chips, trying to get to wherever luck seemed to be running
highest.
Myth had wandered off, saying she'd try to track down her friend, and
that they should wait down here for her. It was for the best; she told
Lina earlier how the wingless might be less than thrilled to see her, and
breaking the news gently to this one would help things go smoothly. This
left Lina to loiter around the casino floor.
Lina hadn't been in very many casinos. There was the resort complex at
the Island of Ultimate Despair, but she was too busy trying to prevent the
ultimate darkness from consuming the world to bother trying her hand at
craps. Still, she had at least known what a casino should be like, in
spirit, and something wasn't clicking here. It was too frenzied, too
chaotic, too fast paced... too many gleeful shouts of joy from big wins,
too many groans of agony at big losses.
That was aside from the various circus animals nearby. When a tiger
jumped at her, she managed to leap up in surprise and cling to Gourry's
head with every limb at her disposal.
"Mphmhpmh," Gourry said.
"Big cat," Lina babbled. "Big cat! Big cat!"
Gourry managed to pry Lina off his face enough to breathe. "It's in
some kinda cage, Lina! Calm down."
"Eh?" Lina asked, risking another look. Sure enough, there was a
shimmering, more or less transparent set of bars around the animal. She
relaxed a bit, hopping down from her perch.
"That's a pretty neat idea, actually," Gourry said, tapping the cage,
despite a nearby sign reading PLEASE DO NOT TAP THE CAGE. "That way you
can see the animals without stuff being in the way. My dad took me to the
circus once, but we were in the back row. I don't think I've ever been
this close to a AAHH IT'S GOT ME IT'S GOT ME--"
"They probably should space the bars a bit closer together, though,"
Lina observed, as the tiger reached through to give Gourry a big 'ol hug,
claws extended.
Someone also should have hung a sign on Lina, reading PLEASE DO NOT TAP
THE SORCERESS, since she turned to sock the guy who tapped her on the
shoulder in a reflex action.
The clown ducked. "Whoahoo! Definitely a newcomer to the Bigtop, if
you're THAT jumpy, Lina Inverse!"
Lina forced herself to relax, realized that was a contradiction in
terms, and gave up. She looked at her would be attacker.
It's not often you find someone with a cherry red nose, bone white
skin, and flaming orange hair unless they have some kind of horrible skin
disease. Clowns manage to do the same thing with makeup and not look like
they have leprosy, which makes them a delight for children of all ages.
This one even had a little horn, which he honked playfully at Lina.
"Welcome to the Bigtop Bigtop Casino!" the clown said. "I am Chuckles,
Master of Clowns. How may I entertain you, oh jumpy little bandit-killing
sorceress?"
"You know me?" Lina asked.
"Word does get around," the clown smiled. Then again, the makeup
ensured that he was ALWAYS smiling, but something in his tone suggested a
genuine smile underneath. "Especially for one as... interesting, shall we
say, as you. So, have you come to blow up the casino? Or maybe just rob
everybody here?"
"What makes you think I'd do that??"
"'Where Lina goes, chaos follows,'" Chuckles the Clown recited.
"'Evildoers beware, as well as innocent bystanders, for none escape the
wildly erratic wrath of the underdeveloped bandit-stomping magic user, Lina
Inverse!'"
Lina made a fist. Nay -- TWO fists. "Why, I oughtta--!"
"Na ah ah!" Chuckles warned, hopping backwards, and pointing
dramatically to a sign across the room. "House rules."
Lina tried to peek over the heads of the crowd, reading what she
could. "'Noe Fightinge Inne The Casino Under Penaltie Of Ejectionne,'" she
read.
"We run a peaceful establishment, for what it's worth," the clown
said. "I merely was making jest, and besides, I did not write those
words. They're from a story I read once, 'Lina Inverse And The Red Priest
of Doom'. By the way, is that the fabled Gourry over there being mauled by
our kitty?"
"Huh? OH! Gourry!" Lina remembered.
After prying a worse for wear Gourry away from the tiger, Lina cast a
few quick Restorations on his minor injuries, and batted his cheeks to get
him back to consciousness.
"Big cat.." Gourry mumbled. "Eh? Wha? Where am I?"
"Such antics!" the clown smiled. "Lina, your travels NEVER fail to
amuse. For now, I bid farewell."
"Yeah, yeah, push off," Lina muttered, examining Gourry further as
Chuckles cartwheeled out of sight. "You okay, Gourry?"
"I think so," Gourry said, fingering a few two inch deep grooves
slashed into his armor. "Boy, those things have GRIP! I'd hate to bump
into one in a dark alley. Where's Myth?"
"She's still trying to find the wingless," Lina said. She noticed a
nearby gambling table, and got an idea. "So, we might as well make best
use of the time... follow me."
Lina Inverse led Gourry through the thick crowd, muscling her way to
the table.
It was a common game back in her country. Five coins would be flipped
by the 'dealer', and you bet on the final outcome of the coins, with heads
being a one and tails being a two on two of the coins and heads as a zero
and tails being a three on the other three coins and every other turn one
coin would be removed at random based on what the value of the last round
was divided by two after applying the modified rules and guidelines based
on the number of players at the table and the phase of the moon along with
orientation towards magnetic north. And whoever guessed right wins all the
money. Lina remembered her math teacher using the game in school to teach
basic addition and division, until the teacher was fired for winning an
upwards of 300 gold from her students in the process.
"I'm a master at this game," Lina noted for Gourry's benefit. "We've
got almost no money left, but I bet I could gamble that up to a LOT of
money, and then we wouldn't have to starve!"
"But we've got the Meals Ready To--"
"Meals Ready To Eat IS starvation," Lina said. "Hush. I must
concentrate and sharpen my wits."
Okay, Lina thought. The moon is waxing in the third phase. We're
facing... she cast a quick spell to check... east south east. The dealer
is left handed and we're on the fourth cycle of coin removal with the last
value a four. Therefore, the probability runs highest on.... six!
Lina took her entire change purse, meager as it may be, and dropped it
on the square marked 6.
"Lina! That's all our money!" Gourry gagged.
"Don't worry!" Lina said, giving a little thumbs up. "Just watch.
Within minutes, we'll have enough for a huge feast, comparable only to that
of royalty! You see, when you add up the hours of the day according to the
supplementary rules, and involve--"
"Eight!" the dealer announced, sweeping Lina's bag into the house
coffers.
"--....." Lina finished.
"We're broke," Gourry observed the obvious.
"We're broke," Lina repeated.
"Wait!! I've got it!"
"What? What?" Lina asked, desperately.
"Umm... nothing," Gourry said. "We're still broke."
*BONK*
[-*-]
A gilded carriage rolled to a halt before the entrance to the Bigtop
Bigtop. Its sole occupant, a lady of wealth and taste, stepped out. The
carriage rolled off to who knows where, despite not having a driver to
guide the horses. Nobody commented.
If there was one thing Angela was good at, it was making an entrance.
Many eyes fell on her elegant silvery gown, and her perfectly styled hair,
watching her enter the casino, in instant jealousy. The crowd unknowingly
parted for her, gamblers pressing closer to their tables to give her more
personal space, not even looking up from their cards or coins or dice. The
bar, placed off to the side of the casino, was fully occupied;
nevertheless, three people felt the urge to get up and leave, giving her
plenty of room to have a seat.
Perhaps it was a waste of her powers as a Dragon to make herself this
comfortable, Angela thought. But how could she properly observe the Lina
Inverse phenomenon, as she had recently nominated herself to do, if she was
not comfortable? It made no logical sense. Sipping a glass of fine wine,
complements of a bartender who didn't even remember pouring it for her, she
watched the mayhem.
Lina was there, at a table, gambling like a common human. It wasn't an
activity that the Dragons fully understood; why voluntarily throw your
money away, putting faith on the law of probability to get it back to you?
Chance was rigidly and mathematically defined. It SHOULD be.
Something was wrong, however.
She knew it immediately. Chance was not very rigid here. There were a
lot of big winners, people hitting lucky sevens many times in a row, or
having the ball roll into twenty four black at every spin of the wheel.
That should not be. In addition, there were many people who could go broke
in seconds, losing everything to bad luck. Someone was affecting the well
laid out laws of probability in this place, warping and distorting them...
Was it Lina? Or one of the wingless? Either way, it was concerning.
She expected as much, really, what with humans having such unpredictable
natures; give a human power, and you will get powerfully unpredictable
natures. A dangerous thing to the Dragons, and even to humans themselves.
Angela would have to take it into consideration in her mission...
A scuffle broke out in the casino. Angela levitated herself a few
inches, not enough to be conspicuous, but enough to see what was going on.
An angry, quite verbal man in a dirty coat was being thrown out of the
casino. There was some argument about harassing the other customers, and
some expletives hurled, and finally the man was thrown out of the tent.
It was a man Angela recognized. If not his name, at least his aura...
The man peered back inside the tent angrily, and for a moment, their eyes
locked. Dragon recognized Mazoku recognized Dragon, in a flash, before the
man walked away, out of sight.
[-*-]
When Myth finally returned to the group, she mentioned that her friend
was 'a little reluctant to go'.
Lina fingered the jelly jar of mystic power, tucked into a pocket of
her cloak, as Myth led the group upstairs, to an office on the second
floor. Lina was figuring on some resistance to this mission; if all she
had to do was travel around, what use would her powers be? Why would the
Lord of Nightmares bother asking her to do this if any schmoe could? Lina
was ready for a fight, if need be, to trap the wingless and take them with
her. She should have warned Gourry of this, so he could be ready as well,
but that would tip her hand early, and they were almost there...
With every ounce of courage and magic ready on tap, Lina stepped into
the office and was hugged.
"HIEEEE!!!!!!!!" the bouncy woman squealed, glomping Lina like a l'il
teddy bear. "You must be LEEEENA! I heard sooo much about you! Are you
really here to get all of us back together and stuff??"
"gkk," Lina replied.
The woman let go, and hop / skip / bounced back to her desk. If you
could paint a picture of her, it would be that of a sensible, modern
businesswoman; tall, well styled hair, no-nonsense clothes. But her
expression was that of a seven year old girl in a warehouse filled with
free lollipops.
"My name is Lady!" the woman said. "But that's only to other people.
You can call me Luck! Lady Luck, get it, TEE HEE! I'm excited!!"
"Wow, you're one of those wingless people?" Gourry asked, since Lina
was too stunned for comment.
"I am I am!" Luck giggled.
"And you own this place? It's really swell. I like the tigers, even
if they tried to eat me."
"Gosh golly GEE! I'm so happy you like the place. I wanted to make a
place where people could win a lot of money and have a lot of fun!" Luck
said. "It's my pride and joy!! And it's so colorful and it has a lot of
happy clowns!!! So Lina what do you think!!!!"
Lina could FEEL her teeth develop cavities.
"It's.. interesting," Lina said. "So, um... ready to go?"
"Well, gee, I dunno..." Luck said, her emotional coin flipping to the
other side, sad and mopey. "I really wanna, because I miss my old friends,
but... I don't waaaaaanna leave my casino! It'll be so lost without my
protection! The world is a cold dark place that hates me!
WAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!"
Her desk blotter started to saturate from the twin jets of saline
coming from her eyes.
Fireball flinging magical maniacs or tentacled monsters. THOSE Lina
could handle. But a grown woman bawling like a baby... she had absolutely
no clue how to deal with this situation.
"Uh, miss... I mean, Lady.. Luck," Lina said. "It's very important
that you come with us, so--"
"Okay!!!" Luck said, her mood swinging in the opposite direction, the
water bill unpaid. "I'll go. I guess it'll be a shame and stuff but I can
just close the casino for a few weeks! BOY this is going to be FUN!!
We'll leave tomorrow you can stay for free tonight at the casino hotel I
still have some things to take care of and stuff and right now I'll go pack
BYE!"
A Luck-shaped cloud of smoke was left in the air over her chair, which
was spinning from the launch speed. She was off, presumably to go put all
her worldly possessions in a suitcase.
[-*-]
Night descended on the Bigtop Bigtop in a big way over its top. The
lights still winked and blinked in cheerful colors, some gamblers were
still making fortunes and losing nest eggs, but it was considerably more
sedate than the earlier bustle.
In the adjoining hotel, small by many standards but very luxurious,
Lina was cuddled up in a nice, soft soft soft SOOOOFT bed and enjoying the
best sleep she had experienced in weeks. Comfortable lenin and fresh
pillows after a warm bath will do that to you. Occasionally her stomach
growls, since all she had for dinner was a glimpse at a MRTE before quietly
dumping it in the trash, but it was a small concern next to a twin-sized
rectangle of liquid comfort.
Elsewhere in the hotel...
Elsewhere the beds are just as soft, but to one who was familiar with
comfort and luxury, perhaps it wasn't as soft as a puffy white cloud or as
clean as a pure ivory tower. To Angela, the beds were simply adequate, and
when Lina turned in for the night, so did she.
Dragons aren't supposed to dream. At the very least, they do not dream
as humans do; they know their dreams mean something, visions brought on by
their highly magical natures. It's reported that Mazoku are similar,
although the dirty things probably have dirty dreams, Angela theorized.
Why should she have a dream like that?
Why should she be dreaming, that night, of what she was dreaming of?
It didn't make sense...
She saw her world in flames. The outposts of the Dragons, their towers
and perches, collapsing like so many sandcastles, kicked over by small
children just to be mean. She saw her people fleeing in terror. Absurd!
Dragons are noble, Dragons are good, Dragons do not run from a fight...
She felt herself flying, her white feathered wings, so treasured for
their beauty already clipped by numerous arrows, singed by spells. A final
shot, a dark flare of power strong enough to burn a hole through her left
wing, sank her; plummeting, she landed in pain...
The humans loomed over her, the destroyers.
She was there, she was feeling the event. Yes, the humans rose, as
Angela long suspected they would, being creatures of chaos... they rose and
destroyed the Mazoku that terrorized them, that ruined their lives and
killed them during the wars. And the Dragons approved of this, and aided
them in crushing the Mazoku, having finally found allies enough to win the
great wars...
Task done, the humans would turn on them! Did turn on them. Past?
Future?
Now they stood over her broken wings, gloating. See how easily the
Dragons fall. See how weak the Dragons really are. We won't be pushed
around by Dragon or Mazoku any longer. Our leader has shown us the way.
The wingless surrounded their leader, a figure of great power and
chaos. A leader who now stood before Angela, sword in hand, as two great
butterfly wings unfurled from behind their back, dark as ebony in the
midnight shadows... and all was still. Dead.
The vision over, Angela awoke, sweating. She willed herself not to
sweat, she fixed her hair with power, she preened herself, panic reactions
to the nightmare... she restored her calm. All was well. All was not
well.
It was the same dream she had nearly a month ago, when the Island of
Ultimate Despair burned without burning. She didn't understand it before,
she researched who was involved in the incident, she got herself onto the
Council that was dealing with Lina Inverse, to find out what it could
mean. Now she knew.
Lina Inverse MUST be stopped, or she would be the death of her kind.
She was the right Dragon for the task. With her powers, she could...
no, she would not destroy Lina Inverse. That had as much risk as letting
her go on; in addition, she was a Dragon, concerned with the preservation
of life. (Mind you, she tended to give the notion lip service more than
strong devotion.) But regardless, Lina Inverse must be STOPPED. She would
need a specialist in such things to aid her, perhaps, to make the task more
assured. Someone who likely also would share these goals...
Ignoring her nightgown (since Angela looked ravishing no matter what
she wore) she manifested her Dragon's wings, opened her window and took
flight, following her nose.
[-*-]
Lina dreamed as well.
Her dream, as she had the best night's sleep in the softest bed
imaginable, was to be having the best night's sleep in the softest bed
imaginable. Sleep within sleep. Probably impossible, but her mind was
more than willing to ignore that fact, and just enjoy the dream.
The quest was going well. She was hungry, but the quest was exceeding
all expectations. Things were coming up roses. And all of it ending, at
the moment, in this nice, soft bed she could sleep in. If only people
would stop bugging her.
"I'm so happy to be going with you!!" Luck said, perching on her
bedrest, watching Lina sleep. "It's going to be such fun!!! Isn't it
great how all the wingless want to follow you? The world is a cold dark
place that hates me! WAAAAAAH!!"
"I don't think they'll be happy to see you," Myth said, hanging, for
some reason, on Lina's bookshelf. "We didn't part on the best of terms..."
"Go away. Sleeping," Lina reminded them, pulling the covers over her
head.
"Anoooo, Lina?" Gourry's voice said. "You can't just hide away like
this. We can't just hole up when something bad comes along... what
happened to the good 'ol Lina Inverse?"
And then, a new voice.
"I guess there's nothing innately wrong with living carefree," a
familiar voice mused.
Lina peeked out from her covers. Zelgadis was squatting by the
nightstand, looking concerned.
"I'm simply worried there'll come a time when the other shoe is gonna
drop, and you won't be ready for it," he continued. "Not in the
slightest."
"Didn't we already have this conversation?" Lina groaned. "Like,
months ago? I'm trying to SLEEEEP!!"
"You can't just hide away," Gourry reminded, from his position on the
other side of Lina's bed.
"Things get messy, but you manage to get serious just in time, and
eventually everything's fine despite it all," Zelgadis noted. "Like you
were born under a lucky star. A lucky star. There'll come a time when the
other shoe is gonna drop..."
"You said that already!" Lina protested. "Shut up! I get the point!
It doesn't matter now. This is an easy quest. It's been a breeze and a
half, maybe even a little fun. I've got wings, I filled a prophecy but
it's not looking as bad as I thought. Nothing is going wrong!"
"Things CAN go wrong," her own voice said.
Lina whirled around, to find herself with white hair lying next to her.
"Sometimes you think things are okay when things have already gone
wrong and you're just the aftermath," Lina Inversed said, a quiet voice.
"Sometimes bad things happen and you think it's all gone when really it's
not. Sometimes bad things happen and you don't know until you see what
happened after the bad things. Sometimes bad things happen and you can't
do anything to stop them. Sometimes bad things are happening right now and
you'll never know until it's too late. Sometimes you're smiling when you
don't know about the bad things that are happening right now and you'll--"
"Shut UP!" Lina demanded, covering her ears, closing her eyes.
"Everything is fine! I'm good 'ol Lina and everything is fine!!"
"You can't just hide away like this," Gourry reminded her, again and
again.
In frustration, Lina yanked her sheets aside, and got up to march out
of the room. She stomped along, in her pajamas, her wings manifesting
again in her sheer annoyance behind her, as she opened the front door -- to
the closet.
Xelloss was inside, blinking a few times, as if confused. "You're
dreaming about a hotel room? Strange. Nice wings, by the way, good to see
you have them at last--"
"Just say your vague, meaningful speech and get out of my way," Lina
requested coldly.
"What, you think... ohh, okay," the priest said, smiling. "Hark and
beware and such. There are nasty things afoot."
"That's what the others said, too."
"Really? My, you must have some natural feel for things," Xelloss
laughed. Then his face snapped serious. Eyes open. "Lina, there are
people plotting against you. Several of them. You need to know this,
because they're all going to take action soon."
"And I suppose when I ask who, you'll go 'That is a secret?'" Lina
said, rolling her eyes.
"This is too important to joke around about, actually. If..." Xelloss
said.. before his eyes turned distant, gazing at something far away. "I
have to go, he's about to find the gate. Sorry. Trust no one except
Gourry. And myself, naturally."
The trickster priest vanished without a trace, leaving an empty closet
behind where the door should have been.
Lina turned, to face the other visions. They weren't saying anything;
watching her, just watching her.
"Anyone else with commentary?" she asked. The visions vanished into
vapor.
Satisfied, Lina went back to her dream bed, to sleep in it while she
slept in her bed, and maybe add another layer of dream-embedding to make up
for lost rest. But before she could get there, a thunderclap rocked her
room once, twice, th--
*knock knock*
Lina's mind jerked back to the original bed, wide awake, as someone
knocked on her door. Taking seriously the idea of ripping the head off
whoever interrupted her, Lina flew (literally) to the door, wings flapping,
and yanked it open--
Damn, they got away.
She glanced around, up, left, right, down-- ah, a note. She opened it
and read.
'I hear you're having a cash flow problem,
not to mention a food supply problem!
Maybe we can work something out. Meet
me in the storage room behind the bar in
ten minutes. --CTC'
There was no helping it; she was awake now. But she wasn't angry
enough to blindly march down into what could be a trap. Forcing her wings
to unmanifest, she pulled on some loose clothing, put on her cape, and went
to go wake Gourry up.
[-*-]
Outside, in the forest, a man with bad back posture was hunched over a
campfire, trying to light damp wood with non-flinty rocks.
"Soditall, soditall.." he cursed. "Damn wood won't light. 'course I'd
'ave to be lighting the most pathetic wood in fifty miles, 'course it's the
only spare wood I could find... bugger it all if this ain't a lousy day and
a half..."
A woman cleared her throat.
Bugger spun, readying a handful of topsoil as a weapon, to face the
newcomer. "Whaddyawant?.. oh, damn. It's YOU."
"Mazoku," Angela recognized, her flowing nightgown and blonde hair
perfect in the moonlight. Many men would have died for beauty like that.
The ugly one didn't care. "I'm 'ere on fishal business," Bugger said.
"I ain't here to mess with no stinkin' Dragons. Push off, or we're gonna
do the bloody mambo, girly girl."
"And I am here on official business as well," Angela smiled, a calming
smile. "In fact, I wouldn't doubt that we're both here on the same
business..."
"You gonna fight or just talk in Dragon riddles?"
"Fight? Heavens, no. I am a gentle soul who only seeks the
preservation of life. Although..."
"Get on with it, gel!"
"The one called Lina Inverse," Angela said. "Your orders are likely to
destroy her, yes?"
"Inconvenience," Bugger said, relaxing somewhat. Somewhat. "I don't
kill. I can kill, t'aint my specialty. I screw people over, I ruin their
lives, I make 'em sorry they was ever born. That style of thing."
"How ideal!" Angela said, clapping once in appreciation.
"Ideal for what, lizard lips?"
"Ideal for our task, of course," Angela said. "Lina Inverse must be
stopped. I suppose I alone could do it, but it would be risky. I suppose
you along could do it, but it would be uncertain--"
"I'll stop 'er."
"Really? You alone?"
"I gots plans," Bugger grinned.
"How about if we... share plans?" Angela suggested.
This knocked the Mazoku of Bad Days for a loop. "What're you implying,
scaly?"
Angela smoothly waltzed over to Bugger, turning the charm up higher.
"I want her stopped. You to as well. We're far into the field, away from
our superiors... who's to know if a Dragon and a Mazoku ensure that their
single cause is carried out?"
"Why do I need you?" Bugger asked.
"I see things happening one of two ways," Angela counted, on two
fingers. "One, we could try individually, and if we both fail -- it's
possible, even if doubtful -- it could mean the end of everything for us.
This Lina is capable of leading her pathetic little species to toppling
your thrones, you know."
"HAH! That'll be the day. What--"
"Two," Angela continued, "We could work together, crush her spirit with
your skills and empower her enemies with mine, and end this silly business
once and for all. Then, upon returning to our superiors, you can claim
full credit. AND I can claim full credit. Neither will believe the other
side had a hand in accomplishing the task, and our places in line are
assured. Can you think of the promotions possible for saving your race
from this new threat of the wingless?"
Bugger swallowed that one, regurgitated it, played with it and
swallowed again. "S'got a certain appeal..." he admitted. "Although I
still think you Dragons are an uptight bunch of self righteous bastards, of
course. But we could work a bit together, a bit..."
"And likewise, the Mazoku are filthy, depraved beasts with no manners
or common sense," Angela smiled. "But I am a woman of compromise and
diplomacy. And politics, definitely politics."
"So what've you got in mind to do away with the little human
once'n'fer'all?" the Mazoku asked, curious.
"The wheels are already turning," the Dragon said. "We'll just give
them a bit of a nudge in the right direction..."
[-*-]
Gourry was happy to be woken up, it seems.
"I can't stand those beds," he complained. "They're just too soft.
You don't feel like you're lying down on anything. You know what was a
great bed? The one in my room as a kid. My dad made it himself with
straw, hay and canvas! I guess we had to get rid of it when the bugs got
too aggressive, though."
"Who's CTC?" Lina wondered aloud, reading the note as the two walked
across the relatively quiet casino floor. The only people gambling this
late at night were the truly desperate. "Any deal that sounds too good to
be true probably is, but..."
"Don't worry, I'll protect you if it's a trap," Gourry said.
"I can protect myself, Gourry."
"If you can, then why am I tagging along with you like this for so
long?"
Lina stopped in her tracks.
"What?" she asked.
"Well, the thought just occurred to me..." Gourry mumbled, almost
apologetically for interrupting. "If you really don't NEED me around, why
do you have me come along on quests and stuff? I mean... thought just
occurred to me, and..."
Lina thought about that for all of two seconds before deciding not to
think about it anymore.
"Enough nonsense," she said. "Stay sharp. Who knows what we're
walking into here?"
"Good point," Gourry said, getting his sword out. He got on one side
of the door, Lina on the other. "Ready?"
Lina nodded, and twisted the doorknob, opening--
*HONK HONK*
"Yaaaa!!" Gourry shrieked in surprise, neatly bisecting.. the clown's
hair.
"Whooaaa, easy on the trigger, mister!" Chuckles the Clown laughed.
"This hair isn't cheap, you know. Don't worry, I'll take it out of
tonight's stakes."
Lina looked around in surprise. In the back room of the Bigtop Bigtop
was a single gaming table, and a lantern to supply just enough light to see
the game in progress. A rack of chips, several game coins, a clown,
chairs, and that was the extent of the furnishings.
"What's this all about, clown?" Lina said, not in an insulting way.
"A good samaritan deed!" Chuckles said. "You're out of money. You
can't buy food. In the interest of being a Good Neighbor, I'll allow you
to put something of yours up for bid, so that you might perhaps get some
money back. A simple game of Coins will suffice. Does this interest you?"
Gourry was confused. "But we already have food--"
"Sounds good here!" Lina said, hopping into a player's chair.
"Ne, but Lina, you're bad at this game," Gourry reminded.
"Once. It was a fluke," Lina said. "But I used to kick a lot of ass
at this back home. I'm ready!"
"Aaaaah, first an exchange," Chuckles said, gesturing. "Say... your
sword, for some starting money?"
Lina fingered the hilt of her butterfly-design sword. "Ah.. this is
sort of mine--"
"Exchange it, or I will help you not," Chuckles declared. "You'll win
it back anyway, besides, mmmm?"
Gourry eyed the funny happy silly clown with suspicion. "Lina, I don't
think this is a good idea..."
"Eh, it can't hurt, can it?" Lina said, removing her sword. "It's just
some sword I bought, anyway. I can get another. And I won't have to. I'm
going to WIN!"
[-*-]
Coins glittered as they fell onto the green felt, one by one...
Lina sat, mesmerized, waiting for the last one to finish spinning and
fall over... as heads.
"Ohhhh dear," Chuckles chuckled. "I'm afraid under the rule
modifications for odd-numbered hours, that makes that a three. Which means
you lose again. Funny, I thought you were good at this game?"
"Grrmgrmrrrrgg," Lina cheerfully snarled.
"I do believe that means you're broke," Chuckles said, sweeping up the
five coins into his palm, for another throw. "Which means perhaps it's
time to ante up another of your belongings, to continue and maybe win your
sword back...?"
"But Lina doesn't have anything right now other than the clothes on her
back," Gourry observed.
"Hmmm! We could start there!" Chuckles giggled.
Lina glared evil flaming death at Gourry. "I am NOT going to play
Strip Coins! I'll ante Gourry up instead."
"Whaaa?!" Gourry said.
"Hrm. What's his market value?" Chuckles asked. "I don't think one
slightly used swordsman would go for much on the open market..."
"Just toss the coins, please, double or nothing," Lina said.
The clown gave a shrug, and let the coins fly...
Gourry snatched one out of the air before it hit the felt.
"Now hold on a minute here," he said. "We can talk about this
reasonably. If... heyyy, wait a minute..."
"Ah.. I believe that's enough gambling for tonight. Your swordsman
ante is unacceptable," Chuckle said quickly. "Thank you for playing--"
"How come this coin has two heads?" Gourry asked, examining both sides
of the coin. "I'm not a smart man, but I'm pretty sure in games like this
they're supposed to have different heads. Otherwise, you've got no Luck at
all! Right?"
Lina knocked the table over with Surprising Strength, sending the
offending clown (and Gourry) sprawling.
"What's the big idea?!" she demanded. "You're trying to CON me, aren't
you?"
"Nonsense! I... I..... heh," Chuckles started to chuckle. "Heh, heh.
Ha ha... HA HA HA! AHAAHHHAAAAHAHAHHAA--"
"Oh, great," Lina groaned, smacking her forehead. "I know that laugh.
You're a villain, aren't you, Chuckles?"
The clown got to his feet, pointing at Lina. "Foolish little
sorceress! We knew of you when you set foot in here. But we planned, oh
yes, we planned! We've got your friends, Miss and Lady, and they're
hostage at our base of operations... one word from me, and my minions will
kill them, and we finally can take over this Casino and run it with crooked
games! No more big winners, ONLY big losers! For we are... the CLOWNS OF
DEATH!"
Lina blinked.
She restrained a giggle.
Then she didn't bother restraining it.
"HEEEHEHEHEEHEeeee!!!" Lina laughed. "Oh, that is RICH! That's got to
be the funniest name for a bandit gang I've heard in years. 'The Clowns of
Death!' What a joke!"
"Hey... we're some bad dudes, I'll have you know!" Chuckles said. "I
may jest about and talk in riddles and wear face makeup, but I'm a stone
killer who--"
"FIREBALL!"
A blast of flames, encapsulated in an orange ball, flared out of Lina's
hands and blasted Chuckles the Clown through three walls before he arced
gracefully through the air and into a rock.
"I never did trust that clown," Gourry said.
"C'mon, Gourry, let's go mop up some bandits," Lina said, tightening
her gloves, retrieving her sword from the wreckage of the dealer's table.
"At least this isn't going to be a problem. What a bunch of--"
"Clowns?"
"I was going to say idiots," Lina coughed.
"Clowns is funnier."
"It's an obvious pun!"
"That's what makes it funny," Gourry said.
"Less joking. More slaughter," Lina suggested. She picked her way
through the rubble, and the pair made off for the forest.
[-*-]
The scene at the Almost Well Hidden Fortress of the Clowns of Death
needs to be described in parts.
From overhead, it looks like a very basic bandit camp, made with a high
wooden fence, a few guard towers, dense forest for protection (and also
very good at hiding attackers), and mounted next to a hill, in which you
have a cave to store belongings.
Mind you, the entire affair had been decorated in brightly colored
paper streamers and paint, with cheerful balloons hanging from every fence
post and there was the occasional sound of a whoopie cushion instead of
manly brawling. But it was still a bandit hideout.
In the courtyard, dozens of heavily armed clowns are freely frolicking,
celebrating the capture of the Lady who owned the Casino. Soon, it would
all be theirs, once their boss deals with that bandit hunter! We don't
care about these guys, so let's move on.
In the cave, two women are tied up in classic damsel in distress
excessive amounts of rope, seated back to back. Myth is there, sulking
because she was recently captured with depressing ease. She was trying to
be a team player, rather than a passive writer this round, but she was able
to put up as much resistance to the bandits that broke into her room as a
candle can put up in the face of a typhoon. Luck, who is tied to her, is
in full bipolar bear mode, wailing in lamentation at her fate; fortunately,
the clowns had enough sense to put a gag on her. Both are awaiting some
kind of rescue.
In the forest, their rescue is waiting to attack. Lina and Gourry have
found a good vantage point, hidden high in the trees, to observe the
complex. They're already planning the assault, based on the blueprints for
the place, which are highly standard. It was like a football play. Lina
would cause some random destruction around the compound with lobbed
fireballs (avoiding the cave itself), and while bandits were running around
in confusion, Gourry would make a beeline for the cave, slashing anything
in his way. Once there, he would free the hostages and head straight out;
Lina would have invaded the compound by then, ready to provide cover fire.
Once safely away, you Dragon Slave the site from a distance, head home,
have a victory dinner and go to bed.
And definitely not to be left out is the scene on top of the large hill
overlooking the compound, where a dirty little puke of a man and a graceful
lady of the night were observing the entire situation. And waiting.
"Are you certain the charms you have placed will work?" Angela asked
her companion.
"Guaranteed 100% effective, miss," Bugger grinned. He enjoyed his work
a great deal. "A little bad luck here and there, a little accident or two
and the whole plan comes tumbling down. How about you?"
"I am stimulating their sense of glory," Angela said. "None will stop
fighting, ever. For the honor of the Clowns of Death and the beauty and
power of their leader, they will be twice as ruthless."
"Not a bad combo, if I do say so myself," Bugger said, fishing a nasty
dog-end of a cigarette out from the black hole behind his ear. He took out
a book of matches, constantly striking without getting a flame. "Now we
just watch the shambles, and wait for Lina to go running to the horizon, a
total failure."
[-*-]
The plan started...
...Lina selected five strike zones for the first wave of fireballs.
Two guard towers, knocking out half of their observation powers and making
the other half run for cover for fear of being next. She cast, and cast;
BOOM, BOOM, wood blew apart like matchsticks, a dozen whoopie cushions
exploding in noisy cacophony.
"Now?" Gourry asked, his sword drawn.
"Onesec," Lina bit off, quick, two more fireballs floating in, quick as
time, into the heart of the crowd. The second took out the main gates,
blasting it into so much brightly colored shrapnel. Beautiful. And one
more, she tossed it off easily--
The fireball skewed off to the side, caught in an unfortunately timed
and unusually strong wind, and exploded at the mouth of the cave,
collapsing the entrance.
"Hey!" Gourry said. "I needed to go through there!"
"...accident," Lina said. "Hurry. We have to act fast. Improvise
when you get there! Break!"
...Gourry made a break for the compound's entrance, which was flaming
driftwood from the explosions. He slashed at any clowns that got in his
way, moving speedily--
"Death to the infidel!" clowns shouted. "The holy war against the
unfunny has begun! Stop him, even if it means your deaths!"
And the clowns were on him thick as thieves, which they technically
were, in an occupational sense. Gourry worked doubletime, trying to plow
through the thick of them, struggling to make it to the cave.
...Lina started her invasion, expecting to step through disabled
bandits left in Gourry's wake, only to find many very active bandits
rushing her.
She shot off a few Flare Arrows to deal with them, getting her new
sword ready. She was still a bit rusty with it, but it was really the best
thing for close infighting.
...finally, having reached the cave entrance, Gourry had to figure out
how to clear that much rubble out of the way. He was a resourceful lad,
though, and had the answer soon. Unlatching the metal blade from his sword
handle, he chanted the summoning.
"LIGHT COME FORTH!"
And the Sword of Light, the TRUE sword he carried, shone as bright as
the sun. He made a series of cuts at the rocks, slashing his way through
the debris, careful not to cause more cave-in.
Success! He had a clear path. Crawling into the dark cave, he spotted
the two women who were overjoyed to see him, and jogged briskly over to
free them--
And stepped on, of all things, a banana peel one of the clowns had
unthinkingly left out right where Gourry was going to be putting his foot
down. He flipped over backwards, his head smacking hard against a rock
which was unfortunately placed right where his head was going to land.
Unconscious.
Myth groaned. So much for the rescue party.
...WHERE was Gourry?!
Lina continued to hold the bandits at bay, but this wasn't going to
last forever. They needed to be going, so they could safely dispose of
this den of bad humor from a distance. But nothing was going right. The
clowns were suddenly zealous fanatics from beyond common sense, Gourry was
taking his sweet time... what ELSE could possibly go wrong?
The clown princes of crime eased off, for some reason. Swords drawn,
still menacing, but now.. smiling. Why? Some joke Lina wasn't in on?--
"GRRORORORORLLL!!!!" an animal snarled behind her. Lina turned to
look. Someone had let the nice kitty out of its invisible cage in the
Casino, and boy was it hungry for a little sorceress snack.
[-*-]
Angela watched in pure delight as everything went totally haywire.
"Bravo, bravo!" she clapped, as one might clap for a fine opera
performance. "I simply adored that last touch."
"I 'erd her ask The Question in her mind," Bugger grinned evilly. "I
never turns down a challenge, see that I don't."
"Soon, they will be dead or discouraged or both, and we can be on our
way," Angela smiled. "I believe this calls for a--"
Then the universe shook under their feet, a golden wave of power
brushing past their souls--
Recovering her balance quickly, Angela was thrown into sharp relief.
"What was that? That was no magic I know of!"
Staring on in disbelief, Bugger pointed slowly at the scene below
them. "It can't be... DAMMIT! This is ruining my perfectly good
ruination!!"
"What? What is it?"
"It's those blasted wingless!"
[-*-]
"It sure is lucky that Gourry dropped his Sword of Light right where
you could reach it and cut our ropes, Myth-san!!!" Luck burbled, keeping
the sword at arm's length, as she defended Myth, who was dragging a snoozy
Gourry out of the cave. "And boy, it's lucky that I know how to use a
sword at masterful levels that can split insects in flight!! TEE HEE!
Now, what do we do about all these not-nice people?"
"We can't be lucky enough to deal with all of them," Myth said.
"Ummmm...."
Casting out with her Talents, she sought a story, anything she could
anchor onto and tug in her directions, guided by the pen...
...a regiment of soldiers, returning from a foreign war, only a few
roads away. They were tired and sleepy, but...
Myth wrote furiously, propping her book on Gourry's head.
"'The Tale of The Brave Cavalry of Section 303!'" she announced, pen
scratching madly. "'Once there was a group of proud fighting men,
returning home from a victory overseas. These were brave, stout-hearted
men, who would right any wrong, and defend the innocent from harm.
Somehow, as fortune would have it--'"
"HIYAH!" Luck shouted, slashing at two clowns that came within slaying
distance. "Don't worry 'bout me, continue!"
"'--they happened to hear the sounds of a massive fight, drifting
across the winds,'" Myth continued, sweating slightly from unnerved nerves,
hurrying. "'Despite fatigue, they had heard the call of the valiant. They
changed directions as fast as possible and ran and ran and HURRIED UP
ALREADY to get to the source of the noise, and lo, they saw hundreds of
bandits assaulting three beautiful women and a swordsman! With a battle
cry of--'"
"TO ARMS, GENTLEMEN, TO ARMS!" the captain wailed, drawing his sword,
as the horses--
"'--charged into the ruined camp, swiftly crushing any resistance--'"
The sounds of war echoed all around them, sword on sword, grunts of
anger; but the clowns stood no chance. Myth squinted to see through the
fray, spotting Lina.
"'--they also got the large tiger off of the underdeveloped sorceress,
um, keeping it as a company pet from then on so they would take it with
them and definitely away from here, and task done, the captain
congratulated them, saying--'"
"Well done, lads! You're all getting bonuses when we return!"
"'--and there was much rejoicing.'"
"Yaaaaay," the soldiers cheered.
Silence.
"Oh, sorry," Myth apologized. "'The End.'"
The soldiers formed up, and marched out of the camp, leaving only the
crackle of flames to mark their passing.
[-*-]
Upstairs, Bugger was pissed.
"Don't it just FIGURE?" he grumbled. "SODITALL! Here I was, starting
to have a really good day, and it all just dumps on me. Typical,
typical... shoulda seen it coming. Should have bloody well seen it
coming!"
Angela tapped her foot, brow furrowing. "These wingless are more of a
danger than we realized. If they have such power--"
"We'll crush 'em!" Bugger proclaimed, stamping his foot. "Rip their
friggin' wings off their back, if they had any! C'mon, we gotta retreat
and plan round two. I ain't lettin' this defeat me!"
"Nor am I," Angela. "Not after that. We cannot rest until Lina is
stopped from gathering these... THINGS together."
Mazoku and Dragon withdrew, into the darkness.
[-*-]
A small party of tired adventurers walked out of the forest that night,
shadows slumping along in the moonlight.
"Big cat," Lina repeated, twitching occasionally. "Big cat. Big
cat..."
"I don't get it. What happened?" Gourry asked. "Was I asleep? I hope
I didn't mess everything up..."
"My hand has cramps," Myth complained.
"Aww, CHEER UP!!!" Luck demanded. "It's been a nifty wifty trip so far
and oh BOY OH BOY I can't wait to continue it with you nice people! Just
think of the adventures we'll get into, and all the clever traps we'll
escape and the bad guys we'll overcome!! And with Luck, we'll-- what's that
you have there, Leeeeeena? Looks like a jelly--"
With an inrush of air and a wet sucking noise, Luck was slurped into
the mystic Man-Trap of Fa Chu. Lina looked at the frozen little picture of
Lady Luck, satisfied, and stuffed the jar into her pack with the others.
"Anybody have objections to shutting her up for the duration of our
trip?" she asked those assembled.
Nobody said anything.
"Right. It's settled, then," Lina nodded. "For now, back to the
hotel. And then... Myth, please tell me your next friend isn't as crazy as
she was."
"Oh, of course not!" Myth said quickly.
"Good."
"He's much worse," she added.
TO BE CONTINUED