Sent to the List, per your request in post 1.



Well, didn't find any glaring grammer errors...  ^_^

Pretty good.  I was a little dissapointed in the fact that the 'changed'
Kuno isn't really seen, since you gloss over his Amazon training days, and
most flashback space is devoted to baka-Kuno.  However, since this *is* a
prelude, and not the main fic, I'm guessing that you'll fit Kuno's
development into new-Kuno in the main story somehow (flashback, old Amazon
crone telling a tale, whatever). 

In any case, I feel that it'd be a mistake to 'drop' new-Kuno on everyone
without explination. 

I liked how you merged the flashbacks into the fic, helping to reinforce
the story, instead of blatantly writing ***FLASHBACK!!!!!(WARNING!!!)***
and disrupting the reader's train of thought.  I really wish that more
people would do that.

Could I PLEASE get some more feedback on this from someone? I know it's
a revision, but it's been changed fairly extensively, and I really need
to know how well it works before it gets sent off to RAAC.

I normally write C&C when I've the time, but I figure that the 'big names'
on the FFML usually get tons of C&C, so I try to devote most of my
critique to those who wouldn't normally get as much notice.  I'll do the
rest of the preludes as well, if you want.

-Natsume Ranma Ranma
-------
The sardines weren't worth the trouble.  A few more shots, then 
Ryoga-san would overheat and explode.  Ducking around a corner, 
I managed to lose him as I entered the ramshackle residence of 
my Anime supplier.

One look at his face and I knew that I was betrayed.  "Tell me."
I insisted.  He refused, so I slammed him against the wall.
"Last chance.  Where can Ranma-Ranma find good fanfics?"
"Try Jason Liao." he whispered, before he slumped to the floor.
I heard the sounds of a door splintering as I left through the 
window, one step ahead of Tendo Heavy Industries...