First of all, I would like to apologise.  After I read Lurker's rant against
tiresome 'fic requests, I couldn't help but feel guilty, since it seems that
my request was the proverbial straw that broke his back.  Anyhow, I figure the
best way to atone is with a bunch of C&C, something which I haven't bothered
with in a while.  So, here is the first piece of C&C in what will hopeful be a
number of posts.

-------------------------------
C&C for "A Cure for a Curse," by Shane Yang {Curse should be capitalised, btw}

<<Prelude: The calm before the storm

	The scene of this story opens upon the town of Nerima, Japan. As the sun
broke through the clouds, another peaceful dawn arrived to greet the "eventful
town". As the early risers set out about their business, they all kept an ear
out towards the direction of the Tendo household. >>

{Saying, "The scene of this story" destracts from the actual introduction.
"eventful town" can be capitalised, but I don't think it works in this case.}

<<	The common thought on all their minds was: "what's going to set it off
today.">>

{Cliched and over-done.  Also, "What's" should be capitalised and the sentence
should end in a question mark.}

<<	Ranma Saotome wiped the cold water from her eyes as she shook off the
effects of another rude awakening, ignoring the threats and curses of the big
man standing beside she.>>

{...standing beside *her*.}

<<	Whatever drowsiness left in Ranma evaporated when she realized what her
father was trying to do.>>

{...drowsiness *was* left}

<<Genma had moved his body so that her foot would hit an area of "padding"
instead of the central pressure point she was aiming for.>>

{I could be mistaken, but I think you're over-using quotation marks.
"padding" doesn't really need them.}

<<	"It's not over yet, I can still take you on one leg, " Ranma shouts out as
she shoots up from the futon and out of the reach of Genma's fist. She used
her arms to push off the bed and awkwardly sumersaulted out the open window.

{Ranma *shouted* out as she *shot*...  Make sure you stay in one tense}

<<As she looked into his father's eyes, Ranma "felt" his father's
superiority.>>

{Again, I could be wrong, but I don't think "felt" should be in quotes}

<<The attack was against all of her regular strategies. Ranma is known for
quickness and agility. >>

Stay in one tense.

{Pretty much the same problems/mistakes past that first passage.  I liked the
characterization in that passage, by the way.  Though the fight was a bit
drawn-out, it was easy to visualise.  A good fight scene is hard to write, I
hear.}

<<	Ranma once again felt the loneliness of being on top. Once a martial artist
has attained a certain level, it is really hard to find the motivation to push
ahead to the next. He knew that he had shot past two or three of those levels
in Nerima because he was pressed, because he had to save his own life and the
lives of those around him. Yesterday's fight with Genma had perhaps served to
push him past this present level, it surely rekindled his fire for martial
arts. >>

{I like this paragraph and the whole concept of "loneliness of being on top."}

<<"Hello everybody, my name is Ju and I am your new principle, " he anonunced
in a high voice as he picked up Kuno's sword. "I want to see you two in my
office, " Ju said as he stared at Ranma and Akane. "The rest of you, get to
class. NOW!" >>

{Ju seems awfully powerful... Comes dangerously close to be a cliched, over-
powered, new character.}

<<	"No, he just mysteriously disappeared again. No one knows where he's gone
off to, " Ju explained as he turned the gaze from the kids towards the window.

{A tropial latitude more suited to his unique tastes has my guess.}

<<	There temporary seperation was due to the trial system that Ju had just
instated. Students were split into two groups: those that were college bound
and those that weren't. Ranma's previous marks placed him in the latter
category.>>

{Man, that's harsh.  It should be "Their temporary separation...had just
instituted."}

<<	"My name is Seiji Bing, I've wanted to meet you for the last year now Ranma
Saotome. Tales of your adventures have reached all the way to Osaka. My desire
to see you increased with each impossible victory you pulled out," said the
boy.>>

{Run!  It's the dreaded onslaught of new characters!  You may want to go easy
on the new characters...}

<<	"I've gotten used to having my head on my shoulders. I want to keep it."

	Their smiles were even nicer now. From far away they looked like two old
friends reunited.>>

{I liked that exchange.}

<<	"I didn't expect you to try and take my head off either. I forgave you for
the wedding incident and for your attempt to kill me. I realize that you were
acting in the heat of the moment there," Ranma said as he rubbed a spot on his
neck where one of her spatulas had nicked.>>

{Attempt to kill him?  I must have missed that... (note: that was sarcasm)}

<<	Nadoka stared at Genma and Soun as she voiced, "This seems to be the
perfect advertising for the dojo. Maybe somebody is trying to use Ranma to get
increased enrollment.">>

{Nodoka.  It's spelled, Nodoka.}

<<	"Just remember that I'm really a guy man. Don't get any thoughts in that
perverted head of yours." Ranma half joked half warned.>>

{...half-joked, half-warned.}

Fairly enjoyable read over all.  Sometimes you take too long to build up to
something, and you should go back and look over the punctuation again.
Spelling, for the most part was pretty good.  I'd suggest you don't make Akane
out to be overly violent.  Also, don't get overzealous with new characters.

~Mark