Chapter Five: The Trap

	All the necessary tools had been assembled, though he wasn�t quite sure 
how he was going to explain his borrowing all of the kitchen knives, to 
his mother.
	�I�ve been passive too long,� Gosunkugi thought to himself. �I can�t 
expect to get anything by just dreaming! This calls for action!�
	Despite these self-assurances, he was still doubtful of his dubious, 
�plan.� Such as, was it really wise to have knives drop on the net? 
Wasn�t that grounds for a murder charge?
	But, as usual, the thrill of planning had sent a rather large dose of 
endorphins to his brain. He tended to be a bit sketchy on the �reason� 
side of things, during this time period. And so, he was liable to take 
what some might label, �outrageous� action. Such as, dressing like Akane 
or painting himself to look like a balcony or slapping little paper 
dolls on peoples backs. But the opinions of others never really mattered 
much to him, except for in the case of Akane, of course. So he felt free 
to use any means necessary to accomplish his ultimate goal. After all, 
such things as �honor� and �respect,� were merely luxuries for the 
strong. So, this particular plan might seem a little harsh.... It was 
for a harsh person! Saotome Ranma was, without a doubt, the most 
horrible monster on the face of the planet. He had to be stopped at any 
cost, for Akane�s sake! She�d understand later. Why did he have a bad 
feeling about all this?
	�Hmm,� he muttered, �I�ve already tied the net in place... I guess I�ll 
start attaching the knives now... It�s a good thing I found a big enough 
tree.�
	Climbing up the tree was the hard part. It wasn�t so difficult, when he 
tied the net to the �trigger branch,� because that was pretty close to 
the ground. The knives, however, would have to be hung from pretty high 
up, if they were to gain any velocity. An average person would have no 
trouble getting up there, the tree had lots of branches, but this was 
Gosunkugi. Not only that, this was Gosunkugi recovering from an illness. 
So, it was a couple hours until he finally reached his destination. Then 
he wished that he had thought to actually bring the knives _with_ him.

	He had started in the morning, but it wasn�t until sundown, that he 
actually finished. Soaking from sweat, he viewed his handiwork. It 
was... a work of art. 
	�Now there�s only the matter of the bait,� he mused. He would have to 
go back home to get that... He had some time, it was still a few minutes 
to the appointed hour. He took out a particularly good shot of his 
goddess, that he had framed, from his pocket and smiled at it 
reverently.
	�Don�t worry,� he whispered, �soon, you�ll be free.�
	Quickly, he rushed to his house, fighting off exhaustion as much as he 
could. Once there, he ran to his room, and tore his blanket off of the 
huge lump in the middle of the floor, revealing the previous night�s 
work. It was a straw doll... The biggest he had ever made! Fully 
life-size, it was clothed in a black gi, and wore a kendo mask, to cover 
its utter lack of human features.
	�It�s time, my pretty,� Gosunkugi mumbled to himself, a sickly grin 
forming on his face. �Together, we shall defeat him!�

	Gosunkugi only wished, that he had factored in the weight of the doll 
to his initial plans. Carrying it, was slowing him down immensely. It 
was possible that he wouldn�t make it!
	�Come on!� he grunted. �Just a little farther!� He was almost there! 
Saotome hadn�t shown up yet, he was sure of it! He clenched his eyes 
shut and strained with all his might, actually breaking out into a jog! 
Then, suddenly something knocked him on the head, sending him sprawling 
to the ground.

	Ranma examined the letter in his hands carefully. �Meet me under the 
big tree on Kore Street, at eight,� it read. There, we will battle to 
see who�s school is superior. Sincerely, Kago of the School of Martial 
Arts Basket Weaving.�
	�Well, this is the place, anyway,� he commented to himself, looking at 
the aforementioned �big tree.� Immediately, he saw the _unhidden_ net, 
beneath it.
	�Who would set such an obvious trap?� he wondered. Then, it dawned on 
him. 
	�Oh, Gosunkugi.�
	He was about to turn and walk away, when he heard a commotion from down 
the street.

	Three burly fellows dressed like... mimes stood leering over Gosunkugi.
	�Well, what do we have here?� mocked the first one, tapping the wooden 
cane he had knocked the boy down with.
	�I think we have someone who wants to pass, boss,� suggested one of his 
henchmen.
	�Oh, really? Well, in that case, he�ll have to pay a toll! How about 
it, shrimp? Fork over the cash!�
	�I... I... d-don�t have any m-money on me,� whimpered Gosunkugi, hiding 
behind his oversized doll. He wished he hadn�t strung up _all_ the 
knives. Not that having one would do _him_ much good, on second thought.
	�I think he�s lying!� accused the third mime.
	�Lying, eh?� grinned the leader. �Lying is a sin that must be 
punished!�
	The mugger mime rose his cane up high. Gosunkugi found he could only 
shut his eyes and throw his hands up in the air, in a desperate attempt 
to block the inevitable blow.
	�Oi!� cried a familiar voice. �You shouldn�t bully the weak, you know!�
	Gosunkugi slowly opened his eyes, it was... Ranma.
	�Heh, this kid looks like he�d have more on him, anyway,� declared the 
leader of the gang. �Get him!�
	What ensued, is not necessary to record. Obviously, Ranma beat the 
living crap out of them, yadda, yadda, yadda...
	Ranma brushed his hands, as the three mimes moaned in the pile he had 
made out of them. Gosunkugi stared in shock. Ranma had saved him... 
Again, actually, there was a previous incident, also involving rther 
silly looking attackers... But, Ranma had saved him after he had planned 
to... Gosunkugi began to laugh bitterly, as tears streaked down his 
face. That was it... That was his last support broken...
	�Hey, what�s wrong with you?� asked Ranma, noticing his state.
	Gosunkugi looked up at him. �You win,� he said, and flung the framed 
picture of his goddess at his direction. At the direction of the devil 
himself.
	The martial artist caught it easily, and looked at it with a confused 
glance.
	�What would I want a picture of that uncute tomboy for?!� he asked, but 
when he looked up, Gosunkugi was already running away. �Hey!� he called. 
�Where are you going?!�
	Getting no reply, Ranma merely shrugged and walked away, glancing down 
at the picture every once in awhile.

	The mime gang rubbed their bruises, and picked themselves up.
	�Ah, boss,� groaned one of the henchmen, �that kid really gave us a 
beating.�
	�Remember, this is all for Naku-chan!� declared their leader. �My own 
little sister, was traumatized for life, when that creep stole her 
bento! I�m willing to do anything, even forsake the sacred mime way and 
become a common street thug, who speaks constantly, to pay for her 
psychiatry bill!�
	�Boss!� the two henchmen cried, moved to tears. If only people were 
more willing to pay street mimes...
	The three walked determinedly through the night, until they were 
suddenly flung into the air, trapped in a net hanging from a tree.
	�Eh? What�s this?!� they screamed, struggling to escape the net.
	Then they heard the sound of objects falling...
	Gosunkugi�s trap, had worked perfectly.

	Gosunkugi�s run slowed down to a walk, as he once again, aimlessly 
wandered through the streets of Nerima.
	�Dammit,� he thought, �he�s still a jerk, but he�s not a monster... I 
can�t pretend that any more. And if he really loves her...,� which all 
the evidence he had seen before, led him to conclude.
	�Ah, well,� he thought, as he passed a dark ally way. �At least it 
can�t get any worse than this...�
	Suddenly, he felt a sharp pain across his neck, and then all he saw, 
was darkness.

To be continued...

Next time: Blood, pain, death, horror, comedy! Who is this fluffy little 
guy and why is he so mean? Kuno gets some funny ideas in his head! The 
bandaged man revealed! Did I rip off �Lodoss War� or �Violinist of 
Hamelin� by putting an event later in the story, in the beginning? Will 
Ranma tap dance? What the fuck happened to Happosai? This preview makes 
no sense!


I hope you�ve read this far! I know this pretty much slowed down after 
the beginning, but that�s �foreshadowing,� y�know? I promise things will 
speed up and get more like the beginning, in the next installment. After 
all, this is really _supposed_ to be a parody of the �dark adventure� 
genre, so I might want to get some actual �dark adventure� in, eh? I 
wouldn�t have been able to write this, if it weren�t for the positive 
(well, mostly positive) responces, I got for my last fics. So, if you�re 
some sort of masachist or something, and actually want to read _more_ of 
this, please e-mail me at dilandau2@hotmail.com. Chippy�s sorry that he 
didn�t correct my grammar well enough. Chippy says it�s a very hard job 
to do. I don�t think that�s a good enough excuse. I think, Chippy�s 
gonna have to pay... Just remember, my stuff isn�t scary, �Blues Clues� 
is scary. That show scares the shit out of me!


Extra author's note (because I can!): I know what you're thinking. 
You're thinking, that even with the Totoro bit, this was nowhere near as 
disturbing as you thought it would be. Well, just you wait!

Editor's note: If we all band together, we can get this jerk deported.
                                                   -Chippy

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