For those of a Jewish descent, I'll say this first: neither the story
nor the title were meant to be offensive to Jewish people, so if it
does, please tell me and I'll apologize.  It just seemed like a good
idea at the time.

You know, this reminds me of a wonderful sign in Mel Brooks' "Robin Hood:
Men in Tights.": Circumsions, today only half off! Okay, it isn't that
wonderful.
"Priest."
"Rabbi."
"Whatever."