AUTHOR'S PRE-NOTES:

	No, this isn't the main HaM series. It IS being worked on, I
promise you. Meanwhile, the HaM Preludes are now in summer reruns.
Barring emergencies, vacations, or list outages, I plan to post one of
these every week.

	Why reruns? Because I've done substantial revisions on some of
these chapters since they were last seen here. I got a lot of excellent
suggestions from FFML, FFIRC, and other readers. I myself also noticed a
lot of things that could be improved; hopefully, this means my writing
skills have improved since I started this project.

	I plan to send each chapter off to RAAC a week after it's posted
here. Meanwhile, I'll be working on the main HaM series, and hopefully
this should give me enough lead time that I can begin posting it
immediately after I get through the sequence of preludes.

	If you have any comments or suggestions, major or minor, please
let me hear them within that amount of time. I prefer comments to be
sent to FFML, but private mail is also very welcome.

	Enjoy!

	WHAT HAS CHANGED SINCE THE LAST DRAFT: Um, quite a lot. A
prologue has been added and the rest of the beginning has been mostly
rewritten -- as has a good portion of the middle and end.

	Some continuity points are also changed: The future scenes are
seven years post-manga, not five (something I changed primarily because
I needed the kids to be older in HaM than they would've been). Nabby is
headed to a different school than she was before. Kuno now understands
Ranma's curse in the future scenes.




                                PROLOGUE

	The path he walked along led into a valley, framed on one side
by craggy-peaked mountains and by trees on the other. Irregularly-sized
pools of water, dotted with occasional patches of weeds, covered most of
the ground ahead. Two or three bamboo poles jutted out from each of
them, standing as bolt upright as the most finely disciplined army,
pointing upward toward the heavens. The early evening sun hung low in
the sky, its light reflecting from the pools in a brilliant glare.

	The Japanese name for the place was Jusenkyo, its Chinese name
Zhouquanshan. The cursed springs. It was exactly as the young Amazon who
had led him here had described. She had refused to travel the last few
kilometers with him, being understandably fearful of the dangers that
lay therein. She had known nothing as to what sort of perils he might
face here, and had given him only one piece of advice: *Don't fall in
the springs.* Even that was only something which she had heard from her
Amazon elders, and she had had no idea as to the reason behind it.

	No matter. His quest was clear. The woman he loved had to be
freed from the evil influence of this place. As a true warrior, he would
carry out that mission, or perish in the attempt. With stance firm, he
raised his weapon high and called out in the loudest voice he could
muster.

	"Hear me, guardians of this malignant wasteland! I, Kuno
Tatewaki, demand that you face me!"

	Tatewaki stepped a single pace forward as his shout echoed
through the valley. He could hear the steady, monotonous chirpings of
birds and insects behind him, and, from ahead, the barely audible
burbling of the water in the springs.

	"I come to free the Pig-Tailed Girl from your foul bewitchment!
Release her without delay from whatever maledictions you have imprecated
upon her, or you shall suffer my wrath! So swears the Blue Thunder,
erstwhile of Furinkan!"

	There was no answer. He stepped forward again, looking around
cautiously in all directions. It would not do to be ambushed. Whoever,
whatever the power that controlled this place was, it was obviously too
cowardly to fight him in an honorable battle. That was not surprising,
considering that it was evil enough to have used an innocent like the
Pig-Tailed Girl for its own twisted ends.

	Closer, ever closer he inched, until he stood at the edge of one
of the springs. He looked down; a reflection stared back up at him. He
dipped his bokken into the water, causing ripples to spread outward,
distorting the image of himself. He could feel the bottom of the pool,
but nothing else seemed to be contained within. Perhaps he had to check
each pool to find the one beneath which the guardian of the place lay
hidden.

	Leaves rustled from the trees behind him. He whirled around,
jerking his weapon back into his hands. Some small animal darted out of
the foliage, quickly scampering out of sight. For long minutes Tatewaki
peered towards the location from which it had come, all the while
keeping himself alert for attacks from any other direction, until he had
satisfied himself that there was nothing else there.

	Tatewaki felt a tightness in his throat and chest. He noticed
the intensity with which his heart pounded. It was not fear he felt.
Such cowardice would mark him as unworthy of his noble samurai heritage.
No, it was a feeling of... destiny. As though he were approaching a
critical moment in history, upon which depended not only his fate, not
only that of the Pig-Tailed Girl, but much, much more that he was yet to
be aware of.

	Tatewaki turned and stepped up to another pool. The guardians
had to be hiding somewhere nearby. He would find them.



		      HEARTS AND MINDS PRELUDE ONE
			  KUNO TATEWAKI: HOME

		       Ranma 1/2 manga fanfiction
			     by Gary Kleppe

	The characters of Ranma 1/2 are the creation of and rightful
property of Rumiko Takahashi. They are used here without permission.
This story may be freely redistributed, but it should not be altered
substantially or used for profit in any way.

				 ______


	"Sir? Sir?"

	"Wha--" The deslolate landscape of Jusenkyo dissolved into the
brightly-lit interior of an airplane, as Tatewaki felt himself jostled
awake. A flight attendant stood beside his chair; all the other seats
were empty.

	"I'm sorry to wake you, sir, but we've landed in Tokyo."

	"I see. Thank you." Tatewaki stood. After pausing for a second
to clear his head, he walked forward through the large cabin, soon
arrivng at the exit doorway. Another attendant bid him goodbye, as he
stepped onto the covered ramp towards the terminal.

	The dream had been very vivid. The images of Jusenkyo were still
fresh in his mind, as if he had actually been there. Which he had -- but
not since several years ago. It had been a different time, a different
Kuno Tatewaki.

	He made his way through the crowded corridors. It would be a few
minutes before the luggage would be unloaded from the plane and Tatewaki
would need to go through customs. He went to a pay phone and called the
number for the Hotel Angui of Beijing. The situation there being what it
was, he knew that he would be lucky to get through.

	A voice answered. Tatewaki requested a certain room number and
was transferred.

	A familiar voice came through the phone. "Nihao, Tatewaki!"

	"Greetings, fair Shan Pu. I have arrived at Tokyo airport
without incident. What news of your meeting in Beijing?"

	"News is not good. They will no help us. They not admit so, but
I can tell."

	"What then do we do next?"

	"I just finish speak with Aunt Lan. She say we go ahead with
plan. Tell me tell you get anyone we can from Nerima to help."

	Lan Zhilei was the Amazon tribe's current Chief Elder. It was
she who had sent Tatewaki and Shan Pu on their mission. A few years ago,
Tatewaki would have reacted hostilely. How dare anyone give orders to
the Blue Thunder?

	"I shall do what I can," he said.

	Even now part of him was quite uncomfortable with being told
what to do. But, he reminded himself, he was not merely following
commands like some servant. Rather, he was deferring to Lan's experience
and wisdom.

	"I get on next flight and be there soon as I can," Shan Pu said.
"Good luck, Tatewaki, and thank you." She hung up the phone.

	In his youth, Tatewaki had arrogantly pursued both Akane Tendo
and "the Pig-Tailed Girl," simply because they were the most beautiful
women at his school. A great and noble warrior, he thought, ought
naturally to be entitled to those women who are worthy of him. Now he
had come to admire Shan Pu, not only for her beauty, but for her iron
determination and fiery spirit as well. He hoped that one day she would
find him worthy of her.

	He found his luggage and proceeded to the customs check-in. He
remembered a phrase from his younger days. *You can't go home again.* A
trite old saying, perhaps, but some profound truth underlied it.

	True, he had arrived at the airport of Tokyo, the city where he
had been born and had grown to manhood. It seemed that very little had
changed, apart from the addition of a new snack bar. But he knew that
the similarities between present and past were only superficial. As he
had changed and grown over the past seven years, no doubt so too had the
people whom he had known in his youth. It was now his task to bring as
many of them as he could together into a fighting force. It would not be
an easy task.

	As he stood in the long customs line, he thought back to those
last few days he had spent in Japan....

				 ______


	The classroom was silent save for the scratching of pens against
paper. The teacher sat flipping idly through a magazine. Students filled
page after page with writing, and the air with the fetid odor of human
perspiration. It was the last day of the school year at Furinkan. The
school authority had just overruled the Principal's imposition of
additional graduation requirements, which meant that the senior class
would be graduating. As a way of retaliating, the Principal had had the
furnace turned on, making an already hot day even less bearable.

	Tatewaki was not particularly bothered by the heat, being
accustomed to walking around in his bulky kendo gi. His attention was
fixed on the sheet of paper that lay in front of him. The empty sheet of
paper. It was frustrating. Kuno Tatewaki was well known as one who could
expound on any subject. True, the instructors often returned his essays
with comments such as *Too long* or *Please stick to the topic,* but
that merely reflected their own inability to appreciate his insights. He
had never been unable to complete an assignment. Yet he simply could not
come up with an adequate response to the assignment written across the
blackboard:

	*Write a paragraph or two telling your plans after graduation.*

	Of course, there were answers that he could give. *I, Kuno
Tatewaki, shall perform mighty and heroic deeds that will be
immortalized in story and legend.* But, as his teachers had told him
many times, an essay of this sort needed to be specific. He needed a
quest to undertake, some set of tasks by which to prove his courage and
battle skills. Try as he might, he could not come up with something
worthy enough.

	The final bell sounded. The other students jumped up from their
chairs and stampeded for the exit door. Tatewaki stood, taking in hand
his books and other possessions, and approached the teacher.

	The teacher smiled. "Goodbye, Kuno. Best of luck to you."

	Tatewaki held up his paper, which was still blank. "Sir, about
this final assignment..."

	"I'm not collecting those. I asked you all to do it for your own
benefit, but there's no way I could critique it and get it back to you
anyway."

	"Yes, sir." Tatewaki bowed respectfully, then exited the room.
He walked down the stairs to the ground floor as he continued to
ruminate on his future. There seemed to be no place for a samurai
warrior in this modern world; battles were fewer and farther between,
and those who did fight them used technological weapons of destruction,
not honorable person-to-person combat.

	He pushed open the large main door to the school. Outside, the
temperature dropped to a level that was merely slightly uncomfortable.
Tendo Nabiki stood near the school gate. She beckoned Tatewaki towards
her; no doubt she wished to say to him some sentimental words of
farewell.

	"You owe me fifteen hundred yen, Kuno-chan."

	Tatewaki stood confused for a moment, then recalled the request
that he had made of Nabiki earlier that day. "You have delivered my
message to Saotome Ranma instructing him to meet me at your place of
residence today?"

	"Yep. I left him a note."

	"You specified the time as four o'clock precisely?"

	"Yes, Kuno-chan." She rolled her eyes. "Four o'clock on the
dot." She held out a hand. "Pay up."

	"Have I ever failed to pay you for your services?" He handed
over a few bills. "I bid you farewell until we meet again, Tendo
Nabiki."

	Tatewaki walked away from the school, not bothering to glance
back toward Nabiki. It was obvious that she thought him a fool. Yet
giving out the small amounts of cash that she asked for was no great
inconvenience to him; and because of them she did what he wanted. Who
was the fool?

	Nabiki was a woman of questionable honor. Saotome Ranma kept the
Pig-Tailed Girl under his thrall through some sort of illicit means.
Nabiki clearly knew this, and yet did nothing to help free her. She, at
the very least, turned a blind eye to the girl's peril. Perhaps she even
willingly abetted Saotome in his foul deeds; Tatewaki had no idea how
far she would go to earn money.

	 Tatewaki strode toward home with a renewed certitude. Freeing
the Pig-Tailed Girl. That would be his first priority.

				 ______


	Nabiki watched idly as Kuno-chan receded down the block. They
would probably run into each other a few times during the summer, but
after that she might not see him again. She couldn't honestly say that
she'd miss him. Then again, he had been her best customer, and he had
taught her a valuable skill -- how to deal with an idiot. If the world
outside Nerima was anything like she expected, that would come in very
useful indeed.

	Nabiki turned as she heard two of her classmates approach her.
"So, what did Kuno ask you, Nabiki?" one of them said playfully.

	"Just a little business, nothing more."

	"We thought... you know," the other one said, "it being the last
day of classes and all... he might... you know..."

	"Spit it out, ladies."

	"We thought," the first one said, "he might have popped the
question. You know, proposed."

	"Me and... Kuno? Married?" Nabiki's eyes went wild as this
possibility went through her mind. Then she burst out hysterically. "HA
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!"

				______


	"I'm home!" Nabiki entered the Tendo home amidst the sounds of
repair work. Her father could be heard crying in the background, while
Ranma and Akane argued. Just a typical day.

	"Hello, Nabiki!" Kasumi said enthusiastically, as she always
did. "This was your last day of classes, wasn't it? Congratulations!"

	"Thanks, sis." Nabiki looked around the room. "I see the house
is almost fixed. Now aren't you all glad I invited all of those guests
to the wedding? The money they paid for admission will be more than
enough to pay for the repairs." Of course, the repairs might not have
been necessary if those guests hadn't been there; but Nabiki didn't feel
obligated to mention this.

	Soun held up a folded piece of paper. "Nabiki! Isn't it
wonderful?"

	"Well, *I* think so. I mean, frankly, that school is a lunatic
asylum. I can make good money there, but I'm glad to be leaving."

	"I don't mean that. Look at this!" He showed Nabiki the paper.


	Dear Mr. and Mrs. Saotome,

		Congratulations on your recent wedding! As our gift to
	you, you are invited to enjoy a free dinner for two at the Cupid
	Cafe, Nerima's finest restaurant catering to young couples as
	well as the young at heart. Please call 555-5683 at your
	earliest convenience to make reservations.


	"A lovers' cafe?" Ranma asked. "US?!"

	"If Ranma doesn't want to go with me, that's okay," Akane said
to no one in particular. "There are plenty of other people I could go
with."

	"Akane!" A brownish blur suddenly zipped through the room. All
heads turned to see Happosai clinging to Akane's bosom. "I'll go with
you!!"

	"Get off!" She struck the old pervert with the back of her hand,
swatting him through a wall. Nabiki mentally calculated how much the new
damage would add to the repair bill.

	"I've had guys take me to this place before." Nabiki handed the
paper over to Ranma. "The food is pretty good."

	Ranma stared at the letter. "Don't you think it's kinda weird,
us gettin' this for nothing?"

	"The restaurant owner probably saw your wedding announcement
in the newspaper. They give out free dinners to selected newlyweds, in
hopes that you'll tell your friends how nice it was. Evidently the fact
that you didn't actually end up married didn't disqualify you. It's a
legitimate promotion. But," she added, knowing full well that it was a
warning that would be ignored, "it doesn't mean you shouldn't be
careful."

	Kasumi suddenly spoke up. "Oh my, I almost forgot. You got a
letter today too, Nabiki!" She handed her sister a sealed envelope. It
was an international letter, return-addressed from the University of
Pennsylvania Office of Financial Aid. Nabiki's pulse quickened as she
greedily tore the envelope open. It was the letter she had been waiting
for.


	Dear Ms. Tendo Nabiki,

		We are pleased to inform you that you have been awarded
	a scholarship by the Felgercarb Foundation. These grants cover
	the full University tuition and fees for four years.


	"YES!" Nabiki jumped nearly five feet into the air. "Kasumi, do
you know what this is?"

	"Goodness, of course not, Nabiki!" Kasumi wore her usual calm
smile. "It's your letter, not mine!"

	"Kasumi, they're paying my tuition! I can go to the university
in the US for free!"

	"Tuition and fees," Kasumi corrected. "That's wonderful!" The
others offered various shouts of congratulations. "They must really
think you're something special, to pay all your tuition and expenses."

	"I guess so." Nabiki smiled as she looked over the letter again,
savoring every word. "And after that, it's on to Wharton. It's one of
the best schools of business anywhere!"

	Ranma smirked. "Business school? I thought you knew it all
already."

	"I do, Saotome." Nabiki smiled self-approvingly. "You can bet
your life on it. I know business like you know martial arts. And what I
don't know, I can learn myself faster than these people can teach it to
me."

	"Then why go to school?"

	"Connections. I need to meet the right people, and they need to
know who I am. That's what it's all about. The degree itself doesn't
mean anything."

	Ranma looked thoughtful for a moment. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway,
as far as this dinner thing, if the food's good, I'll go. I just hope
Akane don't get all mushy and stuff."

	Akane snorted. "You wish, Ranma."

	"That's the spirit!" A teary-eyed Soun abruptly hugged both
Ranma and Akane. "I'll call in the reservations for tonight! I'M SO
HAPPY!"

				______


	Genma, in panda form, grunted in approval as he watched Soun
embrace the two children. He held out a sign that read, *Young love:
Ain't it wonderful?* Unnoticed by the others, he was sweating, and not
just because of the weather.

	Mousse had come to the dojo the previous day.

	"Mr. Tendo. Mr. Saotome. I've come here to help you." The boy
gazed ahead with eyes resolute. His voice was firm, confident. "All of
us want the same thing -- for Ranma and Akane to be happily married, so
that my darling Shampoo will be left for me. Do we see eye-to-eye on
this?"

	"Over here, son," Soun called. "That's a floor fan."

	Mousse scrambled over to the source of the voice, and offered a
small tablet. "Here! I want you to use this!"

	Soun examined the object. "This is..."

	"It's the last of the three love pills that Happosai stole from
Cologne nearly a hundred years ago. All you need to do is give this to
Ranma while he's looking at Akane. This one only lasts one day, but
that'll be time enough for them to get married."

	Genma raised an eyebrow. "Are you suggesting that I'd stoop so
low as to drug my own son?" Obviously, Mousse was more perceptive than
he seemed.

	"Er, well... they love each other anyway," Mousse stammerred.
"Everybody knows it. They're just too stubborn to admit it."

	"How did you come by this, boy?" Genma asked. "And why haven't
you just used it on Shampoo yourself?"

	"I found it in the back room of the Nekohanten. And I tried, but
there was no way I could give it to Shampoo without getting caught. If I
had tried, Cologne would've figured out what happened and just kept me
away from Shampoo for the whole day. Then the two of them might... ah,
might have decided to make me into Beijing duck. This way, at least, the
finger won't point to me."

	Soun looked at his old friend with a serious expresssion.
"Desperate times call for desperate measures, Saotome. Perhaps we ought
to put this in your son's food."

	"Let us consider our course of action carefully, Tendo. Is this
an honorable thing to do? Can we truly say that the end justifies the
means? And won't the finger just point to us? And is there a recipe for
Beijing Panda?"

	Soun thought for a moment. "You know, Saotome, I happen to have
a friend named Guzen Noichi. He's a chef at a restaurant for young
lovers called the Cupid Cafe. Suppose that a certain two young lovers
were invited for dinner there..."

	"Excellent idea, Tendo! The romantic atmosphere will make my son
realize his true feelings! With a little help from your friend and this
pill, of course."

	"Agreed, Saotome. It's all for the best. Like the young man here
said, they love each other anyway."

	Despite the confidence Genma projected, he knew all too well how
easily the plan could go wrong. By the end of the day, his son might
well end up married to one of the cafe's waitresses. More likely, Ranma
might find out who was responsible for drugging him -- and the boy
didn't exactly seem pleased with his father as things already were.

	On the other hand, Ranma had never been the type to hold a
serious grudge against anyone. Shampoo and Ukyo had thrown bombs at him
during his wedding, but he didn't seem to think any worse of them
afterwards. Genma couldn't think of a time when he'd seen his son angry
-- not *really* angry. He had seen Akane like that, but it never seemed
to last; she'd always let it out by hitting something -- or someone --
and then pretty much forget about it.

	In the final analysis, those consequences didn't matter anyway.
There was more at stake than the security of a couple of old men. More
even than the futures of their children. The Anything Goes school had to
be preserved. It was a martial artist's first and most important duty to
make certain that his Art would be passed on to the next generation, and
the next. Whether it required a magical love pill, or a bargain with the
dark gods, Saotome Genma would carry out this responsibility.

				 ______


	Kuno Tatewaki entered the Tendo residence at precisely four P.M.
Saotome Ranma immediately leapt over to stand with his feet planted
firmly on top of the kendoist's head.

	"SAOTOME!" Kuno bellowed as he tried to push Ranma off. "What do
you think you are doing!?"

	Ranma showed him a handwritten note:


	Ranma:
		Kuno-chan wants you to meet him here this afternoon.
	Four o'clock on the head.

					Nabiki


	"AAAAARG!!" The True Blunder righted himself as Ranma jumped
back to the ground. "This is no laughing matter, you insolent dog!"

	Ranma assumed a combat-ready stance. "So what is it this time,
Kuno? Another challenge? Okay, let's get it over with."

	Kuno casually ran a hand through his hair. "I would love to
smite thee, but I have more pressing concerns at present. Though the
idea pains me, I am prepared to negotiate with you over the Pig-Tailed
Girl."

	"Negotiate?"

	"You will release your hold over she who is my love. I shall
thereafter pay a ransom to you, the amount of which will be negotiated
between the two of us. Do you agree?"

	"WHAT?!?" Ranma couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You want
to *buy* the 'Pig-Tailed Girl'?"

	"Make no mistake, Saotome, I relish not the thought of giving
in to your villainy. But you have left me no other choice. I will see my
love freed, one way or another."

	"Kuno, get it through your thick head. The 'Pig-Tailed Girl'
thinks you're a stupid jerk. She does *not* love you. She will NEVER
love you. Understand? And she ain't for sale."

	Kuno sneered. "You would be surprised, Saotome, at just how many
things are for sale when the right price is offered."

	"Yeah? Does that include your mom?" Okay, it was a third-grade
kid's insult, but this idiot didn't deserve any better.

	Kuno's response was to charge at Ranma with his bokken. At that
moment, Ranma decided that he had had enough.

				 ______


	Moments later, Tatewaki lay face down in the local garbage
collection site.

	This would not deter him, he swore to himself as he struggled to
his feet. The Pig-Tailed Girl would be freed to express her feelings
toward him, one way or another. For was it not always so in all the
tales and legends that the hero is wed to the most beautiful of women?

	He walked toward home. This approach had failed. He would have
to find another.

				 ______


	"Man, what a dork. 'I would love to smite thee,'" Ranma said to
himself, in an absurdly effeminate parody of Tatewaki's voice. "What the
heck is his problem?" Until he had become a girl and met Kuno, Ranma had
never really understood what sexism was. Kuno treated him completely
differently as a girl than as a boy, even though he was exactly the same
person.

	A voice came from behind. "Good evening, Ranma."

	Ranma turned and was face-to-face with his mother. With
apprehension, he recalled his father's promise that the two of them
should commit seppuku if he were found to be unmanly. "Uh... Mom... I
wasn't...."

	"I have no quarrel with your behavior tonight, Ranma. You were
clearly provoked into fighting that young man, and you handled yourself
with dignity as a true man should. But I am curious as to who the
'Pig-Tailed Girl' your classmate referred to is."

	Ranma suppressed a sigh of relief. "She's me, Mom. Kuno's seen
me as a girl and doesn't understand that it's the same person. We've
explained it to him time and time again, and he's even seen me change
right in front of him, but he still just doesn't get it."

	"Most unusual." Nodoka's expression was unreadable. Ranma
wondered whether she was going to blame him for leading Kuno on, or
something like that.

	"It runs in the family. His sister and his dad are even crazier
than he is."

	"Indeed? What of his mother?"

	"I dunno nothin' about her. Uh, I gotta go get ready for dinner
at that restaurant, Mom." Ranma climbed quickly up the stairs toward his
room.

	His mother's interrogation had made him quite uncomfortable. It
was true that he didn't have to pretend to be Akane's cousin any more,
and he was glad for that. But Pop's promise was still hanging over his
head. His own mother could decide he should die anytime she decided he
didn't live up to her expectations as a "real man among men" --
expectations which he didn't completely understand. He no longer needed
to be "Ranko" around her, but he couldn't really be himself either.

	Maybe that was why he liked fighting better than anything else.
During a fight, he was the one who decided what to do. He didn't have to
worry about what anyone else thought. There were very few other things
in his life like that.

			     ______

 
	Nodoka watched her son climb the stairs. How lucky she was to
have such a fine son, not an ill-mannered fool like the Kuno boy.

	She felt pride in knowing that her own influence had guided him
towards the straight and narrow. Not directly; Genma had taken him away
from her as a baby. But she had forced her husband to pledge that their
son would be raised as a man among men. Surely it was that promise that
had forced Genma to give the boy a proper upbringing.

	On the other hand, it pained Nodoka to see the way Ranma reacted
to her. He seemed nervous and anxious around her most of the time, and
often made excuses to get away from her as he had just done. That
saddened her. Like any mother, she wanted to be close to her son.
Couldn't he see that she was only trying to lead him down the path of
honor and uprightness? That she was trying to keep him from becoming
like the Kuno boy?

	There was no answer, so Nodoka put the thought out of her mind.
She couldn't change Ranma's attitude towards her, at least not at that
moment. She could, however, do something about the young Kuno. His
father was the Principal at Ranma's high school. She would speak with
him. She would demand that he take some responsibility towards properly
disciplining his son.

			     ______

  
	In the Kuno mansion, the dinner conversation took a rare turn in
that the three participants were actually listening to each other. The
subject turned to Tatewaki's plans for the future. "In truth, I know not
what course I will take," he said.

	"'Ey, Tatchi," the Principal said between mouthfuls of food, "I
know what yo' oughtta do."

	"And what is that, Father?" Tatewaki asked, mildly curious.
Perhaps the Principal actually had something useful to say.

	"You goan' get one o' dem new haircuts! De ones wit' de sides
shaved and de top long. HOOHAH!!"

	"You are as helpful as ever, father. What think you, sister?"

	"To be honest, brother dear, I think that those haircuts are
quite ugly. Your hair looks fine as is." Kodachi smiled patronizingly.
"Oh, yes I know what you meant to ask, but there really is no question
as to your future."

	"No?"

	"No. For you have no imagination, brother. You'll go to college
to train for some dull but secure employment. You'll find some
traditional girl to marry who will smile at you as you rant on about how
wonderful you are. You'll raise a litter of children who also have no
imagination, who will grow to adulthood and repeat the cycle over again.
Does not that sound like a good life? You must be *so* looking forward
to it!"

	Tatewaki knew that his sister was insane, but her words still
stung. Did he really have no imagination? He tried to think of what it
would be like be like to have imagination, but for some reason could not
form a mental image of it.

	"Uhh..." the Principal groaned, as his head abruptly fell
forward into his plate of noodle casserole.

	Tatewaki examined his father and found him to be sound asleep.
He glared at Kodachi.

	"Merely trying out a new recipe, brother. It seems you were not
affected. Perhaps you should have eaten more."

	"And what reason have you for wanting to drug the other members
of your family?"

	"Why, brother. Who needs reason when one has imagination?
OHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!"
 
				 ______


	The last few customers had just left the Nekohanten. After
having quickly clearing off the table they had used, Mousse stood behind
the cash register. It was still twenty minutes before closing time, and
he had to wait in case anyone else were to come in.

	He could hear the voices of Cologne and Shampoo from the back
room, and strained to make out what they were saying. He hoped they
hadn't discovered that the love pill was missing; if they had, they'd
surely guess that he had been the one to take it. Then Shampoo would
hate him, if she didn't already.

	"You may have gone too far this time, Shampoo." Cologne said
sternly. "Throwing exploding food at Ranma and Akane may have been
satisfying, but did you consider the consequences? An Amazon should not
let her personal feelings interfere with her duty to her people."

	"I sorry, great-grandmother," Shampoo replied.

	"Is that all you have to say?"

	It took several moments before Shampoo answered. "Yes."

	Cologne's tone softened slightly. "Do you still love him? Even
after all that's happened?"

	"Yes. No." There was so much pain in Shampoo's voice. Pain that
made Mousse want to run over to her and comfort her. "Love Ranma, also
hate him."

	"Explain."

	"I many times prove to Ranma that I much more suitable for him
than Akane. I stronger, cook better, prettier, and what what else. Why
he not see that? Why he not see I love him more than anyone else? So
many times I show him and he still decide to marry Akane instead me.
Maybe he always decided this from beginning, and everything I do not
matter at all. Sometimes I think I waste my whole life chasing Ranma.
What if I get to be old woman and still not successful?"

	Mousse felt a pang of guilt. He was plotting behind the back of
the woman he loved to deny her what she wanted most. Then he dismissed
the feeling as pure nonsense. The more Shampoo interacted with Ranma,
the more pain he visited on her. He was trying to protect her from being
hurt. How could someone truly in love do otherwise?

	Cologne spoke again, her voice calm and even. "So you were angry
with him for not choosing to marry you?"

	"Yes. That part of it. Also, I just tired. I want it finally
over. I want Ranma know that decision is final. He no can choose Akane
and still expect Shampoo still be waiting for him to change mind."

	The tinkling of the door chime interrupted Mousse's listening.
Kuno Tatewaki entered. "Good evening. My sister has unfortunately
drugged the dinner that I was to eat, so I have come to purchase some
substitute comestables."

	Mousse handed Tatewaki a menu. He concentrated on listening to
Cologne and Shampoo as the kendoist scanned over the choices.
Fortunately, being unable to depend on his eyesight had caused him
to develop keener hearing.

	Cologne's voice. "You do realize the consequences of giving up
on Ranma."

	Shampoo. "Yes. Law say I can not be given cure until I marry
Ranma. I not care. I stay cursed to turn into cat forever. What choice I
have anyway?"

	"Curse the fates!" Tatewaki slammed his fist down on the table.
"I find myself unable to decide between ramen with pork, and ramen with
shrimp!"

	"You can get ramen with pork *and* shrimp if you like," Mousse
said, hoping that Tatewaki would shut up so he could listen to Shampoo.

	Tatewaki nodded. "Excellent suggestion. So be it then! I shall
have them both!"

	"Yes, sir." Mousse scribbled the order onto a notepad.
"Carry-out or dine in?" Tatewaki's eyes narrowed as he pondered this new
choice.

	Mousse continued to listen to Cologne's voice. "Since you
already carry your punishment for your failure, whether or not you
continue to pursue Ranma is your own choice, Shampoo. However, I am
worried about us losing Ranma's good will. Up until now he has been very
forgiving of the various sorts of mischief we've played on him, but he
won't necessarily continue to be. You know as well as anyone why it
would be disatrous for us for him to turn hostile."

	"What you want me do, Great-grandmother?"

	"You will promise on the honor of the Amazons never again to
interfere between Ranma and Akane. You will write a statement of that
promise, and an apology for your behavior at the wedding; I will have
Mousse deliver it to the Tendos."

	"Yes, great-grandmother. I promise," Shampoo said flatly.

	Mousse let out the breath he realized he'd been holding in.
"That's a relief. Shampoo could have ruined Ranma and Akane's date at
the Cupid Cafe."

	He put a hand to his mouth as he realized that he'd just spoken
out loud. Fortunately, Cologne and Shampoo couldn't possibly have heard
him.

	"What?" Tatewaki quickly came to his feet. "Akane Tendo is at
the Cupid Cafe?"

	"Er... uh..." Mousse stammered.

	"She surely awaits the presence of her own true love! Be brave,
Akane Tendo! I come anon!" The kendoist strode purposefully out the
front door.

	Mousse tore Tatewaki's order from his pad, crumpled it up, and
threw it in the garbage. He prayed to any gods that might be listening
that he hadn't just blown it.

			     ______


	"Welcome to the Cupid Cafe." Atama Kukiko had what she thought
was the best job in the whole world, waitress at the Cafe. Seeing so
many young lovers every day was just wonderful! "Do you have a
reservation?"

	"Yes," the short-haired woman in the pretty dress replied.
"Tendo Akane and Saotome Ranma."

	"Oh yes. Someone made a mistake, I see. You're listed here as a
man and a woman."

	"Blame that little old lady who throws water outside all the
time," the woman in the 1970's Chinese-style jacket said. "One of these
days I oughtta..."

	"Why don't you just take a different route?" her companion said,
sounding a little annoyed. The pig-tailed girl didn't seem to have a
good answer.

	"That's all right. This way, please." Kukiko picked up two menus
and led the two customers to their candle-lit table in the back, as they
kept arguing all the while. She smiled to herself, thinking about how
young love was. Man-woman, man-man, or woman-woman, it was always the
same. They were a little upset with each other right now; that meant
that later they would be making up.

			     ______


	The waitress set two plates of food on the table. "Pork fried
rice for the lady, and teriyaki eel for... the other lady."

	"Could we have some hot water, please?" Akane asked her.

	"Skp 't, Akne," Ranma said through a mouthful of food. "I'll
stay like this." It wasn't worth the trouble of explaining to the
waitress why one of her customers had been replaced by a man. Besides,
the curse seemed to attract cold water when it wanted to.

	Akane finished chewing before replying. "How do you think that
makes me feel, Ranma? To be at a lovers' cafe with another girl?"

	"Oh, you're embarrassed to be seen with me, is that it?" Ranma
wasn't any more happy about being a girl than anyone else. But at least
for now, there was nothing that could be done about it. It was a part of
what Saotome Ranma was, and Akane was going to have to accept it if they
were going to be married.

	"That's not what I..."

	"And I suppose you think I like being with a girl as unfeminine
as you?"

	"What did you say?!" Akane snatched Ranma's now empty plate and
lifted it, about to bash it into her fiance's skull.

	She then gave a tired sigh and set the plate back down noisily
on the table. "Maybe you and I are just wrong for each other," she said,
exasperated. "Are we going to be doing this the rest of our lives?
Insulting and hitting each other? Is that the kind of life we want?"

	"I dunno." Ranma couldn't think of a good answer. "I been pushed
around and told what to do so much, I don't even know what *I* want
anymore."

	"I guess I can understand that", Akane said. "Sometimes it seems
like I've been fighting back because I didn't want to be controlled by
other people, that I don't know what I *do* want. Does that make any
sense?"

	"Akane..."

	The two edged closer, each looking at the other's face in the
soft lighting. Could it be that they both felt the same way... ?

	A voice came from the front of the restaurant. "Tendo Akane!
Whither art thou, my love?"

	"Kuno." Ranma said the name as if it were something to be
scraped from the bottom of a shoe. Damn it, they were so close... to
what? "I've had it. I'm gonna put that moron in the hospital."

	"No." Akane's emotions clearly matched Ranma's. "He called for
*me*. That means *I* get to put him in the hospital." She took a quick
drink from her glass of water.

	Tatewaki burst into view. "Tendo Akane!" He turned to notice
Ranma. "And the Pig-Tailed Girl!"

	Ranma stared wide-eyed at the kendoist. "Kuno!" Suddenly,
everything was clear. Akane didn't matter anymore. Neither did Shampoo,
Ukyo, or Kodachi. Not when the most wonderful person in the world was
standing right there. "Kuno darling!"

	Water sprayed from Akane's mouth. "WHAT?"

				 ______


	"Is everything all right here?" the waitress asked.

	"Hot. Water. NOW!" Akane said through clenched teeth. No, as it
happened, everything was *not* all right. Her fiance, her date for the
evening, held Kuno in a tight embrace, cooing happily, ignoring her as
if she no longer existed. She was being made a fool of once again. Some
part of her told her that it might not be Ranma's fault; she ignored it.

	"Pig-Tailed Girl!" Kuno exclaimed. "At last you have cast
off the foul influence that bound you to that dog Saotome!"

	"I belong to no one but you, darling! Let's run away together!"
Ranma's hand reached up, pulling Kuno's face near. Their lips met in a
long, slow kiss. Akane gaped at the sight, unable to form words. She
tried to pull Ranma away, but the two held together as if superglued to
each other.

	In her heart, Akane was more than ready to believe that Ranma
would leave her for someone else. But Kuno? That just didn't make any
sense. Maybe it was some sort of con game to get something from him. Or
it was Ranma's way of showing his real feelings for her. *I'd rather
French-kiss a brain-dead kendoist than go out on a date with you,
Akane.*

	No. If it were Shampoo, or even Kodachi, Akane would have
believed it. But not Kuno. Kissing him was something Ranma just wouldn't
do voluntarily under any circumstances. She knew her fiance that well,
at least.

	The waitress re-entered with a kettle of steaming water. Akane
quickly snatched it and doused Ranma, turning him male. "There," she
said snidely. "Kiss all you want now!"

	"Huh?" Ranma gaped as he saw who he was hugging. "What the..."
He shoved Kuno aside forcefully. "I kissed... KUNO?!" His hands went to
his mouth as he emitted a muffled gagging sound. The dinner he had just
eaten seemed about to come up.

	Akane fought the urge to believe that all of this was Ranma's
fault. Maybe Kuno had found some magical super-pheromone that made him
irresistable to women. Then why wasn't she affected? Was she as
unfeminine as Ranma always said? She didn't want to think about that.

	"Saotome? What trickery..." Tatewaki turned to Akane. "Akane
Tendo, be not jealous! My fire burns for you as well!"

	"JEALOUS?!" Akane angrily kicked the table towards Kuno,
knocking him down. The water glass from the table fell off, and splashed
onto Ranma.

	Akane paused on seeing that Ranma was again a woman. What would
he do now?

	Ranma looked at Kuno with big tearful eyes. "Oh, Upperclassman
Kuno, our love cannot be. For I am cursed by the pools of Jusenkyo!"

	Tatewaki struggled to push the table off of him so that he could
get up. "Pools... of Jusenkyo?"

	"Yes. My father carelessly brought me to that place during our
trip to China. Since then I have been cursed. That is why you see me as
you do now. Dear, dear Tatewaki, you must find another, a real woman who
can return your love all of the time."

	"At last!!" Kuno stood and struck a proud pose. "This is the
quest for which I was born!"

	"Huh?" Akane's mind boggled.

	"I will travel to Jusenkyo, China, to free the Pig-Tailed Girl
from her curse!" Kuno strode toward the exit. "Be brave, my love, until
my return!"

	"Have a nice trip," Akane said sourly as she poured more hot
water onto Ranma. Kuno going to Jusenkyo? She wondered what he might
come back as. It would serve him right, whatever it was.

				 ______


	"A... Akane?" Ranma turned slowly, hesitantly. "I... I..." For a
moment, as he looked at her he felt himself about to lose control again.
Then the influence abruptly faded, and he was back to normal. He felt
the same way about Akane that he always had.

	"Ranma?" Akane gazed back at him softly. "Are-- are you okay
now?"

	"Akane, I-- I--" For a moment Ranma stood paralyzed, barely even
breathing. He felt as if moving even an inch might make him lose his
mind again, chase after Kuno and surrender his body.  *A martial artist
isn't supposed to be afraid,* he told himself. Pop had always told him
that; and, except when cats had been involved, he had always lived up to
it.

	But there was nothing to fight here. Whatever had attacked him
had been intangible, invisible; it had slipped inside him, giving no
warning, and completely taken over his mind. As far as he knew, it could
do the same thing again any time it wanted, and there was no way he
could defend himself. And it had made him kiss Kuno. It had made him
*want* to kiss Kuno.

	Leaning over the upturned table, Ranma held onto Akane
desperately. She was a life preserver, the only thing keeping him from
drowning in a sea of emotion. And for once, she didn't pull back, didn't
hit him. "It's okay, Ranma. It's okay." She was as steady and solid as a
mountain as she hung onto him with all of her strength. That tomboy
brute strength. How could he ever have thought it was a bad thing?

	Tomorrow, maybe he'd go back to insulting her, and she'd go back
to hitting him. But for now, none of that mattered. At that moment, he'd
happily put up with the arguments, her cooking, and all the other
annoyances forever if it meant that he didn't have to lose her.

				 ______


	Kukiko watched her two customers as they hugged. Finally, they
had made up. How wonderful young love was!

				 ______


	Shampoo slid the door open far enough to peer through. "I sorry.
Nekohanten closed for tonight. You come back tomorrow, OK?"

	"I am not seeking food, good lady. I would have words with the
owner of this establishment."

	"Great-grandmother!" Shampoo called out. She opened the door all
the way. "You come in, please?"

	"Thank you." Kuno Tatewaki stepped through the doorway.

	Cologne walked in from the kitchen. "Can I help you, young man?"

	Fiery determination burned in Tatewaki's eyes. "It is my quest
to free the Pig-Tailed Girl from the curse of Jusenkyo. I require your
assistance in getting to that location."

	Cologne did a slight double-take at this odd request. "You
realize that Jusenkyo is a dangerous place? And your 'Pig-Tailed
Girl'..."

	"I will not be deterred. Should you be unwilling to help me, I
shall look for asistance elsewhere."

	"Very well. Make arrangements to travel to Xi Ning in the
Qinghai province of China. Inform me as to your scheduled date and time
of arrival. I will contact my Amazon sisters and have them meet you
there. They will then guide you to Jusenkyo. What happens to you once
there is your own responsibility."

	"Agreed. I shall be in touch." Tatewaki turned and strode toward
the exit.

	Shampoo slid the door back open. She started to speak, but
nothing came out. What could she tell him? He surely wouldn't listen to
her if she tried to explain Jusenkyo.

	She knew that Tatewaki was deluded, totally unable to understand
who his "Pig-Tailed Girl" really was. Still, she couldn't help feeling a
twinge of admiration and respect for his dedication and persistence.
Though the object of his love was a fantasy, it seemed that his love
itself was very real. Quite unlike Ranma, who only seemed to care for
Shampoo as a friend no matter what she did. And Mousse, who constantly
showered her with affection -- but, she was sure, not due to any real
deep-down love for her. Mousse didn't know what love was. He acted nice
to her simply because he wanted her to be his wife.

	Tatewaki turned and bowed. Shampoo smiled at him. "Good luck."
She hoped he would be all right.

				 ______


	He saw nothing.

	Tatewaki had managed to make the arduous journey to Jusenkyo.
Two flights, a rail trip, a bus ride over a road that barely existed,
and a long trek on foot had brought him to his destination. He had come
expecting to fight the guardians of the place; creatures of evil, or
perhaps human servants of some dark power. He could defeat them and
force them to reverse their malevolent bewitchment of the Pig-Tailed
Girl.

	But there were no guardians. Merely a hundred pools of water
with bamboo poles protruding upward.

	"Attend me, you craven dogs!" Tatewaki cried. "I, Kuno Tatewaki,
have come to challenge you for the freedom of the Pig-Tailed Girl! Show
yourselves, cowards!!"

	"You shout into empty air."

	Tatewaki turned to see Lan, the aged Amazon who had guided him
on the last leg of his travels. "Where are the keepers of this place?"
he asked her.

	"There are none. There is nothing for you to fight here."

	"Do not trifle with me, woman!" Tatewaki raised his bokken
threateningly.

	"Oh, you could fight with me, and you would surely win, for my
health is poor. Time has not treated this old woman well. Defeating me,
however, would gain you nothing. Your 'Pig-Tailed Girl' would still be
as she now is."

	Tatewaki looked around. The old woman had to be lying! There had
to be some foe here for him to attack! Perhaps they were concealed
beneath the waters of the pools? He moved slowly over towards one of
them for a closer look. It appeared to be empty.

	"But," the old woman continued, "I can do something to help you.
I can offer you training. Training of the body, of the mind, and of the
spirit."

	"Why do you offer this?"

	"Someday soon, our village is likely to face a crisis. We will
be in need of as many warriors as we can find. I know that your battle
skills are considerable."

	"And your training will enable me to break the hold that this
place has over the Pig-Tailed Girl?"

	"I do not guarantee that. But it will make you a better fighter,
and it will help you it will help you in understanding your opposition.
You may learn
just what it is that keeps you from achieveing your goals; this might
give you a chance of getting what you seek."

	The afternoon sunlight glistened off the surface of the pool. It
beckoned to Tatewaki, a siren call inside his mind. It was offering him
a choice. Perhaps the Pig-Tailed girl had faced the same set of
alternatives?

	Accepting assistance was a sign of weakness; nevertheless, he
could see no other road to take. Nothing in his mind told him any way he
could deal with this situation himself. And if it had been merely his
own life at stake, he could have stayed and fought with shadows. But the
Pig-Tailed Girl was depending on him. To save her, he was honor-bound to
attempt any avenue by which he might be successful -- even if it meant
practicing one of the most difficult virtues of all: patience.

	He stepped back, slowly and carefully. Saying nothing, he
followed the old woman away from the area. He would later learn that in
so doing, Kuno Tatewaki became the first outsider in recent memory to
leave Jusenkyo *without* having been transformed by one of the place's
cursed springs.

	Tatewaki undertook his Amazon training. Initially, it went very
poorly. He had difficulty mastering the simplest Amazon stick fighting
techniques, and each of his instructors was able to defeat him easily.
He fared no better with his study of Chinese, or of meditation, or of
Amazon thought and philosophy. By all reckonings, he was a failure.

	And they didn't mind.

	Lan-sensei and Tatewaki's other Amazon teachers did not punish
or cast out Tatewaki for his shortcomings. They simply treated his
failures as difficulties to be overcome, giving him more instruction and
letting him try again and again until he got it right.

	And he had been wrong about so many things.

	As time passed, Tatewaki realized that this had to be what a
family was like. The Amazons were his family now, not the man and the
girl who happened to be related to him by blood. When the time came to
help defend the village, he would be ready.

				 ______


	*You can't go home again.*

	As Tatewaki exited the train station and walked down the
once-familiar streets of Nerima, he now knew that this place he grew up
in was not his true home. That lay elsewhere, in the remoteness of
China. He only hoped that it would still be there for him after the
current crisis was over.

	He let his gaze travel from building to building as he passed by
them, searching for any familiar sights, all the while musing on the
irony of the situation. He had been searching for so very long for a
quest. Now he had one. But it was not one that he could succeed at
alone.

	He stopped at one particular establishment upon reading its
sign. Yes, it would be quite appropriate. His previous life here had
ended at a restaurant. It would begin again at another.

	Tatewaki opened the door and stepped into Okonomiyaki Ucchan's.

				 ______


	AUTHOR'S POST-IT NOTES: Thanks to everyone who offered comments
on this the first time around. Your input really helped to make it
better. Special thanks to Cindy Toler and Thomas Schmidt for pre-reading
this revision.

	I took the "on the head" joke from a scene in manga vol. 5 --
Viz translated it in a way that wasn't funny and I wanted to try to do
better. For those who are wondering where the Jusenkyo Guide was in that
last scene, he got out of there as soon as the Amazons tipped him off as
to who was coming and why.


Gary Kleppe <kleppe@execpc.com>
http://www.execpc.com/~kleppe/comics.html