S W A P T H I S !
Thoughts on and Contributions to Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction
Issue #1, July 12, 1998
by Taleswapper
* * * *
* INTRODUCTION *
* * * *
This "magazine" is the new format I've developed for my continuing
participation in the Ranma fanfic community. If you're not familiar with my
previous writings on Ranma fanfic, see my home page at
http://members.aol.com/talswapr/index.html. Also there, I will put up a HTML
version of this document, with links. I invite your correspondence at
talswapr@aol.com.
Taleswapper
12 July 98
* * * *
* I. APPRECIATION *
* * * *
My quarterly posts are history, but I've not abandoned the enterprise of
publicly adoring some (not all!) of the Ranma fanfics that I've enjoyed most.
To save time and to avoid burn-out, I'm no longer reading all Ranma fics
posted to RAAC. On the other hand, I'll no longer restrict my comments to
fics posted to RAAC. Below are essays of appreciation on some (not all!) of
my favorite fics that have emerged since the 1997 Taleswapper Awards.
***
_Kazuo's Kind_ by Lara Bartram
In _KK_, Bartram combines stock elements of psychological horror and morality
play, and the synthesis is work of surprising novelty. Halfway into the
story, I had been expecting a tired "Tell-Tale Heart" rehash. What I found
instead was a refreshingly original take on the nature of Kunou's foibles, as
illuminated by the very believable descent of Kazuo into self-delusion. I
also may have detected some intriguing speculations on the nature of evil.
Credibility elevates _KK_ above the average dark drama. Bartram employs
adroit staging and engaging depiction of Kazuo's inner workings to lend
credence to his inexorable swerving into Kunou's manic groove. Skillfully
ironic prose and evocative dialogue also empower the author to suspend
disbelief in Kazuo's shocking crime and his rapid mental deterioration. These
developments might be too implausible outside the context of Bartram's craft.
The ambiguous ending suits this strange tale, hinting at the cyclical property
of evil and at Nabiki's even-worse-than-you-thought treachery. When the idea
of poisoning Kunou first surfaced, it had seemed so awkwardly far-out, calling
to mind the heavy-handed lesson-devices of children's parables. Through
scrupulous cultivation of chilling irony, however, Bartram has contributed a
work of satisfying complexity and abstruseness.
You can download _Kazuo's Kind_ from the RAAC Ranma fanfic archive at
ftp://ftp.cs.ubc.ca/pub/archive/anime-fan-works/Ranma/ranma.kazuos-kind.gz.
It's currently not among "Lara's Fanfics" at
http://www.emich.edu/public/llb/fanfic.html.
***
_Ranma's Apartment 2: Curses_ by Chris Jones
Romantic Ranma 1/2 fan fiction, more consistently than any of the other genre,
provides quality storytelling. Even when the technical merits of the writing
are mediocre, the universally appealing subject matter and sincerity of
authorship usually ensure that love stories are pleasing. In this context, it
is increasingly difficult for me to discriminate among romantic Ranma fics.
All those warm embraces and touching I-love-you's, though dependably
satisfying, blur nearly to the point of interchangeability.
Writers of my favorite Ranma romance fics, with a handful of notable
exceptions, usually distinguish their works with memorable story elements,
rather than excellent prose or stunning emotional content. I had considered
Chapter 1 of _Ranma's Apartment_ interesting and diverting, but not
distinctive. In _RA2_, however, Jones added touches of character-building and
humor that put the story "over the top" for me.
The author's remaking of Akane captivated me. Jones opted to transform her
physically and did not cheat his readers on the details. Like a portrait
artist, he has painted a more mature, more stylish, more alluring Akane whose
image endures in my mind's eye. The precision and earnestness of Jones'
descriptions of Akane lead me to believe that she is modeled on a real person
in his experience. She must be a real heartbreaker.
Another sort of transformation helped to ensure that _RA2_ would be an
outstanding work for me. Jones presents intelligently formulated specifics of
Ranma's sex-change process in the charmingly humorous scene after Megumi
learns of the curse. Again, careful and eloquent descriptions are the
author's tools for burning images into the reader's memory. (Though I just
have to wonder where all that water went.)
At the heart of _RA2_, naturally, is an enchanting love story. After having
breathed new life into the dysfunctional Ranma-Akane relationship in Chapter
1, Jones weaves simple but effective plotting to make their romance progress
quickly. The results are a tense conflict, a touching reconciliation, and one
of the year's best I-love-you's.
You can find _Ranma's Apartment_ among the works in Jones' "Ranma 1/2
Fanfiction Gallery" at http://cyberwheel.simplenet.com/Ranma/fanfiction.html.
***
_Ill Met by Starlight_ parts 1-10 by Susan Doenime and Mike Loader
Am I supposed to be cheering for the villain? Because, hesitantly, guiltily,
I am. This curious allegiance likely arises from my own perversity, but I
prefer to blame Doenime's and Loader's art. For the authors have crafted a
Ranma who clearly has much evil in his soul. But he is sufficiently
conflicted to inspire some sympathy, and more importantly, he is so
consistently fascinating that I will miss him greatly after his final defeat,
if there is one. Weak moments in Ranma's characterization are rare. In fact,
despite its extravagantly suspenseful story and its wealth of gee-whiz
alternate reality features, _IMBS_ succeeds most notably as a character drama
starring the redefined Ranma, Akane, Nabiki, Shampoo, and Ukyou. Supporting
characters such as Kunou, the Hibikis, and Kasumi are richly textured, but
definitely overshadowed by the five principals.
The "charming psychopath" in motion pictures, for me, has become tiresome; too
many derivatives of Nicholson's Joker or Hopkins' Hannibal Lechter crowd the
screens. Yet until _IMBS_, this stock character was not well exploited in
Ranma fanfic. Doenime and Loader have given the devil more than his due with
their remake of Saotome Ranma. Their deliciously wicked protagonist
entertains me with the spirit, if not the intent, of dark humor. His flippant
assault on Nabiki, his phenomenal ability to conceive the only threat that
could intimidate Tsen Wu, his constructive ruthlessness in training Akane, his
startling intrusion into the electronic chat session: such moments endear
_IMBS_'s Ranma to my own dark side.
Moreover, many of the things that make Ranma a most effective enemy mark him
as much more interesting than the manga Saotome Ranma. Along with his honor
and scruples, the _IMBS_ authors excised from Takahashi's Ranma many of his
more annoying shortcomings, replacing them with the strengths required for a
most worthwhile villain. Forceful decisiveness displaces waffling
ambivalence. A crafty economy with words supplants thoughtless bombast. And
even though all his heartfelt disclosures may turn out to be deceptions, this
Ranma's emotional candor far exceeds the original's. Evil shouldn't look this
good.
I probably won't stop loving evil Ranma until Akane does. Preferring to
believe that _IMBS_'s Akane is not as deluded as she seems, I trust her
judgment that something in Ranma is worth defending. Perhaps we're both
wrong; perhaps Akane suffers some kind of 1990's codependency disorder. But
in this milieu of killers and would-be killers, Akane gives us someone
innocent to root for. While Ranma may not deserve Akane's affections, her
attempts to cultivate a relationship with him warm the heart, even amid the
chilling surroundings of _IMBS_. Always-impending violence and treachery fade
away during the well-scripted tease scenes in which romantic progress seems
imminent, until something - such as Ranma's as-yet-unexplained aversion to
intimacy - ruins the moments. Their touching _rapprochement_ in the hospital
transforms _IMBS_, for an instant, into a genuine and beautiful romance.
Nabiki's best moments, on the other hand, transform the fic into a taut,
suspenseful thriller. Like a chess player attempting to isolate the opposing
king, Nabiki manipulates people and events to combat Ranma more effectively
than his more physically intimidating enemies can. Supplementing her brains-
over-brawn appeal, _IMBS_'s Nabiki embodies intriguing paradoxes that delight
over-analyzers like me. Contrast, for example, her outward aloofness from
family against her emotional honesty with strangers. Another one to ponder:
Is Nabiki guilty of the same sort of indecent possessiveness toward Akane
("No-one touches her without my permission.") that she despises in Ranma?
That Nabiki's constitution inspires such reflection attests to the power of
Doenime's and Loader's character development. The authors bring into play
various and trenchant devices to portray Nabiki's enigmatic complex of
motivations, emotions, and introspections. And I just eat it up.
Grim-warrior Shampoo has always held great appeal for me, as difficult as it
is to reconcile the happy, vivacious Shampoo with a character of great depth.
Doenime and Loader expand on this common fanfic interpretation of Shampoo with
a most imaginative back story. An engrossing and believable modification of
the Joketsuzoku ethic links her fate to Ranma's. The dual life-changing
traumas resulting from her encounter with Ranma add both pathos and humorous
potential to Shampoo's redefined character. Most importantly for me,
Shampoo's background features the coolest Cologne I've ever read.
The _IMBS_ Ukyou reminds me of her incarnation from _Tales of Ranma & Nabiki_.
As the most reasonable and objective character in each fanfic, she has the
ability to sympathize with all the major players, as well as the moral
authority to tell them when they're wrong. So empowered, Ukyou becomes the
Everyman, so her thoughts and reactions carry special weight. Moreover, she
is armed with the knowledge of Ranma's tragic history beaten out of Genma.
She also knows what it's like to be in love with the protagonist/villain.
This combination of strengths qualifies Ukyou, more than any other character,
to "cure" Ranma. Or to kill him.
_IMBS_ boasts a mesmerizing plot, occasional innovations in staging, and
superior - if uneven - writing style. But it is masterful character-craft
that elevates the fanfic above most others and distinguishes its story as the
most compelling alternate reality in Ranma fan fiction.
Download _Ill Met by Starlight_ from the Transpacific Fanfiction at
http://www.humbug.org.au/~wendigo/transp.html.
***
_Autumn and Spring_ by "Angus MacSpon"
What a ride. One of the smartest, most inventive and most riveting of all
Ranma fics, _A&S_ thrills and astonishes like no other story in the archive.
MacSpon's enormously original plot would likely have been enough to hold my
rapt attention, but to the eye-popping story he applies shrewd dramatic
timing, expressive prose, and some interesting stylistic experimentation. The
result is like riding a very long roller coaster blindfolded.
That _A&S_ is a quest-type adventure story surprised me more than any secret
Ukyou reveals up to the point when she uncovers the nature of her decade-long
project. Ranma's melancholy introspection and Ukyou's secretiveness seem to
set us up for a tale of emotional catharsis. Then, for the first time of
many, MacSpon pulls the floor out from under us. While the Ranma-Ukyou
romance is no red herring, it - and we - are suddenly overwhelmed by the
brilliant and chilling revelation of the mystery surrounding Shampoo's fate.
I use the descriptor "chilling" very literally. Nothing in Ranma fanfic has
unnerved me more than the review of Ukyou's video evidence. Ranma's horror in
that scene is palpable, eliciting sympathetic tingles up my spine. MacSpon's
tight prose establishes a suffocating atmosphere of growing dread, like the
eerie soundtrack from a horror movie as the victim descends stairs to a dark
cellar. Most remarkably, the goose bumps actually increased when I re-read
_A&S_: knowing the destination made Ranma's hellish journey of discovery all
the more macabre. Such staying power is rare, even in the best published
fiction.
Like his plot, MacSpon's writing shines with professional lustre. Especially
polished are the dialogues, internal and external, which are essential for
clarifying the many complicated ideas underlying the story. Some of _A&S_'s
most complex passages depict Ranma's musings and deliberations: the results
have uneven artistic success, but are consistently effective in sketching the
contours of Ranma's character. At the peak of the fight scene, MacSpon
employs an innovative combination of devices to convey the unimaginable
disorientation of Ranma's "injury" while simultaneously showing - in a
minimalist fashion - what is occurring outside Ranma's limited field of
perception. While such experimentation is generally fruitful, the writing in
_A&S_ is best when the author uses his simplest prose, allowing his natural
expressiveness to carry the story and to evoke genuine emotions. This richly
modest composition gives life to the romance which holds the fic together and
enables it to rise above the intellectual level of a mere thrill ride.
Unlike a typical roller coaster, which fails to match the heart-pounding
intensity of that first big drop with subsequent maneuvers, _A&S_ careens with
even greater force as the quest portion of the story proceeds. I actually
counted the number of amazing twists between Ranma's arrival at the enemy's
lair and the denouement; I found ten. Each surprise staggered me anew, each
one inspired wonder at MacSpon's resourcefulness. This unrelenting onslaught
of ingenious developments - grisly, exciting, touching, or just-plain-cool -
creates impact that would resonate with even a veteran thrill-seeker.
_Autumn and Spring_ may be retrieved from "Fanfic by Angus MacSpon" at
http://shell.ihug.co.nz/~macspon/fanfic/index.html.
* * * *
* II. EXAMINATION *
* * * *
In this part of Swap This!, I will provide analysis and commentary on matters
related to Ranma 1/2 fan fiction.
***
ANC Theory: A Refresher Course
by Taleswapper
A large portion of the e-mail I receive focuses on my essay on "annoying new
characters" (ANCs). That piece, which I wrote in the summer of 1996,
continues to inspire comments and questions from authors and readers of Ranma
1/2 fan fiction. I stand by the opinions set out in that essay. It has
become evident, however, that some clarification of my position is necessary,
because many people who have written to me have held misconceptions about ANC
"theory."
Misconception #1: All characters created by Ranma fanfic authors are ANCs.
Of course not, else why would I have come up with a special label for the new
Ranma fanfic characters who annoyed me. Moreover, the essay states:
It is important to emphasize that new characters _per se_ do not necessarily
distract and annoy. Indeed, characters that are especially created by a
fanfic
author for a specific story can enhance the work by providing new
perspectives
and otherwise surmounting the limits of the original Ranma 1/2 cast.
Even if a reader managed to miss that passage in the essay, the prevalence of
this misconception remains puzzling, since the entire closing section of the
piece discusses a new character (Juyza from _Juyza's Lyric_ by Stefan Gagne)
that appealed to me. Other new characters on whom I've made positive public
commentary include:
Saicho in _Normal_ by Roy Rim
Shori in _The Least One Can Do_ by Jeffrey Wong
Kentaro in _Thy Outward Part_ and its sequels by Richard Lawson
Hiro from the _Chasing the Wind_ and its precursors by J. Austin Wilde
Elysse from _A Horse is a Horse; Unless..._ by V. Coutu (the first major
character of Western origin to appeal to me)
Kentaro and Kouichi in _You Can Never Have Too Many..._ by David Johnston
Misconception #2: Characters who are too powerful or too perfect are
automatically ANCs. Conversely, an author can make a new character less
annoying by clearly portraying the character's weaknesses.
No, no, no! This misrepresentation of ANC theory is particularly vexing for
me because I state the opposite in my essay:
... "perfection" and "power" are not necessarily defining characteristics of
an ANC. More importantly, ANCs become no less offensive merely because
an author adds flaws, weaknesses, or other realistic touches to their
characterization.
Perhaps the opening paragraph of the essay, in which I lightly satirize the
typical "self-insert" fanfic hero, is the source of the misconception. Still,
I made a special effort to distance myself from other commentators who
automatically dismiss new characters that are "too perfect" or "too powerful."
I very carefully enumerated reasons behind my annoyance with certain new
fanfic characters, and none of these reasons are related to the characters'
relative fighting ability. So if you're organizing a mob to lynch the latest
new fanfic character who beats up Ranma & Co. without breaking a sweat, leave
me out of it.
Misconception #3: ANC theory constitutes a set of "rules" for writing Ranma
fan fiction.
Well, I suppose it does, if the author's primary purpose in writing is to
please *me* specifically. Authors who are writing for other reasons (though I
can't imagine what those might be) would view the ANC essay merely as a
statement of my personal and idiosyncratic preferences. I even went so far as
to label one of my preferences as a "prejudice." How can anyone misinterpret
a prejudice as a rule?
Very frequently, I am asked the question: "Is {insert new fanfic character
name} an ANC?" The query is posed by authors who are trying to craft an
original characters or by readers who are trying to gauge my reaction to
specific fics. I am usually happy to point out the characterization or story
elements that might make a new character annoying to me (and perhaps only to
me).
***
Readers of my articles know that I named Krista Perry's _Hearts of Ice_ the
best Ranma 1/2 fanfic of 1997 in last year's Taleswapper Awards. One reader,
also a prominent Ranma fanfic author, engaged me in a fine dialogue about the
merits of Perry's characterization of Cologne. In my correspondent's opinion,
the portrayal of the Amazon matriarch as so irredeemably villainous, without
sufficient background to explain her extreme behavior, constitutes an
oversight on Perry's part. While I do not argue with this assessment _per
se_, I choose to judge the quality of _HoI_'s Cologne in a broader context,
which I reveal in the essay below. Readers of O.S. Card's _Speaker for the
Dead_ will recognize parallels to the Nordic "four orders of foreignness."
The Depths of Evil in _Hearts of Ice_
by Taleswapper
In a vacuum, the relative lack of depth or breadth to Cologne's
characterization in _HoI_ might be a flaw to me. But in the context of the
story's several and highly distinct "villains," the evil Cologne becomes an
intricate pattern in an awesome tapestry. Think of _HoI_'s bad guys as
constituting one half of a good-to-evil spectrum. Nearest the center of the
spectrum is Shampoo, an extremely conflicted villain who acts mainly out of
true love for Ranma. Once out from under Cologne's steady tutelage, she
readily joins the side of the angels.
Further from the center is Yuki-onna. Embittered by an ancient tragedy that
she misperceived as a betrayal, she acts with deep and genuine malice toward
all human males, particularly the one closest to her surrogate daughter. The
Snow Woman's sins are deliberate and very hurtful, and she is redeemable only
after she suffers losses almost as great as the ones that froze her heart in
the first place.
More extreme than Yuki-onna is Cologne. She appears to be the standard,
fanfic-canon Cologne: motivated by a single-minded devotion to her tribal
laws, with no tolerance for alternative belief systems. One possible way to
give substance to this Cologne is to provide a biography - like that of Yuki-
onna - that so convincingly explains her devotions as to build some
understanding or even sympathy among readers who are nonetheless repulsed by
her actions. Another possibility is what Perry has done: portray a Cologne
whose motivations and beliefs are so alien from our own that she is nearly
inscrutable. The fact that she has a few things in common with us - love of
family, allegiance to tribe, respect for achievement - makes possible some
communication with her, an uneasy peace.
Now compare Cologne to the most "extreme" of Ranma's and Akane's foes in
_HoI_: the Shadowcat. Infinitely more alien than Cologne, the 'Cat is
completely inscrutable: we cannot comprehend its motivations and allegiances
and no negotiated settlement with it is conceivable. It is an implacable
enemy not because it has a poor conscience - human notions of right and wrong
are irrelevant in its realm - but because peaceful coexistence with it is
physically impossible.
On the spectrum I have constructed, the Shadowcat is the most evil _HoI_
character and Cologne is a distant second. Their unsavory status is a product
not of their relative immorality, but of their relative separation from us.
The things that define their intentions and actions are just too different
from our own defining motivations. In this complicated context, providing a
back story on why Cologne has reached this degree of separation would seem
trivial to me; the attempt merely to perceive and define her separateness is
challenge enough.
In my opinion.
Taleswapper
* * * *
* III. CREATION *
* * * *
In the final part of Swap This!, I will publish short, just-for-fun works of
my own Ranma fan fiction or metafiction. I am currently working on more
substantial Ranma fanfics, which I will publish under a separate alias.
***
This story, not exactly a fanfic, contains a few naughty words.
Stop Me If You've Heard This
by Taleswapper
"Kampai!"
Chigusa-san raised his mug of beer, and I followed his lead. I was very
pleasantly surprised by his joviality. His manner in the office was so
reserved and formal; Omuri-kun had joked that I was kohai to a corpse. But
here at the smoky, noisy Papa's Bar & Grill, we were drinking and laughing and
talking excitedly about baseball and other things that had nothing to do with
the commodities markets. My sempai was not only alive, he could clearly party
like a college student.
As the crowd at Papa's became more raucous, so did we. Chigusa-san had just
made a most unseemly remark about the young ladies who were with those
accountants in the corner booth. I laughed as if it were the best dirty joke
I'd ever heard. With the better part of two beers in my belly, I had begun to
feel a little bold myself, so I tried to contribute more materially to the
conversation.
"Ah, sempai. Do you know why Bill Clinton wears wool boxers?"
"The U.S. President?" he replied, eyebrows raised. "No, why?"
"To keep his ankles warm!"
We guffawed like teenagers. Chigusa-san clapped me on the back and yelled for
the Master to bring us another round.
"Excellent, Morioka-kun! I like you very much." We drank from the mugs just
served to us.
"So tell me, do you have a girlfriend?"
"Hai," I replied, dabbing at the corner or my mouth with a napkin. "Actually,
we're thinking
about getting married sometime next year."
"You were just waiting until you found a good job, yes?" I nodded. "Very
good!" he continued. "Omedeto!"
I grunted my thanks, bowing jerkily. We sat in silence for a moment.
"Aha! That reminds me of a story," Chigusa-san said. He made a little
beckoning motion with his hand. "Listen closely." I put on my best attentive
expression, and he began the tale.
"There was a man named Tendo, a master of martial arts who operated a modest
dojo in the Nerima District. Now, Tendo was a widower who had three beautiful
daughters but no sons. He loved his daughters very much and was concerned for
their futures. Like any father, he wanted to be sure that they would find
good husbands who would take care of them. At the same time, he wanted to
find a way to ensure that the Tendo Dojo would carry on after he retired.
"Fortunately, Tendo had an old friend, another martial artist named Saotome.
Saotome had a son who was shaping up to be a world-class martial artist. The
two old friends decided to unite their families by marrying the younger
Saotome to one of the Tendo girls. This arrangement would have the effect of
neatly addressing Tendo's main concerns: he would marry off one of his
daughters to a strong, skilled man, and he would gain a male heir to take over
the dojo.
"Of course, the question was: which of his three lovely daughters should Tendo
betroth to Saotome's son?"
"What was the son's name?" I blurted out.
Chigusa-san looked at me a little sharply, and I knew then it had been a
mistake to interrupt. "The son's name?" He thought for a second. "It was
Ranma." I nodded deferently, then he drank from his mug and continued.
"So. To determine which of the Tendo daughters would marry young Ranma, Tendo
resolved to set a little test. It would be a test by which Tendo would judge
not only his daughters, but Ranma as well."
"The family of Tendo's wife had been wealthy, and she had inherited a tidy sum
which Tendo had used to maintain the Dojo and to help his family through lean
times when students were not plentiful. Tendo called his daughters together
and informed them of the arrangement with Saotome and his son. The father
told his girls that he would give them each 10 million yen to use as they saw
fit. However, Tendo said, he planned to inform Ranma about how each of the
girls used the money. Presumably, their actions would affect Ranma's judgment
as to which daughter he would prefer to wed.
"The eldest daughter, named, ah, Kasumi was a very traditional young lady.
Submissive and soft-spoken, she had taken on the household duties after
Tendo's wife died. As a result, Kasumi was a superlative cook and homemaker.
Thinking that it would be best for her husband to decide what to do with the
money, Kasumi opted to simply put the 10 million yen in a passbook savings
account.
"The second daughter was very nearly her elder's opposite. Tendo Nabiki was a
thoroughly modern girl, bold, independent, and not a little mischievous.
Nabiki took her 10 million yen and played the stock market. With
extraordinary ability to predict the biggest gainers and decliners, she was
able to double her money within a few weeks. She took the original principal
and put it in a conservative annuity to serve as an emergency reserve. The
profits went into more aggressive investments that, Nabiki reasoned, would
eventually free her husband from the need to charge the Dojo's students.
"Finally, there was young Akane. She was the only daughter to have studied
with her father, and was a most accomplished martial artist, perhaps the best
in the District before Ranma came along. Akane was also the only one of the
Tendo girls to have previously expressed great interest in inheriting the
dojo. Akane took the 10 million yen and bought state-of-the-art training
equipment to make the dojo one of the finest in Tokyo. She also purchased
texts from other schools, detailing martial techniques that had been well-kept
secrets for generations."
Chigusa-san paused and finished his beer, then went on. "Saotome brought his
son to the Tendo Dojo, where Ranma was introduced to the prospective brides.
Tendo reported on the financial activities of his three daughters and asked
the young man to choose his future wife."
Chigusa-san brought his mug down to the table with a dramatic slam. "Now,
Kohai. Whom do you think Ranma chose? Kasumi, Nabiki, or Akane?"
I was taken off guard by the question. Too quickly, I responded, "Sempai, I
have no idea."
He looked a little disappointed. "Well, who do *you* think would be the best
choice?"
Oh no, I cried inside. It was a test! Not fair, testing me when we were
relaxed and drunk and convivial like this! Which daughter was best? Kasumi
was like an ideal wife. But Nabiki would best guarantee future security. Yet
wouldn't Akane make the most sense as partner to the Master of a Dojo? My
head spun, my earlier boldness completely gone. I decided to take the safest,
humblest way out. "Sumimasen! I am not sure. Sempai, tell me which daughter
would be the best wife. Whom did Ranma choose?"
Chigusa-san held out his hands and shrugged his shoulders, as if the answer
were quite obvious. Then he told me.
"The one with the biggest tits!"
***
Based on a joke told to me by my boss, in a setting comparable to the one
depicted. Apparently it's a very old joke and I am one of the last people to
have heard it.
Ja ne!
Taleswapper