"A Hell of a Life"
by Shaule Sachs
= - = Part 1 = - =
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Version 0.1
Author Notes:
(1) Working title of "A Hell of a Life" suggested by Louis-Philippe
Giroux.
(2) This is a MEGA crossover, in that there are elements from other
series, both American television, anime, and comics, involved in this
story. To name a few, "Kung Fu: The Legend Continues," "Wonder Woman,"
"Bubblegum Crisis," "Dr. Strange; Sorcerer Supreme," and "Kung Fu: The
Original Series."
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// Ranma IS coming BACK! // Akane thought angrily as she walked
to school. True, it had been over a week since Ranma and Happosai had
disappeared in that cloud of smoke with that demon they had fought.
The fact that Ranma could be dead did not cross her mind. Only the
sorrow of Ranma's disappearance and continuing absence has been
plaguing her mind.
The rumors going around the school didn't help much... Nabiki had
started a betting pool on when Ranma would return. The most popular
bet was that he wouldn't. The side bets were that either Ranma was
dead or didn't want to return to Nerima. The second most popular bet
was that he would return in two days, after the first two days passed,
those people joined either the Ranma-was-dead group or
Ranma-wasn't-coming-back group.
Although a week had passed, the events that lead up to Ranma's
disappearance were still fresh. Akane remembered...
It was a typical afternoon, Ranma and his father were practicing
in the backyard. Akane was watching, marveling at Ranma's level of
skill, and how handsome he was as he dodged, countered, and
counter-attacked his father's moves.
Kasumi had brought some lemonade out for everyone to cool off.
Ranma and Genma had stopped sparring. Nabiki had come back from her
errands and everyone was enjoying the lemonade. Ranma had even sat
down next to Akane. Akane took advantage of Ranma's closeness to lean
against him.
Akane was content. It was a beautiful day, she had Ranma at her
side, a glass of refreshing lemonade, and her family close by. What
more could a girl ask for?
Out of nowhere, a bucket of water hit Ranma, activating his
curse. Onna-Ranma and the rest looked surprised as onna-Ranma did.
While everyone knew Ranma was a water magnet, but even water did not
come out of thin air.
The answer came from a voice that was attached to onna-Ranma's
bust. Happosai, holding up a bra, asked onna-Ranma, "Would you please
wear this for your beloved master?"
"Get off me, you old pervert!" onna-Ranma screamed as she threw
Happosai at a tree. Happosai simply used the tree to bounce back at
onna-Ranma. Onna-Ranma simply side-stepped Happosai, who then landed a
couple of feet away.
Just as Happosai was going to say something, a loud crash was
heard. The sound came from the Tendo Dojo wall crumpling as a giant
stepped on it. The giant looked just like an Oni out of the old
legends. The Oni was a huge, muscled, fanged monster with horned like
a bull, with red skin. The Oni was carrying a kanabo, a large spiked
iron bar.
The Oni looked at Happosai and said, "I have found you again,
monk!"
"And you'll regret it, again, Oni!" Happosai answered back.
Onna-Ranma was as confused as everyone else was. Dumbly,
onna-Ranma took the hot water that Kasumi handed her and dumped it
over her head. After a few seconds, Ranma, now male, saw Happosai
battling the Oni. Ranma quickly noticed that Happosai's manners,
attitude, and style had changed from the old perverted, babbling
Happosai he knew to a serious, quiet martial artist. It was like
seeing a completely different person. Ranma watched slightly, in awe,
as Happosai attacked and countered the Oni with a skill and
determination of a true master of the Martial Arts. It was something
that Ranma had never seen in Happosai before. Ranma also noted that
the Oni and Happosai were evenly matched. From the ease at which the
other could counter the other's special moves, Ranma thought this was
a battle that had been fought many times over. Probably to a stalemate,
each time.
Despite all the problems Happosai had caused Ranma, he could not
stand by and let Happosai fight alone. Because of all the damage
Happosai and the Oni were causing and the near-misses that had almost
hit Akane helped Ranma make his decision. Ranma attacked the Oni with
a flying side-kick to the Oni's head which caught it off-guard and
sent the Oni tumbling down.
The Oni quickly got up and attacked Ranma. While Ranma dodged,
Happosai attacked it. When the Oni directed its attention to Happosai,
Ranma would attack. Unable to defend itself from a two-sided attack,
the Oni decided to leave. As the Oni was teleporting, Ranma and
Happosai, both saw an opening and attacked.
There was a flash of light and a cloud of smoke. After the cloud
disappeared, the Oni, Happosai, and Ranma was gone. All that remained
was a stench that was similar to one of Akane's cooking attempts.
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Kasumi had paused in her cleaning and noticed Nodoka Saotome
entering the walkway that lead to the house. While Kasumi was happy to
see Nodoka, Kasumi did not like to lie to her about Ranma and his
father. So, when Nodoka asked after Ranma, Kasumi was happy that she
did not have to lie, she could honestly say she did not know where he
was or when he would return. Kasumi was surprised when Nodoka did not
sigh as she usually did nor did she inquire about her husband.
Instead, with a neutral face, Nodoka said, "I know..."
Those two little words worried Kasumi but Manners must be
attained. So Kasumi invited Nodoka for tea but Nodoka simply said,
"Please forgive me, but I must see to something first...."
It was then that Kasumi noticed two things as Nodoka walked
toward the backyard. First, the Saotome family sword which Nodoka
always carried on her back was missing. The second was that Nodoka had
a thermos in her hand.
In the backyard, Soun Tendo sat next to the shogi board
contemplating his next move. By the pond, a wet panda was playing with
a tire. A sign near the panda said, "I am a simply a panda."
Nodoka simply walked over to Mister Panda, unscrewed the thermos
she had, and threw the thermos' contents at the panda. Upon being
splashed with hot water, the panda changed into Genma right before
Nodoka's eyes.
Kasumi, who had watched the events unfolded, saw that not a flash
of surprise crossed Nodoka's face, only a resigned sadness was
present. The silence that descended with Genma's transformation ended
with Nodoka's statement of "So, it's true..."
During lunch, Akane could hear the various people whispering
around her. Just as it was getting to the point where she was going to
bash someone, the crowd of students fell silent.
Looking around she noticed that everyone was looking towards the
east. She noticed that all the boys had stars in their eyes and all
the girls were wild-eyed. After observing the group, she turned her
attention to the object that had so captured everyone else's
attention.
Walking towards her was a woman. Words like regal, perfect,
divine, wonder, and the like floated through her head as she looked at
the stranger. The strange woman's hair was like an wave in the ocean
as it floated in the air. There was something strange about the
woman's eyes but Akane's mind refused to identify it. The strange
woman didn't so much as walk as she seemed to glide over the distance
between herself and Akane.
The woman stopped a few meters in front of Akane and began to
look her over from toe to head. Akane felt naked in the woman's stare.
After the inspection, the woman looked down at Akane and stared
directly into her eyes.
There was a music element to the woman voice as she spoke to
Akane saying, "So you are the one called Akane Tendo..."
Akane felt like she was made out of marble, she could not move or
say anything. Not that she had anything to say...
The woman shook her head and said, "I don't see what Ranma could
ever have seen in you..."
Akane's anger flared. How could this the woman, who came out of
nowhere, just insulted her like that? Her shock that the woman seemed
to know Ranma held her tongue.
"You don't look like competition to me," the woman continued to
say as she gave Akane a second look over.
"Why you..." Akane exclaimed angrily.
"Oh, I can wait," the woman said. "You'll live what... another
sixty, seventy, eighty years at the most... As I said, I can wait."
//Nani?!?// Akane thought.
"You make sure you keep *my* Ranma nice and warm, now, girl," the
woman stated. "If not, I'll just take him back earlier..."
[=== End of Part 1 ===]