In the FBI building, where we lay our scene:
The door to the screening room opens, and Scully enters, followed by
Mulder. Scully takes a small spiral notebook out of her coat pocket.
Scully: I made some notes on what happened last time.
Mulder: Lemme see.
He takes the notebook.
Mulder: "Spring-heeled Jack, by John Shearen." <opens it> <flips the
pages> Scully, this is blank.
Scully: Exactly.
She removes her coat and sits down.
Mulder: ... <removing his coat> I guess we'll just start with chapter
2, then.
***
Chapter Two: A Devil of a Time
Somewhere across the planet, two girls were walking across a
school campus. One was dressed in blue jeans and a striped
sweater. The other was wearing a gray skirt and a white blouse.
They were so engrossed in their conversation that they did not
realize that they were being followed. If they paid any attention,
they would have noticed that the young girl was busy scoping out
the schoolyard.
Mulder: Once again we have poor grammar rendering entire paragraphs
incomprehensible.
Suddenly, she stopped and let out a yelp. The two girls
ahead of her turned around.
"Azusa, what on earth are you doing here?" the girl with the
strange hairstyle asked.
Rubbing her backside, Azusa replied, "I wanted to know where
you went to school, Yohko."
Scully: Am I missing something? Did she get bit on the backside?
Mulder: Maybe she just likes to fondle her own butt.
Running up to her friend, she gave her
a hug that almost squeezed the breath out of them.
"Well, you better be getting home before mother finds you
missing, young lady," Yohko stated with a touch of sarcasm. "We
have to be in class in five minutes. As it is, I am almost
flunking out of college. I cannot afford to miss five minutes of
school. We will talk when I get home."
At first the youngest girl looked like she was going to cry
then changed her mind. "Hai! Mata ne," she said before running
off.
"I wonder what that was about," Chikago Okagawa, Yohko's best
friend and Devil Hunter Business Manager said as they headed to
class.
Scully: About five paragraphs or so.
Yohko wondered the same thing. Of all her classes,
criminology was her favorite. Upon graduating, Yohko wanted to be
a Criminal Scientist.
Mulder: Remember when crime was a viable career option for high-school
dropouts? Now _everything_ requires a college degree.
Scully: (Yokho) I�m getting a Master�s Degree... in Evil!
Of all her classes in high school,
psychology was her favorite. In addition, she also favored
theological and occult studies, courses that were wonderful for
Devil Hunting but had no actual bearing on say, real life.
Mulder: I wish I went to her high school. I had to take typing and
ceramics. Do you know what it�s like being the only person in the class
with an IQ above room temperature? In Celsius?
Scully: Occult studies, huh? And I thought the fuss over sex-ed was
bad.
Chi followed her wherever Yohko went in case there was a
contract that needed to be filled. To her, hunting devils was a
profit maker, since she didn't have to take any risks. Risks
were left up to Yohko, Azusa, Ayako and the other Azusa, whose
name Chi could never remember.
Mulder: Anaheim.
Scully: Cucamonga.
==|-------
After arriving home from school, Azusa went up to her room to
study for her math test on Monday. She was so wrapped up in her
studies that she didn't hear Yohko walk into the room. Sneaking up
on her partner, she gently tapped the girl on the shoulder. All
that could be heard in the neighborhood was a blood-curdling scream
that sent shivers down the residents' backs.
Scully: Jumpy girl.
*"You scared the life out of me!"* Azusa yelled at her
friend and partner.
Mulder: (Azusa) Now it�s over, I�m dead, and I haven�t done anything
that I want!
Yohko could not help but burst out in a fit of laughter. "I
couldn't help it. You had your nose in the book so far that you
didn't hear me call you to dinner," Yohko said when she could
breath again. "You know how Grandmother is if we're late for
dinner."
Azusa nodded and put her pencil down. Together they walked
down to the dining table.
"How was school?" Sayoko Mano asked as the girls sat. "Did
you find a boyfriend yet?" Yohko's mother had an impish gleam in
her eye. "You should be able to find at least one good looking
fellow at that school you go to."
Scully: (Yokho) I�ve got my eye on the president of Students for
Ba�al.
Yohko ignored her mother as usual. Ever since she was
fifteen, her mother wanted her only child to experience the joys of
womanhood-preferably, as soon as possible.
Scully: (Sayoko) C�mon, honey, when you gonna get laid? All your
friends have gotten laid.
Mulder: You try to raise a girl to be a proper slut, but she gets all
prissy on you.
_As usual, she keeps
asking the same question every other day. Sometimes, even twice a
day._
"Daughter, you should let your daughter find out about
womanhood on her own. It doesn't help her if you continue to try
to run her social life like the disaster you call your own," Madoka
Mano said as she retired from the table. "Besides, she isn't like
you...thank the kami. I wanted you to carry on the legacy of the
family. But NO, you had to go out and start enjoying that pleasure
earlier than you should.
Mulder: (John Belushi) You could have been a credit to our family, but
NOOooooo... YOU had to go turn tricks at the airbase for spare change.
Scully: (Jane Curtin) Mama, for your information, I had to WORK my way
through reform school.
At times you should have been like Yohko."
Now was the time to make a strategic retreat, and as soon as
possible before the fisticuffs began.
Mulder: (Belushi) Come and get me, you little slut!
Scully: (Curtin) I�ll knock your block off, you old bag!
Yohko and Azusa headed to
the den and hit the Control, Alt, Shift, and F12 keys on the
keyboard simultaneously. Immediately the floor began to sink into
the ground, becoming the elevator to the Training Room of the Devil
Hunters.
Mulder: To the batcave!
As they rode down the elevator, they could hear the two
adults going at it.
Mulder: Point Counter Point will return after these messages.
"I still don't understand them," Azusa said as they entered
the training area.
"I had to live with that longer than you did and I don't
understand it either,"
Mulder: It�s quite simple. They�re completely insane.
Yohko stated as she walked over to the far
wall. Stepping into the sparring section of the room, Yohko called
forth her Soulsword. "Feel like practicing our katas?"
Somewhere between the time they entered the basement and the
time they came up-a span of a few hours--the argument had ended.
Scully: The results of the debate are in. Sayoko is a slut, by two
falls to a ring-out.
Each thanked the heavens that they did not have to hear the whole
thing. On the way up to their room, the phone rang.
"Moshi, Moshi," Yohko said.
"Yohko Mano irashaimasu ka?" A male voice asked.
"Hai,"
Mulder: I knew it!
Scully: What?
Mulder: Japanese is only used for dealing with westerners. The
Japanese use English with each other, like everybody else.
Scully: Sure.
Mulder: <grins> It�s a conspiracy, Scully!
"Yohko-san, this is John Hampton."
"John-san!" Yohko exclaimed. "Long time no hear. How are
you?"
"Fine, thanks for asking. I have a proposition for you."
"Hai."
Scully: (Yohko) I been saving myself for you!
"I have a friend in England that could use your help." John
explained the entire situation to her. Every once in a while she
would ask a question and he would answer. Two hours of the
question and answer session went by before he commented, "So what
do you think?"
Scully: I thought his name was John _Hancock._
Mulder: It�s a secret identity, Scully.
Scully: Oh.
Mulder: So people don�t pester him for his autograph.
Scully: Right.
"Of course we'll go. When do we leave?" Yohko asked.
"Who? Where?" Azusa asked tugging on her friend's sleeve.
"How about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow?"
"Is that too soon?"
Scully: We can drag out the plot if you like.
"No, that will be fine. Sayonara, John-san."
"Shuretsui shimasu."
Mulder: Buenos Nachos.
Scully: Guy Lombardo.
Yohko sighed as she hung up the phone. Now, how to explain
this....
*"Now tell me what that was all about!"* Azusa exclaimed
with frustration in her voice. She could only understand a few
words her friend said.
Scully: (Azusa) I *hate* it when you speak Japanese!
Taking her hand, Yohko headed up to their room. Once inside,
she began. "A friend of my grandmother's has a friend that is
having trouble. He called and asked if I wanted to help. I agreed
that you and I will go to England tomorrow."
Azusa stared at her friend. "Are you *BAKA*?" Sitting on
her bed, she tried to comprehend what was just said. "You want me
to go to England with you and I don't know any English. You have
to be crazier than I thought!" Getting up, she walked over to the
window and looked up at the half moon. She had watched some of the
old American horror stories from the thirties and forties. Azusa
wondered if there was anything like them in England.
Scully: Horror movies?
Mulder: (Azusa) Yohko, do they have socks in England?
Lost in thought, she did not notice Yohko get ready for bed.
"Would you be so kind as to turn off the light?" Yohko said
as she snuggled up under her covers. She had to think about what
she was going to tell her mother and grandmother. Of the two, she
knew her grandmother would understand. _But what about mother?
Should I tell Chi that we are going without her? Should I leave
without telling her?_ Before she figured out the answers, Yohko
was sound asleep.
Azusa turned off the light before getting undressed.
Mulder: Azusa is shy.
Sitting
on her bed, she let her mind wander. _When I thought about being a
Devil Hunter, I *never* thought it would come to crazy things like
this! I like Yohko a lot, and I do not want to let her down, but
how can I tell her that I am afraid of going? What can I do?_
Getting back up, she walked back to the window and looked
out. What she saw shocked the young girl. Standing in the back
yard was the First Devil Hunter herself, the Blessed Ancestor,
Haruka Mano. The pale moonlight shining on the young woman gave
her a halo of pure lunar bliss; a fact not lost on Azusa.
Scully: Lunar bliss?
Mulder: Ever dance with a Devil Hunter in the pale moonlight?
Furthermore, the light gave the woman a dark shadow, further
showing her to be of the light.
Scully: Hey, I have a dark shadow. Does that mean I�m of the light?
Mulder: You�re a blessed presence, Scully.
Walking out of the room, Azusa
headed to the back yard. "I am honored to meet you, honored
ancestor," Azusa said as she bowed.
"I am the one who is honored, Azusa," Haruka began.
Scully: Honor all around, then.
"You
show the qualities that are required to become a Devil Hunter.
Mulder: You�ve got a tight butt and a willingness to look stupid.
Maybe there is something I can do that will make you even better
than you are already."
Azusa was tongue tied as the woman talked. _What do you say
to a Legend?_
Scully: Hello. How are things.
Mulder: And very occasionally AAAAAAUGH!
"Before the two of you leave for England, come down to the
basement." With that, the sigil of the Devil Hunters briefly
glowed on the ground beneath Haruka's feet, a magical circle. An
instant's flash, and Azusa was alone.
_Now I have seen it all._ Azusa thought as she headed back
into the house.
"No, you haven't," a voice called out to her mind. Still
confused, Azusa fell asleep.
Scully: You haven�t seen, for example, England.
Mulder: South Dakota.
Scully: Hoboken.
Mulder: Truffles.
Scully: And, of course, Nigel and Reiko, England�s answer to Homer
Simpson and Mihoshi.
The first rays of sunshine woke Azusa. Looking over at her
friend, sound asleep and in a ball, Azusa got up and headed to the
bath. When she returned, she dressed in a pair of blue cotton
shorts and a light yellow top before waking up her friend.
Scully: Have you noticed a certain concern with attire in this story?
"Yohko-chan. Yohko-chan. *YOHKO-CHAN!!!*"
The mound of blankets stirred. "Huh?"
"Time to get up," Azusa said as she deftly pulled back the
covers. "We have to get ready. Our plane leaves in seven hours
and we have to be at the airport in five."
Scully: And since it takes an hour to get to the airport and three
hours for you to get out of bed, that leaves us only an hour to pack.
"What time is it?" the curled up form of Yohko asked.
"Seven."
"*Seven!* Why on earth did you wake me up so early?"
Rolling her eyes up at the ceiling, she replied, "Because we
have to prepare. Besides, we have to be in the basement in an
hour." Yohko opened her right eye and looked at her friend.
"Don't ask. Just get up."
Knowing that she'd lost, Yohko stretched out and opened up
both eyes. "Did you know that there is a brown spot above my bed?"
"Don't be silly. Of course I know it is there. I was
sitting on my bed when you decided to toss your chocolate donut.
Of course you tossed it too hard and it hit, leaving behind some of
the icing. You said you would clean it up, so I left it alone. If
I knew you were not going to clean it up, I would have," Azusa
explained as Yohko planted both feet on the floor.
Scully: Of course! She tossed her chocolate donut up in the air and...
huh?
Mulder: I have no clue.
"Will you hurry up?"
"What is so important?" Yohko asked as she gathered her
clothes.
"You will find out soon enough," Azusa replied,
egnimatically. Noticing her friend moving slowly, she said
sheepishly, "Please?"
"Ok, ok. Can't you give a person a chance to at least wake
up?"
"Not if it is you. If I left you alone after waking you up,
you would fall back to sleep, like you usually do." Azusa said as
she headed down the stairs.
Scully: Thus... correct me if I�m wrong... leaving Yohko alone.
Yohko swung her left leg off the bed, as her foot touched the
floor, she sat up. _Just once, I would like to sleep late on
Saturday. If Azusa didn't wake me, Chi would have._ She said to
herself as she padded her way down the hall. _Grandmother, there
have been times that I wish I was an ordinary girl instead of being
one of the Devil Hunters. Why did you have to teach me?_ No
matter what she tried to do, Yohko was stuck as a Devil Hunter.
Mulder: (Al Pacino) Every time I think I�m out... they pull me back
in.
Stepping out of the shower, she heard her hyper apprentice
calling from the bottom of the stairs. "Yohko-chan, are you
finished? Your breakfast is getting cold."
"I am coming, Azusa-chan," Yohko replied as she opened the
door, adding, "Give me a minute to dress." Once in her room,
Yohko dressed in a pair of jeans and a loose fitting tee.
Mulder: You�re right. This is an unusually fashion-conscious tale.
Carefully, she braided her hair and slipped the stones over her
braids and formed her unique hairstyle. After slipping on a pair
of gray socks, she joined Azusa in the kitchen.
Mulder: This is important because the author neglected to mention
shoes, thus establishing that Yohko isn�t wearing any.
Scully: Japan. No shoes in the house.
Mulder. AAh. Right.
"What would I do without you, Azusa-chan?"
Beaming with pride, Azusa looked at her mentor and smiled.
"Oh, Yohko-chan, you're the best friend and mentor a girl could
have. Our lives are tied to each other. If I have to do all your
chores, then so be it."
Mulder: (Yohko) Cool. Could you wash the dishes?
Scully: (Azusa) Wash �em yourself.
Azusa looked so proud to be sitting at
the table with her friend and trainer. "Hurry up or we will be
late," she cried as she looked at the clock.
I wonder what is so important? "Ok, I am ready." Before
Yohko had a chance to stand up, Azusa pulled her up and quickly
headed to the den. "Slow down, or I am going to get hurt."
"Gomen, Yohko-chan."
Yohko hit the key combo on the computer that lowered the
elevator down to the training room in the basement.
Azusa let out a frustrating sigh; "We're too late."
Scully: I wonder what a frustrating sigh sounds like.
Mulder sighs.
"No you are right on time," a soft feminine voice called from
behind them. Both girls turned and Yohko stared at the legendary
Haruka Mano.
Mulder sighs.
Azusa ran up to her and gave her a hug. "I was afraid that
we were too late, Gomen," she said, her features showing
admonishment.
Mulder sighs.
Scully: WILL YOU STOP THAT!
Mulder: Frustrated yet?
Scully: Rrrr.
"Azusa-chan, there is nothing to be sorry for. You should be
proud of what you have accomplished in the last four years."
Turning her attention to the other, she eyed her closely. "Yohko-
chan, you have pleased me more than you will ever know."
Mulder: Because I won�t tell you! Nyahh.
"I...uh...where...uh...," Yohko was so tongue-tied she didn't
know where to begin. Staring down at the floor, she said, "Welcome
to my home, Haruka-sama."
"Yohko-chan," the woman said softly, "please sit and let me
tell you both why I am here." Haruka waited until they were
seated. "There is an evil force in England that I want you two to
end.
Scully: You must convince Geri Halliwell to leave the Spice Girls.
I have sensed its evil presence across time and space, and
each day it grows stronger still, yet I am not the Devil Hunter of
this time, and thus, cannot do anything about it. The Devil
Hunters and exorcists of the Western world are no longer as strong
as they used to be, and are thus unprepared to deal with something
of this magnitude.
Scully: Buffy�s on vacation, The Ghostbusters are bankrupt, Doctor Who
is hitting the sauce, and you and I are stuck here reading this...
thing.
Therefore, it falls upon you to deal with it.
But before either of you can do that, I must prepare you for that
evil." The two girls sat there listening to every word. "Yohko-
chan, you are powerful but not enough; Azusa-chan you still need
work. All I can offer is both of you is a little boost."
Mulder: I woulda coulda shoulda hadda Boost.
Haruka stood and bade them to join her. Taking their hands,
she started a soft quiet prayer. The air around them started to
flicker and sent little sparks through them. Neither of them
realized that their clothes changed, and their weapons appeared.
Their soul weapons glowed brighter and felt lighter than they did
before.
Scully: Oh, goody. A power-up.
Their dresses were no longer bright red with gold piping.
Instead, they were extended to ankle length, slits completely to
the waists. The trim of their new garments were of gold, silver,
and copper, and the Devil hunter sigil now occupied a smaller
position over their left breasts. Under the dresses, the two girls
now wore black, form-fitting bodysuits. Soft ankly boots replaced
their short shoes. A small, sash like belt was now around their
waists, with a satchel that held weapons and spell wards. All in
all, their uniforms had changed from the pseudo-Chinese styling to
something that looked more akin to a heavily armed Shinto
priestess.
Scully: These lovely ensembles for the Devil Hunter on the go are from
the spiritualist collection by Vera Wang. Whether battling demons or
dancing the night away, just because you�re a righteous crusader against
the forces of evil doesn�t mean you can�t be stylish. Let�s have a big
hand for Yohko and Azusa. Thank you ladies!
When she finished, she let go of their hands and looked at
them. "These are your new winter uniforms, ideal for the cold in
England.
Scully: They look about ready for a really harsh Pensacola winter.
For now, you can also use your regular uniforms, as well.
Since the evil there is stronger than what you are used to, both
sets of uniforms have been enchanted with extra spell protection.
Now you are ready to be the greatest Devil hunters in the world."
Mulder: We�re doomed.
Before they could answer, Haruka faded into nothingness.
"I...uh...am...uh...," Yohko started to say.
"I talked to her last night before going to bed. I was
looking out the window when I saw her standing in the back yard."
Azusa stated as they took in their new outfits.
Scully: (Azusa) This is a size eight! I *told* her I was a size six!
Suddenly, they heard the elevator come down. Neither of
them heard it go up. "Where did you get those new dresses?"
Madoka asked.
Mulder: And what happened to the clothes the author so painstakingly
established you were wearing?
Scully Take your shoes off in the house, girls.
"Oh grandmother," Azusa joyfully answered, "Haruka-sama was
here. She did this to us. Don't we look awesome?"
Madoka eyed the two Devil Hunters clinically. "I take it
that you two are going on a trip?"
Yohko stood there with her mouth hanging open and nodded yes.
After a couple of seconds, she recovered and asked, "How did you
know?"
Scully: Your bags are packed; you�re ready to go.
Mulder: Taxi�s waiting, he�s blowing his horn.
"Woman's instincts for such things. Besides, I have talked
to John-san yesterday. He filled me in with the details and I had
him call back last night." She turned around headed back upstairs.
"You should change your outfits and get ready to leave."
Looking at each other, they agreed and changed back to their
street clothes. Once back up on the main floor, they headed up to
their room and packed. By the time they finished, the taxi pulled
up in front. Saying goodbye to grandmother, they walked out and
climbed into the car.
Before they could get six blocks, the stones in Yohko's hair
brightened. _Hell, I can't even go anywhere before something pops
up_, Yohko thought as she had the driver stop.
Standing on the street corner was a samurai. The driver
could not believe his eyes. The man looked like he walked off of
a movie set.
Yohko stepped out of the car, Azusa at her side. *"You have
threatened an innocent pair of girls to miss their flight to
foreign lands and new horizons and endangered a cabdriver's daily
duties, as well."*
Mulder: Thus violating sections twelve point eight, point ten, and
fourteen point two of the Japan uniform penal code specifically
forbidding interfering with young girls trying to catch a plane.
A vortex appeared around Yohko and Azusa as
they continued their chanting: *"Now all that remains are women
who will be late and extremely pissed off!"* Their clothes blasted
off them, and were replaced by strands of energy, which quickly
formed into fabric, then clothing. Moving into a ready pose, she
added, *"Prepare to face the 108th Devil Hunter!"* Forming the
Yin-Yang symbol in front of her, she completed her war cry, *"Yohko
Mano! Demon, your end is at hand! Sword of my soul, appear!"*
Calling forth her soulsword, she planted both feet shoulder width
apart.
*"And I, Azusa, Devil Hunter in Training,"* Azusa said as she
formed her soulspear. Taking the same stance as her friend, they
faced off their opponent.
Mulder: (Samurai) Hey! I�m just waiting for a bus.
The samurai stared at both of them before facing Yohko. With
calculated steps, the apparition advanced on the Devil Hunter.
Drawing a long sword out of his scabbard, he drew closer to Yohko.
With a quick swish of his sword, he cut her dress above her
breasts. Jumping back, she revealed to the driver that she was
wearing pale blue panties.
Scully: The mark of true quality in a writer is a careful attention to
wardrobe.
As he swung again, Azusa was there to parry the swing.
Looking down at her dress, she fumed, *"Now you've done it!
I just had my dress mended two days ago!"* With three lightning
fast swings, she had eliminated her opponent, each swing a fiery
blaze that slashed and burned with the intensity of a sun. Yohko
became a whirling dervish, moving with a speed that she'd never
moved at before.
Mulder: Caught in a frenzy of religious ecstasy, Yohko spun madly until
she collapsed from exhaustion.
"Damn, this was too freaky." Azusa stared at her friend.
She never saw Yohko make that kind of move before. "C'mon, Azusa,
we better change back and get going or we will miss our flight."
Azusa just followed her friend, still too dazed to realize that
they had shifted back to their regular clothes.
"Ah...where...uh...did you learn to fight like that?" The
driver asked once they were moving again.
"My grandmother taught me. She was faster than I am when
she was my age, whereas I seem to be higher in the power
department." Yohko replied as she pulled out her compact and
reapplied her makeup. Looking into the rearview mirror, she
could read his lips: _"Kiree na ashi."_
Mulder: Kiss my ass.
A smile flitted across
her face, a gesture of appreciation at his remark and a playful
flirtation. Satisfied with her feminine charms, she turned to
Azusa. "Hey, Azusa-chan. Snap out of it." All she got in
return was a blank stare. Not wanting to spend the rest of the
trip from Yokohama to Narita in silence, Yohko gently slapped
Azusa.
"What was that for?" Azusa asked as she touched her cheek
briefly.
"Azusa no baka.
Scully: Helpful hint for new writers: learn a few phrases of a foreign
language, then drop them in without explaining them. This makes you
look like someone who knows what he�s talking about.
Mulder: Unless, of course, you use the same phrase everyone else uses,
in which case you simply look like a... well... baka.
You were out of it. I was worried." Yohko
stated flatly. "Thank you for your help Azusa-chan. I almost lost
that one."
"That is why I am here," Azusa said. Leaning closer, she
whispered, "Where did you learn to move so fast? I haven't seen
you move like that before."
Mulder: _Soul Train_ reruns on BET.
Puzzled, Yohko looked at her friend. "I don't know what you
are talking about."
"You took him out with three fast swings. I could barely
keep up with your sword, it moved too fast. Plus, I've never seen
you use that spell on your sword before."
Yohko's response was a blank stare. She was still puzzled,
with no clue as to what Azusa was talking about.
Scully: (Yohko) I like traffic lights. How about you?
From up front, the driver added, "She is right, you know. I
have seen my share of sword fights, but I've never seen anyone
swing so fast."
Mulder: (Driver) Yeah, we cabbies see a lot of action. You know I
almost got eaten by Godzilla once?
All Yohko could do was smile at him as he continued driving.
Scully: I�ll take �Cupid�s biggest screwups� for a thousand, Alex.
As they neared Tokyo Tower, both rings and stones brightened
the interior of the car. "Don't tell me, you want to stop and take
care of this, right?" the driver asked as he pulled over. As the
two reached for the door handles, he briefly muttered to himself,
"I'd better get a hell of a tip out of this. Or her phone
number...."
Mulder: Just leave the meter running, like any other cabbie.
Without answering, the passengers got out and looked up at
the tower. Somewhere in the tower was at least one powerful demon
that they needed to face before continuing on their trip.
Mulder: Because you have to pass *through* the Tokyo Tower to reach the
airport.
Facing
each other, they nodded and headed in. Calling out in a loud
voice, Yohko challenged whatever was lurking inside. *"I am late
for my flight as it is, now I have to take care of you. If I am
delayed any longer, I will be really pissed. Show yourself."*
The two girls changed into their outfits. Somewhere along the
line, Yohko's dress was repaired.
Scully: I�m the author, I can�t be bothered with details.
*"I, Yohko, the 108th Devil Hunter is here to destroy you."
*"And I, Azusa, Devil Hunter*, in training, *is here too."*
They did not have to wait long. Shortly after retrieving
their weapons, a tall mean looking apparition appeared in front of
them. *"Ha, you are too puny and weak to do anything here. Go
back home and play with your little toys."* It taunted before
turning its back on them.
Mulder: (Demon) I fart in your general direction.
*"Just where do you think you are going?"* Yohko bellowed.
Her sword brightened as she advanced. Sweat began to bead on her
forehead as the haunt turned and looked at her with his dark red
eyes.
*"I am going where I want to go. Come try and stop me."*
Without warning, Yohko found herself on the ground looking up at
Azusa. Neither of them saw what hit her. Azusa let out a battle
cry and advanced. This time Yohko was amazed at the speed and
determination that Azusa showed against her opponent. This battle
took longer than the one Yohko faced. No matter how hard she
tried, Yohko could not stand up. Relenting, she let her friend
fight this battle on her own.
Mulder: (Yohko) Man, I�m soused... sic�em, Azusa.
Azusa slashed out with her soulspear and produced a gash on
its upper arm. Before it could make a swing of its own, she
slashed downward and cut both shins. As it attacked, Azusa jumped
over its head and landed behind it. No matter how close it tried
to get to her, Azusa lashed out or jumped out of the way. There
was no one other than Yohko to see her pale pink panties as she
jumped and twirled.
Scully: I�m starting to think someone may have a bit of a fetish.
Unlike Yohko, Azusa had taken almost an hour to defeat her
opponent. When the fight ended, there wasn't even a scratch on
her. Azusa walked over to Yohko and helped her up. "How come you
didn't help me?"
"I would have liked to, but I couldn't move. Something was
holding me back," Yohko replied as they walked out.
"I was getting worried about you two," their driver said as
they climbed back in.
Looking out the window, Yohko stated to no one in particular,
"I have a suspicion why I could not fight. Someone is testing both
our skills."
Mulder: That explains... nothing, actually.
Both passengers were lost in thought as they
continued their way to Narita.
==|-------
Somewhere in Tokyo, Chi was busy negotiating a contract for
Yohko with the president of Ashita Co LTD, the largest manufacturer
of jokes, magical and novelty items in Japan. Chi was sitting in
the plushest chair she ever sat in. On the other side of the table
sat Mr. Ito Baaba.
Scully: Known as something of a "black sheep" in the industry.
Both were dressed for business. Chi wore a
light brown skirt and jacket over a white blouse and he was wearing
a dark blue suit, a white shirt and a multi striped tie.
Mulder: This information provided for those of you who care.
"Sir, I
know four people who do this kind of thing all the time. I am
their publicist. I am willing to guarantee one hundred percent
satisfaction or they don't get paid. What other group can say
that?"
"Young lady, I understand all that, the only question is, can
they handle such as the one that is plaguing this company?" he
asked as he looked across the table.
Scully: Young lady... have YOU any wool?
Chi looked him directly into his eyes and answered. "Sir,
they know what they are doing. My associates, have been doing this
kind of work for the last six years."
Mulder: (Chi) Ito Baaba-san.... What do YOU want?
Scully: Three bags full.
Looking out the large
window, Chi wished she had brought Yohko along. Unfortunately, Chi
knew that she was still sleeping, as usual.
Returning her attention back to the meeting, Ito agreed to
the contract. Reaching inside her bag, Chi pulled out a self-
designed contract and passed it over for his signature. Once it was
signed, they stood and thanked each other before Chi headed out.
Mulder: I, Ito Baaba, do sign over to Okagawa Chikago my immortal
soul... HEY! We never discussed this!
==|-------
All of a sudden, the car stopped. Yohko and Azusa looked at
each other then out the windshield. Standing in the middle of
route three was another demon. Opening the door, Yohko screamed,
*"I can't believe this. I am on my way to the airport and you have
to show up. I am getting tired of being delayed. Prepare for your
nonexistence. Because Yohko, the 108th Dev-aw, the hell with it."*
Scully: Even she�s getting bored with the plot.
Yohko changed outfits again.
Mulder: It�s important to be dressed properly for the occasion.
Azusa looked at the eight-foot tall demon and said, *"Yeah,
what she said."*
Taking their stance, the two girls faced their opponent. The
demon, a cross between Godzilla and King Kong, looked at them and
growled. Neither of the fighters could understand what it said.
As the girls drew forth their soul weapons, it advanced on Azusa.
As it swung its massive paw, Azusa flipped backwards out of the
way. Noticing its opponent wasn't there, it became angry.
Yohko, took the distraction as an opening, started her
attack. While Yohko attacked, Azusa came up on its blind side and
attacked. This one was stronger than the previous two. Both girls
were getting hit and thus had to resort to multiple evasive
maneuvers, flipping out of the way.
Scully: I find myself *utterly* fascinated by the narrative skill of
the author. "One girl attacked, then the other attacked. Then they did
evasive maneuvers for a bit." Such scintillating prose.
The demon swung and connected, sending Yohko flying twenty
feet. She hit the pavement with a loud thud. Azusa cried out,
*"Yohko, are you ok?"*
Hearing no reply, Azusa went berserk. With rage embedded in
her heart, she slashed and stabbed at the demon. The demon had a
hard time trying to block all the attacks that Azusa assaulted it
with. Yohko came to and was amazed at the ferocious rage her
partner showed. Azusa neither offered nor granted quarter to her
opponent.
Scully: All of Azusa�s pent-up frustration with panhandlers emerged in
one violent frenzy.
The traffic was backed up for several kilometers in
both directions. Spectators were lined up on the opposite side of
the barrier separating the two lanes as well as good distance
behind them. Yohko could hear a helicopter flying around. Looking
up, she noticed a news crew filming the fight, which was picked up
internationally.
Mulder: In another development in the ongoing Asian Crisis, two young
women fought a cross between Godzilla and King Kong.
Shaking off the landing, she joined her friend
and continued the battle.
Finally after forty-five minutes, the battle was over. With
the wisp of smoke, the demon disappeared. Cheers could be heard
from all around them.
Mulder and Scully: <bored> Yay.
Scully: I feel like I�m watching a couple of kids playing Dungeons and
Dragons.
Shaking their heads, the two girls jumped
into the car and took off. That was the first battle they fought
in a long time with spectators. Normally, there were no spectators
around when they fought.
Scully: Did I mention they didn�t usually have spectators?
Mulder: It�s unusual, having spectators. For them.
Scully: Which they had, this time.
Neither Yohko nor Azusa felt comfortable
if an innocent bystander got injured during their fights.
Scully: Unlike a certain member of a "Special Patrol."
Luckily,
the demon was not prepared to deal with the two armed girls in
front of him. If it happened to defeat them, it would have a field
day on route three.
"Ah...Miss...ah..." the driver started to say.
Yohko looked at him in the mirror and asked, "Yes?"
"Ah...should you...ah...change?" he stammered.
"Oh, we'll do that later. Right now we need to get to the
airport as quickly as we can. We are late as it is and I don't
want to miss our flight." Yohko answered.
Azusa looked out her side and watched the buildings slide
past. She didn't want to think about anything. To her, this was
a waste of time. More than anything, she wanted to go home and
forget about this whole thing. _We usually don't fight three
demons in one day. Why now?_ As she sat there, a tear came from
her eye.
Yohko noticed the solemn change in her friend. Reaching
over, she pulled Azusa closer. When her arms were wrapped around
her friend, Azusa started crying in earnest. "Don't cry Azusa.
Everything will be fine once we get on the plane."
Azusa wiped her eyes and looked up at her best friend.
"Something isn't right Yohko-chan. I can feel an evil presence in
the world. I cannot explain how I know, but it is out there
somewhere."
Scully: Hush, dear. It�s just Jerry Springer.
"I know. I can tell the same thing. I hope Ayako, Azusa,
and Chi can handle whatever pops up here." Yohko said softly as
she stroked her friend's hair. "Just try and relax. We should be
there in a few minutes." _I hope we haven't missed our flight._
"Could you find a quiet spot for us to change? I don't want us to
show up at the airport looking like this." she asked the driver.
Mulder: (Driver) Change... don�t change... change... don�t change...
Nodding, the driver took the next off ramp and drove for
another kilometer before pulling in front of a vacant lot with a
high fence. "This should provide you with the necessary coverage
for your change."
Scully: They didn�t need privacy the last two times.
"Domo arigato." Yohko said as she stepped out. Azusa
followed a second later. Together, the girls walked up to the gate
and Azusa opened the folding gate.
Once the gate was closed again, the two walked out into the
middle of the field and prepared to shift back into their street
clothes. Just as they were about to start, Yohko's beads started
to glow.
Scully: I can practially hear the dice rattle.
*"Not again,"* Yohko cried.
Mulder: Here we go again. "The girls fought the demon. It was a really
tough demon, but the girls finally beat the shit out of it. Then they
got in the car and drove some more."
Azusa simply drew forth her soulspear.
They didn't have to wait long. From the ground came forth
the largest demon they encountered. This one looked like
Frankenstein's monster and the Mummy combined.
Mulder: "...and then they fought one that looked like the Alien and the
Predator combined, and then one that looked like Dracula and the Wolfman
combined, and then one that looked like Pinky and the Brain combined..."
Scully: Well, he could have said the monster was wearing white bandages
and black army boots.
Looking at them,
it bellowed, *"So, you are the ones that destroyed my friends. Now
I am going to destroy you!"* From nowhere, the demon pulled out a
long double handed broadsword. The length of the sword was longer
than Azusa's soulspear. With a mighty swing, it impacted and
shattered the ground where the Devil Hunters stood. Fortunately
both girls leapt backwards to safety.
Standing up, they dusted themselves off and faced their
enemy. For the first twenty minutes, neither of them could get
into a position for victory. Each would try to attack, only to be
propelled back. Azusa took more than her share of hits.
Scully Thus losing more than her share of hit points. Wake me when
it�s over.
One part
of her white bandanna had been cut away along with a few strands of
hair. Yohko scored a small hit on its upper arm, while she had
taken a cut diagonally across the back. Neither of the hits were
life threatening. More than anything, they were mere scratches
that enticed them to fight all the more.
Mulder: I can feel my pulse pound. No, really.
After they separated for an nth time, Yohko and Azusa sat
back. Inexplicably, Yohko bounded up and over the demon while
slamming the point of her sword down into its head.
Mulder: Even the author doesn�t understand Yohko.
As she landed,
the demon let out a roar that shook the entire area and turned to
attack. Azusa, sensing trouble for her friend, ran the shaft of
her soulspear into the body of the demon. Yohko was a mere meter
away from the point as it came out the front side. With a puff of
smoke, the demon vanished, dropping both weapons to the ground.
Yohko retrieved her sword and handed Azusa hers.
"That was close. If you forced it in any further, you would
have stuck me as well." Yohko said as she smiled.
Mulder: An armslength escape.
Azusa looked at her with wide eyes. "Gomen na sai. I could
have seriously hurt you."
Mulder: Hey, Scully, it�s over.
Scully: Mff? Wha? Oh.
"But you didn't and I'm okay. Don't worry about it," Yohko
assured her assistant. "Good job. Come on, we better change and
get to the airport. We are late as it is." Yohko hugged her
friend. They then changed outfits and Yohko lead the way out of
the gate and into the car.
"I guess you had another encounter," the driver asked as they
closed their doors.
Scully: See? When you meet a monster in D&D, it�s called an
encounter. I can�t believe I know this stuff. I�ve been around Frohike
too much.
"Sure did. This one was tougher than the last three," Yohko
said as the car pulled away. "How are we doing for time?"
"Sorry miss, but your flight left twenty minutes ago."
Yohko could feel the sorrow in his voice. "Might as well
take us there anyway. We still might be able to get a flight to
England."
***
Scully: Okay. So after four absolutely *spine-tingling* battles... the
girls miss their plane. Maybe.
Mulder: Last time, we complained that nothing happened. This time,
nothing happened of any consequence. One prologue and two chapters into
the story, and the author is *still* setting things up.
Scully: I can hardly wait for the final confrontation. "Yohko attacked
Jack, and Jack fought back. They battled for a long time. It was
really exciting. Then Yohko cut Jack's head off with her soulsword."
Then Haruka will appear and give her 10,000 experience points or
something.
Mulder: Well, that's it for today. Let's go.
Scully: Next time we have a spare moment, let's do an autopsy or
something.
-- David